Not Like You
by CrystalHorse72
A/N: This is a bit of a song fic... if you have Trik Turner's song Not Like You', listen to it while you read and that will truly bring out the entire extent of this angst.
Hermione stared at the boy in front of her, shaking horribly, her lip trembling as the tears that hadn't stopped for days ran down her face. In front of her, he lay on the stone table. In a short while, he would be placed in a coffin and burried.
The young girl, only several years graduated, looked down into his eyes and had to bite her lip to keep from gasping. Those eyes... so cold and lifeless. He was staring straight through her. Inside those dull, grey eyes that had once shined with an eternal light, she could see no reflection. His gaze bore deep inside her, tearing her soul even farther. It was like a horrible wound, infected with the pain of his loss, an infection she would soon be forced to stich herself.
Through the clouds, sunlight poured down through the windows, turning the pale light grey. As she stared into his grey eyes, it felt almost like the grey sunshine was burning straight through her skin. Grey was all he had now... inside, he was empty.
Slowly, her eyes gazed across him. She bit her lip as even more tears fell, gazing at his horrible state. His fingernails were cracked and bloody. Hermione tried to escape the crimson, but her eyes only rested back on his lifeless, grey ones. She knew now... it was time to walk away. And she turned from him, leaving him behind at a run, her eyes clamped shut as tears danced away from them the way his memories danced across her mind.
she stopped and looked up, only to meet green eyes filled with unusual pain. How are you doing??
It's been a long time... Hermione sighed, looking up at him. I remember days when I was much better, but thank you... her eyes seemed to shrink so that only tears were visible. Few seem to care now. The day fades fast... the day that will be tomorrow's yesterday... faster than gives way... she hung her head again. I've been better, yet I thank you. I'm just... not like you.
What do you mean?? the boy asked.
Harry... I can't hold my head high anymore... I'm not like you!! I don't have the many supporters to get me through this like you do!! I'm just... me... and it isn't enough for them. I'm... not like you, she hung her head again, wringing her hands. Harry sighed softly and pulled her into a hug as she began sobbing into his shoulder. After a while, she pulled back.
Where is... Harry cut her off, knowing who she was asking for.
He is coming shortly. He wouldn't leave us alone to brave this day, Harry replied.
Yes... that's what I love about our friendship. It's always wonderful to have more than one best friend... always one more to be there for you, then, her eyes filled with tears again, yet she barely even noticed anymore.
~*~
Hermione peered through the windows of the church. She saw his family crowded around the table as they lowered him into his coffin... She tried to see him, even though she knew it wasn't of any use. She hadn't slept in two days... her body didn't take that well. Just then, as she often found herself doing often, she wished she were him, dead in his place.
She looked down at a small book in her hand. It was one that Harry had given her as a present not long before. On the cover, she saw a picture of them all... and he was laughing. She opened it further and flipped through the pictures, all of him smiling. It made her want to die.
Then, she opened the other book, one she had many times before now. It was his diary, given to her by his parents. She read it again... his secrets were dead now. Sadly, she traced her fingers over where he had signed his name... the ink seemed so red.
The bells began to chime that black Sunday's song and Hermione found herself clutching a cross around her neck, trying to remember him... praying for him.
Until I die, our love won't, eyes brimming again with tears, she spoke to the sky. I always told myself that I'd tell you tomorrow... that there would be one more day to tell you. But I waited one day too long.
she turned around, her hair plastered to her face and neck from the moisture. Her eyes brightened slightly at the sight of her only other, old friend. You been holding up??
I've definately had better days... but thank you, she replied. I wish I was like you... she glanced to the right of her, Like you and Harry... people to support you and to help you through. He was my support, and I let myself drift from you two. Now, you still have someone while I have no one. I'm not like you...
He walked forward and pulled Hermione into a hug.
Hermione... Harry and I will always be there to protect and support you!! he told her. Hermione nodded softly and then stood back to stare up into his blue eyes.
Oh god, I miss him!! then, as the priest's voice rang out, both turned to face him and listen.
I welcome you all, he began as Harry appeared next to the two friends and put his arm around Hermione as she tried to fight back sobs, We are gathered here today to remember and honor a young boy's death, a sob escaped Hermione's lips, making both Harry and Draco move closer to her as she began to cry again.
He will forever be in our hearts... Ronald Weasley.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not Like You - Trik Turner
You look straight through me,
I see no reflection.
You cut deep inside of me,
I stitch my own infection.
Grey is the sunshine that burns my skin.
Grey is your rush, I think your empty within.
Fingernails cracked, dried blood flows slow,
In this world it's time to walk away.
Hey old friend,
It's been a long time.
I've been better,
But thank you.
Tomorrows yesterdays fades,
Faster, then gives way,
I've been better,
But thank you.
I know that I'm not like you.
Because I'm not like you.
I know that I'm not like you.
Look in through windows,
Trying to see you.
Haven't slept in two days,
I wanna be you.
Looking at pictures,
I see you smiling.
You look so happy,
And I feel like dying.
I read your diary,
Your secrets now dead.
I cut your name deep,
The ink is so red.
A black Sunday song,
As I clutch a cross.
Until I die,
Our love is never lost.
Hey old friend,
It's been a long time.
I've been better,
But thank you.
Tomorrows yesterdays fades,
Faster, then gives way,
I've been better,
But thank you.
I know that I'm not like you.
Because I'm not like you.
I know that I'm not like you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really, REALLY tried to finally write a good piece of angst... did I succeed?? I also tried to lead you away from believing it was Ron ^_^... but you probably figured it out. Please review and tell me if I'm good at angst or if I should give that genre up.