A/N This is random, pointless, and horrible, but whatever. It's two in the morning and I have a headache, but I felt like writing for something other than Lollypops and Letters. Anyways, review if you do read please.
Marissa Cooper couldn't sleep, and decided the only way she'd be able to was if she wrote down all the thoughts running through her mind. Ever since she'd received the plane ticket from her dad, she couldn't stop thinking about everything and everyone. Especially one particular person, but that didn't need to be mentioned right now. She had this feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach, like something was going to happen, and she didn't know if it was good or bad. She turned on her lamp and grabbed a piece of paper and pen. She pondered what to write, and then knew what. She was leaving tomorrow, and maybe her thoughts about everyone would be nice. So she wrote and titled it "Last Words.'
The next day Ryan came to pick her up, only to find that she was nowhere to be found. He looked around, calling for her, but she didn't come. He wanted to talk to her before they went and dealt with Volchok. He wanted to know what was going through her mind, and try to convince her to let him deal with the idiot on his own. As he searched her room for any notes, he found one with the two words, "Last Words," on the top. Curiosity got the best of him and he picked it up to read it.
Last Words
I can't stop thinking that maybe something is going to happen. And maybe whatever is going to happen is for the best, but I have this weird feeling deep inside of me that things are going to change. And if they do, before things get crazy, I'd like to write down what I think of everyone right now. If I was to die at this moment, this is what I'd like you to know.
Seth, you're funny, but don't let that get to your head. We used to be friends, but what happened to that? Are Ryan and Summer the only reasons you'll tolerate me? Do you really not like me? Regardless, I have to say that sometimes you make me laugh when I feel like I can't laugh anymore. For that, I'll always consider you a friend of mine.
Summer, you're my best friend. Maybe lately I haven't shown that much, but you really are. I know that these past couple of months have been rough on our relationship, but I'm hoping we can look past that. I'm really excited that you'll be my sister because I've always dreamt of that. You're one of the most important people to me, and I don't want you to ever forget that.
Mom, I know that things have never really been easy between us. I was always daddy's little girl and Kaitlin was yours, but lately we've been forced to cope on our own. And I'm going to be honest, I've been very upset with you in the past to the point of hate, but now that we've found a mutual relationship, I think it's safe to say that we're alright. I love you mom, even if I never really say that.
And last but not least, Ryan. What could I possibly say about you? I'm stupid. I'm stupid for ever letting you break up with me, and even more stupid for ever making you want to. I still love you, and I always have. I know you probably don't feel the same way, but it's something that constantly bothers me. Whenever I look at you smile, I feel all happy and jittery inside, especially when you're smiling at me. I know that you've changed a lot these past three years, and I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You really brought your life together after all the hardships you faced and for that I not only love you, but admire you. I wish we could be together, but I doubt we will. You can do so much better than me. Who thought I'd be the one saying that?
He was confused. Why would she write this? He placed the letter back down on her nightstand and then saw her in the doorway, staring at him. "I was just looking for you…" He said, looking at her.
"Right…while reading my letter that I wrote…" She accused, but didn't seem upset, but rather curious. She walked further into her room and said, "I went to Summer's room really quickly."
"Summer…" He murmured, realizing he hadn't checked with her.
"So…what'd you think?" She asked, her cheeks turning red. He wondered if it was because of what she said about him. Who was he kidding, of course it was.
"I think that your letter was very nice, but there's one small problem," He said, walking towards her. Truth was, he loved her more than he'd care to admit, but was afraid that she wouldn't feel the same way or something would get in between them now.
"What would that be?" She asked, looking deep into his eyes. Hers were a blue-grey color right now, something he rarely saw in them. Usually they were blue-green, or just blue, or just green. He secretly loved when her eyes were grayish.
"You said we probably wouldn't be together," He said, reaching her and putting his hands on her waist. "And I don't like that idea very much…"
She smiled slightly and asked, "Oh really?"
He shook his head and said, "Nope. I like this one much more…" He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, keeping his eyes open to judge her reaction. She pulled away quickly and shook her head. "What's wrong?" He asked, his voice slightly disappointed.
"I can't do this without knowing something," She whispered quietly, looking into his eyes again.
"What do you need to know?" He asked, kissing her cheek softly, figuring that she'd allow him that at least.
"Your last words," she said, referring to the letter she'd written.
"Last words?" He asked, not really getting it.
She nodded and said, "Words you'd want me to know if you died right now. Something you wouldn't otherwise say. Something that tells me what you really think."
He thought about it and then said, "I'd want you to know that I've been stupid. That breaking up with you was the worst thing I could've ever done, that I wish more than anything I could take it back so we could have been together these past months." He put his hands on the side of her face and said, "And I'd want you to know that having you proud of me makes me feel better than anyone else because you are the first and only girl I've ever been in love with. I'd want you to know that even though I don't say it near enough…I do love you…" He leaned his forehead against hers and murmured, "That I'll never, ever let you leave me again…"
"What about Greece?" She asked softly, but not really caring if she went anymore. She didn't need that escape from this town if she was with him, because he was her one and only safe escape. She loved him.
He shrugged and said, "I'll wait for you afterwards if you really want to go. I wouldn't deny you that chance."
She smiled and pressed her lips against his, finally.
She didn't go to Greece, but to Berkeley with him. They had their problems, yes, not talking enough on the top of the list, but they made it. They were Ryan and Marissa, the functionally dysfunctional couple. But they vowed to themselves when they got out of college that they'd never let those Last Words go unspoken.