By Diane Klepper (Author's Note: Tom's brig time brings back memories of his time at the Penal colony. Set after Thirty Days.)
Tom sat in the mess hall staring out the window. It was late and the mess hall was deserted. Most of the crew that wasn't on duty were either relaxing or asleep. Fifty-five minutes ago when Neelix left, Tom promised him that he would turn out the lights. Neelix offered to keep him company but Tom just smiled at him and said that he just was going to finish his coffee and then head to bed. The half a cup of coffee that sat in front of him on the table was cold, but Tom didn't care. Since he had gotten out of the brig he didn't feel comfortable alone in a small room. That was why he was in the mess hall instead of his cabin. He had been out of the brig for ten days and B'Elanna had been great about staying with him, but tonight she was working and the thought of facing his empty cabin was too scary to think about.
Tom watched the stars flew by him at a steady pace. He didn't need to check the daily schedule to know that Ensign Calhoun was at the comm. Tom could always tell who was flying the ship by the feel of the ship under his feet. Harry always thought he was pulling his leg when he said that, but it was true…every pilot had a special relationship with the ship… Ensign Calhoun tended to fly slow and steady while Bateheart tended to fly a little faster with a few more bumps.
Tom took another sip of his coffee and almost choked on the cold liquid. He walked over to the replicator and put his cup on the tray. He pressed the button and watched the cup disappear. He was about to order another cup with he heard the mess door open. He was surprised to see Captain Janeway walk in. She was still dressed in her uniform. She walked over to him and gave a slight smile, "Mr. Paris…you know you have the early shift tomorrow."
"Yes…ma'am…I just was on my way to bed."
Janeway frowned, "Were you really…I know you have been having problems sleeping lately."
Angrily Tom said, "What did B'Elanna tell you?"
Kathryn gave a slight smile to lessen her words, "She told me that you have been having problems sleeping lately and that she is worried about you."
"I'll be fine."
"Tom I know you haven't been sleeping well since you got out of the brig…I feel responsible."
Tom gave out a sigh, "Captain…I know you had to punish me…I don't blame you…I just have been having some bad dreams lately about Auckland."
"Is that why you are in the mess hall instead of your cabin?"
Tom gave a little smirk. "It's just hard for me to sleep alone…when B'Elanna is there the nightmares don't seem as bad…It's just tonight is the first night that B'Elanna hasn't been with me since I got out of the brig."
Kathryn looked at Tom and frowned. She should have realized that his prison memories would resurface after being in the brig for thirty days. Part of her regretted that she put him the brig. She knew that she could of just demoted him but she knew that she had to be really hard on him to make sure he could reach his potential…Even with his not so shiny past Kathryn Janeway saw potential in Tom to become a first officer or a Captain…and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure Tom reached his full potential even though sometimes she knew she would have to keep him on a tight leash.
Kathryn gave Tom a slight smile, "Maybe the doctor can give you something to help you sleep."
Tom sighed, "No thanks Captain…in the penal colony the doctor gave me sedatives and it messed with my head…it made me more vulnerable…"
"Vulnerable for what?"
"Captain I'd rather not talk about it."
"No Tom…that is not an option."
Tom looked up in shock, "Captain…"
"No Tom…you have kept your memories hidden for too long…I know you had counseling in New Zealand…but I think you really need to talk to someone now…It is required for released prisoners to have monthly counseling sessions for up to seven years…If my Math is correct you missed your last 54 counseling sessions."
"Captain…there are no Starfleet counselors on Voyager."
"I know that…but I'm ordering you to talk to someone."
"Captain…I'm fine."
Sensing that he might bolt, Janeway put a reassuring hand on his right shoulder. "Tom no your not…you can talk to Chakotay or Tuvok or maybe the doctor…He has come a long way since he was first activated."
Tom frowned, "Captain…the stuff that happened to me there are things I would like to forget."
"Tom you are not giving me much of a choice…the memories are affecting your sleep and I'm not going to let you fly unless you are at peak efficiency…maybe you can talk to me."
Tom nodded, "Okay…if I don't have any choice."
Janeway gave a small smile, " No you don't mister…so start talking."
"I guess it started the first night I was in Auckland…"
Tom Paris sat on his bunk in his cell. He was scared but he heard his father's voice saying, "Thomas you have made mistakes…you have to live with them and take your punishment like a man."
