Disclaimer: The Characters in this story are not mine.
A/N: This is just a little story I wrote for no particular reason. Please comment! It would make me oh so happy.
Thank-you for reading!
I look down at my hands, clasped together, they don't even look like hands. They look like some long dead fish, the fingers are like horrible fins. I quickly brush the hair out of my eyes with my hand, I can see the little drops of moisture stuck to the strands. The snow is everywhere. My white overcoat is getting more and more heavier by the moment. I stand up and look around the park. I love the snow, and the rain. It drives the kids away, and I get some peace. Is it you that drives me to this very spot? I really don't know, I couldn't care less to tell you the truth. It's just a part of me now. You know I hate kids, remember the time those first years found us in the common room. That was all your fault. It was you who was making all the noise. If it hadn't been for my father and you being who you are, we would have became expelled without question. We had to stop after that. We had to continue hating. hate and love, pain and pleasure, it's all the same. The same vile filth that corrupts us. Not that we weren't corrupt anyway. I smile to myself and adjust my wind-blown scarf back into position. We were so good together. We could play each others games, I knew all your strengths and weaknesses, as you did mine. We both had the power to crush each other like a bug. And yet all that power faded. The constant charade of hate melted our true feelings. All I can hear is the wind and the sound of my footsteps into the snow. Love and Hate, Hate and Love. That is what we are, just a stupid feeling thats so intense it drags me out into a fucking park in the middle of winter. And for what reason? Thats the catch, you see, there is no reason. Me in the park, you and me. How can it matter? Not really caring about the direction I'm going in, I continue walking, eyes fixed on the untouched layer of snow that I'm ruining. Eh, what do I care? after a while it'll either melt away or some little shit will roll around on it. Make fucking snow angels, that'd be right.
I hate kids, they ruin everything. The other frequenters of the park fear me. No one approaches me, the parents look at me, a single man of 21 in the middle of a park, everyday now for almost a year. The snow has come through my coat, I can feel the stinging bite of cold on my shoulders, down my neck. I ignore it and continue on. There was only one kid, one stupid kid who looked a lot like yourself Potter, only much younger. He would of been about 4. He had the black hair, green eyes and glasses, no scar though. No, the scar is your trademark. He tugged at my coat and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was looking for something I had lost at graduation day. He blinked slowly and leaned closer to me. He whispered 'Did you ask the snow? It's everywhere. It can see everything.' If it wasn't for the fact that the little kid looked like you, I still think I would have picked him up drop-kicked him. But instead I replied, 'How can I depend on the snow for finding this thing? It looses it's nerve every year and melts away to nothing. Little Harry replied ' Yes, the snow does go away. But you go away more, every day. The snow and you both come back. Always, always coming back.' I was stunned by the little brat.
'So what is the snow saying?' I replied,
Little Harry answered. 'The snow says that when it looses anything, it goes back up inna clouds and finds it there.'
'How then do I go back? I cannot fly.'
