Another movie, another fanfic...you know how it is... Tian and I went to see King Arthur this past weekend (Tian's second time, my first). It was a good movie, until they killed off Lancelot and Tristan....
Anywho, this fic has absolutely nothing to do with Attack of the Teenagers and/or the rest of that series. Just the same characters, pretty much.
Disclaimer: Neither Tian nor I own anything having to do with King Arthur. Except the soundtrack. But other than that, nothing.
Warning: If you've never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you will understand very few, if any, of the jokes in this fic. (The title was a line from said movie, and it doesn't really have anything to do with the actual story.)
All right. Moving on...
==
Are You Suggesting Coconuts Migrate?
By: Kaisa Enara and Tian Sirki of Tribloomer
Chapter I: "We Are So Totally Dead..."
"Let me guess...the usual, right?" asked the box-office worker (whose nametag read "Jeanny"). The two teenage girls in front of the counter nodded. She handed them two tickets for the 11:25 show. "Here you go. That'll be $8.40."
The blonde girl produced a ten-dollar bill, while the girl with the braids frowned. "$8.40?" she asked. "That's way less than we usually pay."
Jeanny shrugged. "Twenty-percent discount since you've been here so much. Think of it as...frequent-flyer miles, but at a movie theater." The girl with the braids nodded, understanding. Jeanny took the blonde's money, and said, "Enjoy the show."
The girls smiled and chorused, "Don't worry. We will." They started off toward the escalator.
==
Torie and Alee were going to see King Arthur for the seventeenth time. They both wore backpacks loaded down with candy and a few other choice items. Torie, the blonde, wore a t-shirt that proclaimed "I ♥ Tristan", while Alee (the one with the braids) sported a similar one that said "I ♥ Lancelot". Wooden swords from the Renaissance Festival were belted to their sides.
They were at the cinema at Park Place Mall, which Torie lived near. Alee practically lived near it as well, seeing as how she was spending more and more of her time at Torie's house. Seeing this particular movie was depleting their funds, but it was (in their minds at least) a small price to pay for to get to see Mads Mikkelsen and Ioan Gruffudd so much.
So, after stopping by the arcade for a quick round of DDR, they entered the theater and sat in their favorite seats (the ones with the rail in front of them). They talked through the previews they'd seen over and over again, and then, the movie started. Torie and Alee put their feet up on the rail, smiling, and began popping Nerds and Zours.
The two girls squealed delightedly whenever their favorite characters appeared on screen, and whenever the movie showed horseback scenes, they would clap the coconut halves they'd brought with them (a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Fifteen minutes into the movie, the rest of the audience was peeved at the regulars, to say the least. They awaited with dread the fabled screeches that would pour forth from the two girls when Lancelot and Tristan died.
And then, much to the annoyance and/or dismay, the movie got to the part that showed all the knights dining at the Round Table. Alee and Torie opened their backpacks and produced several Lego knights, waved them around, and sung at the top of their lungs, "We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able..."
They didn't get much further than that when the audience finally lost their cools and started flinging everything from their popcorn to their cell phones at the two. =Anything= to shut them up.
Alee and Torie knew it was time to bail. They packed up the Legos and the candy, and ran like heck toward the doors. But the movie theater employee wouldn't let them through, obviously as eager to see the girls' reign of terror ended as the audience.
So they turned and headed in the other direction, toward the emergency exit at the side of the screen. But when they had gotten to the first row of seats, a wall of people stood before them, blocking their escape.
Now, any normal person would have realized they were trapped and admitted defeat then and there. But Alee and Torie were far from normal.
They climbed up onto the seats, and then attempted to jump =over= their captors. Well, it worked. A bit too well, really. The girls had gone sailing over the heads of the audience and right toward the movie screen. Both of them had roughly the same thought going through their heads. =Oh, crap, we're gonna die...but hey, if I'm lucky, I'll die on an image of Mads'/Iowan's face...=
The moviegoers turned to watch. But the girls, instead of going =splat= as everyone had expected, went right =through= the screen, not leaving a single mark. They stared for a moment. Then, almost in unison, the audience picked up their fallen projectiles, sat back down, and resumed watching the movie, this time in peace.
