Author's Note: Oh my God, is it what I think it is? Yes, another MGS fic here. Hope it suits everybody's tastes (and if not, oh well xD)
Disclaimer: Apply the usual here; copyright goes to Konami.
August 26th, 2014.
It's been a month already.
A month since the day that changed my life forever… once more, I guess. It was inevitable: in the end, he really did die. Snake is gone. I can't blame it all on one single thing, but that damned virus took him away from us. Not that I wasn't ready for it, but even that which you expect can catch you unawares. Everyone knew it would happen, but not when. After all we went through, it happened.
I was thoroughly glad that after his absence, Snake returned with us to live what he had left. We were a team; he was my best friend, and I sure as hell wasn't willing to let him go that easily. I was afraid of what would become of him, but thank God somebody –perhaps it was time- changed his mind. His last days were healthy ones despite his syndrome, and due to his conviction it didn't take him long till he stopped smoking… much to Sunny's relief, not to mention mine.
But when Snake… died, it hit me hard. Well, it hit everybody hard. I admit I was inapproachable the first three days after his funeral, and not even I could console Sunny despite the grief and pain we shared. We were supposed to be together, but we did nothing but drift apart. My moods were black; everything reminded me of Snake, and I couldn't get him out of my head. I saw him everywhere, and always with the same expression. He didn't want us to mourn him: that's what he always told me.
It… It felt just like the time when I realized that I had screwed up and Emma was dying right in my arms, but tenfold. I mean, I don't know how long it took me to get over Emma's death, but it haunts me even to this day. I had the feeling I was falling into myself, that I couldn't get out from whatever cage I was locked up in. The times Sunny asked for my company, we'd spend long whiles in silence, sitting beside each other without even moving. One day though, I became tired of that silence, and it was thanks to his memory.
I don't know about him but, if I were Snake, I would ask to not be forgotten, though over and over he told me that, when his time was due, there would be no reason for us to grieve for him. "Don't waste your time,", he'd said as if nothing, but if he'd had been a waste of time, I would've ditched him as soon as I'd had the chance. I had misunderstood him, but now I get it: he wanted for our lives to continue without his being in them, especially mine. Like he'd said, he'd done enough: his era was over. When I finally remembered that, I was thankful I had not been too late to redirect the course our lives had taken.
Thanks to Snake, I had everything I could ever ask for. I had the best family ever –heck, I had a family: just because of that I was still in debt with him. He had given me more than I him, and I was going to waste my time? I had a new beginning ahead of me, Sunny had her own, and it was my duty to make sure we continued writing the books of our lives. It would get simpler as we went on, but what was most difficult was taking that first step.
I was the first one to get out of the hole. The rest followed. But perhaps there were others, like perhaps Jack or Meryl, who had done it long before me. Still, I was able to keep going and soldier on.
Because that was what I was meant to do. I will be selfish enough to say that I will do it for myself.
For Sunny…
Thank you, Snake.