Author's Note: This is set in the same AU as my story "Ask Me" where Lorna and Nicky grew up together and nobody met in prison. It can stand alone, but it makes more sense if you read "Ask Me" first. This is a 3 chapter story. It's already written, and I will be posting the next two chapters over the course of this week.

Chapter 1: Red

Nicky looked like shit. She had her hair up in a messy bun - well, messier than usual - and hadn't changed her eye make-up since the morning before. Typically she would put herself together more for a shift at Red's restaurant, but she was having a bad day. A bad couple of days, really. She chewed the inside of her cheek and stared vehemently at the clock. The time between each slow tick felt longer with every second. Nicky swore it was mocking her, dragging out the time she would usually be on her smoke break. The sound of the door jingling, signaling a new customer, broke her away from her staring contest with the clock. Nicky took the customer's order and brought her a cup of coffee.

"Anything else?"

"Um, is this decaf?"

"Didn't you order coffee?"

"Yeah, but I don't want decaf."

Nicky huffed. "If you want regular it's gonna be a hot second. Machine's in a mood and takin' forever. Or, I can just crush up some speed and sprinkle that in your decaf. That'd do the trick, eh?"

The customer spluttered. Before she could respond, Red called her over.

"Nicky. Kitchen. Now."

Red looked pissed. Nicky hustled into the kitchen, ready for a lecture.

"Did I just hear you offer one of my customers drugs?"

"It was a joke! Obviously."

"It wasn't funny. And I've gotten six other complaints about you in the last hour alone. What's wrong with you today? You're sweaty and crabby and rude and you look like you spent last night strung out. I swear to God, Nicky, you better not be using."

Nicky had only had one relapse with her heroin addiction since high school. Thankfully Red took care of her and didn't fire her. Most bosses wouldn't put up with an addict through their recovery, but Red gave her a chance. Nicky had been like her daughter ever since. She had no intentions of breaking her promise to Red to stay clean, but she could see why Red would think she was using. She was a fucking mess, though nowhere near as much as when Red had found her in the alley years ago.

August 2000

"Oh God, Nicky!" Lorna moaned and Nicky pulled Lorna's hips down further so she could thrust deeper into her with her tongue.

"Nicole?"

Nicky thought she heard her name being called from the other room, but decided she must have been imagining things. Lorna clenched her legs tighter around Nicky's face and came with a loud groan.

"Nicole, is that you? Are you awake?"

"Shit." Nicky knew she wasn't imagining things this time. It seemed Lorna had finished just in time. "I'm not expecting Marka tonight. Shit, shit, shit." She leapt out of bed and threw her robe on quickly. "Stay here."

Nicky closed her door behind her and wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her robe before nearly bumping into Marka.

"Nicole, you are home."

"Marka. This is a surprise."

"Yes, well, some urgent business matters came up so I had to catch a red-eye. It's late, why are you still up?"

"No reason," Nicky lied.

"Regardless, you look well. You're still clean."

"Yes, mother."

Marka took a look around the kitchen and eyed Nicky's graduation photos and the invitation intended for Marka. She hadn't been home in months, and never saw it. "I see you graduated just fine."

"Yeah, with honors. I gave a speech too. You missed it."

"Yes, I am sorry about that dear." Nicky didn't believe her- she said the words without feeling. "You haven't told me when you start classes at NYU."

Nicky shifted her gaze. "About that. I'm not going."

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"I don't want to go to business school. I deferred. I'm going to take the year off, figure out if I even want to go to college. I already got a job, at a restaurant in Queens."

"Don't be ridiculous, Nicole. You have to go to college."

Nicky was saved for the moment by Lorna's arrival into the kitchen. She had gotten dressed and put herself together quite well.

"It's Lorna, right? What are you doing here so late? Aren't your parents worried about you?"

Nicky laughed at the irony of Marka assuming a parent kept track of her child's whereabouts when Marka did no such thing.

"Go back to bed, baby. I'll be right in."

"Stop right there. Back to bed?"

"Um, I've been meaning to tell you. Lorna's my girlfriend. I told her she could move in soon, actually."

