KEEPING YOU A SECRET
Author's note: I do not own any of the Invader Zim characters.
Dib walked slowly down the street, his hands stuffed deep within his pockets and his head bowed deep in thought. Zim hadn't been torturing him lately and had been missing more Skool than usual, until he finally stopped coming all together. He was wondering if Zim was concocting another plan to rule the planet, or hand he finally given up on destroying the Earth? The answer was still unknown, making Dib even more curious about the little green aliens whereabouts.
'I wonder what Zim's up too…. He's been very discreet lately, I haven't been beaten senseless in over two weeks. He must be working on something pretty important to ignore me for that long.'
The truth was, Dib had started to like the little green aliens beatings, and even enjoyed hunting him down and destroying everything that Zim had worked so hard to create. For Dib, Zim had gone from fascination to obsession.
Dib stopped only for a moment and stared silently at the odd little house. Little gnomes adorning the front lawn as well as an 'I LUV EARTH' sign and a few scattered pink flamingos. He walked silently up the front steps and lightly knocked at the door. It was answered by the tiny robot clad in the little green dog suit.
"What does the Big Headed Man want?" He asked in a high pitched winy voice. "I'm missing the Angry Monkey Show!!"
"Where's Zim."
Gir blinked a few times and looked away. "Master is…..OUT," he slowly began to close the door. "Master hasn't been home for quite a while. Big Head should go find him…" He looked up at Dib with big tear-filled eyes. "…Gir is worried"
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Dib slowly walked into the dimly lit bar. He had been searching for Zim for three hours and was still unable to find the alien menace. He took his place at a nearby bar stool and ordered a beer, still deep in thought about where the little alien could be.
There was a small commotion at the end of the bar causing Dib to casually look in its direction. His eyes quickly widened.
"Zim…."
Zim was currently seated at the edge of the bar, gulping down shots as if it were going out of style. He already had six empty shot glasses in front of him and was gulping down a seventh, the crowd of drunks cheering and applauding around him. Dib got up from his seat and angrily walked over to Zim. He was making a fool out of himself and was too drunk to notice. He quickly grabbed Zim by the wrist and yanked him off the bar stool.
Zim turned to Dib and gave him a startled look. "Wh-What are you doing here!?!"
"Trying to keep you from making a complete fool of yourself." He knew Zim was too drunk to really hurt him and wasn't going to leave without a fight. So in one swift movement he picked Zim up and quickly proceeded to throw him over his shoulder, Zim kicking and screaming all the way out.
"Let me go, you-you stupid earth worm." He slurred. "Wh-What are you going to do to me? Where are you taking me!? Help! HELP!"
"Will you stop freaking out already? AND STOP SCREAMING!"
Zim's body went limp.
'Is he dead,? Did I give him a heart attack!?'
Dib nearly Zim's body when he heard him snoring on his back. There he was, walking down the street with a passed out, drunk alien on his back.
'Well, now what am I gonna do? I can't carry him all the way to his base, it's way too far for me to walk with this drunken menace on my back. Damn he's getting heavy!'
Dib continued to wander down the streets, still wondering what to do with Zim's limp body. Then he thought about his house. Ever since Gaz had started hitting the bottle, she had always had her and her drunken friends over for the night. Father had always said it was better than having them out late on the street but Dib begged to differ. When Gaz was drunk she was content and mellow, but once the hangover kicked in she was mean, REALLY MEAN.
'Well, then I suppose it's settled. My house it is.'