So, this is a new fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it and leave reviews to let me know what you think about it. And, as always, I do NOT own NCIS or its characters.

Losing someone is always hard. Everyone takes it different and everyone feels different. Some need more, some need less time to move on, and some don't move on at all. Some cry, some grow up, some are the opposite of themselves. But in the end, the lost one will always be remembered. And there will always be times that remind one of that lost person. John Irving wrote in his novel A Prayer for Owen Meany, »When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you loser her in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes - when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever - there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.«
And he is right. There are always things that remind us of the person we lost and we always get reminded of something and we suddenly feel how much we miss them. We think we miss them more and more, but what can we do? What can we do to get better? What can we do to heal? Nothing.

It was early summer, more spring. May to be specific. It wasn't too cold or too hot outside. So it wasn't too cold to be at a crime scene for a long time and neither was it too hot to run after a suspect. But for now, eight in the morning, the team was in the still fresh nature. They had been working on the same case for weeks and were all glad when they got to finally close it the day before. The new case was about a Petty Officer. He had a purse with him so McGee could identify him as Petty Officer Don Brandy. The young Petty Officer was stabbed in the armpit and then he was laid on the ground, having a bouquet on his torso. Ziva supposed it was a sign of apology. When Tony should bag and tag the flowers, he saw that they were from Martha's Garden, which reminded him of the day he had given flowers from Martha's Garden to Kate as apology.
When Gibbs noticed that Tony stood in front of the truck, looking at the bouquet, Gibbs left the crime scene and joined him. Recognizing the place the flowers were from, he looked at Tony.
"She loved those flowers", Gibbs said low-voiced and Tony looked at him.
Tony remembered the day he got Kate flowers as if it was yesterday.
Kate had put the colorful bouquet she got from Tony in a vase and put it on her desk. She smiled. The case they had been working on was just closed and Tony wanted to apology to Kate for being so teasing lately.
McGee joined them in the bullpen and looked at the flowers, "Wow, those are really pretty, Kate. Who are they from?"
Kate smiled big and looked over to Tony. With her lovely voice she excited answered, "Tony."
Tony grinned before replying, "We had a tough couple of days. Kate pointed out that I'd taken one too many liberties. The flowers are a mea culpa."
"Tony, I'm blown away. They're gorgeous," Kate checked the cart which was in the bouquet, "and they're from Martha's Garden, my favorite florist! How did you know?"
Tony acted surprised and innocent, "Lucky guess."
Then Gibbs joined them and talked while walking to his desk, "He went through your purse and got the phone number off your PDA."
Tony just grinned innocently while Kate's smile faded away and turned into that killer stare she'd give him all the time.
"I know", Tony replied. For a second neither one said anything and so Gibbs left, leaving Tony alone with his thoughts.
A little wind came up through Tonys hair. The wind streaked his face, giving him the feeling as if a ghost was passing him. Looking back, the team had been through a lot already. But no matter what happened, Tony noticed that the team had changed. Yes, clearly, since Kate's death, everyone had changed. Not all negative, they all grew and went through more and more situations, teaching them some new lessons of life. But yet, everytime he remembered some moment with Kate, he noticed that everyone was... better. It all was brighter and... funnier. Not that the job was all funny, it was sad to face the dead's everyday. But funnier as in the people who worked with Tony. But maybe they just all got older and calmer.

Back at NCIS, Gibbs told Tony to bring the bouquet to Abby.
Once, Abby had bought Tony a bouquet of roses. Of course they were black, since they came from the happy goth.
Walking into the lab, a rock song greeted Tony. Everytime he walked into the lab, he was wondering how many songs she knew. He was working with her for so many years but yet he had never heard a song twice.
"You're bringing me flowers?" Abby greeted the Special Agent ironically, while turning the volume down.
"Of course", he replied in the same way, laying the flowers on the table, "Gibbs wants you to find out from which exact store they're from."
Abby checked the flower card. "Martha's Garden?"
Tony nodded before looking down.
"You once got Kate flowers from Martha's Garden..." Abby started, slowly remembering the time.
"She told you?"
"Yes... she told me you went through her purse", Abby grinned when remembering the moment.
"How mad was she?"
"Mad?" Abby seemed surprised.
"Yes, mad. Cause when she found out that I went through her purse to get the number, she gave me that killer stare she'd always give me when I did something bad."
Abby grinned, "No, she wasn't mad. She came to me and told me about that and then she smiled and said 'I should be mad, but I'm not. It's kind of sweet that he did that to impress me.'"
"Really? That's what she said?" Tony was surprised. He thought she was about to kill him. He was glad that she wasn't mad. And it made him smile that she found it sweet of him. He was feeling happiness. It kind of made his day that he sort of learned something new about Kate.
"That's what she said", Abby replied, smiling.
"Thank you."

