Conscription
by Kuroi - Urufu
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Life's a bitch.
Naruto was supposed to be enjoying his life. He was finally of age, 21 years old to be exact, and he expected the adult world to open it's gates revealing the wonders of late night parties, girls, alcohol and more girls. Not that he didn't do any of that before, it's just that finally becoming a full fledged member of the society gave him better privileges, or so he liked to believe. However, his thrill didn't last long, due to a certain letter that he received a few days after his birthday. Most of his friends got one already so it's not as if he didn't expect it at all, he was just hoping that somehow, by some unimaginable chance, the dreadful letter would never reach it's destination. But it did.
Uzumaki Naruto received a conscription letter and on that day, he concluded that the adult life he so desperately craved for, was a cold hearted bitch. Being the perfect health he always was, there was just no way he could get out of this one. He also couldn't understand why there is such a thing as mandatory conscription in Japan when every civilized, democratic country knew very well what the meaning of 'free will' meant. Obviously his motherland didn't which is why he was currently on his way to the military camp, where he is supposed to stay a year, a fucking year! Pealing potatoes and basically being humiliated in the name of learning the meaning of respect, duty, honor and all that shit. Uzumaki Naruto did not like it, not one bit.
Naruto was looking out the window at the changing scenery, they were already driving for over four hours so it meant they should reach their destination soon. Not that he was thrilled about the idea but he was bored out of his mind doing nothing but staring out the window for the last hour and a half. Earlier at least Kiba would entertain him with some stories about rookies in the army, most of which Naruto hoped were lies, but the dog boy fell asleep not long after. The brunet didn't catch much sleep last night as they went to a farewell-freedom party last night. Both Naruto and Kiba, as well as Sai and Neji, tried to drink as much as they could last night, knowing there will be no booze in the camp. Oh the horror of the mere thought!
The only thing that the blonde was actually happy about was that he could go to the same military camp as his friends did – it's always better to have allies at a place like that. Kiba and Naruto already made a bet on a person who will lose his marbles first. In the end it was of course a choice between Sai and Neji as neither one of them was suited for a place like that. Not that Kiba and the blonde were, but they had their share of fights and physical exercise which made them more apt for what was coming. Eventually, to make it more fun, Naruto placed his bet on Neji while the brunet decided Sai would go crazy first. Who knows, maybe it will end up being funny after all – the whole conscription experience. The blonde was sure that a year from now they will be probably laughing their asses off, remembering all the stupid shit they got themselves into... Probably.
When the scenery became even more deserted, and Naruto got the feeling as if they were starring in an Australian horror, the bus stopped.
"Great" Naruto muttered to himself observing the most uninteresting scenery he had ever laid his eyes on. The camp itself wasn't anything big either, all surrounded by wired fence with only one gate serving as the entrance. It had four wooden barracks, which would accommodate around twenty or thirty people each. In the middle of the camp there was a building which was much better in shape and it actually looked like it has central heating, running water and all the other luxuries he would have to abandon for the upcoming year. Judging from the good state of the house, it had to be the place where all the sergeants lived. There were also four small houses on the rear ends of the camp, which also looked like the residence of the higher-ups. Behind the camp Naruto could vaguely see some training grounds or something like that, but it was too far away to see it clearly.
"Are we there yet?" Kiba asked yawning, his eyes half lidded.
"Finally decided to wake up sleeping princess?" Naruto said halfheartedly. They always had to bicker, it was like breathing to them.
"Whatever blondie. Wtf is this place anyway?" Kiba asked finally noticing the surrounding.
"It's a version of hell which you experience while still being alive." Neji, who sat behind Kiba, said while judging the terrain. "In one verse of the Bible I read that 'thou who enter the gates of Hell shall be deprived of'….
"Oh cut the crap Neji, we already know it's gonna be a living hell – you don't have to have to Bible-spell it to us." Naruto said. He really admired his friend Neji for being such a devoted catholic but lately it was dangerously close to fanaticism.
"So how was the trip for the two of you, seeing as Sai obviously sketched nude pics during the whole trip." Naruto asked still wondering how such a weird bunch of people like them managed to stay friends through all those years.
