Me, Missing You

…

Eve made her way down to the offices of the Cold Case Unit, most of the place in darkness. She came through the doors to see the table lamp still on in Grace's office, spotting Boyd in her chair by the bookcase, one of her journals in his hands, his head down. He took a deep breath before she knocked lightly and opened the door, Boyd never moving from his position.

"Boyd." Eve spoke softly.

Eve stood a little uncomfortably for a few moments before he finally lifted his head, the tiredness evident on his face as he offered the smallest of smiles her way.

"Eve, I didn't think anyone was still here?" He said almost too quietly for Eve to actually hear.

"Well no I, I still had a few things to finish up."

"Good, that's good."

"You okay?" She asked concerned.

"Mm-mm, oh yeah fine. You okay?"

"Me, yeah I'm good."

Eve rolled her eyes before she closed the door to Grace's office behind her and came over to Boyd, her arms folded in front of her.

"Boyd I've had a call from Stella?"

Boyd went rigid at her words, fear filling him before he looked up at her again.

"And?"

"Stella said the surgery went well, they managed to remove the blood clot and the doctors are hopeful for a speedy recovery. So…that's good news isn't it?" She said, trying to sound chirpier for him.

"Yeah, yeah that's great news Eve, thank you for letting me know."

"Are you going to go to the hospital?"

"Oh…I don't think Grace will want me there."

"Don't be daft, of course she will, I mean why would she…"

"Eve this was my fault, I never should have made her meet him. She got hurt because of me."

"You weren't the one who pushed her Boyd."

"No, but she was there because I made her meet him."

"Boyd, none of us saw her hit her head when she fell, not you, not me, or Stella or Spence, none of us. It was just an accident, Grace got in the way."

"But she was there because…"

"It was her job, she was doing her job. Our suspect would never have come in if Grace hadn't convinced him too, you know that."

"I treat her like crap Eve, we all know I do."

"It's just the way you are."

"I just get so angry all the time, I think the job's made me that way."

"Then stop it."

"Easier said than done."

"Not if you're determined, I suppose it all depends on how much you're willing to change."

"I guess you're right."

"Why won't you go and see Grace? The real reason?"

"I already told you why?"

"So its not because of your feelings for her?"

Boyd put down Grace's journal, before getting to his feet.

"A step too far Dr Lockhart."

"Quite, and I'm sorry but it needs to be said. Feel free to sack me." She winked.

"Couldn't do without you." He smiled. "Does everyone know?"

"About your feelings for Grace, I would say so. It's been somewhat obvious over the last few years I've been here. Boyd the yelling, the arguments you force upon her, it doesn't help. She already walked out of here once, there's nothing stopping her from doing that again, only this time…you might not get her back."

"What am I supposed too do Eve, it's not easy to change the man I am."

"It's only who you've become, you weren't always like this, not from what Spence has told me, and Grace. The jobs got to you and now you're testing just how far you can push Grace and it needs to stop, otherwise you won't just lose your profiler, you'll lose your friend and possibly so much more."

"What time is it?" He asked.

"Just after eight, I'm sure the doctor will let you see her if you go now."

Boyd offered a smile before walking to the door, opening it and turning back to his pathologist.

"Thanks you Eve, I'll get better."

"I really hope so, go to her okay?"

"You get off home, don't stay here all night."

"I might go to the body farm for an hour or so first."

"You really need a personal life, night Eve."

"Night Boyd."

Eve watched him leave, turning to look around Grace's office, a little smile on her face.

"Right, my corpses await." She muttered to herself as she left the office for the evening.

…

Boyd walked along the corridor with the nurse, quietness surrounding the hospital. The smell of the place was the one thing Boyd had always hated, one of the main reasons he'd always tried his best to avoid the place. They came to a standstill outside Grace's room, Boyd surprised to see her sitting up in bed.

"Oh."

"Something wrong Sir?"

"No I just, well I wasn't expecting her to be awake."

"Well she's a strong woman, she came around from the operation fairly quickly. Don't misunderstand, she's still very weak, but she will make a full recovery."

"Yeah, I was told."

"She's been asking for you."

"She was?"

"Mm-mm, you were the first one she asked for when she woke up."

"Probably wants to string me up."

"Excuse me?" The nurse asked.

"Never mind, if she needs to rest then I can come back."

"Don't be silly, your visit will do her good."

Boyd watched as the nurse smiled and walked back down the hall, he looked in at Grace for a few moments, getting the courage to go in to the room. As he stood looking at her, her head suddenly turned to see him watching her, a smile on her face. She gestured for him to go in to the room, taking a deep breath as he walked inside. Grace watched him closely, seeing how nervous he looked. She tapped the edge of the bed, gesturing for him to sit down.

"I don't bite Boyd." She joked.

He came over, slowly. Ready to pull out a chair, but Grace reached for his hand, stopping him.

"Not there, sit by me."

Boyd did as she asked, watching the way her face contorted in pain as he sat down.

"Are you okay, are you in pain."

"Just a very bad headache."

"Grace, I am so so sorry for what happened, this is all my fault." He stated as he looked down at his hands.

Grace reached out, taking tight hold of one of his hands forcing him to look up at her.

"Boyd, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Of course it is, I should never of had you meet him."

"It was my choice, we were friends once, I thought Murray would listen to me, I was wrong."

Boyd saw the sad look that passed across Grace's face, squeezing her hand.

"I need to apologise to you."

"Boyd I…"

"No listen, please?"

"Okay." She answered, hearing the desperation in his voice.

"I don't know what's happened to me the past few years, after Mel died I…I feel like I became this other person, someone I didn't even recognise. I started shutting everyone out, including you. I think I've been pushing you away more than anyone."

"I know losing Mel affected you, if affected all of us. But it's not just Mel is it, it's your son, never really knowing what happened to him, it holds you back."

"It does, I keep thinking if maybe I had done things differently, been around more when he was growing up, if I hadn't been so attached to the job, maybe Luke would still be with me. I don't want to give up on him, even now."

"Nobody says you have too, we don't expect you too, I don't expect you too, but you do have to try to find a way to get on with your life. If you keep blaming yourself, thinking of all the things you should have done, you'll stay stuck in the past and you'll never be able to move on with your life, Luke wouldn't want that, and neither do I."

"I want to change, I really do. Especially with you."

"With me?"

"I've treated you like crap for so long, stupid arguments. Every time you try to help me, I just push you away. Eve was right, If I keep on like this, the next time you walk out, might just be the last time."

"Boyd, I'd love to say Eve's wrong but…"

"No I know, I know she's right. I know she is and I'm ready to change because out of everyone in my life, you're the one person I couldn't bare to lose."

Grace watched as Boyd tightened his grip on her hand, her friend and colleague moving a little closer to her before he looked at her.

"I will do whatever I have too, counselling, anything. As long as it means you stay with me, always."

Grace felt Boyd move even closer, capturing her lips in his, feeling his hand coming to her face as he pulled back a little.

"I love you Grace, I think you already know that, and if you didn't well…surprise."

"Boyd."

"Seeing you earlier, when you collapsed. Everything with Mel came flooding back and I was so scared that I was going to lose you too."

"It'll take more than a blood clot to finish me off."

"I believe that." He smiled. "What do you think about what I've said, did I shock you?"

Grace smiled as she ran her hand down Boyd's face, shaking her head before she kissed him again.

"Honestly…it's about bloody time."

…

-Fin