"Okay!" said an energetic Tomo, "Today is summer vacation and that means…. Summer Home Inspection! We're going to Yomi's today!"
"Oh no we're not. You're over at my place too often."
"Okay, okay," said Tomo, "Then we're going to Osaka's house today!"
"No," said Osaka, "I'd rather not. I mean that's why I left my house, it's summer vacation you know."
"Okay fine," said Tomo, "Then…. Summer Home Inspection! We're going to Chiyo's today! Yat…I mean, yay!"
"I'm leaving."
"Hey, hey! Where are you going Yomi?"
"I don't want to be seen with you two."
"Oh come on Yomi," said Tomo, "Three makes a rowdy bunch right?"
"Hey Mister," said Osaka, "What does rowdy mean?"
"Gah!" yelled Tomo, "Forget everything I said! That man is old, that man is bald, he might be a pedophile!"
"Oh my god!" said Osaka.
"Just turn away slowly and he might not see you."
"Summer Home Inspection!" Tomo whispered, "We're going to Chiyo's today! Yay!" Mizuhara started to walk off. "Oh come on!" said Tomo, "I was quiet that time!"
"It was still a little too rowdy for my taste."
"Excuse me sir," said Osaka, "What does rowdy mean?"
"Don't!" screamed Tomo, "That man has glasses, his hair looks like it hasn't been combed since the dawn of time, he's wearing a suit! He might also be a pedophile!"
"You're right!" said Osaka, "I should just turn gay to avoid dating a pedophile!"
"That's not what I meant at all," said Tomo, "Just be ridiculously judgmental and keep a forty five in your purse. That'll keep you safe!"
"That only works in the movies," said Osaka, "Hey, where's Yomi goin'?"
"I'm going to buy some cake to take over to Chiyo's house."
"Yay!" said Tomo, "Ice cream cake!"
"Ice cream cake!" said Osaka, "Hooray!"
"Yomi," said Tomo, "This is not ice cream cake."
"Shut up," said Yomi, "Twinkies were all I could afford."
"I thought you were just buyin' a snack," said Osaka.
"Well I wasn't."
"You didn't have to say that," said Tomo, "I mean we all understood that fact on our own."
"Where does Chiyo live again?" asked Yomi.
"She said that she lived in some mansion with a giant yard," said Tomo.
"We could just go back and buy a real cake," said Osaka, "I would pitch in and I'm sure that Tomo would help out too."
"But I used up all of my money to buy these Twinkies."
The three of them walked in a somber line towards Chiyo's house. The hot sun beat down on them from above. A strange humidity filled the summer air, making it even hotter. One of them, Tomo, seemed particularly upset.
"I still can't believe what happened," said Tomo.
"Not this again," said Osaka.
"But it makes me feel so terrible…in my stomach!"
"Tomo," said Yomi, "No cares about how you couldn't buy a cheeseburger."
"I still can't believe that…I can't have a cheeseburger!"
"No one can, they're out of patties."
"Oh hey we're here," said Osaka.
"Hello," said Chiyo.
"Oh man," said Tomo, "This place is filled with expensive stuff isn't it?"
"Um, I don't think so," said Chiyo.
"What are we going to do this summer anyways?" asked Yomi, handing Chiyo a small package of Twinkies.
"What did you three have in mind? Are we going somewhere?"
"We can't go anywhere," said Tomo.
"Why is that?"
"We don't have any money," Tomo complained.
"I'm sure Chiyo has money," said Osaka.
"Oh yeah," said Tomo, "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Well," said Chiyo, "I could spend money on commoners…or we could go to my summer home for free!"
"Summer home?" screamed Tomo and Yomi.
"Why are we commoners?" asked Osaka, "I thought that was an English thing…."
"Okay," said Tomo, "We're all ready to go off to a summer wonderland right?"
"We didn't pack any clothes," said Yomi.
"None of us asked our parents if we could come," said Osaka.
"I did," said Chiyo, "That was when my father gave me the key to the family summer home."
"Okay," said Tomo, "Who invited Sakaki?"
"I did," said Yomi, "It will help to keep me away from you."
"Wait," said Sakaki, "That's the only reason I was invited on this trip?"
"No," said Yomi, "I'm just kidding."
"Fine," said Tomo, "But who invited these guys, why are these guys here?"