==
Torie was the first of the two to wake up, although she couldn't remember having fallen asleep. The first thing she noticed was that she was outside. The second thing she noticed was that it was cold. Way too cold to be Arizona in the summer.
As she looked around in an attempt to figure out where she was, her eyes fell on the sleeping form of her best friend. She shook her and said, "Alee...Alee, wake up!"
Alee rolled over onto her other side and muttered, "Uh-uh...five more minutes..."
Torie sighed, brandished her sword, and whacked Alee with it.
=That= woke her up. "What was that for?!" she yelled. "I mean really! Um, where are we?"
Torie shrugged. "I dunno. The last thing I remember was flying toward the movie screen. Maybe we're dead?"
"I never thought of that," Alee said. "But in any case, I'm going to go look around, okay?" She walked off, and turned a corner around a stand of trees. Torie waited.
Not two minutes later, Alee returned at a run. Her eyes had widened to about the size of quarters.
"What? What'd you see?" Torie asked eagerly.
Alee took a moment to catch her breath. "We are so totally dead," she said excitedly. "Because we've got to be in heaven."
"What on Earth is that supposed to mean?" the other girl asked.
Alee motioned for her to follow. They walked for about a minute, until they came upon a group of horsemen. A group of very =familiar= horsemen, especially since Alee and Torie had been watching their movie for the seventeenth time earlier.
Torie's eyes immediately flew to the man with the hawk on his forearm, while Alee looked to the dark-haired man on the black horse. Then they looked back to each other.
"Oh...my...God!" they said in unison. And then, they began doing the Happy Hamster Dance.
"I can't believe it! We're either dead, which I'm beginning to doubt," Alee said. "Or we fell into the movie when we hit the screen. That is so =cool=!"
"I don't know," Torie said, glancing back at Arthur and the knights. "I mean, if we were in the movie, wouldn't they be headed toward that village? They're just standing there."
The knights, who were close enough to be in sight, but far enough to be out of earshot, were indeed just sitting there on their horses, looking rather restless. One of the horses, however, was riderless.
Torie and Alee counted them. "Okay, so...Arthur's there, Lancelot and Tristan, obviously, Galahad, Gawain, Dagonet...where's Bors?"
Just then, the heavyset knight emerged from the trees to their left. He headed toward the group of knights, not even noticing the girls, and climbed back onto his horse. The others started berating him about, as far as the girls could tell, taking too long of a potty break.
"That wasn't in the movie," Torie commented.
"Maybe it was a deleted scene," Alee suggested.
"Or maybe we went back in time and these are the real people," Torie said. "That would be =so= awesome!"
"How would we go back in time by hitting a movie screen?" Alee asked skeptically.
"How would I =know=?" Torie shot back.
"I still think we're in the movie," Alee said. "I mean, we hit the movie screen and that's the last thing we remembered, so that's got to be what happened."
"Maybe..." Torie said. "You think that the audience can still see us?"
Alee shrugged, and then turned around. "Ha, ha!" she mocked, apparently to thin air. "Try throwing popcorn at us =now=, ya bums!"
"I don't think they can see us," Torie amended. "The camera would be on the knights, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. Man, this is getting confusing. You know what?" Alee said. "I'm guessing that if we want to talk to them, we'd better do it now. They're probably going to start off again now that they're all together." Torie agreed.
==
Arthur sighed. The One Last Mission was beginning to take a turn for the worst. First Bors had delayed them by taking forever to relieve himself. That was forgivable, he supposed.
But now two girls had come dashing their way, drooling and screaming incoherently about movies and autographs, whatever =those= were.
They were a strange sight to behold, that was for sure. Each was armed with nothing more than a wooden sword, and each carried a brightly colored pack. Another interesting thing about them was that each had something written on their shirts. One said "I Heart Lancelot", and the other said "I Heart Tristan".
Arthur noted with amusement that his best friend and his scout had hidden themselves behind Galahad and Gawain.
