The Price Of Immortality
Journal of Roll Light
February 12, 2074
I was shocked when that woman brought back Rock's head... It was so lifeless and horrible... But when Doctor Light told me he could be repaired I had hope that I might see him again. Now Doctor Light is growing ill, his old age is catching up with him. I know he won't last much longer, I will miss him dearly when it happens, but at least Rock will be back... We can be brother and sister again... I'm looking forward to that day almost as much as I'm dreading Doctor Light's unavoidable death... He's my father, and I love him with all my heart... I just hope he lives long enough so we can all be a family again, like we should have been all these years. If only Wily hadn't interfered, we could have lived happily and maybe even now we would be...
August 12, 2074
It's finally happening... Doctor Lights strength is failing him. I watch him stumble more often every day, his face growing more and more gaunt and wrinkled almost every second... Soon I know he'll pass away and I'll be left alone... But still, there's one glimmer of hope for a family. Doctor Light has rebuilt Rock with a slightly different design, but it's him! I hope he will remember me and we can be together again. I will have somebody to be with even after... I can't say it anymore... I just hope he'll come back... We can go through life together... Like we always wanted...
August 14, 2074
Doctor Light has just told me that he can't bring back Rock, at least not the way he was. He'd had to totally dump his memory core and start from scratch. Same personality, but he won't remember anything, even me! The worst part of it all is he can't finish Rock's rebuilding, and he doesn't trust anyone else with the job, he doesn't want to risk another Wily tampering with his systems. So he's going to encase him in a stasis capsule that will finish the reprogramming, but it won't finish for fifty years! On top of all this, Doctor Light's still looking worse, and though he tries to be jovial about it, I can see he knows the end is coming as well as I do. What can I do? If he dies and Rock won't be alive again for fifty years... I'll be alone... For the first time in my life. He told me he's willing to put me in stasis with Rock... But I can't bear the thought of being trapped in that coffin... So I've decided to strike out on my own. I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do... But I'll just have to get by... Alone...
August 27, 2074
It's over... Doctor Light's dead... I knew it would happen soon but... It's one thing to know and another to... watch it happen. They were burying the capsule my brother is even now trapped inside when he just suddenly fell over. More than one person has mentioned the irony of the fact that he died just after they finished sealing the capsule in its little tomb. I am now alone... Wholly alone... I know the other humans don't trust me, they're always staring at me suspiciously, like I am about to go ballistic and destroy a few dozen buildings. I'm not even a war machine, I couldn't destroy a doghouse easily let alone a building. More than once now I've been attacked in the street, saved only by the intrusion of the policemen who have been assigned to protect me, as that was apparently Doctor Lights last wish. It's lonely, I don't want to live like this, I want things to be like they were before... I want to be accepted, not feared...
September 10, 2074
I've decided to leave the big city. I already have a nice small town picked out in Florida next to the beach. Few people really go there and I'm hoping nobody there will know about what I really am... I can live by myself peacefully without fear of being attacked. Still lonely, but at least I won't be afraid anymore. The money for the house is no problem, as I have a tidy budget from the government to work with, I'm their prize object. No matter how many ways they put it "I'm the last of my kind" or "I'm one in a million" what they really mean is "You're ours and we want you safe". I'm not complaining, their help has kept me alive so far, I shudder to think what might have happened without their protection. Hopefully though, after I move, I won't need it anymore.
October 1, 2074
I've arrived in Florida and settled into my new home. It's a nice big place with a wonderful view of the ocean, again thanks in large part to government funding. There are some perks to being somebody's property. Anyway I've been wandering around town, meeting some of the people. They're for the most part really nice, all of them helpful and none of them looked at me angrily or suspiciously, though the clerk at the grocery store obviously was worried I'd try to steal something. I learned later that a couple kids kept breaking in and taking a few pieces of food and he could never seem to catch them. The only thing that marred this wonderful day was that every single one of them kept asking me where my parents were. Why oh WHY did I have to be built as a young girl? I wouldn't have these problems as an adult or even a teenager. I couldn't answer them, I just dodged their questions and went on about my business. I know I'll have to tell them SOMETHING eventually or they'll grow REALLY suspicious and raise attention to me, attention I definitely don't want.
