A/N: Hey:) I haven't written since April, I believe... that is because I'm working on a long story. I decided to take a break from that and write this. It is my first songfic, so I hope you enjoy. The lyrics are in italics and in parenthesis, by the way. I kind of rearranged the lyrics and changed a word or two so they would fit the story a bit better. This one is pretty much vague angst for the most of it, and at the end it is distinctively angsty. It's set in Season 1, a few months after Bete Noire, but before Revielle. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or Tony or Kate or Gibbs... What shall I ever do? :/

Kate looked up from her desk when she heard the elevator doors open. Tony was unusually late today, and she was starting to worry.

She twisted her neck so she could see who was exiting. She sighed out of relief when she saw her partner sauntering towards his desk. She noticed he looked like he had just woken up-his hair was messy, stubble covered his chin, and his clothes looked worn and were stained.

Kate thought she would investigate. "Hey Tony!" she said brightly.

He muttered a "Hey," and continued his amble into the bullpen.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He heaved a sigh as he sat down, not answering her question. Kate thought of the possibilities: Did he have a hangover? His car broke down? Was it about a girl?

No, it couldn't be about a girl, he's with Alicia.

"Oh no, Tony..." she said sadly, "You and Alicia, you didn't..."

"Yes," he said bitterly. "We broke up, okay? Can you leave me alone now?"

Kate stared at him for a moment, then continued with her work. She shook her head.

Tony had been talking about her ever since about a week after they started dating. She couldn't help feeling guilty for all the things she had said in retaliation to him, now that he was grieving over her.

(I know you've been hurt by someone else. I can tell by the way you carry yourself.)

But she was well-grounded; he had been talking about her WAY in excess. Kate now knew everything about the woman: Dark, long curly hair, blue eyes, a GREAT body, of course...

And she had never seen her once.

Kate watched as Gibbs came swinging into the bullpen, coffee in hand, to his desk. After a brief phone conversation, Kate memorized the case details he was telling them, and followed his orders: "Grab your gear."

As he strided back out, Gibbs asked, "What's wrong with you, today, Tony?" without looking back.

Tony grumbled something that Kate couldn't identify; it was probably some smart retort to Gibbs's question. He quickly gathered his things and left Kate behind, still staring.

Kate hurried just in time to stop the elevator doors with her foot. She put on her coat quickly as she stood in the elevator doorway, and then stood next to Tony. Staring at the thick, metal doors as they traveled downward, Kate wished she had the guts to mention some words of comfort to Tony. But she knew that he would reject them, maybe even laugh at her, if he was in the mood.

The whole day was affected by Tony's sluggishness. They were at the scene half an hour longer than they should have been, and Tony got a scolding from Gibbs. Normally Kate would find that funny, but today, it just built more tension.

Kate was able to contain herself until Gibbs came into the bullpen later that day, wanting the information he had told them to find earlier before he left. Kate promptly stood up, remote in hand and reported.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs said.

"Yeah?" Tony mumbled.

"DiNozzo! If you don't have his cell phone record..."

Tony stared at him. He wasn't gonna lie.

"Gibbs," Kate said, unable to see Tony go through more of his lectures again. "Tony's... not himself today."

"I can see that, Kate," Gibbs grumbled.

"Kate, no," Tony said. He turned to Gibbs. "I'll get his cell phone record."

"You better within 5 minutes or you'll be looking for another job," Gibbs marched out of the bullpen.

"Tony, he would've cut you some slack if you let me tell him-"

"I don't want him to do that," Tony said firmly.

"What, you wanna torture yourself?"

Tony looked down at his desk.

"I know, you wanna be strong, you wanna be like Gibbs but..."

"Me? Like Gibbs?"

"Okay, I don't mean the coffee and burban drinking; with three ex-wives thing," Kate clarified. "Tony, just... do something about it. Don't go on being miserable like this."

"I won't."

"You will."

Tony's face hardened, and Kate regretted trying to fight with him.

"You can tell me," Kate offered.

(If you let me, here's what I'll do

I'll take care of you)

"No," Tony shook his head. "I don't think you'll get it."

"I've had bad break ups, too, Tony."

(I've loved and I've lost)

"Yeah, but, you'll just side with her."

Kate moaned.

Gibbs came back into the bullpen right then. Kate decided she probably wouldn't get anything out of Tony.

That night

Kate picked up her ringing cell phone, and when she saw the caller ID, the hurt that Tony had in his eyes earlier that day appeared in her own.

It said "Calvin".

The guy she had meant two months ago, at a time when she was alone and vulnerable... and wasted.

Tony was there, too, knowing that Kate would visit a bar after being held hostage by a terrorist who had charmed her.

Kate remembered what Tony had told when Calvin sat on a barstool next to her.

"Hey, watch out for him. He can get dangerous."

She remembered equally as well what she said back to him.

"I can look after myself, Tony."

No matter how annoyed she got with Tony sometimes, one thing she could count on him for was being right.

(We've all had our nights, though. Don't be so ashamed.

I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know, we know)

She knew she shouldn't pick it up. She knew what he would say, and she would end up believing it.

And the cycle would start all over again.

She cursed herself when she pressed the "OK" button to pick it up. She brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she asked bitterly.

"Kate, it's such a relief to hear your voice."

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Look, you have made me realize that I need to make some changes in life. I need your help to make them. Can you please just live with me for a while?"