"Abby told me the bouquet was from Martha's Garden", Ducky said when Gibbs was in autopsy with him.
"Yes. Have you found anything yet?"
"Well he's clearly been stabbed in his right armpit", the doctor stated, holding the arm of the Petty Officer up.
"Why the armpit?"
"Well, when your armpits are bleeding it is hard to stop it and there is a big possibility that you'll be bleeding out. We human beings are having eight percent blood in our bodies. How many liters we have in our bodies is dependent on our weight. Looking at the Petty Officer, I suppose him to have had six liters blood in his body. Losing one liter, we come in shock. That leaves him five liters. Losing two liters causes us our death. And the murderer has cut a point in the Petty Officer, that made him bleed out fast. He might have lived thirty seconds before he died", Ducky explained.
"So he wanted to torture him, but not too long?"
"That is one possibility. Or maybe the murderer of our young victim had no gun or no idea of how to kill someone without a knife or gun."
"That means, it could've been everyone!"
"It means it was a clever murderer. I mean, there is no bullet so we cannot see from what gun it is from and also no other weapon that could give us fingerprints or DNA."

It had been years since Kate was dead. But yet, Tony sometimes woke up thinking that he'd go to work and have another argument with Kate. But then, as soon as he got up, he would notice that she was gone. Instead, there was an Israeli, former Mossad Officer, sitting at the desk of the Catholic woman. And from all the people who could've taken the place of Caitlin Todd, it was the half-sister of Ari Haswari, the guy who had shot Kate to death.
Tony still found himself waking up in the middle of the night, dreaming about the most horrible change in his life. And this night, it was the same nightmare, or like Kate would say, Bête Noire, he'd always have.
He and Gibbs were helping her up, "Protection detail's over, Kate", Gibbs said.
"You did good", Tony said when she finally stood.
Gibbs and Tony looked at her. The woman with that beautiful, soft brown hair. She had just saved Gibbs' life. "For once, DiNozzo's right", Gibbs said. In that moment, Tony was feeling awesome. It wasn't often that Gibbs would give him a compliment. If Gibbs' showed love to anyone, it was either Abby or Ducky. Tony, Kate and McGee would mostly get headslaps, but he knew that it was what he did because of sympathy. But yet, a compliment was what Tony preferred. Also Kate noticed the compliment and giggled because it was something she sort of never heard before. She giggled and said, "Wow, I thought I'd die before I ever heard a comp..." SHOT.
Tony woke up, all sweating. "Kate", he said while raising up in his bed. He noticed it was a nightmare. But also, he knew, this nightmare was reality. It wasn't just some nightmare he could forget. It was his past.
His breath was heavy at first, but he slowly relaxed and laid back in bed.
Everytime he woke up from this dream, he felt the warm blood on the right side of his face. He saw her dying. He saw her falling to the ground. He saw how she lied on the ground, more and more blood coming out of the back of her head. Her eyes were open. Her eyes were dead. She was dead.

"You're looking tired, DiNozzo. Everything's alright?" Gibbs asked when Tony entered the bullpen. It was early in the morning but Tony didn't want to stay alone in his apartment. Yes, NCIS reminded him of Kate, too, but he had to do his job and it was better than being alone. Cause when he was alone, he would think about these seconds. The seconds in which she died and fell on the ground.
Tony threw his backpack in the corner and sat down at his desk, "I'm fine. Just slept bad."
It was just then when Tony noticed that neither McGee nor Ziva were there yet.
"Has Abby found anything out yet?" Tony tried to change the subject. Gibbs knew Tony obviously didn't want to talk about it, so he accepted it and just answered Tony's question. "No, not yet."
"Really? But she's Abby, she..." They got cut off by the ring of Gibbs' desk phone.
Gibbs took the phone to his ear, "Yeah?"
Tony watched his boss listening to the person he was talking to. A few seconds later Gibbs said, "We're coming", before lying the phone back and walking to the elevator with Tony. Of course he didn't bother telling Tony who was calling or what the news were, but Tony got used to that and he would find out in a few seconds anyway.

"Turn it down", Gibbs loudly said when he and Tony entered Abbys lab, loud music coming in their ears. Abby immediately turned the volume down and Gibbs started talking, "Okay, now tell us. Whatcha got?"
"Alright", Abby walked to her table, followed by the two agents. She then pulled out the card which was in the bouquet. "This is the card we found in the bouquet. First I thought it was just a label with the name of the store. But then I noticed that you can open the card and there was a message", Abby looked at Gibbs.
"For whom?"
"Us", Abby replied, earning a questionable expression from Tony and Gibbs.
"What does it say?" Tony asked. The forensic scientist opened the card and showed them.
"Congratulations, you almost won. But for the jackpot you've got to find the other body. But it's not here. It's in Minneapolis", Tony read out loud.

So, that was Chapter 1 :-) Please leave a review to let me know what you think, and I'll continue soon.