Nikki's Notes: I do not own Dynasty Warriors and the characters, but this story is mine, so no stealing of my hard work, please. This fic is based on modern times, anyway. Have a great time.
It was such a lovely day in Northern China with the birds flying in the air gracefully and the atmosphere was quite lively. A perfect day for refreshing after a hard day's work, and of course after cramming through endless notes a minute before a long exam. Everybody was quite busy with anything, and to their surprise, Vanity Warriors—a spot for vain and self loving people, particularly young men, has opened its doors wide open for people who feel that they have neglected themselves because of work. The huge clinic offers a lot—including a spa, yoga training, hot springs, weight-loss programs, you name it. One thing though: one must pay 25,000 yuan a month— if they want to have that voluptuous body and nice hairdo.
Of course, the bill is not any hindrance to totally vain (read: VAIN) people who would kill themselves working just so they could enroll. And if you're damn rich like them Hiltons, it's no problem at all! So….
After a few days of its grand opening, Jiang Wei found himself enrolling inside the clinic. Nope, he wasn't a workaholic, though he was really proud to tell that taking out every single dust from Zhuge Liang's fan was quite tiring. So why not have a great time for himself?
At the receptions, the place was pure white and it scared Jiang Wei a lot. Not to mention that he's paranoid, and he could hear every single footstep that he makes. twitch "What was that!" He always found himself saying, and the fat lady by the cashier couldn't help but laugh. Yup, he was tired of being laughed at too. Imagine hitting your teammate out of fear that he might accidentally hit you during dodgeball. Tch. Pretty embarrassing.
"I have arrived!", he said in great enthusiasm. The fat woman just stared at him in annoyance. He was shouting when he first came in, because of, you know, his echoing footsteps, so there is no reason to tell her that he has arrived. "You're late.", she just uttered, making him worry more. "I'm late for today's first session!", he growled. The fat woman smirked. "Just give me your pay and go in, son."
Panicking, Jiang Wei shoved the 25,000 yuan to the woman, throwing it right to her face, then ran in a frenzy. And when she opened the cashier… "What was that sound!", he turned back again, almost slipping at the smoothness of the floor. After a few seconds, he ran towards the door anyways like it was some king of toilet emergency.
The receptions hall looked somewhat like a mental hospital, but the session room was far from magnificent. Every corner was painted midnight blue, and small crystal that glittered at Jiang Wei's every movement were scattered by the walls. Jiang Wei searched around for other customers that he could befriend and spotted a familiar figure sitting cross- legged on the bright green sofa. "Zhao Yun!"
The man turned around and showed a big smile upon seeing his friend. "I told you I was gonna enroll!", Zhao Yun yelled as Jiang Wei came closer. His friend flashed a wide smile, showing pearly white teeth that sparkled like diamonds. "H-hey, you got them dental appointments here, right?", Jiang Wei said in envy. Zhao Yun's smile never faded, and he shook his head teasingly, seeing the other man's envious look. "Guess again."
"Man, I told you those fabric detergents are hazardous!", Jiang Wei scolded, slapping his friend's back. He finally sat on the sofa, searching around for anyone else that came for the first session. There was no one except a cute boy playing with his lighter over and over. "So there's only the two of us here… and him…", Jiang Wei pointed towards the boy. "Oh yeah, I made friends with him while waiting for the head instructor. Xunie! Come on over Lu Xun!"
the guy turned his head towards them and kept his lighter in an instant. He was wearing a red shirt that read "HOW DO YOU KEEP AN IDIOT BUSY? (see back side)", dark denim pants and white Nike shoes to match with. Jiang Wei was pretty amused by his logo shirt and as the boy sat with them he bent his head over to see what the back side read this time.
"HOW DO YOU KEEP AN IDIOT BUSY? (see front side)"
"Yeah, I got fooled by that logo shirt too.", Zhao Yun seemed proud to tell so. "Anyways, this is Lu Xun, and this is Jiang Wei." He gestured his hands. The boy had golden eyes which Wei found really unusual. "Nice contacts.", he commented. The boy smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "They're real."