"Don't call us these guys!" said Yukari.
"I asked if they could take us over there," said Chiyo.
"Yep," Yukari smiled, "We're here to give you guys car rides. Sounds like Miss Takino is going to walk there."
"Uh…. Hooray! Car trip! We're going on a car trip!"
"Okay," said Minamo, "I'll take three people, and Yukari will take two people."
"Excuse me," said Chiyo, "But Yukari's car looks roomier than yours so why is she the one taking less of us?"
"How is her car roomier than mine?" asked Minamo, "I mean, one's an SUV and the other looks like a Civic who was attacked by a herd of baseball bats."
"But my car, I mean, my parents' car is more expensive," said Yukari.
"That's only because of all the dents you've had to remove from it," said Minamo, "Besides, the fewer fatalities the better right?"
"Huh?"
"Yukari has a knack for reckless endangerment."
"Gah!" screamed the girls, "Rock, paper—"
"Maybe we can fit everyone into my car," said Minamo.
"Yay," said Tomo, "We're here."
"Let's go swimming!" said Osaka.
"Sounds good to me!"
"Miss Sakaki?"
"Yeah Chiyo?"
"How do you get to be big like that?"
"Hwha?"
Oh come on, thought Minamo, what's with all the one pieces? I have big bucks riding on a photo opportunity!
"Ah," said Osaka, "Don't you just hate getting sand in your shoes Miss Sakaki?"
"Um, yes."
"And is that why you're standing over there in your street clothes on the lawn?"
"No," said Sakaki.
Argh! Minamo was becoming infuriated with her students at this point. Can't they do anything worth photographing? If I don't get pictures to my clients…someone who's probably a criminal will!
"Then why are you standing there?" asked Osaka.
"I had a traumatic experience on this beach," said Sakaki.
"When?"
"Five seconds ago."
"Well," said Yomi as she sat down on the couch, "What are we going to do now?"
"It's just not a summer vacation without horror stories," said Osaka.
"Do you know any?" asked Tomo.
"No I don't," said Osaka.
"Then summer nights are the time for dirty stories!" Tomo screeched, "Miss Yukari, tell us!"
Sakaki gently leaned towards Yukari, unnoticed by the rest of her friends.
"Now, now," said Yukari, "How irresponsible do you think I am?"
"Oh!" said Tomo. Sakaki slumped back into her seat. "Well then Miss Kurosawa, why don't you tell us something profane!" Sakaki gently leaned towards Minamo, unnoticed by the rest of her friends.
"Oh please," said Yukari, "If I'm not going to say something, there's no way goody two shoes over here is going to say anything. I mean I think that she's still a virgin."
As Minamo's fists started to ball up in anger Sakaki slumped back into her chair.
"When you have so many people in place," said Osaka, "You get murders and stuff. That's what happens, in a drama."
"But we're a comedy…."
"Victim number one would be Tomo." The "Wildcat" gulped. "Then," said Osaka, "One by one, y'all get killed. So you see…."
"Wait a minute," said Tomo, "You've told this story before."
"No she hasn't," said Yomi.
"Yes she did," said Yukari, "She even wrote a paper on it which she presented to the class. You need to pay more attention Miss Mizuhara."
"Let's just go blow something up," said Tomo.
"Yeah!" said everyone, except for Nyamo, the wet blanket.
"That was a great summer vacation," Tomo said to Kaorin, "Just look at these pictures."
"Okay," said Kaorin, "I couldn't go with you guys because I had astronomy…. What is this? You're saying that Sakaki went with you too?"
"Yep."
"Well then why the heck didn't I go?"
"But…I thought that you just said that…."
"NO!"
"Oh," said Tomo, "I don't know why that's in there. I mean, we didn't even sleep in the same room."
"What's this?" asked Kaorin.
"The Yukari mobile!" said Tomo.
"Oh," said Kaorin, "But who took these pictures?"
"Uh, I think Miss Kurosawa took one of them but…."
"So," said Kurosawa, "That'll be 40,000 yen."
"Um, that's a little pricey isn't it?"
"Hey," said Nyamo, "You get what you pay for."
"There are only twelve pictures."
"Yep."
"I'm going back to teach my class," said Kimura.
"Okay," said Minamo, "More for me."