A/N: This is my first fanfic in around 5 years. I hope you'll like it. I also apologize for any grammatical errors, English is not my native tongue. If you see any, feel free to contact me and I'll fix it!
The first time he saw her cry was on the monorail, after they'd beaten the shadow, and she'd thrown herself at the brakes in order to save their lives.
That was also the first, and only time, she'd openly admitted that she'd been scared.
He'd panicked at the sight of her tears, and started fumbling around with his handkerchief, causing her to laugh instead.
Later he realised that during that moment, she'd let all her constraints go, and that it was rare for that to happen. It was rare for her to let anyone truly know how she felt.
Sometimes he wondered if it would've been easier for her to show her true feelings if she hadn't been thrust into leadership.
The second time he didn't actually see her cry. He heard her one night when going to the bathroom. It was a few days after they'd beaten the shadows in the hotel. He'd been especially rude to her that day, and when he heard her cry like that he felt a prang of guilt.
He hadn't been sure on to handle it though, so he'd just ignored it, being unable to bring himself to apologize.
He still felt guilty about that.
Third time he saw her cry was the night Shinjiro got shot. He found her on the roof, sitting by the edge, looking out over the city.
Seeing her that upset while being that close to the edge of the roof had scared him.
He'd pulled her away from it before she'd even noticed that he was there.
First she'd been hesitant about him seeing her like that, but eventually she'd accepted it.
He held her tight until her tears stopped.
That night she cried so much into his shirt, it broke is heart.
Later, he figured out that every time she felt sad or upset, she went to the roof.
Akihiko told him that she'd summoned her persona for the first time while being on that roof.
Perhaps that was why she felt drawn there.
He started going to the roof every night before bed, just to check.
Making sure she weren't there.
He hated her tears.
By now, he'd lost count on how many times he'd seen her cry.
But he still hated it.
He hated how powerless it made him feel.
He hated how much it made his chest ache.
But most of all.
He hated Ryoji for making her cry like that.
He hadn't seen her smile like that for so long.
Rosy cheeks, stars in her eyes, and the most genuine smile he'd ever seen.
He hated how it made him feel.
Jealous that he, her best friend, couldn't make her smile like that.
Angry, for the same reason.
Akihiko had no right to make her smile like that, when he himself couldn't.
This time, she didn't cry.
She smiled, an almost serene smile.
He clutched his fists at his sides.
She had no right.
No right to smile like that.
It almost felt like her smile taunted him.
He saw how Akihiko's shoulders shake as he held her tighter in his arms, hiding his face at her shoulder.
How Yukari hid her face in her hands, shaking violently.
How Fuuka trembled slightly behind her, pressing her hand against her mouth, eyes wide.
How Mitsuru bit her lower lip as she lowered her head.
He felt tears run down his face.
She had no right to smile like that.
Not when everyone else had no reason to smile anymore.