Title: Helplessly, Hopelessly
Author: Spin
E-Mail:
Rating: G
Classification: HMR, Fluff
Summary: Mac turns to an old form of relaxation, and ends up in the arms of the man she loves. (Nothing after 'Lifeline' has happened)
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, so don't sue me.
A Pub Somewhere in D.C.
2200 Hours (that's 10pm right? If not, it's supposed to be 10pm)
Mac parked her car and slowly got out. She reached into the backseat and pulled out a well-used guitar. It had to be at least 15 years old by now, but it was still a beauty. She caressed the neck for a moment and then started towards the building.
It had been three weeks now since the kiss and Mac still couldn't get her mind off of it. She was marrying a man in two weeks, and she couldn't get her mind off kissing another. The problem needed to be fixed. Mac had tried everything though. She just couldn't stop herself from thinking about his gorgeous lips, and how they felt on hers. This was something she had done to relax herself or provide closure when she was young. It was her last option. She was desperate.
She swung open the pub doors and stepped into the slightly smoky interior. She'd only been her twice before, but the owner/manager always called her by name and gave her a smile. She wasn't 'Mac' here. She was 'Sarah', and her songs seemed to be enjoyed. At least the two she'd sung here. The owner spots her and motions for her to come over.
"Hey Sarah, you ready to sing for us again?"
She smiles slightly, "Yep."
The owner nods and then walks onto the small stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen. You're in for a real treat this evening. It is my pleasure to announce that Sarah Mackenzie will be singing a song for us. Here she is folks."
There was clapping and some whistles as Mac walked onstage. She sat down on the stool and tuned her guitar before speaking.
"Hello everyone. My name is Sarah Mackenzie. I'm a United States Marine, but I write songs in my free time," she paused to take a breath, "I wrote this song to try and provide closure for an event which occurred in my life. Three weeks ago, I kissed my best friend. I guess it would be more accurate to say he kissed me, but I kissed him back. I'm engaged to be married in two weeks to another man, and all I can think about is that kiss. I figure if I let my feelings out, maybe I'll be able to move on. This is how I felt that night, and this is where I'm going to try and leave behind those feelings, because I can't have them."
She strummed a small introduction and then began to sing.
"I can stand with the weight of the world
On my shoulders
I can fight with the toughest of the tough
I can laugh in the face
Of all my insecurities
Anytime, anywhere, anything
I'm strong enough
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love"
In the shadows towards the back of the pub a man sat absolutely fascinated by the woman singing on stage. The words she sang were beautiful, and he couldn't believe she had written them, and was there before him now, singing them. She shouldn't leave those feelings behind. Those were feelings that you only got to feel a few times, if you were lucky. Those feelings shouldn't be abandoned. They should be nurtured and cared for, so they might grow. He would have to convince her not to leave them behind. He had no idea how though.
"So let consequence do what it will to us
I don't care
Let the stars stand as witness to it all
Say the words and tonight I will follow you anywhere
I just can't pretend anymore
I'm too sturdy to fall
But when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love
I am not afraid
I am not afraid
'Cause when you're holding me like this
I'm carelessly lost in your touch
I'm completely defenseless
Baby, it's almost too much
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling...
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly
Falling in love"
By the end of the song Mac's voice had quieted, and there were tears streaming down her face. Her heart was an awful thing. It loved Harmon Rabb Jr., and there was nothing her head could do about it. The war between them was useless, and it hurt. Her heart would win. It was stronger than her head. She would always love Harmon Rabb Jr., weather he loved her back or not. She sighed and walked quickly off stage. She was so lost inside herself that she didn't hear the cheers of the audience, or feel him come up beside her and follow her out. It was only once she was outside in the warm night air, that she felt his presence.
She turned quickly to face him, and braced herself for the "I'm Not Ready Speech". She hated that speech. When would he be ready anyway? She sighed. The truth was that he might never be ready, but she would have to wait, because she might never be ready to love someone else.
"That was a gorgeous song, Mac."
Mac forced herself to look him in the eyes and was startled at the intensity she found in his gaze. She suddenly felt like an animal about to be devoured. She wrapped her arms around herself and broke eye contact in an effort to ward off the feeling. It didn't work.
Harm moved the hand on her arm up to her shoulder, and up her neck to cup her jaw. He then used his other hand to tuck a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear. Mac shivered involuntarily at the close contact, and tried desperately to cover it up.
"What are you doing here, Harm?"
"I came to watch the talented new artist playing here tonight."
Harm gave a small smile and began to stroke Mac's cheek with his thumb. Her skin was as soft as silk. Mac closed her eyes and tried to stop the electric sensation rushing through her body. Why did he have to have this effect on her?
Her eyes closed, Mac didn't notice the slight change in Harms gaze, or the way it moved it's focus from her eyes to her lips. She was shocked fully out of her thoughts though as she felt his lips, for the third time in her life, pressed against her own. It was just a quick brush of his lips over her own, but she could feel it all the way to her toes. God, if he could do that to her with just a light kiss...
All of Mac's good intentions flew out the window and she leaned up to deepen the kiss. Harm's hands slid down to hold her waist and her arms slowly wrapped around his neck, her fingers entwining in his hair. Harm's tongue traced her lips and she parted them slightly to let him in. God he tasted good. The kiss deepened, and it wasn't long before they were both completely caught up in the passion of it. Harm pulled her closer to him and groaned deep in his throat. Their tongues battled frantically and they parted quite reluctantly when the need for oxygen forced them to.
Mac's breathing was ragged and she was surprised to find Harm's just as uneven. She turned her head and buried her face in his neck, hoping to get out of explaining herself. Harm knew that this was a delaying tactic, but he figured that he had more explaining to do anyway, so he mine as well go first.
"Mac," he waited a moment for her to life her head and look at him. When she did, he continued. "Mac, I'm in love with you. I have been for years now. I love your smile. I love the way you light up whatever room you enter. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you know me better than anyone else. I love the way you tease me. I love the way you look at me when you think I've lost it. I love the way you save my six when I get into a pinch. I love the way you hold me when I cry. I love the fact that you let me hold you when you cry. I love the way you fight in and out of the courtroom. I love your unbelievable strength. And I love the way you let me see the person under the uniform. I love everything about you, and I'm not sure that I'll be ok if you leave me. You're my other half, and I've been living without it for far too long. I don't even want to think about dealing without it for the rest of my life."
Harm knew he probably sounded desperate, but he was. The woman he loved was going to marry another man. His soul mate was going to leave him. That would make any man a little desperate.
"Mac, you can't leave me. I'm sorry for all the things I've done. I'm sorry for ditching you when I had crazy ideas. I'm sorry for keeping secrets. I'm sorry for all the times I got you injured physically. But most of all, I'm sorry for pushing you away. I just wasn't ready yet in Sydney. I needed some time to myself. I thought that's what I was telling you, but it came out all wrong. I didn't mean to say that I didn't love you back, I was just trying to ask for a little time to sort things through. I'm sorry for not being clear. I do love you, and I did then. I just needed some time to think. Please tell me you aren't going to marry him. I need you Mac...I need you."
By this time tears were streaming down Mac's cheeks. Harm loved her. He loved her as much as she loved him. She had never felt so much joy. Harm didn't know they were tears of happiness though, and he was getting fairly worried.
"Say something, Mac. I just spilled my gut."
Mac smiled through her tears. So many years of waiting, and he had finally said it.
"I love you too, Harm."
A smile grew on Harm's face and he leaned down to kiss her. Mic and Renee would be taken care of, but for now, they would rejoice in the happiness they had found with each other.