Little Harry giggled and trundled around to the back of the park bench I was sitting on. He pointed to my back and said, 'You are snow, you don't have wings either yet you can still go up into the sky.' He trundled back and looked me in the face, His big, round green eyes magnified by his glasses. He pointed at my hair and at my skin, almost blue from the cold. 'You are snow, you can fly.' I blinked at this kid. Of course I could fly. It wasn't just my father that made me a seeker. I had seen this kid in the playground many times before, I'd seen the way his mother fixed his cuts and bruises. He was a muggle, there was no doubt. I asked for his name, another fucking Harry, he wouldn't tell me his last name, which is understandable I guess. I wrote it down and sent an anonymous letter to dumbledore that night, last night. That kid had a head on his shoulders. I can't wait to see what house he'll be in. Probably another bloody Gryfinndor, believing in honesty and all that shit. It wouldn't surprise me. So, here I am a wits end, Still the snow, still stuck with the image of you burned into my memory like a tattoo on my skin. I look around me, I have no idea how long I have been walking for. All I see is the snow, it's covered everything, I think of white cake frosting and wonder how many days it has been since I have eaten. The park is huge, I don't even know how big it is. It's not usually like me to wonder around but I need as much thinking space as possible. It's getting dark now, I'm walking down a long pathway There is a row of trees on either side. I can't make out anything past that, the snow is still falling. Up ahead I see a building, It's round and coated in a thick layer of snow, the door is hidden under a archway and it makes me think of an elongated igloo. As I approach the door I see that it's a observitory. I think back to the countless nights in the astronomy tower. I close my eyes and I can still taste your lips, i miss the passionate rolls on the floor the most, the contrast between the cold stone floor and your body drove me insane. I sigh, hell, i don't feel anything now, just the constant bitter cold, and even the freezing temperatures of mid winter are starting to have less of an effect on me. It's dark now, I actually prefer it this way, it suits me, it suits us. I don't really know what happened after graduation. I couldn't bring myself to owl you. You'd probably be sharing an apartment with your two friends. We both knew they wouldn't understand. If you had told them, they would have only pointed out my dark spots. They would have dragged you away from me. Meh, everything that held us together melted. The passion, the intensity, everything. Everything except for the longing. It's what makes me want to stop living and keep on going at the same time. It's what's reduced me to coming to this stupid park everyday. It's what is destroying me. The only light that i can see now is a little speck in the distance from a lamp post.
I look into a window in the observitory and see a small candle lit on the desk. The desk is cluttered with scrolls and quills. I raise an eyebrow, quills? Only wizards bother with quills. There is a man sitting facing me, cramped over the desk, he is frantically plotting out maps of constellations. The stars on the map race around in a cluttered frenzy. Curious as to what a wizard is doing in an observitory, I look around for any sign explaining what this observitory is for. I take one hand out of my pocket and brush the snow off part of the archway leading to the door. My hand stops suddenly as I hit something at elbow height. Ignoring the fact that my hand is stinging from the cold, I brush away all the snow and read the plaque.
Mr H. Potter
Master of the sky,
plotter of the heavens.
I grin to myself and walk slowly towards the door. Uncertain what to do, I lean against the archway and stop a moment. I can't see a thing now, What was once completely white from the snow, is know a dark pit of nothing. I take out a cigarette and light it, trying to get rid of the the aftertaste from being with Harry. The tiny bud of embers offering little warmth. I inhale once then throw it onto to the ground. I hear a small hiss as it makes contact with the snow. Without thinking about the consequences I knock, The last time i used that knock was the last night we slept together. I hear something made of glass smash. I guess he still remembers me. 'I..I..I'll get it!' He calls, sounding rather shocked. I guess he isn't alone then. He opens the door and looks directly at me. I grin to myself, I'm still taller. 'Malfoy?' He asks in a questioning tone, although he clearly knows the answer. I nod slowly and stare into his eyes. 'Well Potter, can't I come in? Harry adjusts his glasses nervously. Something tugs the hem of Harry's shirt I look down and see little Harry. Little Harry sees me and squeals. 'Snow! Snow!' I look at Harry in disbelivement. 'You had a kid?' I say, not wanting Harry's reply to my question to ever come. He nods. 'Didn't you know? A year after our wedding.' I cannot hide my dissapointment. ' You got married? Who the fuck to?' Harry shooed little Harry away and came outside, shutting the door behind him. 'Hermione. I'm sorry Draco, I thought you would have read it in the papers. Once she became pregnant, I couldn't just abandon her like that and well, I had my image to keep up. If the papers had found out... well, we had to do it. For little Harry's sake as well.' I don't remember hating anybody this much before. love/hate, hate/love, it's all the fucking same. 'Do you love her? or was she just some teenage fling like I was? Maybe if I had gotten pregnant you might have stayed with me instead' Harry looked stung. 'No, you don't understand. It''s too complicated.' I can barely contain my rage. 'So what were we then?'. Harry avoids looking directly at me. 'What we had was different. How could we live like that? We would of had to live a lie..and for what, Draco?'. Was there ever any hope? I guess not. I turn my back to him and start to walk away. I turn my head to face him and say, 'For love, I suppose.'
I still hate kids.
