Where am I?
I looked around, but my eyes felt…foreign. As if I'm out of my body all over again. But how can that be? I'm not a shinigami anymore.
Ever since Rukia left, the days just seemed to drag by slowly, boorishly…painfully.
The sky was a bright crimson, and I was walking. But it was weird, since I couldn't hear any sound, nor do I feel any presence of life. It's just like a big illusion.
"I should wake up," I mumbled, as I looked down. I tried to stop walking but my body didn't listen. No, scratch that, I'm not in my body.
My shadow was different. It was petite and short, no matter how long the setting sun stretched it. And this figure…it was familiar. The approximate height of this body, the shape of the hair…I've been too familiar with this that there's no mistaking it. And I can see a pair of shoes, as well. With that familiar pace, I knew that it was me.
I'm seeing things through Rukia's point of view.
Just as she was about to lift her head, the scene began to dissolve. We were back in my room, together with Kon. It was when I was a lot younger, back when I was fifteen. Did I really look like that? Kon began holding Rukia, and I felt irritated about it.
Just when she was about to take brush him off, everything morphed again. In her eyes, everything was slower, and I could observe more things. For every moment that she shared with us, it seemed that she took a mental snapshot out of it. We're down in the kitchen now, together with my old man, Karin and Yuzu. In that moment, everything just froze, and I could see my sisters' sincere smiles and my indifferent look as well. But honestly speaking, I was grateful. I'm grateful every time I get to spend times like these with my family. Eating together and doing idiotic stuff together. I loved every moment of it, and by the warmth that this view in front of me gave me, it's safe to say that Rukia liked this life as well.
"Rukia, you better hurry up," I murmured, "come home already…"
Just then, everything changed again. I didn't complain. I want to see what she sees. I don't want to wake up just yet.
School. We're in school, and there were us, boys, fooling around. This could be considered as an ordinary day…I never thought that she'll remember this. I wonder, then, just how these simple scenes could actually mean to her. I hate her guts, sometimes, because she won't hesitate to do the right thing. But then again, that's the Rukia I know, and I personally won't change her for anyone else.
"Ah," I breathed out, as the scene changed, "the school grounds, huh?" It was lunch, and she used to hang out with Inoue and the other girls. So she could still be a girl, if she wants to, huh?
And then a petal flew by, and the scene changed again. But just the same, it showed us. Uryu, Inoue, Chad and I. We all looked so important to her, just as she was important to us…to me.
And then, just like that, everything began to melt away again. My eyes widened as the following staccato scenes flashed before me.
They were all faces of me.
The time we ate lunch on the rooftop when I was still new to being a shinigami.
When we were fooling around in my room.
When I grinned at something she said.
When I led another lost soul, shaking the little guy's hand.
When I turned my back on her and at the same time beckoning her.
When we were walking home, and I was talking, and I looked at her, at the same time bumping my fist gently against her forehead.
When the both of us, together with the others, watched the sunset by the river.
When I was desperately trying to defeat a hollow.
When I was all bloody, and I was screaming some things at her.
When the Renji and the others went to school.
When I was standing in front of her the day I rescued her from Soul Society.
And finally…the day that we separated. She was floating away, further and further, until finally, the door closed behind her.
At that very moment, my eyes snapped open. I can feel everything, and hear the rustling of my sheets as I moved.
Just as I thought, it was all a dream. I sat up and I felt something trickle down from my eyes. I suddenly reached for my cheek.
"Damn it," I seethed, but I didn't bother wiping them away.
Those scenes, did that really matter to Rukia? Was that how she saw me? I actually looked cool in those.
But the question that I'm really pondering on right now is this: was that how I see her?
In her point of view, I noticed my eyes. They were different. Somehow, despite out bickering, my eyes looked soft and gentle whenever I look at her. And the need to protect her became stronger inside me all the more.
I'll honestly do everything just to have her back on my side. She changed my world, she changed my perspectives in life.
I finally wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my sweater. It was still dark, so I rested my head and I closed my eyes again, hoping to see more of her views or better yet, hoping to dream of her again.