"Eren!", is all that came out of my mouth. I can't reach them even if I ran with all my might and use my 3DMG to cut through Eren's nape and save him. The pressure coming out of their titan bodies with Annie is just too much.
And then he came.
Levi.
He flew and stooped down to cut Eren's flesh, revealing his real body. And I thought he's had an injured leg? He should be staying inside that carriage instead if Jean is here.
It's your fault why he's got an injured leg. If only you hadn't been reckless.
I shook my head inwardly. Why am I scolding myself? It's not time for that. Besides, if he has protected Eren, it wouldn't go that far. Damn.
It's over. Eren's okay, thank goodness. There's still evidence of his transformation on his face but he's alive. I thought it will take him longer to finally snap out of himself and accept the fact that Annie is the female titan.
Eren's stable. Bandage around his head and he's finally eaten. I'm taking the tray back to the kitchen. As I'm walking towards there, my thoughts came back to me and guilt washes over my senses.
It's him. Maybe I should go and say sorry to him? He's saved Eren twice and I haven't even muttered thanks to him yet. The first time he saved Eren, I haven't really thought of saying sorry or muttering thanks because it's his fault in the first place. His duty is to keep Eren safe and he failed. But he did manage to get him back alive. Got a broken leg and I didn't even say anything.
The second time is just a few hours back; that should have been me saving Eren since I was the closest one. But no; it was still him. He's really, really skilled and fast... He got him rather than me.
I bit my lower lip. If only I was quick enough, I could have saved Eren. Now I have to pay him back somehow since I feel I owe him this time.
I'll say it when I see him. Alone.
Where is he anyway? With Hanji? Underground?
Hmm. I guess I'll wait for him.
I've been gathering my guts all afternoon until this late evening. I still can't put 'thank you' and 'sorry' into one sentence and say it to him. Sitting in this chair beside Eren's bed, I've been pondering and imagining scenes if ever I bump into him. Eren's asleep now, and I don't even know what time it is but it is quiet now. It's probably late already. What's with Levi? He seems very... unapproachable. It's because of his demeanor and eyes. Sharp eyes that hides a lot but gives nothing away. Kind is too much of a word for him but he is... nice in his own way. He's responsible and authoritative; talks less but shows his obedience. I've already admitted to myself that if ever I want to surpass him, it'll probably take me more years to train. I know I never will.
Above all, he's a great leader.
I sighed and stood up. Deciding that I needed some tea alone, I stalked back to the great dining room where soldiers gather to take their meals all together. Choosing words to say with the corporal is kind of hard, especially when you don't even know what his reaction might be. I think this is the right time he uses his poker face and monotone voice to say, "it's nothing.", or whatever.
I passed by the kitchen and made tea fast. Where could he be at this hour? I want to get it off my system already.
I closed the kitchen door and walked to the dining room to drink it there. I don't want to bother Eren because he needs some rest. I'll have to retire later. Just then, I saw someone sitting alone. It's him. Drinking tea or maybe coffee? I don't even know which he prefers since I don't really care. But this is the perfect timing I've been waiting for hours.
Taking a deep steady breath and careful not to breath it out aloud, I slowly push back the door and the creaks echoed through the room. He glanced up and I slowly left the door half-opened.
He was staring at me and I fought the urge to walk back.
"Sir, is it alright if I join you?", it came out in a low voice and I almost cursed myself for sounding nervous.
He tilts his head to one side, indicating to sit at the chair beside him. At least I'm welcomed.
I sat beside him, placing my tea casually on the table as he sips his. This is it. Tell him straight.
"What? It's late.", he asks.
"Uhm-", shit. Am I that obvious?
I hide my face in my scarf and stared at my tea. I shouldn't be taking too much of his time. Let's just get this over with.
"I just wanted to say thank you, sir. For saving Eren when I wasn't able to." As the words left my mouth, it kind of became harder to say the other parts. "And I'm sorry about your leg. It's because of my recklessness that you got injured." There. I let down my stupid pride.
He says nothing and for a moment, I thought he really wouldn't say anything. It kind of got into my nerves because I thought maybe he wasn't listening; but then, he did.
"You let your emotions cloud your objective. Don't." He looks right at me. Sharp eyes boring into mine.
"Yes, sir. If there's anything I could do to pay the debt- please let me know." Stop staring. You're making me uncomfortable.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
There's a faint blush on her cheeks as she said those words. She sounded determined enough although her fingers played against one another as she finished her sentence. You look uncomfortable, sweet.
She sipped her tea and I can't help but look at her lips and watch them touch the tea cup. They look soft; and words that blamed him when that brat Eren was stuffed into the female titan's mouth came out of those lips. Hmm. Anything?
"Watch your words."
She seems confused as her eyes went back to stare at mine. "What?"
"You shouldn't say that to a man on a late evening where there's no one around but just the two of you. I saved that brat Eren because he's fusing with our culprit; if he was fused together with her, there will be no more titan on our side. That will make everything more difficult." It's the truth. And it will mean that the sacrifices made are pointless; wasted.
She was just staring at me and I had no other option to keep it casual but just finish this tea I'm holding. I just went back from the underground with Hanji and it seems that there are no available methods yet to melt that fucking ice. And it's kind of irritating whenever I think about it but not at this moment. Not when there's this little girl that caught my attention the moment she stepped inside.
She blinks at me, looked away and bowed her head to hide her face in her scarf. "I'm sorry.", she muttered.
It's my turn to sigh. I should be retiring now since I still have a lot of work to do tomorrow. I'm fighting the urge not to grab her face, stare into those eyes, touch her lips, taste her mouth, smell her scent and play my fingers through- no. No. You're just stressed and tired. Don't use this young girl. She's naïve.
Tch. Even though she's considered an adult now, she's still young for my age. And she has a lot to learn too. She has the potential to becoming my mirror in the battlefield and I'm really looking forward to it as well. As long as she keeps her emotions away from her objective, she's mighty fine.
I should get out of here.
Hey. Don't look away.
Before I can stop myself, I reached out to cup her chin and make her look at me. Closing the space a few inches, I gazed right through her. I wanted her to rely on me as I want to rely on her. After all, that's what my squad and I have built with one another as the years went by.
I flinch inwardly as I remember how that swine killed my squad. I'm sure to give her a fucking punishment for what she did when we find a way to melt her ice.
"I'll keep Eren safe. After all, I'm the one who accepted his enlistment in the Survey Corps and the upper people agreed that I take responsibility of him. In return, you have to learn to have a single objective." I stood up as I let go of her chin, her mouth half open as she watched me. "It will be a waste if humanity loses a soldier like you who has a great potential of becoming it's next generation of strongest."
Taking careful steps, I walked away from her. As long as I am careful with walking, I can do it myself without limping much. I don't want to be seen that I needed help.
I left the door half closed like what she did. Erwin should be giving orders what to do next by tomorrow and I sleep sounds a good thing for me. Although I doubt I'd get the scene with her out of mind for some minutes. I touched her; it looked intimate but I couldn't bring myself to care. Despite being hard on the looks, she's actually soft. Her feminism still present.
I think it was a mistake to let myself touch her. I might not be able hold myself back if I do it again.