Happy Holidays everyone. Check out my naughty Christmas one-shot, too. :P


Alexandra Udinov opened the window and leaned out. She laughed and looked up. "I think I see Santa Claus taking a test run for tomorrow."

Nikita laughed and grabbed her lover's belt dragging her into the car again. "It's probably a plane you goof."

"Grinch."

"Pollyanna."

"Ebenezer."

"Cindy Lou Who."

Alex's mouth formed an O as she turned toward the driving Nikita. "I am now impressed."

"What?" Nikita shot a look at the younger woman before returning her attention to the road before them.

"You know who Cindy Lou is." Alex cracked a smile and rolled the radio dial looking for Christmas carols.

Nikita sighed happily. "God I love this."

"What? Road trip?"

"Seeing you... excited. Happy. Not looking to shiv anyone."

"Aw. You're being so sweet. So where are we going?"

"I didn't tell you?" Nikita asked with an innocent look.

"No. You didn't."

Nikita laughed. "That's right. I didn't tell you because I'm not going to tell you." She snarled playfully as Alex poked her in the ribs. "Ow. You brute."

Alex giggled uncontrollably. "We have a sign."

"And it's a sign we need." Nikita took the exit and began rolling through a town. She smiled. "There's our boat."

Alexandra's eyes narrowed. "Boat... the water is chunky."

"Hudson Bay, and the boat takes us to our absolutely invisible, absolutely technology free Christmas home." Nikita smiled broadly at Alex and took her hand. "Not even Birkhoff could find us here."

Alex shook her head. "When that boat sinks the only ones who'll find us are the sharks. Are there even sharks in the ice bath?"

"Hudson Bay has only rare sightings of sharks."

"What shark in their right mind would want to look for dinner here? Why not Florida where the food is hot and has no wrappers?"

Nikita smiled. "I can tell. You're warming up to the idea."

Alexandra's smile spread slowly. "No Division. No Birkhoff. There better be a fire."

Nikita parked the car and led the way down the dock with a duffel over her shoulder. "Big fire."

Alex caught up and wrapped her arm around the other woman's waist. She smiled as she thought of the gift box in her pocket and giving it to Nikita as they sat in front of a fire far from the troubles of their world. Hopping onto the icy deck she grabbed a rail and steadied herself as the Captain harrumphed and revved his motor.

Twenty minutes later, he cursed. Nikita drew close, her brows tight. "What's wrong?"

"Look at the bleedin' radar. Something just blew in over us." He tapped the screen that was now a solid mass."

"The weather report was clear."

He shot her a nasty look. "Weather report 'pears to be wrong." The boat tossed heavily to the side. "What the hell?" he grumped. "We're turning back." He cursed again. Tapping the compass he stuck his head out the window to catch a mouthful of snow. "Get below," he growled.

Nikita went below and came up behind Alexandra who was turning a small box over in her hands. Alex tucked it into her pocket. She stood and turned only to fall into a wall mounted tool chest as the boat was smashed at by a wave. Nikita grabbed her. "Grab the life jackets and the raft. We may need to bail out if the boat can't handle this."

Alex tossed a jacket to Nikita. "If the boat can't take it, how do we survive a raft?"

They both flew into the bulkhead as the boat twisted under them. They lost consciousness in one another's arms.

Alexandra pressed herself up, dumping ropes off her body. She looked down and checked Nikita's pulse. She sighed in relief and levered herself up, realizing the boat was tilted heavily based on the doorways and the rocking motions were gone. Alex decided to see what they were up against before pulling Nikita clear of the hold.

She pulled the gun out of her belt as she spotted the dead Captain at his wheel. Alexandra frowned and looked out the windshield at the rocky shore they were lodged on. She saw lights, a lot of lights through the trees. She looked down and checked her weapon. Damned if she was going to go into the unknown without a firearm. She patted her deep pocket for another clip only to realize it was empty. No clip, no gift. "No, no, no," she whispered. There was nothing for it but to find it later.

