Chapter one

I closed my eyes, feeling the hot sun on my pale skin. Everything changed since last summer. I started playing guitar more...Exploring new music and meeting new people. Often my mom would drive me to local bars, just so I could play for everyone.

I met my friend, Matt Webb in choir. Since it was always in the morning, and then soon discovered he was in band too. He was that kid who every girl wanted to talk to. He was the kid who had the sandy brown hair, tan skin and brown eyes. Almost everyone I knew liked him. I sort of envied him in a way. Nobody noticed me, and even when they did I'd be getting into trouble. Sure, I was outgoing…But everyone loved Matt.

"Josh…?" Matt nudged me.

"What?" I snapped, trying not to sound too harsh.

"Aren't you excited?" He beamed

"For what?"

"Five…four… three…two..."

Riiinnngg

The school bell rang; Matt and I watched hundreds of kids pour out of our High school, Magee secondary to be exact. Summer at last, Matt and I had Gym last period and were soaked in sweat after being outside in the hot for a long period of time. I flopped on the grass, near a shady tree.

"C'mon," Matt motioned me to follow him.

I pouted. "It's too hot."

"Stop being such a baby," He laughed.

I rolled my eyes, and watched as a group of sophomore girls passed Matt. He smiled and nodded at them, one blond smiled back and shyly waved at him, he waved back.

"Who's she…" I wondered,

Matt laughed, ignoring my question and told me to get up. I did, and skipped over to him, And started walking to my house.

"Any plans for the summer?" Matt asked.

"Probably partying," I thought.

"That reminds me, Craig Green is having one tonight, you coming?"

"He's a fucking douche bag,"

"So?" Matt slowly said. "A party's a party. He'll probably be outside most of the time anyways…"

"Whatever," I mumbled.

Once we got to my house, Matt had a shower first, than me.

When I was finished getting dressed I just stood there in my room staring in my mirror, criticizing the reflection staring at me; Pale skin, blue eyes, brown hair. My eyes felt sunken in and blue rims around them from lack of sleep. I've always had insomnia… even as a little kid. But it's just been getting worse.

"Hello…there…" Matt awkwardly said, and shuffled into my room. I took my eyes away from the ugly image in the mirror and stared blankly at him.

"Hi." I finally said after a few seconds.

"Have you made up your mind yet?"

"About what?"

"The party?"

"I told you, I don't want to go."

"C'mon Josh. You never leave this house, you're-"

"I do too go out,"

"You don't socialize, Josh. Ever. That's why nobody likes you! Nobody knows you!"

I felt my face hot. I wanted to say a million terrible things to Matt. I wanted to insult him so bad. But I couldn't because I knew he was right.

I pursed my lips, and after what felt like forever, I agreed to go to the party.

I didn't feel right. But if this is what it took to actually get noticed, I guess I'd do anything. I was all ready to go. I wore black skinny jeans, Red converse and a concert T-shirt from one of my favorite bands, Jellyfish.

Matt stepped into the room again, and he was ready too. I wasn't gay, but I had to admit he did look pretty good. I frowned, knowing that I wouldn't get a date. Everyone was crazy about him… not me.

I ended up driving my mom's car to the party, which meant I couldn't drink. Matt didn't know how to drive yet anways.

Everything was loud. I wasn't that used to being around all these people…I put my hand on my chest, feeling the vibrations of the bass and the music carry through my body, Not paying attention, I walked into someone. And that someone spilled their drink all over me and them.

Embarrassed, I quickly said sorry and scurried away before I got into trouble.

"Wait," The voice said, following me.

I turned around, face flushed. Even more embarrassed to find that the voice belonged to a girl.

"Y-y-yes.." I stuttered.

"You look kind of familiar." She said.

"No…I really don't."

"Don't you hang out with that Matt kid..? Matt Webb…?" She slowly asked.

"Well…Yeah." I admitted.

She smiled. "The names, Ashleigh." She extended her right arm towards me. I assumed she wanted to shake hands. It was kind of odd.

"I'm Josh… Josh Ramsay."

"Josh..." She repeated. "I could get to know you."

She smiled slyly and slowly walked away.

She was beautiful; Black curly hair, pale skin, just like me. She had dark green eyes and a thin body frame.

The rest of my night consisted of me meeting new people, and keeping an eye on Ashleigh. I gave in to all my new friends and had a drink. One drink wouldn't be so bad, now would it? Then two, three, four, five, six.

It wasn't long before I was wasted; everything was a blur. Where was Matt? I didn't even care.

"SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN!" A tall blond, Jennifer shrieked.

There weren't many people left at Craig's house. Matt was right, He was outside most of the time. I actually didn't see him at all.

I sat down with the rest of the group. Jennifer smiled at me and blushed.

"Okay," She began. "You have to drop something of yours in this hat. If someone picks it out, you HAVE to go in the closet with them and do whatever you want." She smiled again.

She was the type of girl who nobody trusted, the loud obnoxious type.

It wasn't long before the hat came to me. I paused, reached in my pocket and grabbed a black guitar pic, and tossed it into the hat.

I zoned out. Everyone started playing the game…but I couldn't stop thinking about Matt. He was my responsibility. What if he got hit by a car or…

"Black guitar pic?" A voice called out.

I quickly turned to see that it was Ashleigh holding the guitar pic…looking around the room for an owner.

"Me!" I shot out of my chair.

She gave me back my guitar pic, dragged me to the closet and sat down. I closed the door, turned on a light and sat down across from her.

"Here's how it's going to work, Ramsay," She began. "I have something a little more fun to do…"

What could be more fun than sex..? I thought.

She took out a little baggie with two needles, and offered me one.

"What's this..."

"A needle." She whispered.

"Well no shit. What is it?"

"Are you that fucking dumb? It's heroin." She hissed.

I stared blankly at her.

"Do you want it or not?"

"I don't know…I mean…what If I get caught?" I slurred.

"Don't be such a pussy." She teased.

"I don't need drugs." I stated.

"Yes you do," She argued. "Matt. Everyone loves Matt. Everyone knows him, every single girl you wanted, wants Matt, not you. And where does that leave you, Ramsay? Huh? Matt says that you're his best friend, but all he needs is someone as ugly as you to-"

I couldn't take it anymore. I ripped the needle away from her hands and injected it into my vein.

I woke up the next morning in the closet. Ashleigh was gone, and my shirt was off.

"What happened last night?" I whispered to myself. I looked down at the floor, the needle was there lying at my feet, empty.

I smiled at it. The feeling was incredible; being stoned was the best thing ever. Ashleigh was right.

I shook my head reminding myself that I had to find Matt.

What Happened last night? I don't even know? And why was I strapped to the roof of Craig's car half naked? Just then I saw Josh run out of Craig's house. He looked like shit to be honest. Whatever happened to him last night obviously wasn't that great.

"What the fuck…" Josh laughed. Making me feel even more embarrassed about myself.

"Get me down, Josh…Now!" I pleaded.

"How about we just take the time to bask in this holy greatness of you being humiliated for once. Hm?"

"What are you talking about?" I hissed. "Get me down now!"

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Oh, Matt," He began. "What will I do with you?" And that was that. Josh untied me off of Craig's car roof.

Summer had officially began.