"Neji san gave me a lecture about the purity of the soul, but what would the world be without diversity, right Naruto kun?" Sai said smiling that eerie smile of his. He will never master the art of social adaptation.
"Man, I think you can make a real business out of that talent of yours Sai. Just imagine the bunch of guys, deprived of boobs for a year and you my friend, with that nude sketching talent of yours!" Kiba exclaimed as they were getting out of the bus, already counting the money he would make out of it. A friends profit of course.
When they were making their way towards the camp's gate, together with other unfortunate souls who happened to receive a conscription letter, they saw their seniors making their way out of the dreaded place. They were the ones who, exactly a year ago, came here just like them to serve for a year in this pretense of an army.
"Guys, listen up, let's try to dig for some information! I'm sure they can tell us something about surviving in this place." Naruto said in a hushed voice, his friends nodding in agreement. They started walking slowly so that soon they were at the end of the group. When the other guys were passing them Kiba gave it a chance.
"Um, hi guys, can you, by any chance, give as a tip or two.?" Kiba asked with hope in his voice.
"Hey boys, look at those rookies, they are trying to gather some info. They look scared like shit!" The tallest of the group they approached said, laughing loudly.
"Ok, let's say we give them some worthy information." Another one said, obviously being in good spirits due to the long awaited end of their compulsory conscription.
"So listen up rookies, first of all never do anything to bring the attention of any sergeant, especially during your first day. Try to be as ordinary as you can possibly be."
Thinking about the advice Naruto decided that it wasn't possible for them to act in an ordinary way. They're so fucked up.
"If you are in a need of some booze you can try and steal it out from the kitchen, but remember, do it only on Saturdays around 2 in the morning." A chubby guy added.
"And why is that?" Naruto couldn't help but ask.
"That's when Momo isn't out."
"Who's Momo?"
"A killer dog. Once one of us got brave enough to wander near the kitchen on a Friday night. Let's just say 5 stitches weren't enough." The chubby boy laughed while all of them went pale.
"Oh right, you know that you are going to get your hair cut?" The boy asked yet again.
"WHAT?" This time it was Neji's time to panic. He changed colors quicker than a chameleon and was near fainting.
"Hahaha, relax, I was just joking!" He said giving a reassuring pat to the half conscious Neji.
"Ok thanks guys, we better get going now, they are almost in, better not be late." The blonde said and just when they were about to head for the entrance a bluish haired boy said.
"There's one more thing, which is, Uchiha fucking Sasuke." The boy said.
"What, another dog?" Naruto asked.
"Heh, you can say that kiddo. It's a dog that gave Suigetsu here mental scars even stitches won't repair." The tallest of the boys spoke motioning to the blue haired one.
"Whaddya mean?" Kiba asked.
"You see Uchiha Sasuke is one of the sergeants, he's from the higher ups that live in the small houses in the rear end of the camp. He's quite young but he's the worst of them all. Not to all though. He has this habit of picking himself a prey at the first drill who he will torment till the very last minute he's required to be here. Every year there's the same routine and a new victim is being chosen."
"So how do we avoid him?" Naruto asked, not liking the idea of becoming a walking voodoo doll.
"Hard to say really, as I said at the beginning, it's best to keep your head down and stay out of trouble. Be as ordinary as you can be and you'll survive this place." The tall man said. Soon someone started calling after the four friends who were lagging behind.
"Better go or else you're gonna be left with the worst bunks in the whole barracks. Take care kiddos!" He said and they all waved to the poor souls that had yet to start their year of suffering.
----;_;----
"That's my bed!"
"No, it's mine, I was here first!"
"Well I was praying for the best bed and I believe my prayers were answered! What did you do to deserve it!"
The boy, seeing as he had no chance of reasoning with the weird guy, decided to give in and went to search for another bed. Meanwhile Neji, content that he followed the right path of brotherly persuasion, hopped on the top bed, above the one Sai occupied. Naruto was also on the top bed, the one right next to Neji and Kiba under him, which meant that the four friends managed to catch a good strategic point, all close to each other. Suddenly the door slammed.
