In My Daughter's Eyes
Castle Halloween Bash 2018 Entry One shot.
A/N: Not Halloween titled, but a lot of Caskett fluff Halloween themed. To those following Return To Maine, I nearly have chapter 20 written. It just needs a few minor details. I took a break long enough to do this and maybe write one more and then will get back to work on Return.
All right's and credits for the song belong to Martina McBride. I love this song and thought I might make it fit for Kate and Lily and I hope I have done so successfully. Please, let me know what you think on the comments. Does it even qualify for the 2018 Halloween Bash!
"Pwease, mommy. I want to be Dwofothy to go twick or tweeting so bad." her tearful 3 year old daughter begged.
"Lil, your dad has searched the town over for that costume and there just aren't any. You may just have to pick someone else. Halloween is just 2 days away and we still don't have a costume for you. I know! You could go as a mini Princess Leia."
"That's you, mommy. I wanna be Dworofhy."
"But sweetheart, I already told you that your dad looked all over and couldn't…"
"He not you, mommy. Mommy can do everything."
Lily had been obsessed with 'The Wizard of Oz' ever since Martha had taken her to see it on Broadway last month during a matinee.
Kate bit down on her bottom lip. She knew that through Lily's eyes she could do no wrong and she was glad she felt that way, her daughter saw her as some kind of hero, even though that was far from the truth.
"Pwease, mommy." Lily pleaded, her lower lip trembling. "You can do it. I knowed you can."
How did you explain to your bright, beautiful, precocious 3 year old child who hero worshiped you that you were only human. And why was she so suddenly insecure when she was normally just the opposite?
She didn't have to even think about it because about that time, the door opened and Alexis came in. "Hey. What's going on?" she asked.
Looking up at Alexis from her spot on the floor with Lily in her lap, she replied. "Your dad has all day meetings with Black Pawn and mini me as your dad refers to her, is still upset about Dorothy."
Alexis joined them on the floor. "Hey, Lil. You know dad did his best to find you a Dorothy costume, right?"
Lily nodded, but remained tearfully adamant. "But he's not mommy. Mommy can do everything, Lexie."
Kate heaved out a sigh. "Lily, I love that you think that, but…"
"Pwease, mommy." Lily begged, tearfully.
Kate glanced out the living room window at the gray sky and the rain running down the window in rivulets. She dreaded getting out in this weather and as late as it was getting, she wasn't hopeful about the Dorothy costume, but she actually had no choice. They all had Halloween costumes except Lily.
Halloween was just two days away and they were taking the kids trick or treating with Kevin and Jenny and their kids and poor Lily would so feel left out if they didn't have a costume for her.
Lily was too young to remember her first Halloween as she was only 8 months old, a couple of months older than her twin brothers are now and last year, they had had to stay home as Lily had been too sick with a cold to go out and being pregnant with the twins had Kate's feet feeling and looking like box cars. Kate so wanted her to enjoy it this year.
The song of "In My Daughter's Eyes" was being sung softly beside her. She actually loved the Martina McBride song, but having Alexis softly singing it beside her to gently tease her was not helping.
In my daughter's eyes,
I am a hero
I am strong and wise
And I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue
Me
I see what I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes.
"Pwetty pwease, mommy? Wif sugar on top?" Lily asked, her bottom lip trembling.
How could she deny that request coming from her precious daughter.
She looked up at Alexis. "Can you stay with the kids for a bit? I really don't want to have to drag them out in this weather."
"Of course, I can."
"Yay!" Lily exclaimed happily, hugging Kate around her neck very tightly.
"Okay, Lil. I will do my best, but if I can't find Dorothy you have to be whatever I bring back for you. Understood?"
"Yes, mommy."
"I guess I'd better get started then. I have breast milk for the twins in the refrigerator and hopefully, I will be back before they need feeding again."
"Good Luck!"
"Thanks. I am going to need it."
Fifteen minutes later, she greeted Eduardo and he offered to hail a cab for her, but the rain had abated, even though it looked as if the skies could open up again.
But she really wanted to walk in spite of the weather. "No, thank you, Eduardo. I'd rather walk because I am going shopping for Lily's Halloween costume and I don't want to miss any shops my husband might have missed."