He looked at his prison coveralls and gave a little smirk. Gray was never my color. But at least I won't have to worry about putting my clothes in the refresher for the next eighteen months. The penal colony will take care of that for me.
He looked at the padd next to him on his bunk. The guard who processed him gave him all the rules and regulations. He said, "Paris follow all the rules and your stay with us won't be that bad," and left Tom alone in his cell.
Tom knew he was suppose to report to the mess hall for dinner but he wasn't hungry and he wasn't ready to face the entire population of the penal colony. He looked at the bunk across and wondered who his new roommate was.
Tom picked up the padd and started reading it until he heard some footsteps. He looked up and saw two men entered his prison cell. They were both humans. The first one was tall and muscular. He had black hair and a mustache. He turned to the man next to him who had red hair and was about four inches shorter than him, "Hey O'Malley…you have a famous roommate." O'Malley turned to the other man and said, "Who is he Jennings?"
Jennings frowned at his friend, "Don't the ever watch the news vids…That's Tom Paris…He's an Admiral's kid that was kicked out of Starfleet for lying about an accident."
O'Malley asked, "If he got kicked out of Starfleet …what is he doing here?"
"He was flying for the Maquis and he got caught on his first mission."
O'Malley turned to Tom and asked, "Is that true?"
Tom just frowned, "Yeah…it's true."
O'Malley looked at Paris and frowned, "No offence Paris…I'm just a smuggler but this penal colony has a lot of ex-Maquis and ex-fleet in here…I just don't want to get hit in the crossfire."
Jennings laughed, "Yeah Paris between your past record and being an Admiral's brat you're a walking target." Jennings turned to O'Malley, "Come on …Let's see the warden…My roommate just got out yesterday so there is an empty bunk there…You can move in with me…It will be much safer."
O'Malley headed for the door but before he left he said, "Good luck Paris…you'll need it."
Tom was asleep on his bunk when he felt someone grab his arms. He opened his eyes and was about to say something when he felt a piece of cloth stuffed into his mouth. Tom tried to yell but the cloth in his mouth muffled his voice. He tried to pull away from the strong arms holding him down onto his bunk but he couldn't budge. He tried to kick out with his legs but someone else was holding down his legs.
Tom looked up and saw a face with a cruel smirk on his face. The man had lightly tanned skin. He was tall and muscular with black hair and a small scar on his right cheek. "Hello Paris…We are the welcoming committee."
Tom struggled to get free but the two men who were holding down his arms and legs were two strong for him.
The dark haired man laughed, "Tommy boy stop struggling…You'll only end up hurting yourself…We just want to say hello." The man then rammed his fists into Tom's stomach repeatedly. Tom screamed into his gag and then after the fourth hit sagged back onto his bunk.
The man laughed again, "Tommy boy…We Maquis don't like traitors and we don't like Admiral's brats." He rammed his fists into Tom stomach two more times. He then picked up Tom's chin and said, "Paris if you tell anyone about our little visit…next time it will be a lot worse." He rammed his fists into Tom's stomach again and smiled, "And if you think the guards here will protect you are just kidding yourself….We run this prison so if you want to survive your sentence you will keep your mouth shut….but don't worry we will visit again soon." He turned to the two men who was holding Tom down and smiled, "Come on boys…I think we welcomed Paris enough don't you agree."
All three of them laughed and headed out the door.
Tom waited a few minutes to make sure they were gone and then he took the gag out of his mouth and slowly sat up holding his stomach with his right hand. He slowly sat up and walked over to his small bathroom where he just made it to the toilet before he threw up. He sat down on the cold bathroom floor still holding his stomach knowing that the beating he took left him with a cracked rib and a lot of bruises. Damn it, he thought, How the hell am I going to work in the prison mechanical shop like this. Tom closed his eyes and hoped a little bit of rest would make him feel batter.
A blaring siren awoke Tom from his sleep. Damn it, Tom thought. He was only planning on closing his eyes for a few minutes until the pain in his stomach lessened, but he must of fallen asleep on the bathroom floor. He slowing stood up holding onto the wall for support and made it to the front of his cell. His cell door was open and two guards were leading the prisoners towards the mess hall. The taller guard whose name was Martinez said, "Move it Paris…you don't want to be late for your first duty shift."
