"The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world."
-Lemony Snicket
I don't mind how I look, really. I mean, if I wasn't the furry blue demon-boy, I just wouldn't be me. Sure, I get all sorts of looks from strangers, but I've insulated myself from those. (Mostly, it still hurts to know that people are afraid of me.) What really hurts is when people I consider my friends, almost my second family, are afraid of me. Oh, she tries to hide her reaction and she's probably telling herself to get used to me, but it's been months and she still glances away and flinches when I get near. (I know it's my looks, she doesn't cringe whenever Colossus enters the room.) I wish I could reach her, but nothing I do or say seems to work.
Take today for example. Wolverine and I were teasing her about trashing the mansion. (It wasn't really her fault; she was fighting a demon. She won too, all by herself!) However, she took it the wrong way and practically ran off in tears. I felt awful. Here I am trying to befriend her, and instead I make her cry! (Logan might have had something to do with it; she was a bit nervous around him too at first. I'm not sure if he noticed or even cared that much.) Later I tried to apologize, but I think I managed to make her even more uncomfortable. She barely listened to what I had to say and left at the first opportunity.
Everyone tells me she just needs more time to get used to me. I wish she didn't have to "get used" to me. (Besides, everyone else can look at me without jerking back.) I know I look different! I know I look like a monster, and that even the image inducer can't make me normal. I suppose in a way I'm luckier than Kitty. She just woke up one day and found out she was a mutant. I've always known I was different. After all, no one else in the circus was blue. They were my family though, and they accepted and loved me. I think that's why it hurts so much. I see all the mutants at the mansion as my second family, and it pains me to think that a family member is scared to be in the same room as me. I hope she comes to accept me soon. Even a small sign would be nice. It's just, I'm not sure how much longer my jokes can cheer me up…
AN: I might actually make this a collection of drabbles if I get enough inspiration. One from Kitty's point of view is bouncing around in my head.