"No. I don't want you to change. I want you to go to hell for the bastard you are!"

(Try to run with that, say you're done with that)

"Kate, I'm sorry! I've told you a million times."

"Say it a million more times; I'm not gonna believe you."

"Please, Kate, don't be this way."

Kate didn't know why, but she couldn't hang up the phone.

"You're the only person in my life who can help me. I don't wanna be a bastard, don't you understand? I'm a new person! I want another chance."

"Sorry, Calvin."

Shit, why did she just say sorry? She hurriedly flipped her phone closed and threw it on the couch.

She blinked rapidly to try to rid of the tears that were blurring the vision in her eyes. When she felt one slide down her cheek, she hurriedly wiped it with the back of her hand.

No, she wasn't gonna stay this way all night and end up like Tony next morning. She could get fired.

She grabbed her phone and dialed Tony's number. She heard his voice on the other end after one ring.

"No, I'm not up to going to therapy for this, Kate."

She sniffled, accidentally. "I wasn't gonna say that."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I just...it's nothing. Nevermind. Forget I ever called."

"No, don't hang up."

She sobbed in her hands after she closed her phone once again and this time set it in her lap. Why was she acting so weak? It's just a guy, she doesn't need anyone's support. She should be able to get through it alone.

('Cause that truth hurts, and those lies heal

And you can't sleep thinking that he lies still

So you cry still, tears all in the pillow case)

Her phone rang once again, and she immediately stopped crying to check who it was.

She decided to ignore the call when she saw Tony's name on her screen. She wouldn't accept any help.

It was still late at night and Kate was still in a depressed mood when the doorbell rang. She instantly knew who it was, and wondered why Tony would go out of his comfort zone to help her.

After a moment of hesitation, doubting whether she should ignore the doorbell just as she did the call, Kate reluctantly stood up and walked out of the living room towards the door.

Kate felt her lower lip starting to tremble when she saw him, but she took a deep breath and looked away so she could compose herself.

"Why are you here?" she asked, looking back at him.

His face almost resembled hers, but was more calm. He had time to let the grief progress.

"You know why."

"It's just like you said, I don't want any pity. So go home."

(You hate being alone, you ain't the only one.)

"Sure, after you tell me what happened."

"No, you'll laugh."

Tony waited for her to spill as he thought of some possible circumstances.

"It can't be that ass, Calvin...he's been quiet for a while."

Kate nodded.

"Oh no," Tony said. "What did he say this time?"

(Dealing with a heart that I didn't break)

"His usual crap, it's really stupid...I should be used to it by now."

"No, you haven't heard from him in a while, you couldn't have been ready."

Kate looked down at her cement porch, then up at Tony. "You were right, I shouldn't have even gone home with him," she said quietly.

"You couldn't have known," he said in the same volume.

(What's a life with no fun? Please don't be so ashamed

I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know, we know.)

"You're always right, Tony," Kate said, now talking at a normal level, "I should trust you more. I'm sorry."

Kate stared at the ground again, feeling guilty about all of the things she had said to Tony. He was a great guy; he looked out for her, especially that night.

"I'm not perfect," he replied.

(You've seen all my mistakes, so look me in my eyes)

Kate started rubbing her arms and shivering, and Tony suggested they go inside. Kate nodded in approval and walked farther back into the entrance so Tony could step in. He slid off his shoes as he commented on the colors of the walls and pictures, trying to be as gentle with the jokes as possible. He knew that ticking her off would only worsen the situation; and plus, he had already done that earlier over the phone. He was lucky to even be in here right now.

Kate led him into the living room and the sat on the end cushions of her navy blue couch.

When that now annoying ringtone blared from her cellphone, Kate jumped. She grabbed it from the coffee table and looked-once again-at the screen for a clue as to who it was. Oh God.

Seeing the mortified expression on Kate's face, Tony asked, "That's not him is it."

Kate looked at him and nodded.

When Tony grabbed the cell phone out of her hands, Kate warned him.

"He's not gonna listen to you, Tony. It'll just give a boost to my cell phone bill."

Tony sighed and ignored the call, something Kate knew she didn't have the strength to do, and didn't know why.

(You won't ever have to worry

You won't ever have to hide)

"Thanks, Tony."

"Sure. So, ya wanna talk about what happened?"

"No, it was just the same old crap. What about you and Alicia?"

"Not much to tell, either. We got in a fight about kids..."

Kate knew him too well. "And you told her that you weren't ready for kids."

"Yeah... that didn't go over so well with her."

(They don't get you like I do)

They sat in the silence, trying not to think about the earlier events that had caused each of them pain.

"You know, Tony," Kate said, "We've only known each other for two years."

"Yeah?"

"Well, this is the first time we've ever had to come to each other after a bad break up. There are gonna be more times like this as we move on."

"Yeah... I guess so," Tony nodded.

"So at the end of the day we've gotta be able to count on each other. We are all we've got."

Tony silently promised to himself that he would be there for her. He realized that he had never done this for her before, and hoped that he would have the chance again. Even if he hated seeing a hurt kate- one who wasn't up to playing off his jokes or making fun of him; a more serious Kate.

Could he possibly just comfort her without her being hurt?

(When you're ready, just say you're ready

When all the baggage just ain't as heavy

When the party's over, just don't forget me

We'll change the pace and we'll just go slow)