Teh Brewtal's Worst Day

Chapter One: The Mystery Stealth Soldier

Oz arrived at his English class late into the afternoon.

"Sorry, I was late teacher…I had to mod some maps!" Oz proclaimed

"It's all right, take a seat Oz" Teacher replied " As I was saying, we will be starting the first act of MacBeth today" Oz was excited because he had just modded 3 maps of relic, but this Macbeth exclaimation made him cream himself. He quivered with anticipation at the thought of actually reading about Macbeth, for he was his lifetime hero.

Oz knew everything about Macbeth, and yet he had never read the play himself. As the reading began Oz soaked in every word. The time came when the teacher asked a question, and Oz's hand shot up in the air with confidence.

"That means Macbeth is a stealth soldier!" He exclaimed proudly, for he knew the answer the whole time. The class just turned silent.

"…Macbeth is NOT a stealth soldier." The Teacher proclaimed, clearly very disappointed in Oz's stupidity.

"LOL" Exclaimed J.C. "Oh my fucking god, that was so god damn fucking

lame." J.C.'s comment really stung Oz, for his favourite site had just been invaded by the legendary E-Thug "Chicken Master" and he lacked the mental fortitude to just leave the matter alone. So he and his e-pal Nigey went to the police for more help on finding the culprit.

The next day in Oz's Communication Technology class, Oz went up to JC in his class and said "Do you guys know who is?"

"Fuck no. What the fuck are you doing here? Get the fuck away from me motherfucker. Go listen to some Linkin Park you gay fag fuck."

After Oz had pulled on the back of J.C.'s chair like a passive aggressive faggot, he took JC's suggestion into consideration and decided that he would listen to some Linkin Park when he got home.

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaawwllllliiiinnnggggg iiiiinnnnnn mmyyyyyyy skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesseee woouuuuuunnnndddssss tttthhhhheeeeyyyyyyy wiiiiiiiiiiiillllll nnoooooottttttttt heeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllll"

After Oz had finished jacking off to pictures of a Blue Master Chief fucking a Red Master Chief (link) , he came up with his most brilliant plan yet! "It's so simple!" he thought "All I have to do is kill everyone that made fun of me at school!"

End Of Chapter

Chapter Two: Bowling for Ozumbine

Oz had prepared himself for this day by playing 18 hours of Halo in a row and listening to 50 Cent's song "Heat" but only the instrumentals. He went on the internet and posted his last message on With sorrow he said "I em so sory guys, I canot control wat is happening to me. I giv nigey all my halo skills lol ). I juts canot beleve macbeth is not a stelth soldier. I will show them the meaning of "Teh Brewtal" today (lol, woot). PS: plz mod maps for me when u r able two lol.

With that he was finally prepared, full of confidence that his E-Friends would be sad (they wouldn't be) at his death, he could rest in peace. At long last he came to the front door of the school.

He made a quick break to his Communication Technology class while putting on his sunglasses to go with his trenchcoat. As he entered the teacher said "Oooookayyyy Oz, stop being late for cla-" at this moment Oz pulled out his shotgun and shot the teacher through the head. He turned to his next target J.C. who said "Holy fucking shit, hes got a fucking gun! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NIGGAZ!" Oz was quivering with excitement at the thought of killing J.C. whom was his prime tormenter, but J.C. moved with the speed of Macbeth, whom Oz knew was the ultimate stealth soldier. J.C. grabbed the gun out of Oz's trembling hand and said "Oh shit nigga! What the fuck you gon do now bitch?!" to which Oz replied "If I had only modded that gun…" As J.C. prepared to pull the trigger Oz screamed "I whistled for a shuttle and when it came near the license plate said "H4L0" and it had guns in the mirror!" This caused J.C. to LOL and he lost control of the gun. J.C. yelled "OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS THE GAYEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER FUCKING HEARD LOLOLOLOL"

This enraged Oz, for he thought it to be the coolest shit ever. During all this commotion with J.C. the other members of his Communication Technology class had thrown a chair through the window and had peaced it the fuck out. He shot at them but of course missed. Oz didn't care though, as J.C. was his primary target. He raised his shotgun to J.C.'s head and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

"What?! WHAT COULD HAVE GONE WRONG WITH MY PERFECT PLAN?!" Oz screamed "MASTER CHIEF!!! WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME?!"

"LOL" laughed J.C. "Didn't you fucking think to bring a fucking gun that holds more than two mawfucking bullets you fucking queer?" J.C. laughed more when he pushed Oz down to the floor. Oz began to weep. Oz thought "Next time I'm around him…I'll…I'll…I'll unplug his monitor!" This was of course the perfect plan, for nothing is worse than having your monitor unplugged and the inconvenience of plugging it back in. The police came and arrested Oz, but he was acquitted of all charges, because nobody gave a fuck about the faggot teacher.

"Next time…I'll get him. I'LL GET YOU J.C.!!!!" screamed Oz as he got killed for the 3x1012 time in Halo.

Fin