"Are you sure? This weather has been pretty unpredictable the last couple of days and we're supposed to have a cold front from Canada coming in later today bringing more rain and colder temperatures."
"Thanks. I'll be fine. This is the first time I've been out on my own since the twins were born and I'm actually looking forward to it.
"Aww. I see. How are those adorable babies doing?"
"Doing well, thanks. They are healthy and happy and getting more spoiled by family and friends by the minute."
Eduardo chuckled. "So, Little Miss Lily still has her heart set on Dorothy?"
"That she does, Eduardo! Mr. Castle would say that she has inherited my stubbornness and my dad would agree with him, but I beg to differ. I say it comes from his side. But don't tell him I said that." she teased, smiling up at him.
But in all honesty, Lily's stubbornness probably did come from her. Rick was the kindest, sweetest, most patient man she had ever met.
Eduardo chuckled. "Your secret is safe with me." he replied and wished her luck and she headed toward Broadway, which wasn't far and began her journey.
She ventured into every costume shop she could find in the theater district in hopes of finding that costume, but to no avail.
As she was entering her third costume shop, a crack of thunder rent the air and the onslaught of rain, beat against the windows in its deluge.
Closing her umbrella, she entered the shop to look around and briefly escape the rain.
How the hell was it that a city that centered around Broadway and theaters and all areas around the filming industry didn't have a Dorothy costume or anything even related to 'The Wizard of Oz'? Even throwing her mother -in- law's name around had yielded nothing.
This was the first Halloween her daughter would remember except for last year when they had stayed home because of Lily being sick and she was determined now more than ever that Lily should go as whoever she wanted to be and Kate didn't care what she had to do to make that happen, even if she bought the material and hire a seamstress to make it happen. It was still 2 days away and surely a good seamstress could make that happen.
As she stepped from the last shop and opened her umbrella she was hit with a strong gust of wind that left her staggering to stay upright. She cursed as the wind rushed up beneath the canopy of her umbrella, snapping 3 of it's spines, rendering the thing useless.
On her second trip up Broadway, she noticed the mega shopping giant at the corner of 5th and Broadway. Normally, she shied away from the larger stores for the smaller boutiques and shops she preferred most. She hadn't been in Bloomingdale's since before her mother was murdered. The last time she had visited the store was for Christmas for a gift for her mother just shortly before her murder.
She stood stock still on the sidewalk , the rain running down the back of her coat and water dripping from her hair, trying to muster up the nerve it was going to take her to get through a trip into the shopping mecca. What the hell? This wasn't about her, but about her daughter Lily and with that in mind, she swallowed past her nerves and pushed through the doors, telling herself that Lily was worth it all and she was.
One thing about the block long, nine floor store, if it couldn't be found in here, it probably didn't exist.
The entire 8th floor of the store was dedicated to toddler outfits and toys, not to mention, one huge area dedicated to Halloween costumes.
She browsed the Halloween costumes on display and her eyes finally landed on the Wizard Of Oz costume display.
Her fingers roamed over the wracks of costumes until she finally spotted the Dorothy costumes.
Her fingers shaking, she held her breath hoping and praying they had Lily's size.
Oh hell no! No size 3 T? The smallest they had was 4 T which would be a little large on Lily, but not by much. It would have to do.
"May I help you?"
Kate looked up to see a saleswoman beside her.
"Yes. Do you have any of these in size 3 T?"
"Let's see. We just got this shipment in late last night so I don't really know, but what I can tell you is that other than the ruby slippers which are located in the children's shoe department is right here."
"You have the ruby slippers, too?"
"Yes, we do, but it looks like a size 4 is the smallest we have in the Dorothy costumes."
"That's okay! I'll take it!" Kate exclaimed happily.
"Wonderful! Now, if you will follow me, I'll show you to the shoe department."
An hour later, Kate left Bloomingdale's armed with everything from the costume, the ruby slippers and Toto from the toy department, a wicker basket from home decor to outfit Lily and Kate was so happy even the driving rain couldn't dampen her spirits and she could not wait to get home and show Lily.
She decided to try her luck at hailing a cab home, but she wasn't hopeful since catching a cab anywhere in Manhattan in this kind of weather was like winning the lottery, but surprisingly, her luck held and the second cab she tried to hail stopped for her.
