"I don't believe this!" A girl with long brown hair and chocolate eyes said as she looked disgustedly at her desktop computer. "Both of them got deleted! AGAIN!"
"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit, Creator?" Elmo the emo corner asked the girl. "I mean, Kaede, Tyco and Rin didn't take it that badly. Why should you?"'
"I overreact because...because...huh. I don't know why. I JUST DO, OKAY?! Devil'sEyeAlchemist13 is good at overreacting, so she'll stick with it."
"Are you referring to yourself in third person?" Elmo questioned.
"No, its 31st person, dumbass!" A girl with blue hair and red eyes said, looking up from her Time magazine.
"I'm pretty sure it's third." Said a girl with white hair and violet eyes, continuing to read Bleach manga.
"I think Rin's right." A boy with short curly brown hair and brown eyes said.
"Shut it Tyco." Kaede said, setting down her Time. "Creator is right. It's 31st person, period.
"What are we gonna do though 'bout the T or D's?" Tyco asked DEA13.
"Simple. We put it in story format and do a crossover Bleach/FMA(B) one. This time, I'll be joining in. So the crew is Kaede, Rin, Tyco, Elmo, DEA13 and the casts of Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. And there will be NO MARRIAGE!"
"Why not...?" Rin pondered.
"Well, do we want Kaede to be polygamous or not?" Elmo asked her.
"I see the problem," Kaede mentioned. "But the easiest way to solve it is to ditch Roy and stick with Aizen. Better for me to fight fire with fire then to fight illusions and a bitch curl with fire."
"It's a cowlick, Kaede." DEA13 corrected. "The only one here with a bitch curl is Armstrong. And his sparkles."
"Do we have a show or not?" Tyco blurted out, fed up with anticipation and the annoyance of Kaede poking his shoulder.
"Do you guys wanna do a crossover?"
"YES! JUST GET THIS DAMN CHARADE OVER WITH!" They all exclaimed at the author.
"Fine. Tokyo or New York City?"
"I like New York." Elmo said, as he had no hand to raise, being a talking emo corner and all. Tyco raised his hand in agreement. Kaede and Rin raised their hands for Tokyo.
"The anime capital of the world is where an anime crossover show belongs!" They yelled happily.
"Since you guys can't agree, I'll choose. We're doing it in the city of love-"
"NYC?" Kaede asked.
"LA?" Said Tyco.
"Tokyo?" That was Rin.
"Osaka?" And Elmo.
"Paris you idiots! I thought at least Elmo and Kaede would've known!" Creator spat as she pressed a button on her keyboard that transported them to a massive studio outside L'Arc de Triumph. Inside the building there were many halls, each with unmarked rooms, but Creator, Kaede and Rin had maps. They all went to the center of the studio, where the audience, Mary-Sue pit and the casts were seated. On the loudspeaker, the song "Sangeshitsu" was playing.
"You're using Sangeshitsu as the opening?" Tyco asked Creator.
"I didn't choose it; Rin and Elmo did." DEA13 replied as Tyco glared at the lonely emo corner behind the audience.
"It was the only way to get her to shut up about Ichimaru." Elmo said. "I promised her that I'd make sure the backstage crew chose that song if she'd shut up about 'Ichi-chan'. God, sometimes she's annoying as hell..."
"There's a best friend for ya, Elmo." DEA13 replied. "You can put up with their shit all the time and not go insane. Unfortunately, that didn't work with Kaede...sigh." As they all glanced over to Kaede flirting with Aizen and Gin.
"ICHI-CHAN!" Rin sprinted over and hopped on Gin's back as she slapped Kaede into Aizen. "Stay away from Ichi. My precious..." said with a wonderful Gollum impression. "Stick with your meanie idiot with a god complex who lacks common sense."
"That was unexpected and quite rude." Aizen remarked, pulling Kaede's face out of his clothes.
"What's wrong with her?" Alphonse asked his older brother, looking down at him.
"Which one? The author, the Devil or the nuts fangirl?" Edward muttered.
"I see your point, Fullmetal." A smirking Roy Mustang said as he walked over to the brothers' conversation. "But she would leave me for him?!" He pointed over to Aizen, who was lecturing Rin (and unknowingly Gin) about manners. "I don't see her reasoning behind that."
"It's simple." Riza Hawkeye said, handing the Colonel a shot of liquor from Matsumoto, Hisagi and Izuru's sake stand. "He is an attractive man, sir."
"Are you suggesting I'm not, Lieutenant?"
"No, sir. I'm merely saying that she's more interested in Sosuke then she is in you."
"Wha's his name?" Roy asked, confused by his lieutenant's apparent sprout of knowledge.
