Disclaimer: Everything you recognise belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Sob, sob, cry, cry, and cry.

A/N: Just a little story that I cooked up at 12:11AM. Hot, I know. :)

I saw a spider, I didn't scream
'Cause I can belch the alphabet, just double dog dare me.

Oh for goodness' sakes.

I sat calmly in my chair and watched the "scary" spider scuttle harmlessly across the floor, right under my feet. The shrill screams that pierced the air as my partner Lauren and her friend Jessica scooted away from the "hideous creature" – as Lauren had described it – left a dull ringing in my ears.

"Someone, kill it!" Jessica sobbed.

That was enough for me. I stood up and walked over to the little bug, now scurrying its way towards the back of the classroom.

I raised my sneakered foot right above it and stamped the poor little guy into the disgusting blue and green carpet.

Sorry, buddy.

The whole room was quiet as I returned to my seat, barely acknowledging Mr Banner's lack of effort to calm the fretting girls down. Huffing, I plonked myself back into my uncomfortable plastic chair and muttered an exasperated, "Honestly…"

Mr Banner cleared his throat and said, "Well… yes. Let's get back to work, then, shall we?"

Pfft… Pansy.

I reopened the textbook I had slammed shut in my exasperation, and flipped quickly to the Post-It Note marked page that held all the information and resource pages for the assignment I would be doing alone on the effects of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. It was rather interesting disorder, affecting an individual's perception of size – hence the name "Alice in Wonderland Syndrome".

I was just about to notate a source that I could potentially use, when a sharp sting throbbed from the corner of my right eye. Fuckity-fuck-fuck. I pressed a finger to the source of the pain, and when I withdrew it, there was a small sliver of blood on my fingertip. A paper-cut? Really?

What the fuck gave me a paper-cut?

I scanned my table, and found a small piece of scrunched-up paper – lying smack-bang in the middle of the textbook – that had definitely not been present before.

How could I not have felt that hit me?

Shaking the thought, I picked up the dastardly paper and unfurled the wrinkled paper to reveal a scrawly script that could only belong to Emmett Cullen.

Chill, Bells… We boys know you don't like killing little bugs, but you did the right thing. I don't think any of us could've withstood another second of that screeching. Smiley face.

Idiot, he doesn't even draw a proper smiley face – just writes the words. I re-scrunched the paper and heard an extremely loud gasp from the other side of the room. I turned to see Emmett looking severely scandalised, eyes wide and looking at the paper in my hand.

I was confused for a couple of seconds before I realised… He was shocked that I'd scrunched up a note from him, the wonderful and magnificent Emmett Cullen the Third.

He wasn't really a "the Third", but he liked to pretend.

Like I said: Idiot.

I picked up my blue pen yet again, and almost as soon as I'd touched the tip to my paper, the bell rang, signalling the end of Period Four and the start of lunch.

I sighed heavily, just my luck.

Grimacing at Lauren, I scrambled all my stuff into a pile that would fit in my arms and looked around the classroom as I was leaving. All the boys had gone, yet again.

They did this every single lesson before lunch – escape as soon as possible, so that they could reach the cafeteria and fill their fat gobs with the most amount of food possible for a group of sixteen year old boys.

Huffing that they didn't wait for me, I exited the room carefully wriggled and graciously manoeuvred my way through the throng of students that flooded in from the classrooms and almost gave in to the temptation to do my special happy dance right there in the middle of the hallway when I finally got past the last classroom without tripping over. Almost.

I did, however, breathe a very happy sigh of relief and turned the corner that would lead to the massive double doors of the cafeteria. I shifted my books into the crook of my left elbow and used my hip and right hand to budge the door open, wincing as it squealed and groaned in protest.

Some random freshman walked in after me, and I figured that they could hold the door open by themself so I walked into the cafeteria, looking at my feet so there was no possibility of me stacking it like the big loser I am.

I knew exactly where our table was, even looking at my feet, and when I got there, I dumped by books with a loud thud, seated myself, looked up at the three amused faces of my best friends and said, "Fuck you. Every single one of you."

They glanced at me innocently for about… ten seconds, before I raised my eyebrow into an arch perfected at the age of ten and they burst into several rounds of raucous laughter.

Once I'd hit them enough to get them to stop, I reiterated. "Seriously, you guys know that I fall over all the time, and yet you insist on leaving me alone to walk in a crowded corridor where I could quite possibly trip over a stray foot…"

I stared at each of them and could tell they were all trying to hold in their laughter. I gave in. "Oh, for goodness' sakes, just laugh."

That set them off, big time. It took five or six minutes for them to quieten down to random after-chuckles.

I glowered.

They smiled.

Emmett broke the silence. "Can we please get some food? A boy like me needs sustenance, people."

I nodded and we all stood up and got into the line – there was only three people in front of us this time. Score.

I tried to look over Emmett's shoulder so that I could get a good look at what I wanted, but I knew that it was an epic fail, so I gave up.

Emmett McCarty was the biggest sixteen-year-old I'd ever known – including that Jacob kid from the Rez. His muscular frame dominated almost all places, and every time I spoke to him, I felt like I'd have to either break my neck, or stand on a chair. Yeah, he was that tall.

His curly black hair bounced with every step he took and I could never resist tugging on one curl, just to see it bounce. The stark difference between Emmett and the second quarter of our quartet, Jasper Whitlock, was frightening.

Jasper had naturally blonde hair, and when I say blonde, I mean blonde-to-the-point-where-it-borders-on-platinum. He had the same blue eyes as Emmett, but they were bigger and his hair – which was longer than either of the other two boys – framed them or made them even larger than normal. He was lean and wiry, and the shortest of the three.