Alex lowered herself to the shore and crept into the trees. She heard a booming voice. "Hell of a test, we almost caused a waterspout the size of Honolulu."

"We'll adjust it, Sir." she heard a second voice.

Her eyes were big. Someone caused that?

"Dear, why must you compare everything to Honolulu?" came a sweet grandmotherly voice.

"Because we moved south to get some nicer weather, and its still not Honolulu," the deep voice griped.

"Let's go inside by the fire dear and talk about a vacation. You can do more tests later."

"Yeah go inside," Alex whispered before realizing that she was eyeball to eyeball with a reindeer who horked his surprise. She shushed at him and moved to the side. There was a large home there nestled in the trees. Reindeer moved slowly around pushing at the snow looking for tidbits. Her eyes narrowed. "For God's sake... there's even a freakin' sleigh." She supposed it was a ski lodge, at least in a cover kind of way, but somewhere in the building was some serious bad ass waterspoutin' technology. She jumped as a hand landed on her shoulder.

Nikita raised her brow. "Jumpy?" She smiled as the younger woman gathered her in a hug. "Love you too, Alex."

Alexandra backed up. "The boat crashy thingy? The whatever crashed the boat? Came from here."

Nikita shook her head. "This is a vacation. Someone has to pay for wrecking my pro-"

"Your what?" Alex asked, turning her head to try to catch Nikita with a bit of light on her face.

She shook her head and tugged them both down. A very small man in a traditional ugly Christmas sweater and green pants padded to the sleigh and started going over it. Nikita and Alexandra circled the other way around the house.

They soon found themselves at a window. A kitchen was bustling with a trio of short people on stools standing over copper cookware. A much taller but still short grandmotherly type pulled rolls out of the oven, slapping the fingers of her apparent husband in his red trousers and suspenders. "Gak. It's Norman Rockwell land." Alex whispered before continuing her search for a door.

Nikita signalled as she caught sight of a string of lights that ran over the top of a door just beyond a large snow covered bush. Alex nodded and followed. She looked around as Nikita slowly turned the knob and entered. They found themselves watching toys walk, roll, and hop off shelves into a giant sack. They looked at one another, and then back at the sack.

"Hey!" came from a side entrance to the room.

Alexandra held up a gun. "Hold it right there."

The short man lifted his hands. "You are being Naughty," he said firmly.

Nikita patted him down. "What is this place?"

He looked at her and frowned. "This is Santa's Workshop."

Alex's gun switched aim as the grandfatherly man came in. "This is my workshop. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Your waterspout technology killed our captain and wrecked our boat. Where's the weapon?"

Santa glared at the cringing elf. "I told you not to take it over the water near Churchill." He turned to them. "Alexandra? Nikita?" He held up his hands. "This is all a big misunderstanding."

"How do you know our names?" Alex barked.

"Nikita, despite trying circumstances, stays on my Nice list," he offered quietly.

Nikita's eyes narrowed. "And Alex is on the Naughty list then? Santa Claus." she ground out the last.

"Santa Claus?" Alexandra repeated. She shook her head. "Wait...Nikita killed my dad and I'm on the Naughty list?"

"Circumstances," he offered with a shrug. "You tend to be a bit more morally flexible when there are choices offered Alexandra."

"Still doesn't explain the spout," Nikita noted, placing her hand on the angry looking younger woman's shoulder.

Santa shrugged. "Sled, it's been a bit...buggy. Theodore upgraded it. His nephew is taking care of it now." He waved his hand. "Put down the gun and I will take you where you are going. Even feed you first."

Alex's stomach grumbled in response. Nikita chuckled. "Okay but you need to be careful in the future. Division would love to have that sled."

Santa laughed heartily. "Percival will get what he deserves this year." He winked and touched the tip of his cherry nose. He waved Nikita through and held back Alexandra a moment. "Pull it out of the bag." He winked again and followed Nikita.

Alex put her hand into the sack wondering what she was supposed to pull out. She smiled as a familiar box was drawn from it. She trotted to catch up. She had a Nice girl to propose to tonight.