PHOENIX WRIGHT: ACE ATTORNEY
TURNABOUT SPELUNKYING
BY BARRYLAWN
one day phoenix wright was at his home reading about cave explorers, an how caves had several dangers like bats and snakes and old guys but there was money lots and lots of money
"wow if i get all that i can pay the rent and burgers"
this satified nick so he went outside and got on his camel and rode it to the caves of spelunkying
he went inside and used rope to climb down and landed in a room with a big door
he went through and he was in a big cave
however it was empty there was no money or bad guis or anything
"what the heck come on this is dumb"
phoenix found his way to the exit but there was literally nothing to get or to eat him either
he got in the next place and saw a light to the left
"who there" said phoenix and he went over and entered a shop
there was a wanted poster on the wall but before he could read it THE SHOP KEEPER BUTT A GUN TO HIS FACE
BANG
phoenix fell to the floor dead and his ghost came out
"wtf man im gonna prosecute you"
"but how, ur ghost and defense attorney too"
"fine ill defend MYSELF"
"gud luck ghostfucker"
_IN THE BLACK MARKET
the shopkeepers rearrange the place so it was a court
"court is in session for the trial of phoenix wright" said shoppyjudge
"i am ready ur beardness" said phoenixghost
"me too" said prosecutor shoppy
"alright" said shopjudge (who ill just call sudgey from now on) "make your opening statement"
shoppy took out document detailing the basics of the case
"phoenix wright stole my ropes my parachute my climbers gloves and my mattock. i shot him for justice."
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "shootings bad, ur suppose to report tis stuff to police"
"PAH" said shoppy "down here u got just urself. dats why we shoppys stik together"
"so in other words" said sudgey "killings legal as long as crime was commited"
"what crime was commited btw" said phoenix
"u threw a pot at me"
phoenix sweated
"an after i ran out to getcha u came in and stole teh shit i mentioned"
"DAMN" said phoenix this was a solid case
"is there evidence" said sudgey "i dont blame ya if theres none its not like we eve-"
"we do" said shoppy "this mattock was found at the bottom of the caves, it has the pricetag from my shop"
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "i just entered that level, how could i have brought it down there"
"u came back for me cause i was alive, an u left the mattock cause u wanted the gun, but u brought mattock first cause u wanted the gems i walls too"
"...(i guess i would have done that)"
"now i have an expert witness who shall testify" said shoppy and he called in a guy in a mask
"name and occpuation" said shoppy
"RON?!" shouted phoenix
"PLEEEEEEASE DONT SHOOOUUUT AT MEEEEE" cried ron delite
"what are u doin here"
"im here for money cause dessy keeps shopping"
"wow same except the part with dessie maybe"
"uh ok so we got your name from nick so just testify" said shoppy
"ughh ok"
===WITNESS TESTIMONY===
"i was on level 2 gathering gems"
"i had lots of money from level 1"
"i still have the money from this level i got like $12000"
"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "howd u get that much"
"there was lot in the walls, i used mattock to get them"
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "the mattock was STOLEN, HOW DID YOU GET IT?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH DONT YELL AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
the shoppys talked
"ORDER ORDER ORDER" yelled sudgey "witness what is meaning behind this"
ron took out dictionary but there WAS NO MEANINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
"your honor i think we can add definition for u"
"o and wat is it" said sudgey
"THE WITNESS IS THE THIEF"
"COUGH WAAAAT" shouted shoppy
"u have no PROOOOOOF" cried ron
"yes!" said phoenix "YOUR FACE IS ON THE WANTED POSTER, I SEE IT UPSTAIRS"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ME? WANTEDDDDDDDDDD? i hope thats for sex"
"NOT" said phoenix "this is want for your HEAD!"
"MY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD?!"
"so ron" said phoenix "admit it! you stole the mattock"
"ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no"
"WAT" shouted phoenix "U LIE, U STOLE THE MATTOCK JUST LIKE U STOLE THE URN"
"PLEEEEEASE LISTEN"
===ALLEGRO TESTIMONY===
"i-i-i-i-i found that mattock in a crate!"
"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "a creat?!"
"yes" siad ron "it had a price tag on it but its like 10 years old"
"dammit" said phoenix
ron continued
"besides i wouldnt want to rob him, ive got so much money"
"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "but u got all that money from THIS level"
"yea but thats teh thing..."
ron continued
"once i got all teh moeny i cudnt have gone back up, i still have all my ropes to prove it"
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "so u didnt have much money from 1-1. however there was way u cudve gone back up, and that is with the CLIMBING GLOEVS THAT WERE STOLEN"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed ron
the shoppys were like "ah ye syes yes yes yse"
"ORDER" shouted sudgey
"ron delite, u stole teh climbing gloves, then the mattock, then u took money and climb back up here for the shotgun... BUT I WAS ALREADY DED"
"BUT U HAVE NO PROOOOOF" shouted ron
"yea because YOU have it! LOOK! SHOPPY DOESNT HAVE HIS GUN ANY MORE"
"WOAH UR RIGHT" shouted shoppy
"and the only place where it can be is in the killers possession... YOURS, RON DELITE!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed ron and the shoppies put gun to his head
"whatever ill just reincarn8 and start over"
BANG
just then the game over screen appeared and phoenix pressed Z
AND HE WAS BACK AT THE START AND STUCK UNTIL HE COULD BEET OLMEC
"dammit" said nick and he didnt have ron either so he went to beat olmec and die 1000 times so he got an achievement
THE END