October 20, 2074
Well, people are so far buying that my parents on vacation. It's the best I can come up with for now, and will work until I think up something more permanent. Aside from that though life's been really great. I've been getting to know people around town and they're all really nice. I've even been hit on by a few young boys, who I presume are around the age I look. An interesting experience, but not really something I'd want to continue. Right now everyone's getting ready for the big Halloween festival. I remember at Doctor Lights lab, every year at this time he'd get me a little something to help me cope with life... But anyway, it looks like out here the kids will all be taken around town to ask people for candy. I've already had three boys ask me to go with them, so I just picked one at random and agreed, much to the chagrin of his peers. Even here in this town I seem to be a commodity, but with these kids it's more... innocent and playful. They like how I look obviously, I was made as a beautiful young girl, but I think it also has to do with my personality. Again though, I wouldn't look forward to a long lasting relationship with any of them, they are only kids.
October 31, 2074
I'm so happy! The people around here throw WONDERFUL parties! Everything you could want was there, music, dancing, candlelight... After this "trick-or-treating" thing I went on we all went to a wonderfully gorgeous party. Everything was so perfect, the moon shining onto the ocean water just made the most romantic atmosphere ever! One of the boys my physical age, Jeremy, even asked me to dance. I almost said no to look for more mature company, but that would definitely look suspicious and the last thing I want is prying eyes. So we danced, he was really quite clumsy at it, but his face was so cute and he was trying so hard I gave him an 800 for effort. Almost made me wish I was a real little girl... But enough of foolish flights of fancy. After dancing Jeremy went with me for a little stroll on the beach. Not too far away from the party of course, or his mom would have killed him, but just away from the party a bit. It was the most romantic time I ever had, but of course the boy was still young and mostly talked about comic books and TV shows. Still... I really enjoyed this night, and I'll certainly never forget it.
November 5, 2074
Yikes, people are beginning to question my little vacation story. What do I tell them? Can I trust them with the truth? Would they fear me as much as the people in the city had? No... I can't tell them, not yet anyway. I think they might understand, but even so, it would change everything about how they looked at me. They'd see me as an object just like the government or even worse, an outsider to their community. I don't want to be outcast, I'm beginning to really feel like a part of this place and all its people, the last thing I want is to not be a part of it anymore. I'm going to have to stall for time, maybe I can make them forget about it and everything will blow over.
November 12, 2074
It's over! They've found out about me... They know I'm not human... The looks on their faces just... It was too painful, I tore out of their sobbing and... I need to leave this place... Go somewhere I can start over... Is this how my life's always going to be? Live for a while then move away when they find out the truth? I don't know if I can handle it... Ma
November 13, 2074
Jeremy came into my room in the middle of my last journal entry and we had the most wonderful talk. He was so grown up and just seemed genuinely curious about me. Worried as well, I've never had anyone but Doctor Light really worried about me before, but he seemed more concerned about how their reactions were making me feel than what I really was. Bless his heart, the boy's probably saved my sanity. After our talk he actually had the guts to ask me to go steady, despite the truth. I couldn't help but agree, I'm not likely to find anybody else like him ever, and I have the patience to wait until he grows up a little to start a real relationship. I just hope that when he grows up, and I'm still the same little girl, that he can find it in his heart to love me for real...
December 26, 2074
It's been a long time journal, the people and festivities have been keeping me busy. Jeremy has been just wonderful in every way, even had our first kiss yesterday during the Christmas celebration. It was so wonderful... Everything was absolutely perfect. We wound up outside on the patio looking up at the moon, him wearing eight layers of jackets because of the cold, me in my red dress. It must have been quite a sight for those people walking by, but I don't care. Then he just got me talking and next thing I knew he kissed me. I've never felt that kind of thing before... Is my internal power generator supposed to stop for a few second when I'm kissed or am I malfunctioning? Better run an internal diagnostic soon...
March 5, 2079
Whew, a long time indeed. Had to brush the dust off the old book to maybe make a journal entry. Not that I need it to remember, I do have a photographic memory, but still it's nice to do. Lately I find Jeremy's eye wandering from me to other girls. It's not totally unexpected, as other girls are growing and developing in places I never will. Maybe I was stupid to think he'd be able to resist all this temptation at this stage in his life to stay with me. He is now a teenage boy after all, the most wild beast on the planet. While I'm still a little girl physically. Often when we're snuggling I find him shying away, as though afraid he was doing something wrong. I've told him over and over that I am a young girl in body only, that I am really as smart and mature as he is. He usually just nods and forces himself to relax, but he hasn't been totally comfortable around me for a long time. Maybe I should let him go, not try to hold onto him...
