Warnings: Contains spoilers for His Last Vow - Sherlock s3e3 and mentions of abuse.
I do not own anything.
John didn't have to speak. Molly knew. The grim look in his eyes as he dragged a semi-conscious Sherlock into Bart's said it all.
Molly's lips pressed into a thin line as she waited for the results. She was violently reminded of the last time she had to do this.
It was several years ago, back when Molly was new to Bart's. She had been overwhelmed by the way he stormed in and demanded use of the lab equipment. She remembered his horrible attitude and his belligerence. Mostly, she remembered his mood swings. He would come in exuberantly happy, thrilled with a case, and leave in a terrible mood. He would throw things, scream, and get violent.
Molly learned to flinch away, turn her face, and comply with his requests out of fear of his reactions. More than once his anger had turned on her. The pathologist just took it. She always took the abuse without protest.
She feared for the people who received his anger once he left Bart's. Sherlock was unpredictable and dangerous when on drugs. A thin scar tracing the curve of her wrist was her reminder of that harsh truth. When some tests he ran came back indecisive, he fell into a fit of anger. He flung the beaker full of chemicals across the room. Picking up a shard, he threatened the pathologist, telling her it was all her fault. She must have contaminated the samples, she was to blame. The small woman kept her head down, waiting for the insanity to pass. She did not expect his hand to swipe down at her and nick her wrist. Her blood dripped to the bleached white floor, staining it.
But she tolerated him. She was the only person in Bart's who did. The day she came in to him hunched over, unconscious at the microscope; Molly had been frightened. It was unreasonable, she knew, but she didn't want him dead, nor did she even want him hurt.
She called for Greg, and with his help, they stabilized him. He had hard drugs in his system, and they'd been there for a while. It took him overdosing for Molly to figure it out. She felt hot shame in her face when she saw the results and realized her mistake. How could she have been so foolish? How did she not see it sooner?
She didn't expect a relapse. His ashen face scared her. The pathologist's blood roared in her ears, spurring on her fear and anger. How he could he do this to himself? To John?
The results came back positive, and fear shifted to anger. Looking down at the floor, and seeing where her blood stained the tile all those years ago, her temper erupted. She ripped her gloves off, and brusquely gave the news to John.
Her posture was sharp and precise as she stood in front of Sherlock. He was a mess. His hair was knotted, face unshaven, and he smelled like urine and alcohol. Overall, it was unpleasant and uncomfortably familiar, and further stoked the fire burning in Molly.
She slapped him. Not once, but three times. Each time her hand came down, he knew he deserved it.
Her voice was controlled as she spoke, "How dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were born with. And how dare you betray the love of your friends."
Her anger continued to rise and Sherlock saw the pain in her eyes. Shame coursed through Sherlock's body at this realization. He was subjecting her to this pain again. The pain of seeing him flicker between sanity and insanity. He was walking the fine line of danger while he injected poison into his body, and seeing that killed her. Guilt still racked him when he thought of the sickle-shaped scar on her wrist that he put there.
Gentle, caring Molly. She was always there for him, she helped him get well, helped him break his drug habit. She was patient and kind before, but now she was mad. His relapse infuriated her. She gave everything for him, and he paid her back with a relapse. Back to old habits. It was for a case, but it didn't matter to the pathologist. She was still furious with him, and for good reason. Sherlock knew he deserved it. Deserved it and much more.
He knew what he did to her while he was an addict. He knew the slight fear that used to taint their interactions was there because of him. But still, Molly chose to forgive him. Sherlock Holmes did not deserve her kindness or her love, but he wanted them. He appreciated them silently. Even though it was wrong, he enjoyed her fussing over him. It made him feel important. Like he mattered to this woman, this woman who mattered the most. It took too long to realize what he was doing to her, and now when he wanted to make it up to her, it was too late.
Or was it?
Damn him for the hope that bloomed in his stomach when her slaps came with no engagement ring.
Oh! His Last Vow left me excited and confused! I can't wait for season 4! Your thoughts?
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day.