Meant to Be

an apologetic La Corda d'Oro fanfic

by Ongaku no Usagi

Disclaimer: I do not own "La Corda d'Oro". It belongs to Kure Yuki.

And by the way... This is the alternate ending to "The Secret of the Guarneri", starting at the end of chapter 15. Written especially for mocha. coca. latte, and any other Ryou fans who were disappointed by the Len-Kahoko conclusive-pairing of the above fic. Hope you enjoy ^^

Chapter 15 (reprise):

"Kahoko!"

"Kaho!"

Voices, seeming to surround me, near yet far, piercing the frozen air of the dormant village.

I stood up, straining to hear.

"Kahoko!"

"Kaho!"

I stepped out of my protective barrier cautiously and called out, sotto voce, "I'm here!"

I turned my head from side to side as I descended into the street, still listening for their voices.

"I'm here!" I called out again, and then, as if in the same heartbeat, they appeared around the corners, meeting the same road from opposite sides.

The sun started to rise, casting rays of gamboge orange, like a Buddhist monk's robes, across the shining tiles of the houses, lighting up the puddles running through the streets in long, narrow strips. Glinting off the hair of two talented, attractive, and very wonderful young men, standing and staring at me, with long shadows gathered into the dark skirts of the houses and shops.

That was the very moment the eternal Scottish fog in my psyche lifted.

Here's the choice...the worst choice I'll ever have to make. I can't just stay here and wait for them to come to me, in the end.

I have run after one of them, and I have to choose now.

The cruelest of moments. Because...

I knew my choice a long time ago. I just didn't want to make it. Didn't want to hurt him.

I closed my eyes and started to run.

Ryou...

I made you wait for me those years in high school while Len was in Vienna, promising friendship but nothing more.

I made you wait for my heart to heal, during those horrible months when I thought Len was dead, promising that eventually I'd be able to give my heart entirely to you.

I made you wait in the dark, buried in concrete, while I escaped alone, promising to come back for you.

I will never make you wait for me again.

I swear.

It's like we were made for each other; we were meant to be; we work so well together, Paganini and Liszt.

So why fight it any longer?

I found myself plunging headlong into a broad, rock-hard chest, muscular arms that closed around me immediately to keep me from doing the familiar slide down.

"I knew you would come for me," I whispered into his neck. "Ryou..."

"That's my line," he chuckled softly, working one of his huge hands into my hair and attempting to pull my head even closer. He sighed a little and kissed one of my ears. "Oh, Kahoko, Kahoko, where have you been all my life?"

"Right here, where I'm supposed to be," I smiled impishly. "Here to stay."

"To stay."

...

"...Ryou? I'm too scared to look...is Len still there?"

"Mm. He's turning to walk back, I think. But don't worry about him. He's got his violin, you know?"

Yeah.

His one true love.

.

"Hey. How's the studying going?"

I dropped a little kiss on Ryou's cheek as I passed him at his desk, taking off my coat and laying it on his kitchen table.

He looked up very quickly, grinning wryly. "God, I can't wait until this semester is over."

"Oh. Are 15th century madrigals really that bad?"

"Terrible. I can't stand medieval music. It's a pain in the ars nova. Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be a professor." He sighed long and loud and looked longingly over at the baby grand piano in the corner, where the score to Liszt's first piano concerto lurked tantalizingly.

I laughed a little and opened his fridge to hunt up the leftovers from the fantastic vegetable stew he'd made last night. "Of course you are. Think of how bereft the world of university students would be if you devoted all your time to practicing and performing. Oh. Speaking of which, I heard from Usa today."

"Mm? How's she doing?"

"Practicing. Accompanying. Playing in ensembles, for opera and ballet rehearsals, etc. etc. More practicing."

He glanced up sharply. "Is she happy?"

I smiled at him reassuringly. "Would she want anything else?"

"True. Anyway, how are your classes going? It seems like I hardly ever see you anymore."

I hesitated. Truthfully, on top of the beginning strings classes I was teaching at a local elementary school, I was secretly continuing to take lessons from Kumoyama sensei. I know I should be happy with where I'm at right now, I should be content, but...

There's a part of me that will never be satisfied unless I can be on stage. So I want to continue to strive to improve.

"Fine," I answered at last. "The kids are great, so eager to learn, even if they do have short attention spans..."

He laughed as he got up from his chair, stretching his arms over his head and loosening the tense muscles in his neck. "Warm up some of that for me, too, will you?"

"Sure." I carefully poured the soup into two bowls and set them in the microwave.

Beep beep beep went the little timer buttons as I set it. Then it settled into a steady hum.

"Hmm, two minutes? Will it really take that long?" Ryou asked.

I curled my arms around his neck and smiled enticingly. "Maybe not, but this will."

Then I pulled him down into a kiss.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP.

BEEEEEP.

Ryou reached up to open the door of the microwave when it got annoying enough that we couldn't ignore it any more, but his lips remained on mine.

Forget it. I don't want the soup anymore.

"Hey."

I let out a little sigh of regret as Ryou pulled away gently, cupping my face in his hands. "Yes?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Yes?"

"Something important."

"Yes?"

"Something you'll like."

"WHAT."

He snickered a little before answering. "I got the grad assistant job."

