Star Wars Boneheads: The Curse of the Sombrero Moon
By Hudson
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….
One day, Lando Calrissian, a tall, strong, handsome man, was taking a quiz on his iPhone. He chose the category, Spanish.
"First Question," The phone said.
The question popped up on the screen and the phone read it aloud:
"What is the Spanish word for Moon?"
Lando read over the options:
La Luna
El Luna
El Moona
Sombrero
He thought for a while and finally made his decision.
La Luna
El Luna
El Moona
Sombrero
"Incorrect," the phone replied.
"What?" Lando exclaimed.
Later that day when night came to pass, Lando decided to go to bed. He put on his super hero pajamas. He went into the bathroom and got out his electric toothbrush. He then put a mountain of tooth paste on his tooth brush and began to clean his teeth. Tooth paste oozed from his mouth as he made his teeth white and clean. When he was finished, he grinned really big to show off his shiny teeth. He threw away his tooth brush and toothpaste tube because he used it all up in one night. Before he got in bed he decided to stare at the stars for a little while. But when he saw the moon, he was met with a nasty shock. The moon had turned into a sombrero!
When he saw this, he fainted.
In the morning, he woke up and noticed that his window was covered in green slush. He ran outside, butt-naked and filled a container with guacamole, thinking it was tooth paste. When he was about to run back inside, guacamole fell from the sombrero moon and soaked him. He ignored this and went inside.
"FREE GUACAMOLE! YES!" he shouted.
He grabbed his knitting supplies, and started making a guacamole version of everything. He made guacamole underwear (which he put on), closets, lamps (with electricity), TV, fire, chairs, tissues, pillows, beds, and clothes. Then, all of a sudden, a tall bald man covered in guacamole burst in and turned on the TV. The news was on.
"Alert! The moon has now turned into a sombrero! Watch out for falling guacamole!" the weather man shouted. Suddenly, guacamole fell onto him and the screen turned to static.
"Look at that!" Mace Windu, the bald man cried.
"Mace! How's it going?" Lando said, still cheery.
"Put some clothes on!"
"Okay, okay, I will."
"What's up with the sombrero?!"
"Well, I was taking a Spanish quiz on my Quizzit app and it asked me, 'what is the Spanish word for moon?' So I chose sombrero."
"YOU FAIL!" Mace barked. "Don't you know that Quizzit is cursed? Whatever answer you chose becomes reality! I cannot believe you chose sombrero!"
"Look on the bright side, free guacamole," Lando replied.
Then, Lott Dod, an old Neimoidian representative knocked on the door.
"Come in," Lando said.
Lott Dod stepped in and said, "I have a plan about our problem. We can build a time machine, go back in time and get the answer right."
"Great idea! Let's get started!" Lando exclaimed.
Lott Dod then ran to the store, bought boat loads of wood and came back. "Were gonna build a TARDIS."
They immediately got to work on building the outer shell to look like a police box. Once they were done, Lott Dod got to work on the inside. He build a teleportation device and teleported himself to the inside. He build the interior, complete with time travel technology, bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, a wardrobe (that's 100 ft3), and a swimming pool. Once he was done, he teleported back to the real world and installed the teleportation device into the doorway so that it looked like you were stepping into a time machine rather than a police box.
He went back in time and told the past Lando what the real answer was which was #3, El Luna. When he traveled to the present time again, Mace wasn't at Lando's house any more, guacamole wasn't covering the city, and in the place of the sombrero was a real moon.