(End Chapter I)
==
You know what to do next. Starts with a "re" and ends with a "view".
Next chapter coming soon.
Anywho, this fic has absolutely nothing to do with Attack of the Teenagers and/or the rest of that series. Just the same characters, pretty much.
Disclaimer: Neither Tian nor I own anything having to do with King Arthur. Except the soundtrack. But other than that, nothing.
Warning: If you've never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you will understand very few, if any, of the jokes in this fic. (The title was a line from said movie, and it doesn't really have anything to do with the actual story.)
All right. Moving on...
==
Are You Suggesting Coconuts Migrate?
By: Kaisa Enara and Tian Sirki of Tribloomer
Chapter I: "We Are So Totally Dead..."
"Let me guess...the usual, right?" asked the box-office worker (whose nametag read "Jeanny"). The two teenage girls in front of the counter nodded. She handed them two tickets for the 11:25 show. "Here you go. That'll be $8.40."
The blonde girl produced a ten-dollar bill, while the girl with the braids frowned. "$8.40?" she asked. "That's way less than we usually pay."
Jeanny shrugged. "Twenty-percent discount since you've been here so much. Think of it as...frequent-flyer miles, but at a movie theater." The girl with the braids nodded, understanding. Jeanny took the blonde's money, and said, "Enjoy the show."
The girls smiled and chorused, "Don't worry. We will." They started off toward the escalator.
==
Torie and Alee were going to see King Arthur for the seventeenth time. They both wore backpacks loaded down with candy and a few other choice items. Torie, the blonde, wore a t-shirt that proclaimed "I ♥ Tristan", while Alee (the one with the braids) sported a similar one that said "I ♥ Lancelot". Wooden swords from the Renaissance Festival were belted to their sides.
They were at the cinema at Park Place Mall, which Torie lived near. Alee practically lived near it as well, seeing as how she was spending more and more of her time at Torie's house. Seeing this particular movie was depleting their funds, but it was (in their minds at least) a small price to pay for to get to see Mads Mikkelsen and Ioan Gruffudd so much.
So, after stopping by the arcade for a quick round of DDR, they entered the theater and sat in their favorite seats (the ones with the rail in front of them). They talked through the previews they'd seen over and over again, and then, the movie started. Torie and Alee put their feet up on the rail, smiling, and began popping Nerds and Zours.
The two girls squealed delightedly whenever their favorite characters appeared on screen, and whenever the movie showed horseback scenes, they would clap the coconut halves they'd brought with them (a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Fifteen minutes into the movie, the rest of the audience was peeved at the regulars, to say the least. They awaited with dread the fabled screeches that would pour forth from the two girls when Lancelot and Tristan died.
And then, much to the annoyance and/or dismay, the movie got to the part that showed all the knights dining at the Round Table. Alee and Torie opened their backpacks and produced several Lego knights, waved them around, and sung at the top of their lungs, "We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able..."
They didn't get much further than that when the audience finally lost their cools and started flinging everything from their popcorn to their cell phones at the two. =Anything= to shut them up.
Alee and Torie knew it was time to bail. They packed up the Legos and the candy, and ran like heck toward the doors. But the movie theater employee wouldn't let them through, obviously as eager to see the girls' reign of terror ended as the audience.
So they turned and headed in the other direction, toward the emergency exit at the side of the screen. But when they had gotten to the first row of seats, a wall of people stood before them, blocking their escape.
Now, any normal person would have realized they were trapped and admitted defeat then and there. But Alee and Torie were far from normal.
They climbed up onto the seats, and then attempted to jump =over= their captors. Well, it worked. A bit too well, really. The girls had gone sailing over the heads of the audience and right toward the movie screen. Both of them had roughly the same thought going through their heads. =Oh, crap, we're gonna die...but hey, if I'm lucky, I'll die on an image of Mads'/Iowan's face...=
The moviegoers turned to watch. But the girls, instead of going =splat= as everyone had expected, went right =through= the screen, not leaving a single mark. They stared for a moment. Then, almost in unison, the audience picked up their fallen projectiles, sat back down, and resumed watching the movie, this time in peace.
