Well, hello. First I must say that English is obviously not my native language and that I do straggle with it, but I'm gonna do my very best.
This is an oneshot that I wrote long time ago in my native language and it got pretty good comments, so I really hope you'll like it.
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The first time Sebastian led his eyes on Kurt Hummel in Scandals, he know he would be different.
Sebastian was wondering around in the smoky room, looking for target, when he saw him. He was sitting next to the bar, looking scared, his pale cheeks blushing and his bright eyes searching the club with wonder.
Sebastian didn't realized why he was going toward that boy, it said 'virgin' all over him, but something about him attracted Sebastian more than usual, so he went and took a closer look.
"So, first time here, sweetheart?" His voice was low and made Kurt jump a little with surprise, surprise that only grown as he saw exactly how much the other boy was close to him.
"Is that so obvious?" he asked with embarrassment, looking at the tall and handsome guy in front of him, his cheeks painted with slightly darker red.
Sebastian got farther close to the boy, "well, yeah, but that's all right, I can help you fit in. First, there's something that new guys usually do, when they first come here"
Kurt could felt Sebastian's warm breath over his face, "they do you?" He asked, with a little smile and a raise of his eyebrow.
Sebastian looked to Kurt with a bit of surprise, and then stepped away a little with a smile.
"I'm Sebastian"
Kurt" he replied."
"So, Kurt, I think it's best if I'll stay near you for a while, when the guys see someone new, especially someone with an ass like yours, they can get a bit.. crazy. Believe me, I'm not the worst thing around here" Sebastian said and took the sit next to Kurt's
"For some reason, I find it hard to believe" Kurt said with a grin.
~~~~~~
Kurt and Sebastian were sitting on Sebastian's bed and watched TV when Kurt started talking.
"I think I'll say yes to the new guy, he's cute, you know, if you like hobbits, and I do, so I guess.. Why not?"
Sebastian tightened his jaw, "Good for you, I'm sure you'll be an excellent wife" he answered quickly and looked at the TV without moving his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked with a sigh. He knew Sebastian well enough to know Sebastian's 'I'm unhappy and it's your fault' look.
"Nothing wrong. I just hope that you'll remember to tell that poor boy that only yesterday you dance in nothing but your underpants in a gay club" He said with a dead voice.
Now it was Kurt's turn to tight his jaw with anger. That was mean, even for Sebastian.
"What the hell is the matter with you?!" Kurt shouted. He didn't expect that kind of reaction from his best friend.
Sebastian got up from the bed and looked at Kurt with anger "What matter with me is that I don't get what his shit is all about! You're not that stupid blushing boy anymore! You slept this month with more guys that this Blaine guy will ever sleep with in his entire life! What all of a sudden you're dating?! You don't goes on dates! We don't do this kind of crap!"
"I'm sorry if your little project has failed, but I not here as your project and I can't keep living like this! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of meaningless sex! I'm sick of that empty feeling in my stomach!"
Sebastian touched his head, which suddenly started ache, noticing tiny tears starting to fall down Kurt's cheek
"Love doesn't exist, Kurt! It's something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid-"
"Then they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with?" Kurt continued him.
"Yes, we've watched this show together. But you know what else have we seen? We've seen tons of movies and shows about people falling in love, and I want it! I need it, Sebastian! And I thought that you from all people would understand!" Kurt tried breathed slowly, trying to calm down his slightly shaking body.
"Well I do not understand it! And I think what you don't understand is that you're not a guy in a romantic comedy, you're a slut! A goddamn whore! And you're lying to yourself if you think that you'll ever be more than that!"
Kurt looked at him with shock, his breathing became fast again and his tears were seconds from starting once again.
"Fuck you" He said and stormed out the room
"Gladly!" Sebastian shouted to the empty room, knowing Kurt is no longer hearing him.
He sat on the bed, felt like his body is about to collapse.
"What the hell have I done" He mumbled to himself as the last events finally hit him.
Kurt took a deep breathed before heading to Blaine who was waiting for him at the coffee shop.
To be honest, Kurt really did not go to a date before.
A year ago or so, before he met Sebastian, Kurt wasn't considering 'attractive', and after he met Sebastian, dating was not really one of his routines.
But there he was, going to this date. As strange as it felt, he knew he needed to go there, he had to make that change, so no one would ever call him a slut again.
Blaine noticed him and smiled a wild smile toward him, Kurt sat down in front of him and took a deep breathed. Blaine opened his mouth for greeting him, but Kurt interrupted him with his sudden and fast talking
"look, I can guess what everybody is going to say to you about me, and I need you to know that they what they say will probably be right. In the last few months I've done few things that I don't proud of, and I really hope that we'll be able to go past it. But if you can't, I need to know it, I need to know that you won't ran away" He finished talking and start breathing again, looking al Blaine with a little of anxiety of what he's gonna say.
