It was a routine now, something that Matt had become accustomed to as he pulled away the tight leather, past Mello's knees and threw it onto the floor, something which he knew was going to happen when Mello took his hand and pulled him to their room, lips pulled tight.
Someone had made a comment again.
The hand clawing into his thighs stopped as Matt held his wrists together gently and pulled them away, pushing them overhead. It was routine, what he wanted Mello to feel after all.
A kiss that burned into his skin, covering him in heated marks and soft bites.
A touch that could delve into his mind and scramble it with pleasure until he was grasping at the sheets and begging for more.
A whisper to remind him that he's loved, so give in and be destroyed, I'll put you back together, I promise.
A flinch.
A flinch.
Matt immediately drew his hand back from the scar, using his thumb to rub soft circles into Mello's hip instead. He ached to trail his fingers along the tender mark, to know how to please that part of Mello too with soothing kisses and gentle touches. The first time he had tried Mello had all but shoved him off the bed because how could Matt want him now, how could he see where his skin had bubbled and blistered and still want to kiss him there. How could he not want to baulk and run and the sight of him?
Matt held him as he cried that night.
Moving down him Matt lifted his leg and placed tender kisses along Mello's inner thigh, biting lightly as thin fingers snaked into his hair to hold him there. Matt would creep his lips slowly up Mello's thigh, listening to the sudden hitching of breath and moans caught just before they seeped out, swallowed in a moment of sudden pride and embarrassment. Matt's tongue teased the sensitive skin as his fingers crept up to the edge of the scar, running along it. He could feel the roughness of the scar on one part of his finger, glancing up to see that Mello had his eyes shut tight.
Matt said nothing, putting his leg down and moving back over Mello. He captured his lips in a heated kiss, as Mello wrapped his arms around his neck, refusing to open his eyes as the building tension melted from his body. Matts hand drifted between them, wrapping around Mello's half hard cock, squeezing lightly and rubbing his thumb over the slit, coaxing him to full hardness. Mello's hand drifted from around Matt's neck, down his back, nails digging into the skin, leaving bright red tracks as he went, digging in more as Matt slowly stroked his cock, using the precum dribbling from the tip to smooth the motion. Mello pressed his face into Matt's neck, muffling the soft moans into his skin, hips rocking into the tight fist as Matt reached to the bedside table for the small bottle of lube. Uncapping it he coated his fingers, pressing kisses to Mello's jawline resting briefly on the burn between each kiss when he wasn't pushed away.
Easing one finger into Mello, Matt continued to pepper sweet kisses along the burn covering Mello's neck and shoulder, using his finger to wipe any uneasiness from Mello's mind as he pushed it deeper feeling Mello tighten around him as he found the spot he was looking for, teasing it relentlessly until two additional fingers later, Mello lay splayed out in front of him, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat, flushed red cheeks and trembling thighs.
It was legs tightening around Matt's waist as he pushed in, heavy breathing and the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room which made Matt's stomach coil in pleasure. Mello pressed as close as he could manage to Matt, sloppy kisses coating Matt's shoulder, which he was hiding in, hands sliding along Matt's slick back and into his hair. He didn't want him to see, he wasn't allowed to see the silent tears sliding down his face. Matt knew they were there, Mello's breath shuddering as he tried to control himself, the constant pleasure starting to overwhelm him more than he already was. Mello's nerves were frazzled as he bit down hard on Matt's shoulder, cum coating both his and Matt's stomach as his mind went blank. He barely registered Matt finishing or being shifted around so his back pressed against Matt's chest, soft kisses being pressed against his ear.
It was getting easier, each time it happened, a little more touching was allowed. Matt couldn't change what had happened, or fix it and that wasn't his prerogative, but as Mello tangled their fingers together and relaxed, Matt realised that he could remind him that he was cared for. He wouldn't abandon him, he wouldn't let Mello be abandoned again.