Now, Edward – insert dreamy sigh here – was the happiest medium of all… even though he was totally different to both Jasper and Emmett. Edward had the most startling green eyes that were ever made, I swear. They glistened constantly, and always contained that little twinkle I only ever thought existed in heinously corny Disney movies. His hair – oh, his hair – was an intriguing shade of bronze, that when placed under natural sunlight, glinted with hues of red, brown and gold.

He was perfectly placed height-wise, not as short as Jasper and not as tall as Emmett. The top of my head fit perfectly under his chin.

"Emmett!" When the big oaf turned around, I asked, "What've they got today?"

"What have they got that you would like, you mean?"

When I impatiently nodded yes, he looked back at the trays underneath the glass. "Um, pepperoni pizza… Fettuccine Carbonara… Coca-Cola…"

Oooh, Fettuccine Carbonara. My favourite.

When I reached the lunch lady's position, I motioned towards the pasta and grabbed a Coke for myself.

Turning around, I accidently slammed into someone. "Oops, sorry."

"No worries, Bella. Hey, do you mind if Rose and I sit with you today?"

Ah, Alice Brandon. The most beautiful soul that ever existed, I'm telling you. She was short, just shy of 5", but she was bright and endearing and Jasper had the biggest crush on her. Not even kidding.

Her short-cut hair stuck up in all directions from her incessant bouncing, and her eyes were almost purple. A lot of the time, she was called or described as a pixie, but I liked to think she was more like a wood nymph, or something… She tended to gravitate towards outside areas, and dressed in flowy dresses in earthen tones and stuff. I don't know how I even knew that, I wasn't an expert on fashion – that was Rosalie Hale's area of expertise.

Rosalie Hale was a dream girl - beautiful, round, blue eyes; golden, wavy, hip length hair; fantastic body and legs for days. She was currently very close to receiving an internship at the only fashion magazine in Forks – and it wasn't even in Forks, it was in Port Angeles – but right on the border. You could show her an item of designer clothing and she could rattle off in an instant the designer, fabrics it was made from, the date of release into stores and everything else imaginable.

She also was harbouring a little attraction towards Mister McCarty, but only Alice and I knew that.

I happened to think I paled in comparison to the beautiful people I hung around with, but that was my opinion. I'm taller than Alice, but shorter than Rosalie, with brown eyes that showed too much emotion for my liking and dominated my heart-shaped face. My brown hair was rather unco-operative and so was generally left hanging down my shoulders and framing my face, and more often than not would end up in a loose bun on top of my head at the end of the day.

"Of course not, Alice – you sit with us almost every day; you don't need to ask anymore!" I laughed.

She laughed and nodded before taking her place in the line. I walked back over to my table, narrowly avoiding a verbal and, no doubt, emotional scrape with Jessica, Lauren and their newest addition, Tanya Denali. That girl was one nasty piece of work. Her sisters were totally different: nice, polite, charming.

Not her. She was vile, loathsome and downright… she was just bad. Anyway.

I lifted the tray of food above my head and squeezed through the tables and pulled out chairs before reaching our table again. After I set my food down, I said, "Shmalice and Rose are sitting with us today." I'd taken to called Alice by that ridiculous nickname three days after I met her in our sophomore year.

I almost laughed as Jasper's ears went pink and a cute blush rose to his cheeks. You know, the urge to pinch someone's cheeks can be almost too much…

I shoved a forkful of pasta into my mouth to stop myself from giggling at his embarrassment and turned to face Emmett, whose cheeks were bulging with the copious amount of pepperoni pizza that he could fit into his mouth.

I shook my head and laughed. He really was an idiot…

Emmett took a large gulp and swallowed the masticated food, before asking, "Hey, Bella? Before the girls get here, can you belch the alphabet? It makes me laugh." He wistfully sighed at the end and placed his face in his palm.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Okay… no."

"Yay!" He hoorayed. "Wait, what? Why not?"

"I really don't feel like it today, Em…"

"So, nothing – nothing – could make you do it?"

I shook my head.

"Not even a dare?"

He wouldn't. Our group took dares very seriously, and it was not received well by any members of the group if one of us refused.

I gaped openly at him. "No…" It came out as a breathy whimper.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I dare – no, double dare you to belch the alphabet. Right here, right now."

"I hate you, Emmett Raymond McCarty." He flinched – he'd never really liked his middle name. "Okay, hold on." I cracked open my Coke and took a large gulp of the fizzy liquid. Standing up, I ran around in a few circles and jumped up and down on the spot a few times.

Shaking my hands, which were placed firmly by my side, in preparation, I took a deep breath and…

"A…B…C…D…E…F…G…H…I…J…K…L…M…N…O…P…Q…R…S…T…U…V…W…X…Y…Z!" I finished with a flourish and a bow.

Emmett giggled and laughed like a schoolgirl… a manly schoolgirl.

Jasper and Edward chuckled, until Alice and Rose came over to the table. Jasper's ears went pink once more and he slunk a little in his seat – and I'm pretty sure from my angle, I could see him wiping sweaty hands on his jean legs.

I plopped back down in my seat and received a hearty clap on the back from Emmett. Bad mistake, sitting next to that boy, I tell you.

Alice looked at me. "Bella, please tell me that that hideous belching sound was not coming from such a delicate, feminine being like you…" She clearly knew it was. She had that look that said, Don't you lie to me. I was right there. I know.

I laughed nervously. "Nope, not me at all."

Rose piped up from her seat in between Emmett and Edward. "Liar."

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