Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing…

[There was a Top-Secret Mission during the 3-Month Tour of Solemn Duty that was deemed the most strangest of all missions… It was called Operation Mermaid Paradox]

Space can seem so cold and so lonely, right? Well, that's what I thought when I was traveling through the Delta Quadrant aboard the Voyager all that time (even during the 3-Month Tour of Solemn Duty in 2007). I figured that the Caretaker as a freaking' Coyote was wrong about "Finding your Soulmate" shit, by God was I wrong… It all started when Voyager was traveling to B'omar space to dump some sludge during the 3-Month Tour of Solemn Duty in 2007, when I had experienced a time-travel mission like no other called… Operation Mermaid Paradox…

Anyway, like I was saying, there was this mysterious nightmare rattling through my head:

Capt. Wex: "[dreaming] No… no, no… GET OUTTA THERE!…"

This dream involves a pretty girl singing… singing like this:

Mysterious Girl: "[singing] Ohhaaaahhhohhaahaaaah"

Then some evil voice pressures her:

Evil Voice: "KEEP SINGING!"

Then some ghostly hands appear and swirl around her.

Capt. Wex: "[faintly] NO…STOP…STOP…"

But one of the hands goes inside her mouth and "pulls" her voice out while the other hand holds her waist. Then the next thing I remember, her glowing voice was being stored into a storage device of some kind. When it was being stored, it was exploding like that battleship on R-Type Final… Then I wake up screaming:

Capt. Wex: "[screaming] HAAAH!"

I was brushing my face off for some damn reason I couldn't remember. Then I sighed and began to wonder:

Capt. Wex: "Computer, what in the Hell's the time?"

Computer: "Exactly 0222 Hours, Captain."

Capt. Wex: "Great! Well, I guess I'd better shake the dew of the lily… after I talk to Moe that is."

So then I get up and start heading to the Voyager Lounge. Meanwhile, Morris "Moe" Syzslak is trying to hang himself… again!:

Morris Syzslak: "Geez, if I figured it would take this long, I would have put on a T.V."

Then some pizza guy comes in:

Pizza Guy: "Pizza Delivery for Morris Syzslak!"

Moe: "Your money's on the counter. No Tip."

Pizza Guy: "Ah, you miserable bastard… All I wanted was a damn good Tip and I get jack squat!"

Moe: "That's why I'm up here."

Then I talk to him:

Capt. Wex: "Moe?"

Moe: "Oh, Wex… It's not what you think it is!"

Capt. Wex: "I'm not concerned about that, Moe."

Then Moe cuts the rope and comes down:

Moe: "OK, then what the Hell's up?"

It kinda shocked him:

Capt. Wex: "It's about that damn dream I keep having."

Moe: "Are you sure?"

Capt. Wex: "Yes, I'm sure!"

Opening Sequence

As an upbeat rock version of the Star Trek: Voyager theme begins to play, we see Voyager emerge from the Nekrit Expanse unscathed and gets ready to initiate her warp drive. Within 3 or 4 seconds or so, she goes to warp:

Delta Quadrant Fever

Then we see Voyager fly through dense nebula fog:

Based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry

Joe Bost as Captain Wexamillion Major

Edward Furlong as Stan Marsh

Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson

Then Voyager flies over some icy asteroid of some kind:

Garth Marenghi as Jonas Zebeth

Then Voyager flies through a starship graveyard and goes to warp again:

Hugh Laurie as LMH Dr. Gregory House

Kevin McKidd as Dan Vasser

Then Voyager flies over a planet's ring:

Jeri Ryan as Annika Hansen

Then finally, Voyager begins to initiate the Quantum Slipstream at a nearby planet and warps out.

Created by Joe Bost

End Opening Sequence