Upon hearing her key slide into the lock, Lily was racing for the door to greet her mother.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Lily greeted her throwing her little arms around Kate's knees. "Did you find it?"
Kate handed the packages to Alexis who had come up behind Lily.
Laughing, she bent down and scooped her daughter up in her arms. "I don't know. Guess we'll just have to find out, but mommy needs to go change into some dry clothes first. Think you can wait that long?"
At her daughter's nod, she set Lily back on her feet. "How are the twins?" she asked, taking her purchases from Alexis.
"They are just fine and napping peacefully."
"Good." Kate replied as she started to their bedroom to change.
Alexis laughed as Kate walked away at the sound of water sloshing inside her shoes.
"Shuuut Upppp!" she chanted as she walked away, never giving Alexis a second glance back.
Once again in dry clothing, she took her packages into the living room and set them next to the couch.
Lily, all boundless energy, full of wonder and excitement, bounced up onto the couch and into Kate's lap. "Can I mommy? Pwease?" she asked, pointing to the packages.
"May I?" Kate corrected. "Yes, you may."
Kate and Alexis watched the wonder and joy that Lily displayed with oohs, awws, and gasps of awe as she opened each of the packages and Kate knew that every disappointment, every rain puddle she had stepped in and even trudging through deluges of rain with a broken to no umbrella at all had all been worth it.
"I eben have Toto, Mommy! See?" Lily exclaimed excitedly as she opened the last package.
"I see that, baby girl!"
"I knew you could do it, mommy! You my hewo!"
"And you're mine, my beautiful, sweet girl!" Kate replied, hugging Lily tight.
"Mommy, can I wear it now?"
Kate looked to Alexis who shrugged. "It's machine washable?"
"Okay, Lil. You need to try it on anyway and then you may play in it for a little while, but you have to take it off to eat dinner."
"Tank you, mommy!"
The next several minutes, Kate and Alexis transformed Lily into Dorothy with brunette dog ears instead of red and they all had fun. Kate enjoyed playing dress up with Lily and would not have missed this for anything.
A half hour later, Rick entered the loft to find Lily dressed as Dorothy running around in circles pretending that she was in a tornado, trying to vocalize strong wind sounds.
"Look, daddy! I in townado!" as she continued to run in circles around him.
Astonished, Rick looked to Kate, mouthing 'how?' in her direction.
"Bloomingdale's."
"But I checked there."
"That was the other day, babe. I just got lucky that they got a shipment in last night. They didn't have her size so I had to go to a 4 T, but it seems to fit her fine."
Suddenly, Lily launched herself at Rick and he swooped her up in his arms.
"How do you like me, daddy? Do I look pwetty?"
"Oh, sweet pea, if you only knew. You are always beautiful."
"Tank you, daddy. Mommy got it for me. She is my supahewo!"
Rick hugged her tightly and winked at Kate. "Yeah, sweetheart. She's my superhero, too."
The Ryan's arrived promptly at 6:30 looking so cute dressed as Morticia and Gomez Addams with Wednesday and Pugsley in tow. Despite little Nick not being the size stature of Pugsley Addams, he sure looked adorable.
Martha was remaining at the loft to pass out candy to their little trick or treaters, was taking pictures of everyone.
Rick made the older version of Hans look so sexy and she had to admit that for an older Princess Leia, she wasn't half bad herself and she had to admit that she had the cutest twin Chewbacca's (without masks, of course) that she had ever laid eyes on. Not to mention how adorable Lily looked.
Making sure that the twins were bundled up and snug in their fuzzy one piece Chewbacca pajamas ( and how in the hell had he managed to find those in such small sizes was beyond Kate.), they loaded the twins in their double stroller and after a brief argument with Lily about wearing her coat, they left the loft and were on their way.
They took the children to some trusted neighbors in the building and Eduardo, the dedicated doorman of the building and loved by kids and adults alike was handing out candy to the trick or treaters as well and then they stopped at a neighboring church before heading to Lanie's briefly to get treats from Auntie Lanie and Uncle Espo before making their final stop at the precinct to see some of the night shift officers and detectives.
