A Love Unspoken

I floated soundlessly beside the bed and watched him sleep peacefully. His shirt was still off, revealing the bandages that covered his chest, stomach, and arms. The wounds had finally quit bleeding and his dressings remained white, thank the Goddesses. The shock hadn't quite left me yet that he remained alive, even after loosing so much blood. Never in my life had I seen someone that injured, and yet he continued to fight. An involuntary shiver ran through my body at the memory…

"Link!" I shouted. "Do you see the glowing spot on it's back?"

Link leapt back from the monster, sword and shield at the ready. "Yes, Midna!"

I winced as the dragon made a lunge for him that he dove away from. "Aim for that area! It's the weak spot, the glow is from the magic! If you use your clawshot, it should draw you in!"

Link said nothing as he immediately began following my direction. I watched as he pulled out his weapons and used them to climb higher and higher towards the sky. The vast number of pillars that surrounded us seemed to work to his advantage. I was thankful.

He had a knack for what he was doing, that much was evident. Watching him, he made it look so effortless to clawshot his way towards the dragon, avoiding its fire (although I myself held my breath as though at any moment Link would come crashing down to the ground, completely ablaze), jump onto the dragon's back and use that sword of his to slash it to pieces. It kept trying to buck him off but he held strong.

They continued like that for an agonizingly long time. It was almost too much to bear, watching him cling for his life on the back of that monster. I wanted nothing more than to get up there and help. But in my state...in my impish form... A growl suddenly escaped my lips -- but got caught in my throat when I heard Link cry out. My eyes grew wide when I realized what happened. Link had lost his grip and slipped down the back of the dragon and was now hanging off the tail.

"Link!" I cried.

The dragon seemed to catch on as well. It immediately began flying full tilt towards a pillar and at the last second turned so sharply its tail lashed out. I shut my eyes against the collision it was about to make but Link's scream of pain still penetrated my ears. I chanced a look and with horror I saw the dragon flying to do it again. I rushed towards them, not sure what I was going to do, but I wasn't fast enough. Link slammed into the pillar again, sending a tremor down its body, his cry echoing into the night. However, just before I could make it to them he pulled out his clawshot and miraculously maneuvered so that he was once more upon the dragon's back, slashing and stabbing in a blur.

"Yes!" Triumph rang out in my voice. I watched them with anxious eyes and then the dragon gave a loud wail of pain and defeat. I gasped when suddenly the dragon fell to the ground with an earth-shattering boom and Link stumbled and rolled off its back. He slowly staggered over towards me, his face screwed up in pain, body bent awkwardly. Link was badly wounded.

I flew towards him. "Oh Link…" I whispered as he dropped down to his knees. I knelt beside him, gently brushing his hair from his eyes.

A deafening shriek brought our attention back to the dragon. It was sucking in its last breath and a slight scream escaped my lips. Link growled under his breath as he got to his feet before me, swaying slightly on the spot. He brought up his shield as though that would help any.

"No Link, get back down!" I cried, jumping in front of him. "You can't…it won't help!"

"Move behind me, Midna!" he yelled back, his voice strained. Behind me I heard the dragon grow deathly silent -- we were out of time. I slowly turned around in time to see the blaze of fire erupt from its mouth and I threw my arms out, trying to conjure as much magic as I could to protect us both. The heat engulfed us followed by pain so excruciating I couldn't breathe. Behind me Link let out a roar unlike anything I had ever heard and he fell to the ground. When the fire had stopped I too dropped down, utterly exhausted, knowing that could have been much worse had I not used what all I could to shield us. However, the dragon was finally dead.

I crawled towards Link who was not moving. My heart started pounding erratically and fear filled my core. He was lying on his side with eyes closed but as I came upon him I saw he was still breathing. But only just. I knew he had but moments left before the cruel hands of death extinguished his bright and perfect light. I moved to transport us both to Kakariko so the old native could heal him when a loud screech froze me in place.

My eyes slowly raked the form that had just appeared behind me. Zant. His Twilit monsters hovered just behind him, constantly scanning the area for danger and pausing the leer at me every few seconds. But I had eyes only for Zant.

"My dear Midna," he drawled, his mask opening over his abhorrent mouth. "I would have thought you'd have come to your senses by now and joined me in ruling the Twilight."

Rage built up within me like the dragon's fire. "Dream on you worthless creature! I am not a mindless tool you can control and I will never join you!"

He chuckled without humor, a dark and frightening sound. "Ah but you will."

I scoffed. "Like Hell I will. I would die a thousand deaths before taking up arms with you to rule."

Zant ignored my emphasis on "rule" and continued. "Just you wait, little Midna. You have no idea that within my hands I have the tool to break you. You shall see what I have in store for you, and I can promise you will come to light," he paused for a moment, "or Dark, rather." He smirked at his own joke.