Blaine smiled a warm smile toward him and looked at his eyes. "Kurt, do you remember the first thing you told me when we first met?"
Kurt nodded no with his head
"You said to me; 'Hello, my name is Kurt. Hey, didn't I sleep with your brother?' Blaine said and laughed a little.
"Oh my god" Kurt said with embarrassment and looked down.
Blaine kept smiling, "I knew about your reputation when I asked you out, it didn't scared me back then and it doesn't scared me now. I'm not going to ran away, Kurt"
He said warmly and put his hands over Kurt's
And in this moment, Kurt knew he's already in love with Blaine Anderson.
Sebastian didn't hear from Kurt since they had that fight in his room.
At first he was mad at Kurt, later he was mad at himself, but during all this time he kept on waiting for Kurt to come back to him.
Kurt always called after fights before. No mattered what was the fight about, he knew Kurt would come of phone him a few days later and everything will come back to be what it used to be.
But he didn't come this time.
Not a week after the fight, not after who weeks or even a month. When half a year had passed, Sebastian realized there was a problem.
So he tried and called him, texted him, went to his house, his school, but nothing. Kurt has gone from Sebastian's universe like he was never there
And then school year was over and Sebastian realized that it was done, that there were no more chances for him. Kurt was graduated and there was no way he stayed in Lima, Sebastian knew Kurt well enough for knowing how much he wanted to get out of this place. And that was the end for them, he could feel it it. Like Kurt left pieces from him inside of Sebastian, and they all of a sudden faded away..
Five years had passed, and in that time Sebastian had became a successful new lawyer, he had money, great house and friends, but it took him a long time to understand that it wasn't enough, that something was missing, that he still couldn't forget Kurt.
He knew there was nothing he could have done about that, and that every attempt for finding someone like Kurt would be just pathetic and doomed. There was no one like Kurt.
So he tried to keep going with his life, keep living with that hole inside of him. And he was pretty damn good in it.
It was from all things, a visit at his parents' house that made him see a change for happiness or new level of depression.
What started that hope and pain was a little envelope that lay calmly on his parents' table, an invitation for his mother, an invitation for Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson wedding
"Rachel, you need to stop crying all over my suit, come on, it's my best one" Kurt said with a smile.
"I'm sorry" Rachel said with a sniff of her nose "I'm just.. so happy for you. baby, you are marrying your prince charming, who help you get out of your bad ways and made you see love and happiness and-" her tears stopped her from continue.
"You make it sounds like I was a series killer" Kurt said and rolled his eyes with affection.
"Guys! Half an hour for the ceremony to start! Wow-" Quinn stopped and looked at Kurt "You look amazing"
"She's right. You do look amazing, sunny boy" Male's voice sound from across the room sound.
"Sebastian" Kurt said with surprise and happiness that made Sebastian's heart skip a bit.
"Girls, would you mind give me a second alone with the groom-to-be?" Sebastian asked with a sweet ton that made Rachel frown.
Quinn and Rachel instantly looked at Kurt with question on their faces.
"That's fine" Kurt said, doesn't moves his gaze from Sebastian, who smiled in relief (which was covered under fake self confident, but Kurt knew him that much to knew when he was faking it)
Both girls nodded grudgingly.
"Remember, half an hour" Quinn said and got out, "Scream and I'll run in" Rachel said with threatening look on her face toward Sebastian and followed Quinn out.
"I must say, I missed her craziness"
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked calmly, even though he was screaming inside, for countless number of reasons.
"Well, my mother got an invitation from your dad, so I figured-"
"Sebastian. Why are you here?"
Because I miss you, was the instant thought, but both of them knew that he could have come earlier or later or at any time other than Kurt's wedding day.
Because I don't want you do marry him. Because you need to stop. Because you shouldn't be with anyone, anyone but me.
Because I love you.
All those thought hit Sebastian at once. It not like a big part of him didn't knew that, didn't always knew it.. But to actually think of those words made him fell sick and scared.
And he knew he can't tell all those things out loud. He couldn't do this to Kurt. He couldn't be doing this for himself.
"I don't know" he finally replied.
"You don't know why you're here?" Kurt asked and sighed. "Of course you don't. Coming to a wedding without an invitation, interrupted the groom thirty minutes before his wedding ceremony, almost makes a breakdown to Rachel Berry, and all that to say nothing. What else could I expect?" He said with not even slightly of anger.
He looked at the clock, "I think I need to go now.. Wedding and stuff.." Kurt said and walked through the door, then he turned around with a small smile.
"It is great to see you again, Sebastian. I did miss you a lot" he said and got out of the room.
Sebastian's breath became heavy, he felt like the air was going out of his chest and refused to come back. He slowly sat against the wall and did what he didn't done for the past twelve years, he cried until there were no more tears left.