Marka kept her face stony. "Not anymore. Lorna, I think you better leave."

"What the fuck? No! It's the middle of the night, you can't send her out to the street!"

"This is my house, Nicole."

"Nicky, it's fine, I'll go." Lorna grabbed her purse and headed to the door.

"Wait!" Nicky called. "Take a cab, please. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Nicky gave her cash and a peck on the cheek before rounding on Marka angrily.

"Don't even start! The last I checked, I pay the rent and all the bills for you to live here. You don't get to make the rules."

"And you don't get to throw my girlfriend on the street in the middle of the night! How could you do that to her?"

"Girlfriend. Please, Nicole, when are you going to grow up? It's time for you to move on from this teenage lesbian phase of yours and start acting like an adult."

Nicky shouldn't have been so surprised at Marka's ignorance, but she was.

"I'm serious. Tomorrow you're going to end things with that girl and re-enroll at NYU for the fall semester."

Nicky shook her head disbelievingly.

"If you want to keep living here, and if you want your trust fund, you will do as I say. Keep dating that girl and blowing off school- say goodbye to my money. You are an embarrassment."

Nicky didn't even respond. She stormed out of the apartment, with only her wallet and her robe, and took a cab to Lorna's. She threw rocks at Lorna's window hoping she wouldn't wake anyone else. Lorna met her outside and gasped.

"What are you doing here? In only your robe?"

"Uhh, Marka's kicking me out," Nicky stammered, on the verge of tears. "Do you have something I could wear? I know I can't stay here."

"Yes, let's go inside and get you some clothes. And you are absolutely staying here tonight."

They made their way quietly into Lorna's room. She tossed Nicky a t-shirt and got into bed. "Here, you can sleep in this. Now come here."

Nicky crawled into bed next to her and trembled.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

Nicky shook her head and let her tears run free, unable to get any words out. Lorna wrapped her arms around her and rocked her softly. "Shh. Let it out, Nicky. It's going to be okay." She liked to play tough, but with Lorna she could let her emotions go. For the second time in their relationship, Nicky cried herself to sleep in Lorna's arms.

They overslept. Lorna woke to the sound of Franny's horrified scream. "Daddy!"

"Shh- Franny! Shut up!"

It was too late. Lorna's father had come to investigate, and Lorna tried fruitlessly to hide the fact that she had a half-dressed girl tangled in bed with her. Nicky frantically tried to cover herself but to no avail. How did the two of them manage to accidentally inform both their parents about their relationship in less than a day?

"Get downstairs, Lorna. Right now."

Nicky changed into some of Lorna's clothes, listening to the argument happening below. She knew she shouldn't have stayed here. She left Lorna a note that she would call her later that day. She tiptoed down the stairs, snuck out the back door, and made her way to Queens for work.

On her break, the owner of the restaurant, Red, let her use the phone to call Lorna.

"Hello?"

"Baby, it's me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lorna sniffled a little. "My dad's really pissed though. I told him about us, and how your mother kicked you out. He said he doesn't want to see you around here again or he'll throw me out too."

"I'm so sorry. I should never have come over."

"Of course you should have. Where else were you supposed to go? What are you going to do about tonight?"

"I don't know yet. I, uh, I gotta get back to work, Lorna. I'm gonna figure something out though - don't worry about me, okay? I love you."

"I love you too."

When Nicky finished her shift, it was late. She still had no idea where she was going to sleep that night. She ended up at a shady bar, smoking and drinking whiskey sours alone in a booth at the back and trying not to cry. Someone sat down across from her. Nicky glanced up and groaned. It was her ex-dealer.

"I thought I told you I was done with that shit and to stay away from me."

"I remember. I didn't go looking for you, did I? I just saw you in here. You look like you could use a pick-me-up."

Nicky looked away and bit her lip. Her dealer reached across the table, opened her free hand, and slipped a baggie inside her palm. Nicky refused to look at her.

"This one's on me, okay? Come find me when you're ready to be a regular customer again."