Tom nodded and left his cell following the other prisoners. Ten minutes later Tom was on line to get his breakfast, which consisted of eggs, toast and coffee. He made his way to an empty table in the back of the mess hall. Most of the other prisoners ignored him and Tom was grateful because he had a few minutes to himself to gather his thoughts before he had to go to work. He looked up a minute from his breakfast and noticed that the man who beat him last night was looking at him from a table across the room and smiled at him. Tom cringed and went back to his breakfast. Tom ate about half his breakfast but he couldn't eat any more because his stomach hurt too much. Tom slowly stood up and picked up his tray. He put the rest of his meal in the recycler and was about to go back to his table when the siren roared to tell the inmates it was time to go to their assignments. Tom followed the line of inmates out the mess hall and he headed for the vehicle workshop where he was assigned.
Three hours into his shift Tom cringed as he picked up an engine to do repairs on it. The other three men assigned to the workshop were working on a shuttle on the other side on the shed and they pretty much ignored him. The guard whose was assigned to watch the vehicle shed was staring at him. Tom found out that his name was Murphy and he seemed to pretty much let the prisoners do their work in peace as long as they stayed busy.
Murphy walked to him and frowned, "Hey Paris…you okay?"
Tom nodded and continued to work on the engine.
Murphy looked him up and down. "If you're fine why are you moving like you are in pain?"
Tom gave a little smirk, " I just didn't get a good night's sleep."
Murphy who had worked at several Federation penal colonies for the last twenty years knew when someone was lying, "Open up your shirt?"
"What?"
Murphy frowned, "Paris…open up your shirt now or I get help and I'll have that shirt ripped off your body."
Knowing he didn't have a choice Tom opened up the buttons on his coveralls top.
The guard looked at the bruises on Tom's chest and frowned, "How did that happen?"
"I fell out of bed this morning."
The guard smirked, "Yeah Paris…it look like you fell into someone's fists." He pressed the comm.-badge on his uniform. "This is Murphy in the vehicle shed…I need someone to escort Paris to the Warden's office."
A voice over the comm. said, "Paris…he hasn't even been here twenty-four hours…What has he done?"
Murphy answered, "He's been in a fight."
The voice said, "The warden won't like that…I'll be there in five minutes."
"Right…I'll see you then." Murphy shut off his comm.-badge and turned to Paris. "Paris…you better tell the warden what he wants to hear or you going to spend the next three days in solitary confinement."
Fifteen minutes Tom was standing at attention in front of the Warden's desk. His hands were cuffed behind his back. A guard by the name of Flanders was standing by his side.
A minute later a back door opened and the warden came in. He was a bulky dark skinned man who had gray hair and a thick mustache. He looked at Tom and then he turned to the guard. "Mr. Flanders can you wait outside a few minutes." Flanders nodded and excited the door through the main entrance.
"Paris my name is Warden Michaels….I know you just came here yesterday but I'm sure you have gotten a copy of the rules."
Quietly Tom said, "Yes sir."
"The rules here is that any inmate who gets involved in a fight gets three days in solitary confinement."
Tom frowned, "Warden…I was attacked in my cell."
Warden nodded, "That doesn't surprise me….Can you tell me who did it?"
Unable to look the Warden in the eye Tom stared at the floor. "It was dark…I could see who did it."
Michaels walked up to him, "Tom…I read your records…You were once a promising Starfleet officer…I was in Starfleet for twenty years before I took this job at the penal colony… I know what it takes to go through the Academy… Starfleet gave up on you but I know Starfleet isn't always right…You are here for the next eighteen months but you stay here can be pleasant if you are more cooperative…in fact with a good recommendation from me maybe you can get a decent job when you get out…I think I know who attacked you but I need proof…If you tell me who attacked you I can reduce you punishment to one day in solitary."
"I told you I didn't see who did it."
Michaels frowned, "Tom if your not cooperative I can't guarantee you safety."
Angrily Tom said, "Look Warden Michaels…I have to live with these people for the next eighteen months…Your guards can't watch me all the time…I think the best thing I can do for my safety is to keep quiet."
Michaels pressed a buzzer on his desk and a minute later Flanders walked in. Michaels said, "Mr. Flanders please escort Paris to the infirmary to take care of his injuries and then to solitary confinement."
