She sat down and placed her books on her desk, getting ready for the start of class. Her stomach twisted as she waited for it to begin. If anyone knew she were nervous, they would most likely ask why. This course, a simple study on Supreme Court cases, was simple. So why then, was it making her nervous? She would lie. Say it was her grade and that she was afraid of failing it. She was, in fact, already in danger of doing so. The problem here, the real problem, was her professor. She felt disgusted and angry with herself because it just couldn't be true and it... it was as she felt: disgusting.
From what she figured after they had discussed the many Court cases, he was forty plus years, an age he did not look. He had stated before that he had a family: married with two sons. But how did that help change how she felt? Every class, she would avoid looking at him in hopes these possible feelings were false and would disappear. His physical appearance was intimidating: almost six foot; he was thin but looked as if he could take a man down with ease; dark eyes; and his thick black hair never made it past his ears. His personality, or what he showed himself to be, was much different: helpful, kind, and... that's all she could make of him. So where were these suspicious feelings coming from? They couldn't be real.
She knew what she wanted from a man and her professor was not it. But every time she thought about him, she got butterflies and because of that, she wanted to cry out in disgust. He was her father's age yet, she caught herself imagining him doing things to her, doing things she had yet to experience because she was still a virgin. That was the other point. She wanted it to be for love, not whatever she was "feeling" for this older man. Because he was also her academic advisor, she saw him more often than others and, with the kindness he treated her with, partly hoped he reciprocated those feelings- whatever they were. But, she was extremely thankful that he was, as far as she knew, faithful and honest. It wouldn't fair well for either of them if he wasn't. She wouldn't know what to do with herself should anything happen, ruining a family and her future, as well as how others perceived her.
The bell rang and there he was, walking in just on time. He went to the podium and placed his folder and copy of their book, down, before taking roll call. She opened her book to focus on something else when her name was called during attendance. Why couldn't this feeling go away? When did it start?
"It looks like it's...Téa's and Kaiba's turn today." The professor mentioned, catching her attention. "Who would like to go first?"
Téa turned around to face Kaiba. He tried to match her eyes with his but she couldn't. His own dark eyes were stern in which he said, "I will." He offered. "Two men were convicted of promoting Communism..."
She waited for her moment to pitch in, staring at her notes: "I think, that just because the First Amendment clause says it's freedom of speech, you, um, can't do that..." Her voice became lower and lower as she continued and she hoped that she had not embarrassed Kaiba like she had herself on another Case, unable to speak. The difference between the two, besides speaking, is that she was alone on the other Case. Her partner wasn't there.
The political science professor moved on to the next couple and next Case, which drew her attention: Atem. They weren't as close as they used to be but they still spoke. Something else was tearing at her. More feelings. She had a crush on him. She wasn't as confused as she was with the man teaching the class but why? They knew each other but not enough to like each other. His eyes were like a portal to another world, his purple irises shining even through the dark. His spiky, blonde and black hair with magenta tips was, to her, almost too much. It made him even more attractive than he already was, his five and half foot, slender and muscular body not helping her attraction.
The other day, she had stopped in at RSO office where he was working to pick something up, and he greeted her with a smile. It was part of his job, she guessed. But when he stood beside her, she noticed how tall her had gotten since the semester before. She was probably just imagining things. Lately he had been hanging out with a girl named Téana. It made her suspicious but she couldn't get ahead of herself. Forms of Téa and the name itself was a popular name. If she remembered right, he was graduating this semester. That was next weekend. She would have to convince herself she was faking these feelings, just as she was with her professor.
These feelings weren't good for her. Glancing at the men from the corner of her eye, she decided she would wait it out. There was nothing she could do.