Nicky squeezed the baggie tight inside her palm, and her eyes burned with tears that she refused to let fall. She downed the rest of her drink, put out her cigarette, left enough cash on the table to settle her bill, and left the bar. She couldn't go home, she couldn't see her girlfriend, and her own mother despised her. She was at her lowest low, and only her best girlfriend heroin could make her feel better right now. She couldn't say why she chose the alley she did, or whether she took too much intentionally or not, but she overdosed in the middle of the night right outside Red's restaurant.

Red found her when she was taking out the trash early the next morning. She had her husband and sons bring her upstairs, and rummaged in her medicine cabinet for naloxone. This wasn't the first junkie she had found in the alley. Nicky came to and Red deemed her well enough to avoid a trip to the ER. She took care of her through recovery of the overdose and for the next week during her detox.

When Nicky had recovered enough, Red called her mother and cursed her out for treating her own daughter so poorly. She made some threats, and Nicky was allowed at home again. Red saved her that night. Nicky vowed she would never betray her.

Present Day

"No! I swear, I'm clean."

Red clicked her tongue. "Go take your smoke break. You're overdue for one, yes?"

"Actually, that's exactly why I'm so crabby, which I am sorry about. I'm quitting, ma. You proud of me? I haven't had a cigarette in-" Nicky checked the clock, "46 hours and 12 minutes."

Red smacked the backside of her head.

"Ow! What the fuck, ma? I already got a headache."

"You shouldn't quit smoking cold turkey. What do you smoke right now, a pack a day? You need to wean yourself off them slowly. Smoke one less every day. Wear patches, chew the gum. Go to therapy."

"But ma, I'm trying to quit before Lorna gets back. She's on vacation with her sister for the long weekend and when she gets back I wanna surprise her."

Nicky knew how much Lorna hated her smoking habit. She spent more time chain-smoking than could be considered healthy, not that any smoking could be considered healthy really. She honestly didn't care very much about the effects on her own body, but it bothered her deeply to know that Lorna was exposed to the health problems that accompany so much second-hand smoke exposure.

"The withdrawal makes you irritable. It would be better if you took your time."

"I made it this long, haven't I? The withdrawal should start subsiding after another day or so."

"Okay. Well you've got just under two hours left of your shift but you're not working the front until you get it together. You're on dish duty, go."

Washing the dishes was actually a cathartic task for Nicky. The scalding water distracted her nerves from the itch for nicotine, and she got an odd satisfaction from making the dishes look spotless. When Nicky got off work she might have had slight first-degree burns on her hands, but she actually felt calmer.

When Nicky got back to her apartment and settled in her bedroom, her anxiety started to rise again. She couldn't sit on the daybed under her window, that was where she liked to chain-smoke in her free time. She contemplated taking a bath to relax her a little, but she usually smoked when she did that too. It was too early for bed, but Nicky crawled under her covers anyway. If the nausea from the withdrawal weren't so strong, it would actually be dinnertime. Nicky shook her foot anxiously and tried to get comfortable. It was useless. Insomnia aside, even her pillowcases smelled like smoke.

Nicky threw off her sheets and went into the kitchen to make herself a drink. No sooner had she poured herself a glass of whiskey before she tossed it down the drain. What was she thinking? She always smoked when she drank, and she didn't need her inhibitions lowered or any excuses for making it this far and then caving. Nicky picked up the phone. She dialed quickly and tapped her foot impatiently as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Chapman, hey. Can you put Vause on?"

"Sure, just a second. ALEX! It's Nichols!"

Nicky cringed; Piper had yelled right into the receiver.

"What's up?"

"Vause. Please tell me you're not doing anything for the next 24 hours."

"Actually, I'm completely free. What's going on?"

Nicky let out a shaky breath. "It's rough times over here. I'm in a bad way. I could really use some company." This was hard for Nicky to admit, but she knew Alex wouldn't judge her or give her a hard time. She was a good friend.

"Shit. I'm coming over. Sit tight, okay?"

Nicky hung up the phone and tried to do as she was told. It was going to be a long night.