My eyes flutter open and I stare at the ceiling for a while. Cato's lying next to me and I know he's watching me. I don't look at him though. I'm still angry with him from yesterday. We were walking home from the training centre and it was quite late, about nine. The reaping is in less than three months so things are really starting to pick up during training. He was exhausted from his running session and I was pretty tired from my knife wielding. I was number one in my group and well, I don't like to brag but probably one of the best knife-throwers in the district. Cato hates when I talk about how good I am because of his extreme competitive attitude. That session my instructor had told me that I should start training younger future tributes because I'm so advanced, which was basically him saying 'You're better than everyone else,' or at least that's how I took it. I was so excited and of course walking home with Cato that evening was going to have to tell him. 'I just can't believe he thinks I should start training people! I mean, I know I'm one of the best in 2 but I didn't think I was THAT good!" At first, Cato said 'Good for you Clove.' In a monotone. Then as I kept going on about it, I could see him begin to tense up. "I'm just so excited I can't wait to tell everyone! Am I over reacting? It is a big deal, right Cato?"
"Yeah, sure." He said.
"Yeah, sure I'm overreacting or yeah sure it's a big deal?"
"Don't know." He replied
"You know, you could be more supportive. You don't really seem bothered abo-"
"Because I'm not."
"What's the matter with you today? Are you just tired?" I sighed.
"No. Nothing." He replied with that same monotone.
"Obviously something is up. Is it because my training-?"
"I don't really care Clove."
"Then why aren't you happy for me?"
"Because I don't give a shit! Okay? My combat trainer is always saying stuff like that to me, and I don't act like you're acting, all 'Oh I'm the best in the whole of 2, my trainer said so.' Jesus!"
"Well… just… just because you are jealous that I-"
"That you what Clove? Jealous that you what? I'm better than you. All right? Now suck it up and shut up." He said.
"You think you're better than me, really? Do you?"
"Oh I know I'm better than you." He started getting closer to me until his forehead was practically pressed against mine. His hands locked an iron grip around my wrists. "You're shorter than me for starters. Skinnier. And I'm a better fighter. I could break your neck in a split second with my hands tied behind my back before you'd even have reached for a knife. I'd win in the arena over you any day. So stop acting like you're so superior to me when in reality it's the other way around." He threw my arms out of his grasp and turned to walk away.
That really hurt me, that comment.
"So that's what you think about me, the girl you're supposed to love." I said. This pulled him up short. He knew that was a rude thing to say to me, even though we say harsher everyday.
He turned back around to face me. I then said,
"I hate you… because I love you so much that even when I hate you I want to kiss you." The look he gave me made me think he was going to punch me in the face, but instead, he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me, hard. His huge hands grabbed my waist and pulled me into his body, making my back arch as he kissed me harder. His tongue shoved its way into my mouth so far back I thought I might gag on it. After about five minutes of trying to shake his grasp I managed to come up for air.
"Cato, stop it." I panted.
"No." He carried on kissing me.
I bit his tongue hard and he immediately stopped and grabbed his tongue with one hand.
"What the fuck was that for?" He said. I just shook my head and said, "I don't want you touching me. Not after what you said."
He just shook his head too, spat out a mouthful of blood and grabbed me again.
I am very strong but comparing me to Cato is like comparing a kitten to a bulldozer. No matter how much I tried to shake his grasp, I just couldn't. I tried pushing him away from me or screaming at him to stop, but it just made him more aggressive. After a number of attempts I gave up and kissed him back. We stood there for about ten minutes practically eating each other until a group of Peacekeepers walked past us. As soon as I heard the uniform march of their boots I pushed Cato away from me and smiled their way.
"What are you two doing out at this time?" One asked us.
"Oh, sorry. We were just-" Cato said.
"Going home. Minors should not be out past curfew." One of them said. We nodded, watched them walk away and waited until they were out of sight.
"Lets go back to mine." Cato said, pulling me with him as he started to walk in the direction of his house.
"Cato, I should go home." I said trying to back up.
"You're coming home with me, Clove. I need you." He said.
"You need me or you want me?" I said. He just turned to me and smiled. That sexy crooked smile that makes me angry and frustrated yet warm and excited at the same time.
Of course I went home with him and of course we had sex. We were so angry at each other that it made the sex even more heated and rough. Just how we like it.
I don't look at him even when he grabs my cheeks with his hand and pulls my face to the side. I shake him off and sit up straight.
