Title: Getting Too Close
Pairing: Elliot/Olivia eventually
Rating: M just for safety
Summary: Post – "Undercover" Things will happen that would never happen on the show. If Dick Wolf only knew…
Disclaimer: I am poor, untalented and never been to a TV set in my life. So, in other words, these people aren't mine. I'll return them when I'm done.
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"I don't know where to begin," Olivia muttered, wearily. She looked down at the fingers on her left hand, twisting the unfamiliar bracelet on her right wrist. Over and over. It was strangely comforting.
"Why don't you start with the night you came here," he suggested. Olivia made a face.
"I don't remember much about that night," she admitted. "I was really tired and it felt like I was looking at everyone through a fog. I think I went home and my partner called and somehow he ended up at my apartment and drove me here." She refused to meet his eyes and continued to play with her bracelet. He sat in silence, waiting. Finally she gave in.
"I guess I was upset. Sometimes my job gets to me and if I haven't taken a vacation in a while, I overreact to things."
"Do you call what you did an overreaction?" he asked, mildly.
To her dismay, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. You can't cry in front of him, Liv, she told herself sternly. You need to get out.
"Yes," she said firmly, making eye contact for the first time.
"What do you think your partner would say if I asked him?"
She sighed in frustration. "Elliot always thinks the worst, probably because he has 5 children. I don't think he'd be the best judge of what was going through my head yesterday."
"Does he care about you?"
"Of course," she sputtered. "We care about each other. We've been partners for nearly 10 years for God's sake."
"Does he care so much that he overreacts?"
"No, of course not," Olivia sputtered, and then wondered if she had just given herself away. This man had a way of twisting her words and the fuzziness in her head wasn't allowing her to think clearly.
"So when Elliot brought you to the hospital, he was acting rationally and in your best interests?"
"I guess he thought what he was doing what was right but I was overreacting and would have been fine."
"Really." He pulled a sheet out of the thin file folder and read out loud. "You were admitted with an alcohol level over the legal limit, over 40 mgs of Valium, 700 mgs of Acetaminophen and three severe cuts to your leg requiring about 25 stitches each. If you think that is overreacting, I would hate to see you in a true state of emergency."
Olivia knew she was beaten but refused to give up. "Ok, it was a bad night. I'm a cop and I work in Sex Crimes. You don't even know the kind of cases that I see on a daily basis. Every so often we have to let off steam. That day we'd had a particularly horrible case and I guess it just got to me. But I've been doing this for a long time and I know how to shake it off and move on."
He leaned forward. "Can you look me in the eye and with all honesty tell me that if I released you today, this would never happen again?"
Olivia didn't say anything. She kept her eyes on her bracelet.
"Olivia, your record is outstanding. Your captain and your partner can't say enough good things about the way you handle cases, victims and offenders. But something happened three nights ago and your partner was concerned enough to return to your apartment after he dropped you off and found you very close to death. Do you want to die?"
Did she? There was so much ugliness in the world but she usually had enough good things to balance it out. But with her relationship with Elliot rocky because of the birth of Eli and the emergence of a sibling that she didn't know she had… she felt like she had no where to turn and no way to shut her brain off. Issues she thought were dead and buried were haunting her dreams. She couldn't live this way. Her job was no longer enough because she didn't feel like she was making a difference anymore. For every perp she caught, there seemed to be 10 more to take his place. And her personal life was non-existent. If Elliot hadn't…
She finally looked up at Dr. Soukup and said, "Yes."