"Sosuke Aizen." She commented. " I honestly don't believe you'd stand a chance going against him, though."
"We'll see, Hawkeye. We'll see.." he replied as he took a seat, preceding everyone else.
"Welcome to 'When Worlds Collide'! I'm the creator, sometimes known as Creator, Devil'sEyeAlchemist13! You can call me DEA13 or just DEA." DEA said as she made sure everyone took their seats. "These are the other hosts."
"I'm Kaede. Don't fuck with me. You mess with the Devil; you get the horns." Kaede snorted, upset that she got slapped still.
"I'm Rin! I may look fun and friendly, but I'm strong too!"
"The name's Tyco. I'm probably the only one here who isn't insane."
"My name is Elmo; come to me when you have emotional distress. But don't ask me stupid questions."
"Why?" Ichigo asked the corner, who rolled his cartoony eyes.
"You owe me fifty cents." Elmo replied smugly.
"Just give me the money; I'll put it in his paycheck." Tyco said as he accepted Ichigo's change. "We should probably state the jobs."
"Jobs?" Kaede asked. "I never signed up for a job. I signed up to torture people and be hilariously funny and get to use my Flamethrower of Doom more often, since SOMEONE took all my tequila!" She glared at Tyco and DEA, who each held up a bottle.
"No drink for you, says the Beer Nazi." Tyco mocked the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. "I state who the dares are from."
"Kaede provides the music." Elmo reminded her.
"Eh, not as bad as I thought." Kaede remarked.
"I read the dares." DEA13 continued on.
"I provide emotional support." Elmo said proudly. "Hence why I'm the emo corner."
"Try not having it ass backwards." Kaede remarked again.
"And I shove people into the rooms of randomness and other things most people never know that we have!" Rin said.
"Our first dare is from BrightWings111." Tyco said. Also known as Rin.
...Kaede, I'm sad...
"Suck it up, ya pansy." Kaede said to Rin in a gentle tone similar to Unohanna's.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHY?"! I JUST LEFT MY BEST FRIENDS WHO LIVE ALL OVER THE WORLD AND I WONT SEE THEM AGAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR! AND ONE OF THEM WASNT EVEN THERE! AND I HAVENT SEEN HER FOR TWO YEARS BECAUSE I WASNT THERE LAST YEAR!
AND EVERYONE I STARTED WITH GOT CALLED UP FOR A 5 YEAR AWARD BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I COULDNT EVEN CONTROL! I CRIED SO MUCH! IT WOULD BE JUST AS IF YOU HAD TO WATCH EVERYONE YOU KNEW GRADUATE WHILE YOU GOT HELD BACK!
Everyone sat in silence at the rant and just glanced at each other, each glance saying "What the hell was that about?"
...sorry, I'm ranting again... *sniffle* it's just... next year I'll be up
there for the 5 years with people I don't even know and not the people I
started with... *sniffle*
"I don't know what to say about that, since I've never had that problem..."
Ichi-chan, please sing something for me *sniffle*
"How was I expecting that?" DEA thought out loud. "Kaede, go through the tracks and find False Pretense by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus." Kaede went over to the tracks and started playing 'False Pretense' as Gin sang along. Rin stopped crying and reverted back to her normal happy self.
"Next up is DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s." Tyco read off the card that was given to him. Doc burst in the door with a big smile plastered all over her face.
HELLO CRAZY PEOPLES OF THE (Bleach) WORLD! TIS I! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DOC! NOW, YOU SHALL SUCCUMB TO MY WISHES AND COMMANDS OR ELSE THOU SHALT BE THROWN INTO THE PIT OF FIRE BREATHING MARY SUES!
"How many more idiots are coming?" Rukia asked.
"Don't ask." Byakuya and Renji advised her.
1. I don't know a lot about you guys except for what DEA13 tells me, so I'm
just going to explain who Elmo is. No, he's not the puppet from Sesame Street. Elmo is the emo corner who charges you 50 for a stupid question. I blame myself.
"You should; it IS your fault." Elmo rubbed the lemon juice in the cuts.
2. I don't know, but I brought this awesome gun that turns people into ponies.
So... *starts firing at random people* PONIESSSSS!
From Doc's craziness, Ichigo, Izuru, Komamura, Yachiru, Nanao, Mayuri, Isane, Grimmjow, Szayel, Aaronierro, Kaien, Yuzu and Tesla turned into ponies. Each their respective hair color ponies.
Kaede laughed at Aaronierro, who was a blob of goo. "You're indecisive."
Kai: Sorry, that's my crazy sister... She had a couple pixie sticks before we
came... Anyway, Coyote Starrk, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SLEEP ALL THE TME?!
