Title: Five Times Remus Lupin Rendered Sirius Black Speechless (and the One Time Sirius Turned the Tables)
Pairings/Characters: Remus/Sirius; brief James
Contains: language, sexual references, mpreg (yes, I went there), copious amounts of fluff
Author's notes: Written for deviant_forever for his donation to Queensland's Flood Appeal. His prompt was this picture of Remus/Sirius. This isn't quite what I'd planned, but I hope you enjoy it. Unbeta'd.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Five Times Remus Lupin Rendered Sirius Black Speechless...

1.

'What is that?'

Sirius swallowed hard and tried not to fidget under Remus' stern gaze. 'Um, Amortentia.'

'And why are you waving Amortentia under my nose?'

'I just... I was conducting an experiment,' Sirius improvised wildly. 'Er, recording the most common, um, smells the potion triggers.' Remus looked doubtful and Sirius gave him a weak smile. 'I was just... curious.'

Remus eyed him suspiciously for a moment longer then his eyes flicked down to the parchment in Sirius' lap. 'What are the results?' he asked mildly.

Sirius immediately clutched the blank parchment to his chest. 'I hadn't exactly - er - gathered all that much information yet.'

Remus raised an eyebrow, but Sirius said nothing, hoping that, even if Remus didn't buy his ridiculous reasoning, he wouldn't push him for the truth. He gnawed lightly at his lower lip when Remus glanced at the potion still in his hand then felt his heart skip a beat when the other boy raised it to his nose and inhaled deeply, his eyes fluttering shut.

Sirius held his breath as he waited for Remus to tell him what he could smell, praying it would be something that gave him hope that it could be him who was putting that soft, lovestruck smile on the other boy's face lately.

Remus opened his eyes and smiled that smile then handed the vial back to Sirius. 'Hmm,' he hummed, a contemplative expression on his face.

'Well?' Sirius asked impatiently.

Remus blinked slowly then, with a speed that startled Sirius, pounced, both of them falling back onto the mattress. Remus lifted his head and smirked down at Sirius. 'You want to know what I can smell?' he asked, voice low and with that rough edge that got Sirius so hot and hard when he was alone behind his curtains at night.

Sirius tried not to moan, feeling his blood rushing away from his brain. 'Y... yes,' he stammered.

Remus dipped his head until their lips were almost touching, his breath hot on Sirius' cheek. 'I can smell...' he tilted his head, nuzzling his nose into Sirius' throat, 'grass and fresh air.' He lifted his head slightly to touch his nose to Sirius' jaw as he inhaled a deep breath. 'I can smell hair product and musky aftershave.' He dragged his nose across Sirius' cheek then touched the tip to the tip of Sirius' nose. 'I can smell,' he whispered, gazing into Sirius' eyes, 'the scent of a dog that needs a good wash.'

Sirius' eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but nothing came up. His tongue felt swollen in his mouth, his throat narrow and impassable. Remus smiled that soft, lovestruck smile then, without another word, pressed his lips gently to Sirius'.

'Alright?' he asked quietly, eyes searching Sirius'.

Sirius could only nod as he slid his hand into Remus' hair and pulled him down into a kiss he hoped said everything he couldn't.

2.

'I want you to fuck me.'

Sirius looked up, eyes wide. 'W... what?'

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and glared defiantly down at Sirius, frozen in his recline on his couch. 'You will pull me off, you will blow me, hell, you'll even rim me, but you won't fuck me. Why?'

'I...'

'Do you think I'm too delicate or something?'

Sirius' mouth hung open and he shook his head.

'Are you worried that you'll get werewolf germs if you stick your dick in me?'

Sirius almost choked then shook his head again, his hair slapping across his cheeks in emphasis.

Remus unfolded his arms and pointed in the direction of the only bedroom in Sirius' flat. 'Then get yourself into that bloody bedroom, get your kit off, and fuck me into the mattress.'

Sirius made a whimpering noise in his throat then fell off the couch and onto his face as he scrambled to obey.

3.

They'd never addressed this particular elephant in the room; Remus' pride and Sirius' fear of rejection getting in the way. But after five consecutive days of falling asleep curled up together in post-coital bliss and waking up to lazy kisses and languid sex had stiffened Sirius' spine.

'Remus,' he said, lifting his chin as he prepared for the expected battle. 'I want you to move in with me.'

Remus looked up over the top of the newspaper he was reading and frowned. 'I thought I already had,' he said calmly before returning to his article.