I still hate love.
A/N: This is just a little story I wrote for no particular reason. Please comment! It would make me oh so happy.
Thank-you for reading!
I look down at my hands, clasped together, they don't even look like hands. They look like some long dead fish, the fingers are like horrible fins. I quickly brush the hair out of my eyes with my hand, I can see the little drops of moisture stuck to the strands. The snow is everywhere. My white overcoat is getting more and more heavier by the moment. I stand up and look around the park. I love the snow, and the rain. It drives the kids away, and I get some peace. Is it you that drives me to this very spot? I really don't know, I couldn't care less to tell you the truth. It's just a part of me now. You know I hate kids, remember the time those first years found us in the common room. That was all your fault. It was you who was making all the noise. If it hadn't been for my father and you being who you are, we would have became expelled without question. We had to stop after that. We had to continue hating. hate and love, pain and pleasure, it's all the same. The same vile filth that corrupts us. Not that we weren't corrupt anyway. I smile to myself and adjust my wind-blown scarf back into position. We were so good together. We could play each others games, I knew all your strengths and weaknesses, as you did mine. We both had the power to crush each other like a bug. And yet all that power faded. The constant charade of hate melted our true feelings. All I can hear is the wind and the sound of my footsteps into the snow. Love and Hate, Hate and Love. That is what we are, just a stupid feeling thats so intense it drags me out into a fucking park in the middle of winter. And for what reason? Thats the catch, you see, there is no reason. Me in the park, you and me. How can it matter? Not really caring about the direction I'm going in, I continue walking, eyes fixed on the untouched layer of snow that I'm ruining. Eh, what do I care? after a while it'll either melt away or some little shit will roll around on it. Make fucking snow angels, that'd be right.
I hate kids, they ruin everything. The other frequenters of the park fear me. No one approaches me, the parents look at me, a single man of 21 in the middle of a park, everyday now for almost a year. The snow has come through my coat, I can feel the stinging bite of cold on my shoulders, down my neck. I ignore it and continue on. There was only one kid, one stupid kid who looked a lot like yourself Potter, only much younger. He would of been about 4. He had the black hair, green eyes and glasses, no scar though. No, the scar is your trademark. He tugged at my coat and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was looking for something I had lost at graduation day. He blinked slowly and leaned closer to me. He whispered 'Did you ask the snow? It's everywhere. It can see everything.' If it wasn't for the fact that the little kid looked like you, I still think I would have picked him up drop-kicked him. But instead I replied, 'How can I depend on the snow for finding this thing? It looses it's nerve every year and melts away to nothing. Little Harry replied ' Yes, the snow does go away. But you go away more, every day. The snow and you both come back. Always, always coming back.' I was stunned by the little brat.
'So what is the snow saying?' I replied,
Little Harry answered. 'The snow says that when it looses anything, it goes back up inna clouds and finds it there.'
'How then do I go back? I cannot fly.'
