Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing at all, not a hint of talent either…not even my room, my grandma paid for our apartment and I'll NEVER hear the end of it…until I move out, so HELP!
Summary: A conversation between the girls amuses Buster and urges him to make a joke. Oneshot.
If you were gay"So, what do you girls think?"
Plucky had just walked in with his food tray, looking annoyed and mumbling under his breath.
"Like, no way! He is like constantly hitting on every pretty girl and have you ever seen the size of his ego? Only a true man can look up to himself that much." Shirley dismissed the thought, diggint through her pudding with a small plastic spoon.
"Yeah, but have you seen how much time he spends in front of the mirror?" Babs questioned, taking a glance at the loveable green duck "Took a look in his room lately?"
"No..." her two best friends shared a look, as Babs took a few dollar out of her pocket
"Well, you should, he has some valuable things in there!"
"Babs...you don't think Plucky is, how you say..."Fifi trailed on, unsure
"Gay?" a forth voice startled the girls and they quickly looked around, only to find a very intriqued Buster looking at them "Are you girls kidding?" he laughed softly, then shook his head "I don't know anyone who tries to be as muscular as Plucky..."
"Tries!" Babs pointed out, satisfied that her joke was catching on "What does that tell ya?"
"Now that you think about it, that's like major homosexual defense...trying to prove to others and to himself that he's no less of a man..."Shirley thought outloud "It's way unfair, people should be free to be who they are or some junk."
"Well, there's only one way to find out." Buster smirked slightly "Be right back."
"Buster, where are you going? I was just kidding!" Babs half-shrieked after him, but the blue rabbit just smiled to himself, feeling the sensation was too much for him to handle
He walked over to the table where Plucky and Hamton were sitting, eating their lunches and discussing the last pop quiz.
"This whole academy makes me sick!" Plucky raged on, stabbing a piece of potatoe with his fork angrily "They'll never recognise a true talent like moi, even if it danced around naked in front of them! It's always Buster and Babs, Buster and Babs, Buster and Babs...why if I never see those two again it'd be too s-hey Buster, ol' pal, ol'l buddy!"
"Hey Pluckster, hey Ham." Buster took a seat next to them "I see you failed another quiz there, champ?"
"Technical error." His green friend replied proudly
"Mhm...hey, Plucky, you'll never guess what happened at the gameshop to me today." Buster sneaked a carrot from Plucky's plate and chowed down on it, trying to seem sophisticated
"Oh please, enlighten me...it's not like I have something to do with my life other than to hear boring wise cracks." Plucky huffed, resting his head on his left arm
"Plucky, that wasn't very nice!" Hamton scolded at his best friend, then turned to Buster "What did happen?"
"Well, there was this guy...he was smilling at me and talking to me..."Buster trailed on
"Oh, that's veeeery interesting..."Plucky mumbled
"Mhm, he was being reaaaal friendly..."Buster winked at Hamton and went on "And, heh... I think he was coming on to me...which is natural, thanks to my charm..."Buster adjusted his shirt collar, then went on "I think, he might've thought that I was gay." With that, Buster nudged his green-featered friend in the chest
"So why-why're you telling me this?" Plucky asked, making a face "Why should I care? I don't care. Is that carrots you're having for lunch?"
"Oh Plucky, you don't have to get all defensive about i-"
"I'm not getting defensive!!!"Plucky yelled, feeling offended. He then took a deep breath and grumbled angrily "Why do I care about some gay guy you met, ok? I'm trying to eat my lunch..."
"Well I didn't mean anything by it." Buster assured him, avoiding Hamton's confused look "I just think it's something we should be able to talk about..."
"That's stupid. I don't wanna talk about some freakshow you met, this conversation's over." Plucky scoffed, fixing his attention on his lunch
"But Pluc-"
"Over!"
Buster pretended to give out a heavy sigh, then placed a hand on Plucky's shoulder:
"Okay...but just so you know...hit it fellas!!!" a happy, cheezy melody started playing. Most students didn't notice, they were used to weird things happening-it was, after all, Acme Lo. Babs, Fifi and Shirley however were watching from their table with mixed emotions.
Buster jumped off his seat and danced to the tune, singing:
"If you were gay, that'd be okay
I mean, cause, hey...I'd like you anyway!"
"What???" Plucky's jaw hit the table, while Hamton supressed a chuckle
"Because, you see" Buster went on, jumping on the table and throwing his arms in the air
"If it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay!
But I'm not gay!" he added, as several classmates stared at him
Buster jumped off the table and pulled Plucky besides him in a friendly hug.
"Buster, what's gotten into you??" Plucky yelled, repulsed and embarassed."WHAT???"the duck yelled as toons around him snickered. Buster looked around, almost every kid in the cafaterea was watching and for a minute he thought about calling it quits...but then he took a glance at Babs, who was laughing her face off and a little voice inside him squeaked The show must go on! So he just smiled and circled Plucky with his witty dance moves:
"If you were queer!"
"Buster, I see what you're doing..."
"I'd still be here!"
"Buster!!"
"Year after year, because you're dear to me!"Buster pointed at his friend theatrically and spun around
"Argh!!" Plucky headed for the cafateria exit, but Buster blocked his way
"And I know that you-"
"What??" Plucky sighed, trying to avoid the chuckles he was recieving from his classmates
"Would accept me too-"
"I would?" the duck stared at him with disbelief, surely he knew who he was tal-er singing about, right?
"If I told you today" Buster grabbed his friend by the hand and dragged him back to their table "Hey, guess what, I'm gay!" the blue rabbit added, imitating Plucky's voice so well that the room soon filled with laughter
"But I'm not gay!" Buster hurried to add with a meaningful nudge of his eyebrow. He jumped on the table again and grabbed a ketchup bottle as a microphone, then continued his little number:
"I'm happy just being with you!"
"Someone just shoot me. Shoot me now." Plucky said miserably
"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"
"Buster that's wrong!!!" Plucky shrieked with disgust
"No it's not!!" Buster argued and clicked a finger, the room became dark and a spotlight hit him
"If you were gayyyy..." the TTA host walked on the table gracefully, waving his free arm around, while everyone else just clapped
"Aghhh..." Plucky hissed with annoyance
"I'd shout, hooray!" Buster jumped in the air
"I'm not listeniiiing..." Plucky covered his ears with his hands, but them remembered he didn't have ears...poor guy.
"And here I'd stayy!"
"Lalalala!" the small green duck tried to out-sing his blue friend, but failed
"But I wouldn't get in your way!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Plucky screamed and ran around in a fit of madness, while Montana Max tripped him. The poor duck fell right in Shirley's pudding and tried his best to give his crush a smile through the mess of pink goo.
"You can count on me, to always be, beside you everyday!" Buster went on, as Hamton and Babs pulled Plucky from the otherwise tasty desert
"To tell you, it's ok! You were just born that way!" Buster placed a hand on his heart and dropped on one knee for his grant finale " And as they say, it's in your DNA! You're gayyyyyyy!"
"I'm not gay!!!" Plucky exploded on the spot, turning into a pile of black and yellow ashes
The lights went back on and Buster munched down on his carrot:
"If you were gay." The rabbit just shrugged and went over to sit with Babs, who was laughing hysterically
Daffy Duck walked over to the ashes that were once his favorite student and asked meaningfully "There something you wanna tell me, kid?"
The end
A/N: Please tell me what you think! I hope you enjoyed it! The song Buster sang was Avenue Q-If you were gay. Please tell me how I did, I haven't written fics in a while, so criticism is fine, just be nice about it -'''. Later and stay toony!