Sirius stared at him for a moment longer, lips pursed as he considered his response, then he let out a petulant huff before slumping into the chair opposite and burying his nose in the discarded sports section.

4.

Sirius sat on the edge of the bathtub, a wistful smile curling his lips as he watched Remus shave. He knew he was being embarrassingly soppy and that, if James could see him, he would revoke Sirius' Marauder membership, but Remus was so damn beautiful with the light glinting off his hair, making it look like spun gold, and his skin luminous under the sun's kiss...

Merlin, James might revoke his man card as well if he kept thinking like one of Lily's cheap romance novels.

'What?' Remus asked, raising an amused eyebrow as his gaze shifted from his ministrations to Sirius' reflection behind his in the mirror.

I... nothing,' Sirius said, hugging his arms tight around his waist.

Hell, he might hand over his cards willingly at this rate. Being a sappy git occasionally was excusable, but being too cowardly to tell his live in boyfriend that he loved him...

Remus tapped his Muggle razor against the rim of the sink then bent to wash his face, Sirius admiring the view as his briefs pulled tight around the curves of his arse. Remus lifted his head and caught Sirius' eye in the mirror, giving him a knowing look that said, 'I saw that' as he reached for a towel.

He dried his dripping face, turning to gaze speculatively at Sirius who cocked his head in question. Remus smiled and moved to stand between Sirius' legs, slinging the towel around his neck and pulling him in close.

'I love you,' he said firmly, using the towel to drag Sirius in for a kiss. 'I love you.'

Sirius couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. He just stared at Remus - his eyes glistening with tears he'd later deny, his mouth working uselessly. Remus put a finger against his lips and kissed his nose.

'I know,' he said then he straightened. 'Now, I'm making pancakes. You in?'

Sirius nodded, watching Remus' arse as he left the room, his lips slowly turning up into a wondrous smile as his heart pounded out a fast and furious beat...

he loves me, he loves me, he loves me

5.

'Are you alright?' Sirius asked, sliding in behind Remus to sit on the bed, his hands cupping Remus' shoulders.

Remus twisted around to smile at him, his wan and pale face lighting up. 'I'm fine,' he said softly. 'My back is aching a lot today.'

Sirius winced in sympathy, knowing how knotted up Remus' lower back muscles got. 'Want me to rub it?' he offered, but Remus shook his head, shifting on the edge of the bed, his hands curling protectively over his swollen stomach.

'No, thanks,' he said with a quiet grunt. 'I'm going to have a hot shower in a moment. That'll help.'

Sirius nodded absently, his palm stroking over the pronounced curve below Remus' waist. He leaned in and kissed Remus' nape, hand tangling in the light brown hair, then he laughed when he felt an adulating movement beneath his hand. He grinned up at Remus, but his smile soon faded at the expression on Remus' face.

'What is it?' he asked urgently as Remus moaned and doubled over, clutching at his stomach. 'Remus?'

'Oh, I think... I think it's... Oh, shitting fuck, that hurts!'

'Gods, it's early,' Sirius cried, leaping to his feet and wavering indecisively. 'What do I do? I... I'll call Lily...'

'No, you bloody knob! Get the Emergency Portkey. Now! Owowow!'

0o0

'He called me a self-absorbed prick.'

'I know, Sirius.'

'He said it was all my fault he got pregnant.'

'I heard.'

'He said that I was never to put my dick near his...'

'Yes, I'm still traumatised by that one.'

'Do you think he's okay? Why won't they let me in?'

'Could have something to do with you threatening the Healer with an Unforgivable when he wouldn't give Remus more pain potions then fainting when they told you how they were going to get the baby out.'

'They were going to slice him open in front of me!'

'How did you think it was going to come out, you prat? Same way it went in?'

A baby's loud, indignant cry carried out to the hall and Sirius' gawped. 'James, that... Is that...?'

'Sounds just like you,' James teased, standing and then hauling a stunned Sirius to his feet. 'Welcome to the club, mate. Get ready to hear that -' The baby let out a particularly strident wail, '- every few hours for the next six months.'

'It's beautiful.'

James snorted then gave Sirius a push towards the door of the delivery room. 'Get in there then, Dad.'

Sirius hesitantly pushed the door open and peered cautiously into the room. Remus lay, obviously exhausted, in the bed, his head rolling to the side when he heard the door creak.

'Hey,' he said faintly, offering up a tired smile. Sirius gulped then gave him a smile in return.