"Zzzz..." Starrk was still asleep in the corner in a sleeping bag.
"Lilynette, go wake 'em up." Tyco said, unaware of her methods. Lilynette grabbed an encyclopedia from the bookshelf and smacked Starrk in the face several times, finally waking him up.
"O! What's up?" Starrk asked.
"Doc and Kai want to know why you nap all the time." Lilynette said.
"Oh. I'm always tired...zzz" And Coyote fell back asleep again.
Ulquiorra, your methods are cruel. Effective, but cruel.
"Trash..." Ulquiorra muttered.
Nnoritora, has anyone told you that you look creepy?
"I think we can all agree on that." Aizen said.
"I'm not creepy!" Nnoritora exclaimed.
"A spoon? Was something somewhat usable already taken? Like, a knife?" Kaede retorted. Everyone laughed at Nnoritora, who went over to the emo corner.
"Well, maybe he uses the spoon to eat." Elmo said, not at all helping Nnoritora.
Gin, You have a weird accent.
"I's not an accent, i's a Kyoto dialect." Gin said. "There's a difference; go loo' i' up on Wikipedia."
"It's not weird anyway." Aizen, Kaede and Creator said in unison.
"It's CUTE!" Rin yelled, reverting to her fangirl state for but a moment. "Sorry..." She said as everyone raised an eyebrow at her.
Aizen, YOU ARE NOT GOD, THE TRUTH IS GOD!
"YES! FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES!" Truth exclaimed at the top of it's lungs.
"I disagree." Aizen calmly said. But he had waves of anger radiating off of him.
"This is gonna get ugly..." Ed whispered to Winry.
"Yeah, two gods? The only one missing is Father..."
Laters!
"That's it?" Winry asked. "Wow, I was expecting dares for us..."
"Don't jinx us Winry!" Al yelled at her.
"Next up is Texika Ukitake."
Texika: Hello again! :D
"Hi!" Rin said at one of her old friends.
Texika: I will get to the dares, but first I would like to say...I do not
condone torture...sorry.
"I don't see anything wrong with torture!" Kaede said, cross at Texika's comment.
"She has a right to her opinion." Elmo said, in favor of defending Texika.
"No matter how wrong or stupid it is? Okay then..."
Texika: I would also like to say something to the unnamed Quincy, the one
always following Buckbeard around.
The unnamed Quincy turned his head to Texika.
Texika: From now on...You will be known as Snowy! :D
"WHAT?!"
Texika: Does that name annoy you?
"Yes..." Snowy muttered.
Texika: If so then I have accomplished my mission.
"That's a mission?" Tyco asked.
"Apparently so." Ichigo said.
*suddenly an 11 foot tall man with icy blue feathers on his torso, a pair of
large icy blue wings, and wearing a pair of silver hakamas, as well as a
helmet that looks like an ice phoenix appears behind me*
?: Master, don't you have something to say to Aaroniero?
Texika: Oh right, almost forgot...Thank you for reminding me Kaijumaru!
Kaijumaru: You're welcome Master.
Texika: Hey Aaroniero!
The top head of Aaronierro said to the other head "Turn into Kaien so we look presentable." The other head agreed and soon Aaronierro once again stole Kaien Shiba's face. "Yes?"
Texika: I would like to apologize for killing you a while back. For some
reason I can't understand I've started liking you, and now I have 7 out 10
Espada I can I am a fan of. They are in this order. Starrk, Harribel,
Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Ulquiorra, and Aaroniero.
"I get a few of those." DEA said. "I understand Starrk, Harribel, Grimmy and Aaronierro. Not Ulquiorra and Nnoritora, though. Never have, never will..."
Texika: I'm also gonna give a list of characters who probably have or were not Happy Birthday when their Birthdays came.
"Awesome!" Tyco said.
"Gin's is September 10th!" Rin said.
"And Sosuke's is May 29th!" Kaede chided. Gin and Aizen both gave them weird looks.
"Kurotsuchi's is March 30th." DEA13 said. Everyone stared at her like she was nuts. "What?"
"Why memorize that?" Mayuri asked her.
"Do I look like Aizen or Truth to you?"
Texika: So Happy Birthday to...Hiyori Sarugaki, Isane Kotetsu, Charlotte
Chuhlhourne, Shūhei Hisagi, & Kazeshini!
"Go Shuuhei!" Rin exclaimed.
"Yeah, Kazeshini.." Tyco said.
"Thank you!" The people who had a birthday said to Texika.
Texika: Now on to the dares! I dare the Vandenreich, except Snowy, and
As Nodt, to go jump in a volcano!
And into Mount St. Helens they jumped... with Snowy and As Nodt standing on the sidelines.
