Author's Note: Yeah, just a really small oneshot I decided to do because I was bored. Nothing else to say really other than the disclaimer. I don't own the Naruto anime…frankly if I did Kin wouldn't have been a tool of Orochimaru.
I cared for her…the one named Sakura Haruno…and yet I couldn't allow myself to let her get close to me. This pained me more than had I let on…more than anyone would ever know. She always called out and swooned as most girls did at the mere sight of me. Why didn't they realize they were doing nothing more than wasting their time? I cannot allow myself to feel…I am an avenger…that is all I am and that is all I can ever be.
Ever since the day Itachi murdered my family I've known nothing of true value but revenge. I've strived for it so desperately that many might consider me "insane" or a "monster". Those words come so easily to them, but do they ever stop to think of the pain that perpetually torments me deep inside my heart? Did they even care that I had no parents or any family to speak of? I had no living family to depend on…I only had myself. True enough my elder brother Itachi still lived but all emotions except malice, hate, and rage died for him the moment he took the rest of my family away from me.
Even though Sakura never realized it, before I met her I was lost, wandering desperately through the labyrinth of darkness that I'd been encased in. My body, heart, mind and soul weren't my own…they were Itachi's. When I saw the blood of my parents spill I knew that everything I was would forever be devoted to finding and killing Itachi. What a tragic paradox…I crave for a family I can rely on but when I think of my brother I desire nothing more than to end his life.
Sakura lifted me up from the darkness and enveloped my heart in the warmth of her purity. I cared so much for her…but I could never let anyone know. I knew that all that she was would keep me from sinking back into the sea of darkness and I loved her deeply for that but I couldn't allow her to be near me. I wouldn't allow myself to corrupt her innocence with my sick and twisted desire for revenge. She deserved so much better than that…so much better than me…or so I thought.
The moment she told me how she felt about Naruto Uzumaki, the only other boy in the village who truly knew the meaning of loneliness, my heart sunk. She didn't care for people like us. The emptiness and fear that filled the lives of those forced to live with true heartache were of no consequence to her. I lost my love for her on that day as I knew that she was just like all the others, she had no idea what people truly were, she merely cared about appearances and the shallowest parts of one's being.
Ever since then I felt loneliness yet again encompassing me. I knew that I could rely on Naruto and Kakashi for guidance and support, but only to the extent that suited their needs. They only cared enough to keep me in proper shape to guard them should the need arise. I've come to this realization ever since my battle with Haku where I was nothing more than a bodyguard to that twisted demon Naruto Uzumaki. Is this all I was? Someone whose life had no other meaning than fighting and killing? Is that all there was to my life…all that there could ever be?
I believed this to be fact until I met Orochimaru-sama. He understood people like me…he knew what it was to be dead inside. He promised me power…the power to kill Itachi…the only thing I had wanted in my entire life that hadn't revealed itself to be a hollow shell of what I originally perceived it to be. Orochimaru promised me that he'd stand by me no matter what…that he'd support me and love me like a father for who I am rather than what I can do. Orochimaru's kindness to me is the greatest gift I could've ever hoped for. Not only will I live for this wonderful man, I'll do anything he asks and die for him if I must. Now that he's granted me the power to kill Itachi he's finally given me the ability to serve my purpose in life. When my purpose is served I will have no more reason to live…other than Orochimaru. I lived my life as an avenger and I will go to my grave an avenger.
Author's Note: Yeah it's really short and rather unoriginal but I just felt like writing something. I would've wrote an additional chapter to my other fanfic but I didn't have the time to write something that expansive. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and will leave a review on your way out.