May 18, 2079
Jeremy's left me and sought out real girls. Not surprising, but it still leaves a pretty big gap in my life. I'm alone again, despite the rest of the townsfolk trying their best to cheer me up and make me feel like one of them. I watch him dating another girl and it just... I don't know, something happens to me. I remember all the time we were together on the beach and at that first Christmas party. Memories are all I have now... Of any happy times in my life. Doctor Light... Rock... I miss you. It's been five years and I still miss you as much as I did then... Time passes too slowly for a robot, every nano-second that passes a billion thoughts surge through my head. Nearly all of them memories of what I've lost, what I have to look forward to... More life with more losses. It will never end for me... I can never have a husband, despite the towns hospitality I will never be one of them... Maybe I should finally end it... There's no reason to drag this existence on any longer.
January 1, 2080
I've decided to end it... It's just too much and... I can't take it anymore... Watching everyone I know learn and get older while I'm eternally a child in their eyes. I will never have any real happiness... Doctor Light... I'll see you soon...
________________________________________________________________________________
X looks up from the diary, his eyes dry, being unable to produce tears. His face though is a mask of grief for the sister he'd never known. The life he didn't remember. Now he knew why he couldn't remember, it had been stripped away after he'd been destroyed and he'd been re-built without those memories. He'd been searching for the answers to the questions surrounding his creation, and he'd just found a huge piece of the puzzle. How had he been destroyed though? It really didn't matter...
"Are you coming X?" Zero says, looking at him from the next room.
"Yeah..." He says, picking up and aged diary and taking it with him as he joins his friend on his way out of the old abandoned home. He had another piece of the puzzle surrounding his creation, but more was missing. If only Roll had lived to today she probably could have told him everything he wanted to know. As it was, he had only her memories and experiences to go by. Though he couldn't help but wonder what his sister had been like, from the diary, she'd been one heck of a girl.
THE END
Journal of Roll Light
February 12, 2074
I was shocked when that woman brought back Rock's head... It was so lifeless and horrible... But when Doctor Light told me he could be repaired I had hope that I might see him again. Now Doctor Light is growing ill, his old age is catching up with him. I know he won't last much longer, I will miss him dearly when it happens, but at least Rock will be back... We can be brother and sister again... I'm looking forward to that day almost as much as I'm dreading Doctor Light's unavoidable death... He's my father, and I love him with all my heart... I just hope he lives long enough so we can all be a family again, like we should have been all these years. If only Wily hadn't interfered, we could have lived happily and maybe even now we would be...
August 12, 2074
It's finally happening... Doctor Lights strength is failing him. I watch him stumble more often every day, his face growing more and more gaunt and wrinkled almost every second... Soon I know he'll pass away and I'll be left alone... But still, there's one glimmer of hope for a family. Doctor Light has rebuilt Rock with a slightly different design, but it's him! I hope he will remember me and we can be together again. I will have somebody to be with even after... I can't say it anymore... I just hope he'll come back... We can go through life together... Like we always wanted...
August 14, 2074
Doctor Light has just told me that he can't bring back Rock, at least not the way he was. He'd had to totally dump his memory core and start from scratch. Same personality, but he won't remember anything, even me! The worst part of it all is he can't finish Rock's rebuilding, and he doesn't trust anyone else with the job, he doesn't want to risk another Wily tampering with his systems. So he's going to encase him in a stasis capsule that will finish the reprogramming, but it won't finish for fifty years! On top of all this, Doctor Light's still looking worse, and though he tries to be jovial about it, I can see he knows the end is coming as well as I do. What can I do? If he dies and Rock won't be alive again for fifty years... I'll be alone... For the first time in my life. He told me he's willing to put me in stasis with Rock... But I can't bear the thought of being trapped in that coffin... So I've decided to strike out on my own. I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do... But I'll just have to get by... Alone...