==
Torie was the first of the two to wake up, although she couldn't remember having fallen asleep. The first thing she noticed was that she was outside. The second thing she noticed was that it was cold. Way too cold to be Arizona in the summer.
As she looked around in an attempt to figure out where she was, her eyes fell on the sleeping form of her best friend. She shook her and said, "Alee...Alee, wake up!"
Alee rolled over onto her other side and muttered, "Uh-uh...five more minutes..."
Torie sighed, brandished her sword, and whacked Alee with it.
=That= woke her up. "What was that for?!" she yelled. "I mean really! Um, where are we?"
Torie shrugged. "I dunno. The last thing I remember was flying toward the movie screen. Maybe we're dead?"
"I never thought of that," Alee said. "But in any case, I'm going to go look around, okay?" She walked off, and turned a corner around a stand of trees. Torie waited.
Not two minutes later, Alee returned at a run. Her eyes had widened to about the size of quarters.
"What? What'd you see?" Torie asked eagerly.
Alee took a moment to catch her breath. "We are so totally dead," she said excitedly. "Because we've got to be in heaven."
"What on Earth is that supposed to mean?" the other girl asked.
Alee motioned for her to follow. They walked for about a minute, until they came upon a group of horsemen. A group of very =familiar= horsemen, especially since Alee and Torie had been watching their movie for the seventeenth time earlier.
Torie's eyes immediately flew to the man with the hawk on his forearm, while Alee looked to the dark-haired man on the black horse. Then they looked back to each other.
"Oh...my...God!" they said in unison. And then, they began doing the Happy Hamster Dance.
"I can't believe it! We're either dead, which I'm beginning to doubt," Alee said. "Or we fell into the movie when we hit the screen. That is so =cool=!"
"I don't know," Torie said, glancing back at Arthur and the knights. "I mean, if we were in the movie, wouldn't they be headed toward that village? They're just standing there."
The knights, who were close enough to be in sight, but far enough to be out of earshot, were indeed just sitting there on their horses, looking rather restless. One of the horses, however, was riderless.
Torie and Alee counted them. "Okay, so...Arthur's there, Lancelot and Tristan, obviously, Galahad, Gawain, Dagonet...where's Bors?"
Just then, the heavyset knight emerged from the trees to their left. He headed toward the group of knights, not even noticing the girls, and climbed back onto his horse. The others started berating him about, as far as the girls could tell, taking too long of a potty break.
"That wasn't in the movie," Torie commented.
"Maybe it was a deleted scene," Alee suggested.
"Or maybe we went back in time and these are the real people," Torie said. "That would be =so= awesome!"
"How would we go back in time by hitting a movie screen?" Alee asked skeptically.
"How would I =know=?" Torie shot back.
"I still think we're in the movie," Alee said. "I mean, we hit the movie screen and that's the last thing we remembered, so that's got to be what happened."
"Maybe..." Torie said. "You think that the audience can still see us?"
Alee shrugged, and then turned around. "Ha, ha!" she mocked, apparently to thin air. "Try throwing popcorn at us =now=, ya bums!"
"I don't think they can see us," Torie amended. "The camera would be on the knights, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. Man, this is getting confusing. You know what?" Alee said. "I'm guessing that if we want to talk to them, we'd better do it now. They're probably going to start off again now that they're all together." Torie agreed.
==
Arthur sighed. The One Last Mission was beginning to take a turn for the worst. First Bors had delayed them by taking forever to relieve himself. That was forgivable, he supposed.
But now two girls had come dashing their way, drooling and screaming incoherently about movies and autographs, whatever =those= were.
They were a strange sight to behold, that was for sure. Each was armed with nothing more than a wooden sword, and each carried a brightly colored pack. Another interesting thing about them was that each had something written on their shirts. One said "I Heart Lancelot", and the other said "I Heart Tristan".
Arthur noted with amusement that his best friend and his scout had hidden themselves behind Galahad and Gawain.
(End Chapter I)
==
You know what to do next. Starts with a "re" and ends with a "view".
Next chapter coming soon.