Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the vampire Slayer.
A/N: Just to note, I am not a fan of the Angel/Buffy pairing in any way. But I did hear a song and it made me think of this.
Into the Mist
He always was one for exits. The big, you know I still love you exits. But this time I didn't want an exit. I just want him to stay. And the knowledge of him leaving filled my body with anger, fear, and sadness. I knew I wouldn't see him again, that after the fight he was leaving. But I couldn't help wishing, hopping that it was all just a bad dream. That I would wake from it. And he would be there, and I would be there. And it would be just us. But that was just a lie I was telling myself. A lie to make me feel better. He was leaving. Leaving me, "for the greater good," he said, "so you can have normal life." What did he think I was porcelain? I was the Slayer! I wasn't made out of a finely crafted glass. And the mark on my neck throbbed, oh God it throbbed. And it was all his fault. I knew it was, he was the only one who had ever made me feel this way. And when he told me he was leaving, just like that, no big exit, I worried.
I think he's going to go to LA, Cordeial says she might go too. But who knows with her. I think she still loves Xander, and there will be no big exit for her. Not for him. I sigh and look at the burring building and then something catches my eyes. It's him, in the mist. And he's staring at me, looking at me with his brown soulful eyes. Just daring me to come after him. But I don't, I know that he doesn't want it. So I let him stare at me, the mist obscuring him and when I look again he's gone.
He's always been one for big entrances to, always there when I don't want him. Always saving me, he brought me death. And he brought me life. In the end it was him who killed me, killed him. And in some ways I hate it, hate him for it. But in other ways I see the truth in what he did. He was punishing me for not going after him as he stood in that mist. Stood waiting for me to beg him to come back, but I know I couldn't. I'm not the begging type. Never will be.
He brought that amulet, knowing what it would do. I think I knew it too, so when I handed it to the other vampire. The one who I had come to love I knew I was doing it on purpose, because I need another one to take his place. Make another big exit, and then, prove to me that he was different. By making a big entrance and coming back from death, and then staying. But I know he would not, he would be just like him. And he would make the big exit, he might come back, he might talk to me at times, but he would never make that big entrance that I was needing. I knew I was giving him death. And it burned and hurt, but I let it happen.
So I sit and wait for him to make that big entrance again. To come back to me, to be the one who made that final big entrance and never leave. But he will never be the one, no matter how much I love, no matter how much I give, he will never be the one. And it is that, that sadness, that knowledge that will drag me down. For he is my one, the one who will never come back, my haunted love. Who disappeared into the mist and took me with him.
A/N: Okay I feel dirty now. Gotta go and write something that clears my soul. Review please?