August 27, 2074
It's over... Doctor Light's dead... I knew it would happen soon but... It's one thing to know and another to... watch it happen. They were burying the capsule my brother is even now trapped inside when he just suddenly fell over. More than one person has mentioned the irony of the fact that he died just after they finished sealing the capsule in its little tomb. I am now alone... Wholly alone... I know the other humans don't trust me, they're always staring at me suspiciously, like I am about to go ballistic and destroy a few dozen buildings. I'm not even a war machine, I couldn't destroy a doghouse easily let alone a building. More than once now I've been attacked in the street, saved only by the intrusion of the policemen who have been assigned to protect me, as that was apparently Doctor Lights last wish. It's lonely, I don't want to live like this, I want things to be like they were before... I want to be accepted, not feared...
September 10, 2074
I've decided to leave the big city. I already have a nice small town picked out in Florida next to the beach. Few people really go there and I'm hoping nobody there will know about what I really am... I can live by myself peacefully without fear of being attacked. Still lonely, but at least I won't be afraid anymore. The money for the house is no problem, as I have a tidy budget from the government to work with, I'm their prize object. No matter how many ways they put it "I'm the last of my kind" or "I'm one in a million" what they really mean is "You're ours and we want you safe". I'm not complaining, their help has kept me alive so far, I shudder to think what might have happened without their protection. Hopefully though, after I move, I won't need it anymore.
October 1, 2074
I've arrived in Florida and settled into my new home. It's a nice big place with a wonderful view of the ocean, again thanks in large part to government funding. There are some perks to being somebody's property. Anyway I've been wandering around town, meeting some of the people. They're for the most part really nice, all of them helpful and none of them looked at me angrily or suspiciously, though the clerk at the grocery store obviously was worried I'd try to steal something. I learned later that a couple kids kept breaking in and taking a few pieces of food and he could never seem to catch them. The only thing that marred this wonderful day was that every single one of them kept asking me where my parents were. Why oh WHY did I have to be built as a young girl? I wouldn't have these problems as an adult or even a teenager. I couldn't answer them, I just dodged their questions and went on about my business. I know I'll have to tell them SOMETHING eventually or they'll grow REALLY suspicious and raise attention to me, attention I definitely don't want.
October 20, 2074
Well, people are so far buying that my parents on vacation. It's the best I can come up with for now, and will work until I think up something more permanent. Aside from that though life's been really great. I've been getting to know people around town and they're all really nice. I've even been hit on by a few young boys, who I presume are around the age I look. An interesting experience, but not really something I'd want to continue. Right now everyone's getting ready for the big Halloween festival. I remember at Doctor Lights lab, every year at this time he'd get me a little something to help me cope with life... But anyway, it looks like out here the kids will all be taken around town to ask people for candy. I've already had three boys ask me to go with them, so I just picked one at random and agreed, much to the chagrin of his peers. Even here in this town I seem to be a commodity, but with these kids it's more... innocent and playful. They like how I look obviously, I was made as a beautiful young girl, but I think it also has to do with my personality. Again though, I wouldn't look forward to a long lasting relationship with any of them, they are only kids.
October 31, 2074
I'm so happy! The people around here throw WONDERFUL parties! Everything you could want was there, music, dancing, candlelight... After this "trick-or-treating" thing I went on we all went to a wonderfully gorgeous party. Everything was so perfect, the moon shining onto the ocean water just made the most romantic atmosphere ever! One of the boys my physical age, Jeremy, even asked me to dance. I almost said no to look for more mature company, but that would definitely look suspicious and the last thing I want is prying eyes. So we danced, he was really quite clumsy at it, but his face was so cute and he was trying so hard I gave him an 800 for effort. Almost made me wish I was a real little girl... But enough of foolish flights of fancy. After dancing Jeremy went with me for a little stroll on the beach. Not too far away from the party of course, or his mom would have killed him, but just away from the party a bit. It was the most romantic time I ever had, but of course the boy was still young and mostly talked about comic books and TV shows. Still... I really enjoyed this night, and I'll certainly never forget it.
November 5, 2074
Yikes, people are beginning to question my little vacation story. What do I tell them? Can I trust them with the truth? Would they fear me as much as the people in the city had? No... I can't tell them, not yet anyway. I think they might understand, but even so, it would change everything about how they looked at me. They'd see me as an object just like the government or even worse, an outsider to their community. I don't want to be outcast, I'm beginning to really feel like a part of this place and all its people, the last thing I want is to not be a part of it anymore. I'm going to have to stall for time, maybe I can make them forget about it and everything will blow over.