Little Harry giggled and trundled around to the back of the park bench I was sitting on. He pointed to my back and said, 'You are snow, you don't have wings either yet you can still go up into the sky.' He trundled back and looked me in the face, His big, round green eyes magnified by his glasses. He pointed at my hair and at my skin, almost blue from the cold. 'You are snow, you can fly.' I blinked at this kid. Of course I could fly. It wasn't just my father that made me a seeker. I had seen this kid in the playground many times before, I'd seen the way his mother fixed his cuts and bruises. He was a muggle, there was no doubt. I asked for his name, another fucking Harry, he wouldn't tell me his last name, which is understandable I guess. I wrote it down and sent an anonymous letter to dumbledore that night, last night. That kid had a head on his shoulders. I can't wait to see what house he'll be in. Probably another bloody Gryfinndor, believing in honesty and all that shit. It wouldn't surprise me. So, here I am a wits end, Still the snow, still stuck with the image of you burned into my memory like a tattoo on my skin. I look around me, I have no idea how long I have been walking for. All I see is the snow, it's covered everything, I think of white cake frosting and wonder how many days it has been since I have eaten. The park is huge, I don't even know how big it is. It's not usually like me to wonder around but I need as much thinking space as possible. It's getting dark now, I'm walking down a long pathway There is a row of trees on either side. I can't make out anything past that, the snow is still falling. Up ahead I see a building, It's round and coated in a thick layer of snow, the door is hidden under a archway and it makes me think of an elongated igloo. As I approach the door I see that it's a observitory. I think back to the countless nights in the astronomy tower. I close my eyes and I can still taste your lips, i miss the passionate rolls on the floor the most, the contrast between the cold stone floor and your body drove me insane. I sigh, hell, i don't feel anything now, just the constant bitter cold, and even the freezing temperatures of mid winter are starting to have less of an effect on me. It's dark now, I actually prefer it this way, it suits me, it suits us. I don't really know what happened after graduation. I couldn't bring myself to owl you. You'd probably be sharing an apartment with your two friends. We both knew they wouldn't understand. If you had told them, they would have only pointed out my dark spots. They would have dragged you away from me. Meh, everything that held us together melted. The passion, the intensity, everything. Everything except for the longing. It's what makes me want to stop living and keep on going at the same time. It's what's reduced me to coming to this stupid park everyday. It's what is destroying me. The only light that i can see now is a little speck in the distance from a lamp post.
I look into a window in the observitory and see a small candle lit on the desk. The desk is cluttered with scrolls and quills. I raise an eyebrow, quills? Only wizards bother with quills. There is a man sitting facing me, cramped over the desk, he is frantically plotting out maps of constellations. The stars on the map race around in a cluttered frenzy. Curious as to what a wizard is doing in an observitory, I look around for any sign explaining what this observitory is for. I take one hand out of my pocket and brush the snow off part of the archway leading to the door. My hand stops suddenly as I hit something at elbow height. Ignoring the fact that my hand is stinging from the cold, I brush away all the snow and read the plaque.
Mr H. Potter
Master of the sky,
plotter of the heavens.
I grin to myself and walk slowly towards the door. Uncertain what to do, I lean against the archway and stop a moment. I can't see a thing now, What was once completely white from the snow, is know a dark pit of nothing. I take out a cigarette and light it, trying to get rid of the the aftertaste from being with Harry. The tiny bud of embers offering little warmth. I inhale once then throw it onto to the ground. I hear a small hiss as it makes contact with the snow. Without thinking about the consequences I knock, The last time i used that knock was the last night we slept together. I hear something made of glass smash. I guess he still remembers me. 'I..I..I'll get it!' He calls, sounding rather shocked. I guess he isn't alone then. He opens the door and looks directly at me. I grin to myself, I'm still taller. 'Malfoy?' He asks in a questioning tone, although he clearly knows the answer. I nod slowly and stare into his eyes. 'Well Potter, can't I come in? Harry adjusts his glasses nervously. Something tugs the hem of Harry's shirt I look down and see little Harry. Little Harry sees me and squeals. 'Snow! Snow!' I look at Harry in disbelivement. 'You had a kid?' I say, not wanting Harry's reply to my question to ever come. He nods. 'Didn't you know? A year after our wedding.' I cannot hide my dissapointment. ' You got married? Who the fuck to?' Harry shooed little Harry away and came outside, shutting the door behind him. 'Hermione. I'm sorry Draco, I thought you would have read it in the papers. Once she became pregnant, I couldn't just abandon her like that and well, I had my image to keep up. If the papers had found out... well, we had to do it. For little Harry's sake as well.' I don't remember hating anybody this much before. love/hate, hate/love, it's all the fucking same. 'Do you love her? or was she just some teenage fling like I was? Maybe if I had gotten pregnant you might have stayed with me instead' Harry looked stung. 'No, you don't understand. It''s too complicated.' I can barely contain my rage. 'So what were we then?'. Harry avoids looking directly at me. 'What we had was different. How could we live like that? We would of had to live a lie..and for what, Draco?'. Was there ever any hope? I guess not. I turn my back to him and start to walk away. I turn my head to face him and say, 'For love, I suppose.'
I still hate kids.
I still hate love.