"Attention soldiers! One of the sergeants will be here in five minutes for your first morning drill. Make sure that everything is clean, that your beds are made perfectly and that you stand in two rows along the corridor facing each other. Remember everyone has to stand near their beds clad in their soldier uniforms. Also open up the suitcases you brought for inspection of your belongings.!" A taller man yelled standing in the doorway to the barrack.
"Excuse me sir" one of the boys from their barrack, counting altogether 25 people, interrupted. "I though we had our luggage checked before we came here, in search of potentially dangerous objects and…"
"And what?! If I say that you are to open your baggage for inspection then you are to do that without further ado! IS THIS UNDESRTOOD!" the man all but hollered.
"Y…yes sir." The boy stuttered dumbfounded.
"Very well. I hope you have everything arranged in perfect order." He said and shut, or rather slammed, the door behind him. Everything became hectic after that.
"Fuck! Guys, you gotta help me with this one!" Kiba all but whined.
"What is it?" Naruto asked and they all turned their attention to the panicked brunet.
"I didn't have much time to pack last night and I threw everything in the bag just like it was!" Kiba shouted, frantically looking for his things.
"And let me guess 'the way it was' as you refer to it, is a combination of everything mixed up together on your floor in a big heap, where your clothes are so wrinkled that you can't even tell them apart from the carpet?" Naruto asked in an all knowing voice.
"Shit man, there is no time for jokes! The sergeant will be here any minute! And what if it's that Sasuke guy. He'll make me his bdsm fantasy for the rest of the year!" Kiba yelled finally pulling his bag to reveal the exact contents Naruto had described.
"Who mentioned bdsm?" Sai asked, finally taking interest in the conversation.
"No one mentioned anything like that, Kiba has a big imagination that's all. Now guys, let's try to make something of this mess otherwise the dog face won't be here with us to celebrate Christmas." Naruto said with a sheepish grin causing Kiba too almost faint.
For five minutes they were working like crazy to make Kiba's things look a bit more presentable and it proved to be quite a successes. It wasn't perfect perhaps but at least everything was neatly folded and sorted out. And it proved to be just in time because in that moment the door once again slammed opened. Before anyone checked who it was this time, they all lined up in two even rows along the small corridor between the beds.
"Good morning soldiers, may I introduce myself. I'm Uchiha Sasuke." The sergeant said in a stoic voice which was followed by a pregnant silence. After a moment the man walked into the room, his even steps echoed in the barrack.
"As you all know ladies, you are reacquired to undergo compulsory training to finally become men. Not all of you will manage that of course, some will unfortunately go back as the same whiny bitches they first came here. There is a total of 100 hundred morons here. I already saw 75 of you and I'm not impressed…."
Naruto made a mental note on that one. They were lucky to be the last ones because this probably meant that the Uchiha had already picked out his victim in on of the other barracks. The only thing left for him to do was to appear to be as ordinary as possible. What could be so difficult about that? … Right?
Sasuke first started checking the row opposite to them, which meant that they were safe for the meantime. There were a few times when Sasuke would stop and scold or yell at a few unsuspecting souls but nothing major. When the sergeant finally reached the row he was standing in, he of course noticed Kiba's far from perfect, wrinkled clothes and had a few shouts about how he'll teach him the meaning of discipline in near future. Nothing the blonde couldn't predict so far.
Finally it was his turn. The blonde almost held his breath in anticipations. He could finally take a quick glance at the sergeant's face. Indeed he seemed young, something around 27 perhaps, he had raven hair and equally black eyes. Even though his face seemed delicate, Naruto could see the well build body of the taller man, hidden underneath his formal uniform. The blonde could clearly see that the guy was handsome, which contrasted with an image of a troll like lunatic he created in his mind.
However what truly surprised the blonde was that, almost as soon as the sergeant laid his eyes on him, he went on to inspect the next soldier. Had he so brilliantly showed how ordinary he was? Sasuke had spend at least 2 minuets scrutinizing a soldier, even though nothing would be wrong, but in Naruto's case it was a matter of seconds. Whatever the cause, Naruto was officially safe. Maybe life didn't suck after all.