My eyes lit up at the implications. "Really?"

"Yup. Wanna go ring shopping tomorrow?" He tilted his head, eyes shining down at me.

My grin almost split my face. "YES!"

Finally! After four long years! We had decided even back in college to wait until we could manage financially to get married, but the intention had always been there. A proposal wasn't even necessary, really.

A ring is like a seal on the deal. In diamonds.

"But even so," he sighed, "it'll be tough for a while, you know, me still studying for the doctorate. You okay with that?"

I nodded and looked deep into his eyes, planning my next attack on his lips in a calculated five seconds.

"Wherever you are, that's where I want to be, too."

.

Hands in hands.

Grinning like fools at each other, each secretly thinking that the minister was acting ridiculously pompous, and knowing the other was thinking it, too.

The scent of pink roses everywhere.

A glinting pink diamond peering up from my left hand.

And his smile is so tender...so sweet...

Oh, hurry up and say "You may now kiss the bride" already!

"If there is any here who knows of any reason why these two should not be joined, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace," the minister droned habitually.

"I know of a reason."

Shocked gasps from our friends and family in the pews.

Horror on Ryou's face, and on mine, as well, as we both think, "I know that voice".

Terrified, we turned to face the solitary figure in the aisle, arms crossed, serious eyes bearing down at us under blue hair.

"Len..."

His eyes flickered to meet mine for a brief instant before he addressed the minister.

"This woman belongs to me; physically, we have already been one, and will always be. I'm only asking for what is rightfully mine."

"Sir..." the minister began weakly and ineffectively.

Len began to stride purposefully up the aisle, his gaze now locked on me.

"Kahoko. You know, in your heart of hearts, that we were meant to be."

I can't stop shaking, even though Ryou's arms have crept around me protectively, drawing me into him.

Len kept coming, steadily, shoes marking a crisp 2/4 rhythm on the white aisle runner. "You know that," he said again, softer, eyes now pleading. "You and your music were supposed to be with me and mine, forever. I won't let you go."

"Back off, Tsukimori," Ryou growled deeply. "She made her choice ages ago."

"I'm aware of that," Len shot back sharply. "But has it ever occurred to you, Tsuchiura, that she regrets that choice?"

"No," I whispered in pain. "Len, don't do this to me...don't make me relive that choice..."

His steps had taken him up to the altar by now, and he extended a hand, commanding me to step down to him.

"You can still turn back now, Kahoko. It's not too late!"

"I said, BACK OFF!" Ryou pushed me behind him and faced Len angrily.

"Why don't you let her decide, Tsuchiura?" Len asked mockingly. "Or are you afraid?"

I am afraid.

Afraid my feet will betray me, and start walking toward him...

And the betrayal in Ryou's eyes will kill me...

But the possessiveness of Len's eyes already are killing me...

No! I'm not stepping forward! Am not seeing Ryou's face turning toward me in pain...am not hearing the minister ask me what I'm doing...

Am not feeling Len's hand clasp mine victoriously...

.

I'm not.

It's a dream.

Really, truly, just a bad dream.

Street lights are shining down through the sheer curtains onto the white sheets, the sad summer-song of cicadas deafening the muggy night air.

And the silhouette of Ryou's broad shoulders rise above the sheets.

I sank back down onto the pillows with a sigh of relief.

Len hadn't even come to the wedding, in the end. Even though I sent five invitations to him, each ignored completely.

I remember being both relieved and disappointed. I haven't seen him again since that day; he left immediately for Vienna, while Ryou and I headed back to Japan.

Snippets in the news, here and there. Always the sensational triumph, "Tsukimori Len astonishes again!"

He could have any girl he wanted, but in the end he chose the violin.

Still, I wished I could have seen him there.

A long, oblong package, postmarked from Vienna, had been among the wedding gifts, however, with the inscription, "For the bride." Inside was a beautiful, hand-crafted Italian violin, with the kanji for my name inlaid in mother-of-pearl on the neck.

On a hunch, I had taken out the label to inspect it, and on the reverse: "If you fail to try to catch up to me, I will never forgive you."

It's alright, Len. I won't disappoint you.

It's a goal I will never give up on. Your music continues to inspire me.

Even so...

I looked over at the strong lines of Ryou's sleeping face on the pillow, tenderly.

"More...more rubato, please," his voice muffled hazily. "And...four oyaki."

I giggled aloud and murmured lowly, "Would you like that to go, sir?"

"Yes...with...a platypus."

I burst out laughing. His eyes popped open and stared at me in confusion. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing." I tried to quell my giggles and leaned over to kiss him. "Go back to sleep."

"Ahhh..." His eyelids dropped back down.

I never get tired of "The two-thirty in the morning show with Tsuchiura Ryoutaro". I keep begging him to let me record it, but he stubbornly won't let me.

A lock of his hair was sticking straight up, so I reached out to smooth it down, letting my fingers stroke the rough sides of his face, looking forward to the morning routine of him shaving and me putting on makeup, jostling for mirror-space in front of the bathroom sink.

Just a bad dream, Kahoko.

I'll never regret this choice.

Fine.

Author's Notes:

Yay! I hope that's somewhat more satisfying. Sorry it's so short. I kind of just typed it up on a whim.