As I moved to reply I heard a soft groan on the ground below me. I hadn't realized I had floated up to match Zant's height and I dropped down once more to Link's side. Panic shot through me as Link began to awaken. He couldn't know Zant was here -- he would want to fight him. Link never seemed to grasp his own weakness and always tried to fight when he hadn't the strength.

"Mid…na…" he croaked, his blue pools fluttering open.

I couldn't stop the feeling that swelled within me as he said my name, me being the first he wanted to see. I heard Zant chuckle once more but I ignored him. Though I did wonder why he didn't just kill Link and I now -- it would be the most opportune time. We both were too weak to fight him. As Link's eyes met mine and the dizzying feeling washed over me once more, realization hit.

Zant knew. That was his tool, his weapon he was going to use against me to make me join him. Terror seized me and the air whooshed out of my lungs as if I'd been struck.

"Ah, the Light Hero awakens. Splendid."

I watched Link's eyes flash in confusion before he hissed and narrowed his eyes. "Zant," he whispered.

Zant tutted. "You say my name with such malice, Hero."

Link began to pant as he tried to force himself from the ground. I grabbed onto his shoulders to try to stop him. "Link, don't! You're too weak."

A growl was reverberating in Link's throat. "Stop, Midna. I can handle him. Get back."

Emotion built up within me at his tone. He truly believed he had the strength to protect us, to destroy Zant right here and now. I almost couldn't fight the urge to scream. "Link, you can't. You don't know the power Zant has."

"Yes, Hero. Listen to your imp. She's very wise, and she seems to be overly concerned with your well-being." Zant chuckled; it was a cruel sound, the sound of someone who was ready and willing to exploit another in the harshest of ways. "Perhaps you should heed her warnings?"

"She's not an imp!" Link tried and failed to yell. His words only came out as harsh, gravelly whispers.

"Midna, look how he defends you!" Zant's tone was nothing less than mocking. "No wonder you feel as you do."

I flew to his height in a blur. "You have no idea what you're talking about. You think you do but in truth you know nothing." I was lying through my teeth.

He could tell. "Is that so, Midna?" His eyes flicked to Link and I couldn't help but turn as well. Link had finally manged to struggle to his feet and was leaning heavily on his sword. I positioned myself in front of him in case I needed to protect him. "So it would make no difference to you if I showed Link the things you've been dreaming lately?"

My heart stuttered to a stop before kicking into hyper speed. How could Zant have known that? That kind of power had never existed before in our world! He...he must have been lying.

Zant leaned his face towards mine. "I'm not," he whispered. "My God has granted me these powers." He straightened and raised his voice. "I will reveal everything to him, Midna. And it will disgust him. After all, you are but a mere shadow in their world. I've told you this before. You can never be to him what you wish you could be, what you yearn to be."

Link's breathing was uneven and loud. "What's are you talking about? Stop toying with us and let's do what you came here to do!"

Zant chuckled. "Oh young Hero, you have no idea how much I wish to do just that! However, I'm a man of reason and I'll be on my way without revealing anything...if your precious Midna will cooperate."

Malice was burning in my mouth like bile. "What do you want?"

His mouth turned up in a smirk. "You know what I want. You. If I had you by my side, we would be an unstoppable force! Everything would fall to Darkness -- we'd be able to blot out this horrid light with our glorious Twilight."

A growl ripped through the air behind me. "No, Midna! He has nothing to threaten us with. It's just a game! She'd never join you Zant."

My mind was reeling. If I were to surrender to Zant, everything would be over. Link's world would drown in Darkness and all in it would perish. I couldn't allow that to happen. But if I were to deny Zant, the secret I'd been keeping for months would become known. Zant would reveal every last thought, emotion, and dream for Link to see. He would look upon me with disgust, just as Zant said, because I was nothing more than an imp. He would never see me the way I saw him... I could feel hot tears pricking at my eyes, threatening to escape.

"Midna, the thought hurts you, I can see," Zant said in mock sympathy. "Why draw this out? You know what you want. It's for him to stay oblivious. Who cares if it rips your heart out every day to see him pine after that other girl? Who cares if you sometimes can't breathe when he's around because you feel so strongly? Who cares that when he looks you in the eyes, you're abruptly overcome with dizziness. No...you can suffer in silence for the sake of his happiness. Together, you and I can make that happen. Just take my hand," -- he offered his hand -- "and your abhorrent secret, you're undying devotion, will remain yours. But if you refuse me, I will tear it away from you and give it to him."

"Midna..." Link asked in confusion. "What's he talking about?"

With a shaking breath, I knew what I had to do. There really wasn't a choice. Zant was right. "You're right," I said to him. A triumphant smile stretched across his face. "I can suffer." His smile slipped. "Zant, if I join you, he will cease to be. All those in this world would die and he would go with them. I would rather him look at me as though I am the most vile thing he's ever seen," I stuttered over those words, "than to have him not exist at all. You played your game well, Zant. But you lose. I. Will. Not. Join. You."