Tom tried to keep the fear out of his eyes as the guard escorted him to the prison infirmary.
Tom tried to wash away the memories of Auckland and found himself sitting in the mess-hall next to Captain Janeway. Tom looked in the eyes of his Captain and grimaced when he saw sorrow in her eyes. "Captain that was a long time away."
Kathryn Janeway nodded. "How many times did you end up in solitary confinement?"
"Four times…the main doctor with this by the book old time doctor named Banning. He use to just patch me up and gave me a sedative. About four months into my sentence Dr. Banning retired and I made a deal a deal with the new prison doctor." Tom smiled at the memory, "She a young doctor right out a medical school named Sarah Millford…she was very young and idealistic." Tom smirked, "Like Harry was when he first came aboard Voyager."
Janeway smiled, "I know the type."
"We made a deal…if I worked three days a week in the infirmary she would patch up my injuries and not report it to the Warden…she was very sweet but also very tough…I've seen her take down 300 pound inmates with a few karate moves." Tom gave a little smirk, "Sarah said I reminded her of her little brother Billy who was a good kid but he always got in trouble because he hung out with the wrong crowd…I could never lie to Sarah…she always seemed to see right though me think…. Kes reminded me of Sarah…that is why I had a crush on her our first year in the Delta Quadrant."
Janeway smiled. "I assume that crush had something with you and Neelix arriving in my ready room covered in hair pasta."
Tom laughed, "It did…but fortunately Neelix and I reached an understanding…I knew Kes only had eyes for him." Tom frowned, "I miss Kes."
Janeway smiled, "I do too…I just hope that wherever Kes is that she is happy."
Tom nodded, "I do too." Tom smiled at his Captain and said, "Captain you know the biggest difference from being in the brig now in now and being in New Zealand is?"
"No Tom….what is the difference?"
Tom smiled. "When I was in New Zealand I knew I deserved to be there…I joined the Maquis for the money…I never believed in the cause like B'Elanna and Chakotay did…I had no money and a lot of debts….I couldn't get a piloting job….I couldn't get any job….my image was on the new reports for months….its not everyday a Admiral's son gets kicked out of Starfleet."
Kathyrn Janeway grabbed Tom's right hand, "Tom you made mistakes…but you paid your debts "
Tom smirked, "I know…but Captain when I was in the brig for trying to stop the Moneans from destroying their water home I didn't do it for selfish reasons…I did it help save a world."
Janeway smiled at him, "Tom I know your heart was in the right place but you know that Starfleet has protocols that has to be followed….you disobeyed my direct orders and you had to be punished ….I'm just sorry that your stay in the brig bought back some bad memories."
Tom smiled, "I know…but it helped knowing that I had people who cared about me waiting for me when I got out…You know I wrote a letter to me father when I was in the brig. I was trying to explain to him how I ended up in the brig."
Janeway look surprised, "You did?"
"Yeah…I told that to Harry that I was just going to delete the letter…Harry mentioned that my father complained that I never completed anything so I finished the letter." Tom frowned, "Like it really matters…if ever got the letter he probably wouldn't read it."
Janeway smiled at Tom and squeezed his right hand. "Your wrong…he would read it and even though he wouldn't appreciate your methods he would be proud that you tried to make a difference."
Tom smiled at Janeway and nodded. "Thank you Captain….you are a good listener." Tom yawned, "I think I'll go to bed…all of a sudden my quarters don't seem so small."
Janeway dropped Tom's hand and stood up. She placed her right hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad….I'll see you on the bridge in the morning."
Tom smiled. "Yes ma'am."
Janeway walked towards the mess- hall and smiled, "Tom if you need anyone to talk to my door is always open…Goodnight Mr. Paris."
Tom smiled, "Goodnight, Captain."
Tom watched the Captain leave the mess hall. He was about to stand up when he comm badge beeped. He pressed his badge and said, "Paris."
B'Elanna's voice came through the comm. "Tom I have a couple of hours of more work in engineering. Are you okay?"
Tom smiled, "I'm fine….I'm going to bed….I'll meet you for breakfast before my shift."
B'Elanna's voice answered, "I'll see you then. Goodnight."
Tom stood up and walked out a mess hall. He knew his prison memories would always be with him but he knew he could live with them as long as he had his Voyager family with him to give him the love and support he needed.