November 12, 2074
It's over! They've found out about me... They know I'm not human... The looks on their faces just... It was too painful, I tore out of their sobbing and... I need to leave this place... Go somewhere I can start over... Is this how my life's always going to be? Live for a while then move away when they find out the truth? I don't know if I can handle it... Ma
November 13, 2074
Jeremy came into my room in the middle of my last journal entry and we had the most wonderful talk. He was so grown up and just seemed genuinely curious about me. Worried as well, I've never had anyone but Doctor Light really worried about me before, but he seemed more concerned about how their reactions were making me feel than what I really was. Bless his heart, the boy's probably saved my sanity. After our talk he actually had the guts to ask me to go steady, despite the truth. I couldn't help but agree, I'm not likely to find anybody else like him ever, and I have the patience to wait until he grows up a little to start a real relationship. I just hope that when he grows up, and I'm still the same little girl, that he can find it in his heart to love me for real...
December 26, 2074
It's been a long time journal, the people and festivities have been keeping me busy. Jeremy has been just wonderful in every way, even had our first kiss yesterday during the Christmas celebration. It was so wonderful... Everything was absolutely perfect. We wound up outside on the patio looking up at the moon, him wearing eight layers of jackets because of the cold, me in my red dress. It must have been quite a sight for those people walking by, but I don't care. Then he just got me talking and next thing I knew he kissed me. I've never felt that kind of thing before... Is my internal power generator supposed to stop for a few second when I'm kissed or am I malfunctioning? Better run an internal diagnostic soon...
March 5, 2079
Whew, a long time indeed. Had to brush the dust off the old book to maybe make a journal entry. Not that I need it to remember, I do have a photographic memory, but still it's nice to do. Lately I find Jeremy's eye wandering from me to other girls. It's not totally unexpected, as other girls are growing and developing in places I never will. Maybe I was stupid to think he'd be able to resist all this temptation at this stage in his life to stay with me. He is now a teenage boy after all, the most wild beast on the planet. While I'm still a little girl physically. Often when we're snuggling I find him shying away, as though afraid he was doing something wrong. I've told him over and over that I am a young girl in body only, that I am really as smart and mature as he is. He usually just nods and forces himself to relax, but he hasn't been totally comfortable around me for a long time. Maybe I should let him go, not try to hold onto him...
May 18, 2079
Jeremy's left me and sought out real girls. Not surprising, but it still leaves a pretty big gap in my life. I'm alone again, despite the rest of the townsfolk trying their best to cheer me up and make me feel like one of them. I watch him dating another girl and it just... I don't know, something happens to me. I remember all the time we were together on the beach and at that first Christmas party. Memories are all I have now... Of any happy times in my life. Doctor Light... Rock... I miss you. It's been five years and I still miss you as much as I did then... Time passes too slowly for a robot, every nano-second that passes a billion thoughts surge through my head. Nearly all of them memories of what I've lost, what I have to look forward to... More life with more losses. It will never end for me... I can never have a husband, despite the towns hospitality I will never be one of them... Maybe I should finally end it... There's no reason to drag this existence on any longer.
January 1, 2080
I've decided to end it... It's just too much and... I can't take it anymore... Watching everyone I know learn and get older while I'm eternally a child in their eyes. I will never have any real happiness... Doctor Light... I'll see you soon...
________________________________________________________________________________
X looks up from the diary, his eyes dry, being unable to produce tears. His face though is a mask of grief for the sister he'd never known. The life he didn't remember. Now he knew why he couldn't remember, it had been stripped away after he'd been destroyed and he'd been re-built without those memories. He'd been searching for the answers to the questions surrounding his creation, and he'd just found a huge piece of the puzzle. How had he been destroyed though? It really didn't matter...
"Are you coming X?" Zero says, looking at him from the next room.
"Yeah..." He says, picking up and aged diary and taking it with him as he joins his friend on his way out of the old abandoned home. He had another piece of the puzzle surrounding his creation, but more was missing. If only Roll had lived to today she probably could have told him everything he wanted to know. As it was, he had only her memories and experiences to go by. Though he couldn't help but wonder what his sister had been like, from the diary, she'd been one heck of a girl.
THE END