Zant's teeth slammed together as his frame began to shake. A sudden scream burst from his throat and his fury shook the pillars and ground around us. I shut my eyes and braced myself for the onslaught I knew was coming. Before I took my next breath I felt a pain unlike anything I'd ever felt before. A white light flashed before my eyes and it felt as though someone had speared me through my head and was rooting around in my brain. I screamed in agony and fell to the ground. My entire body seemed to be on fire, especially my eyes. I was aware of nothing else except the pain that seemed to grip my every nerve ending. I suddenly wondered if this would kill me... I hoped it would. Anything to escape this.

And then I noticed something. The white light was no longer what I saw, but in its stead were visions. Of me. The actual me, not the imp-like form I was currently trapped in. A gasp from behind me showed me I wasn't the only one seeing this. I noticed Link was there too. We were together in a field of Light, sitting in the shade of a tree. It seemed so peaceful. But then I noticed that we were holding hands. That's when I knew what was happening.

We were kissing now, playfully at first but before long it turned lustful. I tried to shut my eyes to blot it out but discovered they were already shut. Opening them did not stop the vision either. I had to watch. Link and I were now in the passionate act of lovemaking -- "Ah-h..." I heard Link sputter in shock behind me -- and I felt the tears begin to cascade down my cheeks. I tried to block my mind from Zant but that only proved to be more painful as he shoved me out with whatever power he was wielding.

A few agonizingly long minutes later, I watched Link and I fall away from each other in a panting, sweaty heap. He cradled me in his arms, brushed my sticky hair back from my face, and whispered he loved me. I tried not to respond but my dream-self was unaffected by my pursed lips, and told Link I loved him too. I stared into Link's eyes, warm with adoration all triggered towards me. It was torture and I whimpered.

The visions continued like this for what felt like an eternity. Every single thought I had ever had about Link was laid out for him to see. His beauty. His goodness. His love for all things. Zant even showed him what I was like when I found myself broken over him. There I was, imp-like and hidden from sight, racking sobs shaking my small frame as I thought over and over again how he'd never love me. I was thinking of his reaction if I were to ever reveal my love for him and I watched as Link turned away from me in shame. He said, "I'd never see you that way Midna. You're an imp and I'm a Hero. How could you even think that?" There was yet another gasp from behind me and I couldn't hold back a sob. Link was never meant to see any of this. I wondered how awful this must be for him... He was probably wishing I would have just gone with Zant and spared him this embarrassment. Suddenly that thought repeated itself before my eyes and I gasped. Zant had access to those too? I quickly quieted my mind and waited for the visions to lift from my eyes and the pain to dissolve from my body.

After what seemed like another lifetime later, I noticed the visions beginning to slow and the pain beginning to recede. I was able to concentrate more on my surroundings now instead of the fire that engulfed my mind and body. I noticed an odd panting and for a moment I thought it was Link but he was silent. The panting was coming from in front of me and I realized suddenly that it was Zant. He was tiring! With one final push, I managed to force his hot spear from my mind and the pain was gone was quickly as it came. Zant flew backwards from the force my magic. I was the one panting now, exhaustion settling over me like a thick blanket. I was shaking.

Zant stared at me, his lips set in a hard line. He was extremely fatigued, I could see. That magic clearly took a lot out of him. "Master..." he whispered to himself, though his voice carried to me easily. "You never told me I'd be powerless afterwards..." He took a deep, staggering breath and looked over at me. "Until we meet again, dear Midna." With a pop, he disappeared.

I collapsed to the ground in relief, wiping my tears and sweat away before turning to Link. He was staring at me with huge blue eyes, his own brow matted in sweat with cheeks flushed. As I steeled myself for whatever was coming I noticed his clothes were quickly turning crimson with blood and he was deathly pale.

"Midna..." he croaked.

I rushed to him. "Link, I'll get you to Kakariko, don't worry. The Shaman will fix you up in no time, you'll be fine!"

I was waving my hands around frantically when I felt his hands cover mine. "Midna, stop..." His voice was barely above a whisper and I began to panic.

"No Link, if I don't help you now, you'll die." My voice broke on that last word.

Link shook his head. "How could you think I'd be disgusted with you? You can't help you fall in love with."

His words struck home and once again those cursed tears sprang into my eyes. Of course he'd be heart-wrenchingly understanding. "Can't we do this later, Link? You're dying!"

His hand waved dismissively. "I'll be fine, stop being so dramatic. I want us to talk about this."