When finally Sasuke ended his routine inspection he was on his way out, that is, until he once again stopped in front of the blonde. The four friends thought in unison that this ain't gonna be pretty. The raven haired man scrutinized the blonde for what seemed like hours during which Naruto was slowly becoming paranoid. Finally the taller man spoke.
"Name."
The blonde looked dumbfounded at the man standing opposite to him while precious seconds ticked away. Why hadn't he asked anyone else for their names? Was he trying to memorize him and if so then why? He hasn't even done anything wrong! Was it wise to give him his name when…
"I SAID NAME!" The taller man all but hollered at the blonde.
"Naruto!.........Uzumaki Naruto!" Well there goes the plan for keeping his head down.
"Am I your friend?" the sergeant said with a smile on his face which puzzled the blonde even more. After a moment of silence he decided to speak his mind.
"Well I don't really know you, but if you want then yeah, sure!" The blonde said without much thinking, just trying to play things nice. Sergeant or not, he seems like a reasonable guy. What bothered him however, was that his reply made some of the guys almost laugh and he could swear he heard Neji do a facepalm.
"You see Naruto, here is the thing. We're on a training camp and we have a tiny rule here you have to remember, ok? You see every time you address a higher-up, you have to say sir. Do you understand?" he said with a sweet smile, though something of that smile dangerously reminded Naruto of Sai.
"Sure, I understand!" Naruto said visibly relaxing, the Uchiha was not a bastard after all. That Suigetsu guy was probably pulling a prank on him. He was stupid not to figure it out earlier.
"Do you now?" Sasuke asked still in a sweet voice, too sweet perhaps.
"Uh, oh right. Sorry hehe. What I meant to say was Yes Sir, I understand, Sir." Naruto said even adding a funny looking salute to the last part. Finally some of the other guys in the barrack seemed to relax as well.
"Well that's a good boy." Sasuke said as if praising a dog and suddenly the smiling mask slipped, revealing a gaze that could bore through metal if it was an obstacle for it.
"Now listen to me you little fuck! I AM NOT going to be your friend here, in fact I'm going to be your worst nightmare! Every hour, every minute, every fucking second of your life here, you will be wondering where I am and what I'm planning for you! There is no mommy to help you here, is that understood!" Sasuke yelled at the top of his lungs. When he received no answer from the shocked boy he yelled once again, even louder this time. "I asked you, IS THAT UNDESRTOOD!?"
"Yes…..sir" Naruto said still trying to make sense of the whole situation.
"Louder soldier, I can't here you!"
"Yes sir!"
"Is that all you got, you little whining bitch!" Sasuke hollered.
"YES SIR!.............Eh? I mean what did you just call me!" Naruto asked outraged, was it even legal to call him that?
"I called you a little whining bitch. Do you have a problem with that Uzumaki?" Sasuke said, his voice a bit more calmer. A smirk evident on his face.
"Yeah actually I do! You have no right to call me that……teme!" Naruto said, his voice shaking with anger. He will not let this man step on his pride as long as he was called Uzumaki!
"Well" Sasuke began, this time with a completely calm voice, "We're going to have a lot of fun this year, won't we soldier? I want to see you in five minutes in my office. And believe me when I say this, Uzumaki, you better be there." With that said the raven haired man turned to the doorway and marched out as if nothing really happened, however, not before he cast one last smirk in the direction of the blonde boy. Finally the door was shut.
"Why the fuck was I chosen, huh? I didn't even do anything wrong in the first place! He simply wanted to rile me up, didn't he? That was his plan from the start!" Naruto shouted to no one in particular, all the other soldier pitying the boy already. He was in for a hell of a year and he knew it. Good thing there were at least his friends to make him feel better and to protect him, right?
"Well, Naruto kun, I'm not sure exactly but maybe he chose you because of the bdsm thing? Correct me if I'm wrong but you seem to be the screaming type and it's really the best for…"
Sai was never allowed to continue as an enraged blonde tackled him to the ground.
This was going to be a hell of a long year.