"Oooh, I see!", Jiang Wei said in delight. Lu Xun just smiled. Zhao Yun scratched his head and yawned in boredom. "It seems that there are only the three of us who are vain from the male species…"
All of a sudden the door banged loudly to their surprise. Two men came in. one with long, dark hair and the other with a high ponytail and a Sprite can in hand.
"Zhou Yu…?", Lu Xun stood up slowly, an expression of disbelief in his face.
"What the hell are you doing here?", the long haired guy exclaimed.
"I'm here to get a break from your long and boring lessons!", Lu Xun kidded. "Well I'm here to pamper myself also.", Zhou Yu said. "Look at my face! I feel like I'm thirty plus…"
The man with the Sprite can thrust his elbow softly at Yu. "You are…"
"… Shut up.", Zhou Yu rolled his eyes.
Lu Xun shrugged his shoulders and introduced them to his new friends. "This is my mentor, Zhou Yu, and his 'i-wish-he-was-my-brother Sun Ce." Jiang Wei and Zhao Yun stood from the sofa and greeted them with smiles. Zhao Yun was proud of his pearly whites and flashed them like hell. Sun Ce raised a finger. "Ahh… fabric detergent." He did the Zhao Yun flashy smile—and pointed to his own white teeth.
"So that's why I keep smelling my clothes in your mouth!", Zhou Yu said in disgust, shoving Sun Ce's chest. "God, I'm pretty scared that they'll ask us to do the same to have that kind of teeth.", Jiang Wei frowned. Zhao Yun finally let go of his smile. "Stop being paranoid, kido.", he said, fixing his jaw in a moment. "We're all here to be pretty. Not to be scared."
Another door opened, and it wasn't just any customer this time. Sun Ce could not help but gasp. "Something to be afraid of!"
Lu Xun's face turned bright red, and he grabbed a handful of hair from his head with two hands. "A GAY HEAD INSTRUCTOR!"
Sure, there's nothing left to be asked. The head instructor was gay indeed. He was clad in a purple, glittery sash that almost covered his bare chest, lavender trousers and a pair of high- heeled purple pumps. His long hair was tied in a ponytail with a golden butterfly clip. The instructor eyed them one by one before bowing down gracefully, exposing a pair of golden butterfly wings.
"A BEAUTIFUL morning to my dear customers—I am Zhang He, and I will be your head instructor here in Vanity Warriors!", he declared, exposing glittering pearly white teeth that almost blinded them in a flash. Sun Ce and Zhao Yun stared at each other in disbelief.
Zhang He winked at the frightened Lu Xun who was hiding behind his mentor's back. "This is my assistant, Diao Chan—", he pointed towards a tall woman in a white dress. "—and the head bodyguard, the Mighty Lu Bu." Jiang Wei eyed the pretty assistant, looking her up and down. "By the way, Lu Bu has his own ways on dealing with pests in the clinic.", Zhang He grinned. Lu Bu cracked his fingers as he came nearer to Diao Chan, making Jiang Wei stare at the gay instructor instead.
Zhang He raised his finger and started counting the clients, moving his finger gracefully at every count. "I didn't expect that we would be this less…", he frowned in frustration. " Anyways, my pretty boys…"
"I wouldn't be the one to our you around the clinic since I have my own job to do, but I would like you to learn the signature Vanity Warriors move, which would prove that you are indeed a Vanity Warrior." , he smiled at the scared Lu Xun. who was still hiding behind Zhou Yu. "Watch me."
Zhang He stepped his right foot to the left, his high- heels clicking. His arms were spread wide open, the left one raised high and the other below. He turned around swiftly with grace and raised his hands up while facing them. Then he flapped his hands quickly like a butterfly and cheered, "BEAUTIFUL!"
The boys stared at Zhang He in awe. "Why have I enrolled…?", Zhou Yu cried, grabbing the frightened Lu Xun from behind. The instructor winked at them and flipped back his pony tail. "Please proceed gracefully."
Silence.
"Come on now, beautiful people!"
Having no choice, Jaing Wei, Zhao Yun, Sun Ce, Lu Xun and Zhou Yu stepped their right foot to the left, arms spread, turned around and flapped their hands like cute butterflies indeed.
"BEAUIFUL!"