'Hi,' he replied, moving quickly to the side of the bed and taking Remus' hand. He raised it to his mouth and kissed Remus' knuckles. 'How are you?'

'I'm okay,' Remus told him, stroking a finger over Sirius' stubbled jaw. 'Bit sore, but they've given me the good pain potions now.'

Sirius chuckled but his laughter was cut off by a sound of discontent from the basket on the other side of Remus' bed. Sirius took a deep, hitching breath as he tentatively moved around the bed. 'Remus...'

'It's a girl,' he said, putting out a hand to rock the basket. He glanced up at Sirius, a cheeky glint in his eye. 'And she's definitely yours. Looks just like you.'

'Was there ever any doubt?'

'Weeell...'

'Arse.'

'Oi, none of that language in front of your daughter, thank you.'

Your daughter. The words resonated in Sirius' mind and he smiled as he finally caught a glimpse of the wriggling, red-skinned baby under the yellow and green blankets.

'Oh,' he breathed, his eyes burning with sudden tears. She did look exactly like him: dark tufts of hair, identical nose, cheekbones, chin... He thought that perhaps her mouth came from Remus, though.

Sirius reached out slowly and touched the back of her tiny hand with the tip of his finger. Her hand shifted at the light touch and her fingers curled possessively around the digit. He was startled by the strength of the grasp and looked up at Remus in delight.

'She's perfect,' Remus told him, staring, rapt, down at the squirming infant. 'Strong and healthy and just perfect, despite her unusual parentage.'

Sirius smiled in relief and lowered his gaze to his daughter once more. She was glorious. He glanced back up at Remus who was watching him with a serene smile. Sirius stretched out a hand and pulled Remus in for a grateful kiss of thanks - for giving him love, for giving him a daughter, for giving him a life.

Remus chuckled a little as he let Sirius go. 'You're welcome,' he said then leaned back against the cushions and closed his eyes.

...and the One Time Sirius Turned the Tables

1.

Sirius settled a sleeping Emily into her crib then lifted his arms above his head, arching his back and groaning as his muscles stretched. 'Want me to rub that for you?' Remus asked from behind him, wrapping his arms around Sirius' chest.

'I've got something you can rub...' leered Sirius, canting his hips back to press against Remus' groin.

Remus laughed and dropped an open-mouthed kiss against Sirius' nape. 'Later,' he said, voice full of lewd promise, and Sirius arched an eyebrow.

'I'll hold you to that.'

Remus winked and released him, walking to the bed and sitting down with a sigh. 'I'm thinking of taking a nap while Emily's down,' he said then patted the mattress. 'Want to join me?'

'In a minute,' Sirius said, sliding a hand into the pocket of his jeans. 'There is something I think we should talk about first.'

Remus' forehead creased as Sirius crouched in front of him. 'Sounds serious,' he said hesitantly. 'No pun intended.'

'You know me better than anyone else,' he began, slipping his hand into Remus'. 'And, while I love that you do, it means that I can't ever surprise you. You know what I'm going to say before I say it.'

Remus gave him a nervous smile. 'Not this time,' he said, shifting uncomfortably. 'Sirius, is everything alright?'

'I just think that - what with our unexpected surprise...' He glanced towards Emily's crib and then looked back at Remus, 'we should reevaluate our relationship.'

Remus blinked once, twice, three times before he managed to choke out, 'What?'

Sirius shrugged. 'Are we really happy with the way things are?'

'Sirius...'

'And when I started to think about it, I realised that I'm not.'

Remus stared at him, face disbelieving, and Sirius hid a smile as he moved so he was balancing on bended knee.

'So this is me, doing something about that, doing something surprising.' He pulled his hand from his pocket, opening his clenched fingers to reveal a platinum ring. 'Remus Lupin, would you do me the honour of bonding with me?'

Remus' mouth hung open, all his breath rushing out in an audible whoosh. Sirius bit back a slightly hysterical laugh as he waited for some indication...

'Remus?' he asked, unable to stop himself.

Remus' mouth worked, but nothing came out. Finally, he nodded vigorously and held out his hand, and Sirius grinned broadly as he slid the ring onto Remus' finger. He bent and kissed the silver-coloured band then looked up at a still-speechless Remus.

'I can't tell you how good it feels to be on this side for once,' he teased, getting a slap on the arm in reply before Remus pulled him in for the promised later.

No words necessary.

fin.