"Unfortunately this dare got cut off." Tyco said. "Next with FMA dares is Sushi Hawkeye!"
Rai: The Devil Incarnate has chosen to do something good for the world?
Sushi: Alright, what's the catch?
"That has been cancelled..." Kaede said. "Which works to my advantage."
Rai: Okay...dares. Because it's midnight on Saturday. Yay.
Sushi: I want Selim/Pride and my personal shoakuma to let everyone boss them around. That means they both are everyone's servants, me included.
Rai: and I included too. Next dare!
Pride moped at the demand. Rai frowned a little.
Sushi: Hm...Truth, if I we would cross the Gate, what would you take from us
if Rai cherishes listening to music...
Rai: ...and Sushi likes to sing?
Truth grinned a Gin smile. "Sushi would lose her voice and become mute like Rose Thomas. Rai would lose ears."
"No stealin' my smile." Gin said, frowning.
Sushi: Then I'm not gonna do human transmutation then. Maybe. If this shoakuma doesn't drive me insane...
Rai: *smacks Sushi upside the head*
Sushi: Alright, geez. I won't. Next dare then.
Rai: That's it for now, actually.
Sushi: really? Oh well, maybe more next time.
Sushi and Rai: *to Selim/Pride and my personal shoakuma* Go humiliate
yourselves or do something stupid. Or annoy Kaede or anyone so that they'll
kill you. *to everyone else* Bye!
Selim and Rai decided to annoy Kaede. Kaede burnt Selim to a crispy charcoal for the barbecuing of Rai. "Medium rare or well done?" She asked Creator.
"Medium rare." And soon enough DEA13 had a steak dinner.
"Next is ChibiNeko313."
I have only one dare. Everyone -and yes, EVERYONE. That included hosts,
co-hosts, characters, reviewers, walls, etc.- must sing 'Long Live' by Taylor
Swift. I don't particularly like her, but somehow, this song seems to fit this
fic. Then I would like to sing 'Fences' by Paramore.
(You get the point, the song.)
Rogue: I WANNA SING!
You never wanna sing!
Rogue: NOW I DO!
Hey guess what!
Rogue: What?
Shut up! Wow, they really do always fall for it!
Rogue: Wtf?
You don't get to sing.
EL: Can... C-can I sing?
Sure! And might I just say: WOW you are SUCH an uke.
EL: Okay. Whatever that is. I wanna sing-
I'm deciding that for you.
EL: Wait, what? No, I wanna si-
She'll be singing 'Slow-Paced Chaser' by Luka.
Rogue: WHY DOES SHE GET TO SING?
Because nobody can refuse a request looking into the eyes of an Innocent Uke.
Rogue: ...Whatever.
*sigh* Fiiine! You can sing... Hm...
Rogue: I decide what I sing!
No.
Rogue: Yes I do!
No. *presses button on own remote control*
Rogue: WHY AM I IN CHAINS?
Now, what shall you sing... Oh! I know! She'll sing 'Go Google It' by Luka and
Gakupo. She'll duet with... Roy! But from my fanfiction!
Rogue: What difference does it make from the Roy here to the Roy back at our studio?
The Roy there isn't married to the Devil Incarnate.
"Not anymore." Kaede said. "Creator made me get divorces. WHY CAN'T I STAY WITH AIZEN?! I'LL BE GOOD!"
"So I don't matter in this anymore?" Roy asked furiously.
"No, frankly, you don't. I found my soulmate in Aizen! And the best part is that there's irony to God being married to the Devil! BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS! And he's actually somewhat more successful then you! And face it, Roy; he's soo much hotter than you."
"Um... is that...true?" Aizen asked, nervous of the possible outbreak of emotions.
"Yes." DEA replied for Kaede, who was about ready to burn Roy into a million pieces.
"I don't believe this!" Roy yelled.
"Neither do I." Aizen said, walking over to Mustang. "I thought being the pyro she is, she would've gone with you. And think of the military power she could gain."
"You're right." Mustang agreed. "You know, you're not so bad of a guy."
"That's not something I get a lot."
"Yeah, I heard." Mustang gave Aizen a pat on the back. "Take care of my little shoakuma for me." Followed by an "AWW!" by the audience.
"Please let the awkward moment be over..." Rin prayed.
"That was almost crossover yaoi." Kaede said frankly.
"MOVING ON!" The whole crowd minus Kaede, Aizen, Roy, Rin and DEA13 yelled.
Rogue: ...Oh.
That's all. Bye! :D
"See ya all later!" The hosts said as Kaede ran back to the jukebox and played "Catharsis of Eternity".
FIN OF ONE!
Please review with dares!