HAY GUYZ. This is my first time writing Torchwood fanfiction, but don't be gentle in your reviews. Sucky writing is sucky. I know a lot of people have problems with alien OCs--they're either impossibly beautiful, improbable plot devices, really flat characters, or some combo of the three. My OCs are none of the above. They aren't good guys...at least not in the traditional sense. They're insensitive, lascivious, and superficial and there's ALWAYS an ulterior motive.

This is a Torchwood/Doctor Who crossover by the way, because it was the only way I could add the Master as a character. The 10th, 11th, or 12th Doctor may show up as I see fit. HUGH LAURIE FOR 12!

The numbers underneath the name for each journal entry are relevant to the story. Cookies if you can figure them out.

Heloise [Héloïse Jernigan]
Entry 0001
[AFLC787-Sol 3] 20090531 225336

\begin transmission\

//The human race is a marvelous anomaly.

//For starters, we seem to be uneradicable. Funny, considering we feel the same about cockroaches. Anyway, it's not for lack of trying: great floods, fire raining down from the heavens, nuclear winters, alien invasions--especially alien invasions. It's like there's one every Christmas in one of the parallel timelines, and it's bloody annoying. (Excuse my Britishisms.) Speaking of Britishisms, why are all the attacks in either London or Cardiff? I'd like to think that the United States of bloody fucking America had something worth blowing to bits in that timeline, too. Of course, you aliens are welcome to destroy England first. Old rotters still, I bet, the lot of them.

//Secondly, it seems like half the alien races we meet in those timelines speak OUR language and look like US. Nice to know that English--which is a purely human language and don't you dare try and feed me that stable time loop tripe about ancient astronauts--is spoken all over the galaxy. And as far as appearance, my general rule is that if Harkness can screw it, it's humanoid on some level. (Don't ask me how I know him; I'd really rather not go into the whole Sidestepping thing.) That said, why would half the races in the universe converge onto this one race? Is it even convergence, though? Or is it divergence from a single, basic template?

//It's the last possibility that scares me the most. Why do Time Lords, a race from a totally different galaxy in a distant sector of the universe, look identical to humans? Age in an identical fashion, regeneration aside? If you're a believer of evolution, two hearts and a respiratory bypass can be explained away as a freak mutation somewhere along the line that DIDN'T result in an infant mortality. If you don't, well, that's okay, because I don't and I'm still convinced that there's a piece of the puzzle I'm missing: why were we created so similarly, virtually identical?

//Why do they look like us?

//Why do they come to us?

//Why is it that human DNA can serve as the basic drawing board for all kinds of additions, subtractions, augmentations, and specializations?

//Why is it that, in the end, it always comes down to us? We, who thought we were alone in the universe, suddenly find its fate in our clumsy, ignorant hands and are left awed and amazed and honestly scared shitless.

//We are the crux, the joint, the clasp where the balance of Order and Chaos hangs. We, naturally selfish and fearful and hateful, have to Judge, to Decide and hope that this is all one big cosmic joke or else one hell of a Xanatos Gambit in our favor.

//Not all universes have the Doctor to save them.

//Not all universes have openly malicious threats. All it would take in one might be a Coriolis disaster in the Large Hadron Collider, the optimal conditions fostering a black hole that could swallow the planet, the Sol system, the galaxy, annd perhaps ultimately the universe in NO TIME AT ALL.

//Eh, I might be getting melo, but wierder shit has happened. I think. Actually, I know. (Harkness.)

//At any rate, I just want to know WHY? Why so much sameness in a universe that naturally leans towards entropy? Why so many coincidences, so many lucky breaks, so many close shaves?

//I have an inkling that there's something larger lurking behind all of this: all the multiple universes and their links and their inhabitants.

//I keep having nightmares about the phrase "Bad Wolf". I don't know what it is, but I've gone through the all the International Space Station archives, and nothing comes up. The dreams positively reek of "othersideness" and I'm pretty damn sure they're from a parallel world leaking into ours. While it's definitely Darker and Edgier than anything our universe tends to dredge up, it's not the kind of adventure I look for when I Sidestep.

//All I know is that I have a strange feeling about this. It's something I need to look into, for the sake of my own existence.

//All I can hope is that "Bad Wolf" has nothing to do with that damned Doctor: everything he touches withers and dies, and I refuse to die on a technicality.

\end transmission\