"What?" He says.
"I really don't like you." I say but I still don't look at him.
"I don't like you either. But I love you." He says in a tacky voice.
This makes me smile. "I love you too."
Suddenly the doorbell rings. I hear Cato shuffle around and out of the corner of my eye see him sitting next to me. "Oh god. I hope that's not my parents." He says. His parents are very against Cato and I being together. They don't like me, at all. I don't really know why. He tells me it's because he left his ex-girlfriend for me, who his parents adored. But I think it's because they think I'm not good enough for him. On a number of occasions where I have tried to be nice or helpful towards them, they've been rude and said things like, "No, we don't need you." Or "Stop trying you are embarrassing yourself." Cato was furious with them for being so rude to me and they had a massive argument, that I witnessed, which ended in them 'banning' him from seeing me, but of course that didn't work. Were pretty good at sneaking around.
The doorbell rings again. And again.
"I thought you said they were staying at the nut." I say looking down at my hands.
"That's not them. They have a key." He says. The doorbell rings again.
"Go and get it." He says. I look at him for the first time to see if he's joking or not but he's lying down with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head. He's being serious, even though this is his house and not mine. I sigh, get up out of the bed and throw Cato's top on.
When I open the door I'm not sure who to expect, some one selling something maybe. But I'm greeted by our head peacekeeper, Malour.
I'm surprised at first and I don't know how to stand so I just fold my arms over my chest because I'm not wearing a bra.
"Hello Peacekeeper… Malour. H-how are you this morning?"
"Miss Sevina. I didn't expect to see you." He says.
"Yes. Urm, what… what was it you were looking to-for? Who… I mean." I stutter. He just looks at me with unblinking eyes.
"Master Hudley is expected to attend a meeting at the justice building this afternoon. I must inform him." He says. It's probably some meeting for only-Childs. They hold them to emphasis that it is harder to bring pride to you're family if you have no siblings, as there is less a chance of that family being reaped, so the importance of volunteering is bigger amongst only children. That means Cato.
"Oh, don't worry. I'll tell him." I say, trying to hurry the conversation up.
Malour nods once, turns to walk away and pulls a scroll out from him belt. I'm about to shut the door when he stops me.
"It appears, Miss Sevina that you are to report to the justice building as well."
I look at him quizzically. "Oh, really?" I say. He just nods again. "Have a good day." He says walking off. I shut the door behind him. So the meeting isn't about only children volunteering because I'm not an only child, I have an older sister. I don't know what it could be about? Maybe something for those who have high potential of winning the games?
I walk back upstairs and join Cato on the bed again.
"Who was that?" He said.
"Head peacekeeper, Malour. He came to tell you that we need to attend some meeting at the justice building this afternoon." I say.
"We?" He says.
"Yeah, he told me to tell you and then said that I needed to go as well."
Cato rolls on top of me, pushing me into a lying position. He props himself up with his hands and stares deeply into my eyes.
"You better give me my shirt back." He says, then lowers his head and bites the neck of the shirt and pulls it upwards. I push him off of me and stand up. I take the shirt off and chuck it at him. I forgot I'm still angry with him.
"Here, I don't want it anyway." My clothes are scattered all over the room so I start savaging around for them. I find my bra hanging from the doorknob and put it on. Cato's just sitting on the bed, staring at me. This annoys me for no particular.
"Can you stop?"
"What?" He acts so innocent.
"Stop staring at me it's making me feel uncomfortable." I say bending down to pick my underwear up off of the floor.
"Oh yeah. You're uncomfortable with me looking at you naked after I nearly fucked you to death last night." He says laughing.
"To death? Are you saying I'm weak?"
He nods. "I'm saying you can't handle my… aggression."
"Your aggression. You think I can't handle your aggression? After I was the one who only slept with you so I could hurt you?" I say.
"Hurt? Me? I'm surprised I didn't kill you last night."
"Well I'm surprised I didn't kill you last night." I say matter-of-factly. "I wish I did." I say again.
"You wish you killed me? Do you really?" He says.
I shoot him a look that says 'Watch it.'
Cato and I have a very strange relationship. I hate him so much. But only because I love him more than anything in this world. He is a complete dick who I cannot stand a lot of the time, but he is my life. I love him so much that it hurts. I couldn't live without him, which is why I hate him. He ruined my life by entering it.