Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Inuyasha.

A/N: This is an AU, based in somewhere U.S.A., and they are humans.

Title: You Idiot!

Summary: No matter how many times he's told, Koga will never learn. (Not for Koga lovers, b/c this is Sess/Kag.)

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A/N: Revised and reposted. I added more, so you defintely know it's Sesshomaru/Kagome more clearly. And this is my start to get back into writing my Inuyasha stories.

Warning: Koga's characterization is exaggerated and extremely parodied. I will not apologize for making fun of him, because I really don't like his character; and I actually don't think I'm too far off in how I described him if you really think about how he acts in the show with Kagome. Oh well, this is just for entertainment and nothing else. So, take this as it is. It's just a joke. After all, that's what a parody is.

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Freshmen year in high school, Koga saw the most beautiful girl in his opinion. She was a petite girl with a lean body, had long black hair, full pink lips, a cute button nose, and the deepest blue eyes he had ever seen. Right then and there, he knew she was going to be 'his' girl. (Poor fool never had a chance.)

After learning her name (which took him a month), he walked right up to her and said, "I like you Kagome."

She scrunched up her perfect nose (in his eyes) and answered, "I don't even know you, you idiot."

He accepted her answer with a boyish smile figuring she only needed time.

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Sophomore year came and Koga was still determined to get Kagome as his girlfriend. The sad part was he never made the effort to get to know her personally, or her likes and dislikes. He reasoned it was more important for her to learn all there was to know about him.

Thinking that it didn't make a difference, he again walked up to her and declared, "You're going to be my girlfriend, Kagome."

Frustration was evident when she replied, "I don't like you, you idiot."

The same smile came on his face knowing she would see in time.

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Senior year arrived, and Koga was sure Kagome finally saw reason, since he had never seen a guy hang all over her. (He didn't know her guy was going to a private school.)

Confident she was his, he walked up to her again and proclaimed, "You're going to the prom with me and be my woman."

Her stance screamed of annoyance and she yelled, "I have a boyfriend, you idiot!"

Not seeing the promise ring she blatantly waved in front of his face, he figured her to be lying probably because her parents wouldn't allow her to date yet. It didn't matter to him, because he would wait for her like she did him. (Ah, ignorance is bliss.)

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During spring break in his second year of college, Koga happened across Kagome in Cancun. He had a feeling she wanted to surprise him in proving she was eager to be his by wearing a sexy bikini to show off her womanly figure. (The simpleton never figured it to be pure coincidence for her to be there as well.)

With a cocky attitude, he walked up to her and said, "I see you're ready to be my woman, Kagome."

When her shock wore off, she shoved her left hand in his face and shouted, "I'm engaged, you idiot!"

Watching her stomp away, he guessed she was fibbing because she was embarrassed with everyone seeing her in a bikini when she wanted only him to see her like that. It was all right with him, since he would wait for her to return. (The dunce never noticed her talking to her fiancé, and then struggling with her friends to refrain said fiancé from pummeling the unfortunate sap.)

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After graduating from college (which took him six years just to get his associate's) and getting a job as a customer service manager in a retail store, Koga caught sight of Kagome shopping in the mall during his lunch break. He was positive that being a college graduate (well, in his opinion since it did take so long) and now a working man, she would be his.

Striding up to her, he said, "Now you can be my woman, Kagome."

Balling up her fists, she spoke each word slowly so he could understand. "I'm married and pregnant with his child, you idiot."

Looking at her retreating figure, he was certain she would eventually be his since more than half of all marriages ended in divorce. (Too bad he never read any of the articles on her happy marriage to the star quarterback of the local NFL(don't own) team, who was her high school sweetheart.)

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At his high school's ten year reunion, Koga knew for sure Kagome was finally going to his. Over the years, he had dated quite a few women, but nothing permanent since he didn't want to be tied down to anyone when she came to him. He had given her the proper amount of time to realize the two of them were meant to be, and now was the time to act.

When he spotted her, he only saw females around her and a man who was too pretty to be straight since he had the strangest color of silver hair he had ever seen. (Isn't it sad that Koga was not a football fan, then he would have known the man was the infamous QB?)

Swaggering up to her where she was talking to the group of old friends, he spoke with all the bravado in his being. "You're my woman, Kagome."

After her friends let out their gasps and snickers, she sighed in exasperation and called out, "Sesshomaru." The silver haired man was at her side in an instant.

Now that he was closer, Koga felt inferior to the man's 6'4 stature compared to his 5'10, and he also could see the muscles underneath his clothing. This man had an air of strength and confidence around him that Koga could almost admire, if he wasn't so sure the man was gay. (There was nothing wrong with being homosexual, but after his gay friend Jakotsu started stalking him in college, he thought it was best to keep any compliments to himself.)

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Sesshomaru finally had enough. Throughout his years with his beloved Kagome, this halfwit had somehow always crossed paths with his wife and continuously professed her as 'his woman.' At first, it was something to laugh about because they knew it would never come true. But as the years went by, the clod under no circumstance ever took the crystal-clear hints.

There were many times he had wanted to personally pound it into the imbecile's mind that Kagome was never the fool's to begin with but only his, ever since they were introduced to each other by their parents following the promotion of her father to president at his father's multi-billion dollar company when they both started high school. They've been together through thick and thin, which helped create a strong bond between them that nothing could break apart. Kagome was his strength and inspiration, because she had been the one to encourage him to follow his dreams of football stardom while helping to convince his parents to let him have his own career before he took over the business (to which they reluctantly agreed only after an impassioned speech about allowing him to live his life from his beautiful Kagome). His precious spouse is, was, and will always be his one and only, as he was hers; and he would be damned if he allowed the dolt to persist in disputing this fact.

'Now he has gone too far, and the ass will finally learn who Kagome belongs to once and for all.' Sesshomaru was really tempted to beat his hands on his chest in a barbaric way and grunt she was his, then toss her over his shoulder like a Neanderthal (or is it drag her out by the hair?) to prove who she belonged to. But knowing his love would not appreciate such an uncivilized display (especially since they were not in the bedroom role-playing), he decided to simply vocalize his words and a threat.

Eerie gold eyes stared at the man in disgust, and cold, hard words came out in a deep voice. "You will cease this nonsense of proclaiming MY wife and the mother of MY children as yours, before I physically force you to. She has never been nor ever will be yours, because she is MINE." With that said, the football star took his beaming wife away who for once was not complaining about his possessiveness. (Well, who was she to nag about it when she did find it a major turn-on in bed, which they no doubt were heading to with the way her husband took his determined steps out of the room. Or maybe in the backseat of the limo if she had her way.)

The same boyish smile that he retained after all these years came on his face. He had a feeling she hired someone to pretend to be her husband, because she didn't want to admit to anyone she was single after her, no doubt, nasty divorce and probably wasn't sure if he was single as well. He enjoyed her hard-to-get performance and loved her firey spirit more.

"One day, you'll be mine Kagome." He pronounced out loud to the group around him as if he never heard the words just spoken to him.

They shook their heads and all had the same thought.

'You Idiot!'

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Well, what do you think? This idea came to me, and I just had to write it. Koga is always oblivious to what Kagome's saying, that I thought it would be funny to write this in an exaggerated way of his thinking that Kagome would be his. Again, I'm not going to apologize for making fun of Koga, because he is one of my least favorite characters on the show, and to be frank, this was just written to be humorous and to poke fun at his character.

Hopefully, this will be the kick start I need to finish my other Sess/Kag stories and write some other ones (because I do have a couple of ideas I want to write). Cross your fingers for me that I get the other ones done soon.

Please be kind and review!!!

DOTS