After leaving the precinct, they all decided to head to the train to take them to Kate and Rick's stop where Kate and Rick would take their kids in and the Ryans would continue on without them.
Rick maneuvered the stroller while Lily skipped beside her holding tightly onto her hand.
The wind had picked up , rustling leaves that had fallen from trees around them, and she stopped to make sure that Lily's hood was secure, causing them to fall behind the others a few paces.
"Everything okay back here?" Rick asked, coming back to see what had kept Kate and Lily a few paces behind them.
"Yes. Everything is fine. The wind blew Lily's hood off is all."
"It is getting colder out here, too. Ryan invited us to tag along with them. I don't know about you, but I think we need to stick to our original plan and head home, maybe have some hot chocolate and get the kids in bed."
"I agree."
"Mommy, next yeah, can I be supahewo like you?"
The question caught Kate off guard and she took a deep, shallow breath, so overwhelmed at the depth of love her daughter had for her and her love for Lily knew no bounds.
Between her and Rick , when talking about Lily , often referred to Lily as her mini me. Frankly, Kate did not see that. Yes, she noticed resemblances of her, but not to that level. She thought in large part, it was her dad's fault, commenting on how much Lily looked like her since the day she was born. Now, as she gazed into Lily's eyes, it was like looking at her own reflection and she could see straight into Lily's heart and soul and she was astounded.
Rick often told Lily that her mom was a superhero because she saved the city from the bad guys and that was probably where the superhero came in, but it was also so much more than that and was more about the love of a child for her mother so deep and intense that it bordered on idolizing. And just as she had that thought, she had fleeting childhood memories of loving her own mother to that same point.
Since the twins had been born, Lily had not received as much attention from her as usual due to the increasing needs and demands of raising twins, leaving them both exhausted and collapsing into bed to catch whatever amount of sleep the twins allowed them to snatch, which was not much at all. Had they been unintentionally ignoring Lily's needs making her feel unloved and insecure? God, she hoped not!
Guilt twisted in Kate's gut. This little girl, her baby girl worshiped the ground she walked on and who wanted nothing more than her love and to spend time with her and Kate had been too busy.
She breathed a sigh of disgust. Things had to change and those changes began right this moment. The twins were now sleeping through the night so things were a little easier now and they both needed to spend quality time with Lily.
"Sweetheart, I love that you think that I'm a superhero, but baby, I'm really not."
"Yes, you are. Daddy says so."
She thought back to just a couple of days ago and the first refrains of the song played through her mind once again.
In my my daughter's eyes
I am a hero
I am strong and wise
And I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue
Me.
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes.
"Do you really see me like that, Lil? As a superhero?
"Yes, mommy."
She suddenly realized that she was right where she wanted to be. A superhero in her daughter's eyes and she hoped Lily would always love her with that depth and intensity and she was going to do her very best not to let her daughter down.
She pulled Lily into her arms, hugging her tightly. "I love you so much, Lil! I hope you always see me like that through your eyes. How about next year we are twin superheros like Wonder Woman or Super Woman?"
At Lily's affirmative nod, she cuddled Lily closer. "Now, how about we go home and daddy can make us some hot chocolate and we can eat one piece of Halloween candy before bed?"
Again, Lily nodded. Kate pulled her up into her arms and was once again astounded by the love she saw in her daughter's eyes and suddenly she couldn't wait to get home and hold all of her babies close, even the biggest one of them all.
"Are you sure you're both okay?' Rick asked.
"Yeah. We're fine. Let's just go home."
"Home it is." he said, leaning down to brush a kiss to the top of Lily's head before brushing a soft kiss to Kate's lips. "Let's go."
This miracle God gave to me
Gives me strength
When I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes.
And when she wraps her
Hand
Around my finger
Oh, it puts a smile in my
Heart
Everything becomes
A little clearer
I realize what life is
All about
It's hanging on when your
Heart has had enough
It's giving more when you
Feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my
Daughter's eyes.
In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I
Am and what will be
And though she'll grow and
Someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you
See how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's
eyes
A/N: So sorry. This did not start out to be a song fic, but ended up being just that. As usual, this is un betaed, so all mistakes are solely mine. Song lyrics and all credit belongs to the lovely and talented Martina McBride. Marking this as complete.