A growled under my breath. "Okay, okay. We'll talk about it all you want and you can turn me down in the gentlest way you know. But after you've been healed by the Shaman. Deal? You're no good to anyone dead. "

Link cocked his head to the right. "Midna...I'm not –" his groan of pain interrupted what he was going to say as his hands flew to his ever growing wounds.

That was it. "Okay, we're going now. Not another word." For once, Link complied. "This may hurt so brace yourself." I saw Link tense just before I transformed him into a wolf and warped us out. He was at the Shaman's door only moments later, out cold in human form.

That was...what...four days ago? Link had not awoken since he passed out on the Shaman's doorstep. I had hidden in the shadows while Ilia and the Shaman had worked ceaselessly on Link's injuries. They had been worse than I'd thought. It had taken a least a dozen blood-replenishing potions before Link had quit bleeding. The Shaman had also been giving him potions full of nutrients so he'd keep his strength up, even in unconsciousness. I knew I'd be forever grateful to that man for doing all that he did for Link. Even those silly little children had come to visit him and do everything they could to make him comfortable, like fixing his blankets, fluffing his pillows, or wiping his brow. I was the one to sit with him at night though, since no one else did. I found that hugely irritating. What if something were to go wrong at night and no one around to help? However, so far nothing ever had. I guessed the Shaman was confident Link would be fine.

I gently brushed the hair from Link's eyes and sighed. We had quite the conversation to have once he awoke and felt strong enough. It frightened me to think of how it might turn out. I was almost completely certain he'd reject me. After all, I had seen the way he'd looked at Ilia. She was the core of his existence, it was plain to see. But I couldn't help thinking that, after all the time he spent with me and Ilia loosing her memory, his feelings could've changed. Ilia may never recover, and that was something I know Link had considered. So maybe...just maybe...he'd tell me he could perhaps have feelings for me one day too. I just needed to give him time or...turn back to my original self first. Even though I tried to resist it, hope swelled in my heart. I placed my head in my hands and groaned.

"Midna?" said a voice, strong but thick with sleep.

I gasped and looked up. Link was staring at me with confused eyes, blinking sleepily. "Link! How are you feeling?" I asked.

He frowned at his bandages and shifted around a little, testing his range of movement before pain stopped him. I saw his face change as he found he could move around a great deal. "Stiff but otherwise not too bad."

I smiled. "That's good, I'm glad you're feeling better."

"How long have I been sleeping?" he asked, stretching his arms above is head to crack his shoulders and back.

The blanket slipped away from his chest and I had to remind myself to breathe as his beauty once again knocked me off my feet. "Uh...four days," I stuttered.

Link's eyes widened. "Wow, that long?" He frowned deeply and his brow furrowed in concentration.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

He shook his head. "I can't remember what happened. All I remember is the dragon. Did I kill it? What did it do to cause me such injuries?"

My breath stopped short. Link...didn't remember. He didn't remember anything. Not Zant. Not my memories flooding his mind. Not the feelings I have for him. Nothing. I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, if I was feeling relief or unbearable remorse. Before I answered him, I took into account Zant's state after he raped my mind. He was so weakened.... I had a strong feeling Zant would never try that again, even if he did find out Link had forgotten.

"You did destroy it," I said. "But it used its last remaining strength to use its fire blast. I was able to protect us to an extent but it wounded you pretty badly."

Link brought a hand to his forehead. "Man, no wonder I don't remember." His eyes flicked back over to mine and he smiled. "Thanks for your help."

My throat closed up for a moment. "You're welcome," I managed to force out. Although it pained me to lie, I knew it was better for him.

Link's eyes suddenly widened. "How's Ilia doing? Was she really worried about me? I should apologize to her... She shouldn't have to worry about me."

I had to swallow the lump in my throat to speak. He really did love her... "She was worried but the Shaman reassured her you'd be fine. She sat beside you everyday," my voice started to shake but I hid it well, "and did everything she could to make you comfortable."

Link's smile lit up his whole face and such a look came into his eyes I had to turn away. "Of course she did..."

I knew then I was never going to tell him the truth. He didn't know need to know how I truly felt so he wouldn't have to worry about letting me down, which I was certain now he would do. I knew it would put a wall between us and that wasn't something we could afford. We still had to destroy Zant and put everything right again. At that moment I decided that when we reassembled the Mirror and saved the worlds, I would find a way to destroy it once I'd passed back into the Twilight. It would be the best thing for everyone. I felt my heart shatter as I committed myself to the job.

I stretched my hands above my head and forced a yawn. "Well I'm beat. Now that I don't have to watch over you every night, I'm going to get some sleep." I paused. "Not to...hurry you along but don't forget we still have a mission to complete."

Link laughed. "I know, I'll get better just as soon as I can."

"Great. Have a good rest, Link."

"You too, Midna. And really, thanks for everything you did for me. It means a lot."

I nodded and disappeared into his shadow.