Disclaimer: This is my disclamier for the whole story: I don't know own Gilmore Girls. It is owned by the brillant ASP and the CW. I don't earn anything from this story.
Full Summery: AU. Post Sadie, Sadie. The results of a car crash alters the life that Dean became so used to living. With those results Dean must face the grief, pain, and everything else that comes with such a truma. Will he be able to let the others around him in or push them away?
Author's note: This story was previously called A Flash Of Lighting but half way through the story I wanted to take it a certain direction but I couldn't with the way I perviously had it. So here's the new story. Thanks to NarcoGilmore for help.
thoughts
other
empathize
Chapter One: Accident
Dean walked away from the Gilmore house with his girlfriend's words echoing in his mind. "Please don't be upset!" Rory pleaded with him and though he told her he wasn't, he was. Her grandfather had told him he wasn't good enough to date his granddaughter! Yes he may not know what college he would go to or an idea of what he wanted to major in, or the fact that he couldn't help that he made average grades, but Rory was special! She knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, she had known since she was four! He loved her, was that not enough?
With a heavy sigh, Dean walked up to his house noticing a yellow piece of paper attached to the door. Instantly recognizing the neat handwriting as his mother's, he read the note.
Dean,
We decided to go out to dinner in Woodbridge. We should be back around ten or so.
-Love, Mom
With another heavy sigh, Dean shoved the note into his pocket and went inside the house. Climbing the stairs to his room, he couldn't stop thinking about the dinner with Richard and Emily.
"This family has standards!" Richard told Rory. "You live up to them, and you should expect that everyone that you spend time with live up to them also! You are a gifted girl with immense promise, and you should learn very early that certain people can hold you back!"
Dean threw himself onto his bed, his hands covering his eyes and his face crumpled as he processed even more thoughts. How could I hold Rory back? I know that she's smarter then I'll ever be. Maybe I could prove myself to them…I could try to take some summer courses; some advance classes somewhere. I could maybe get some kind of tutor to help in the areas that I'm struggling or I could talk to Rory but I'll never be as smart as her! I'll never be able to be better then her! Ugh, what am I going to do?
Rolling over to his side he remembered what Rory shouted back to Richard in response. "You don't even know him! Dean is incredible and he's special to me!" Dean smiled. Rory had called him special. Maybe he was enough for her; after all, her opinion was ultimately the only one that mattered. He closed his eyes and fell asleep thinking of her.
He was dreaming, he dreamed of her a lot lately. In his dreams she would say things to him that, in the real world, he would most likely never hear. Everything was perfect in this dream world; he hated being suddenly awakened during them. Her voice suddenly became drowned out by the sound of a bell. Trying to ignore it, he desperately tried to focus on her words but the sound didn't go away. His eyes slowly opened and he slowly realized it was the doorbell that was ringing downstairs. Suddenly alarmed by the rude awakening he quickly scanned the digital clock next to his bed; it was close to one in the morning.
"I'm coming!" Dean shouted running down the stairs as the person at the door continued to ring the bell. He noticed the blue and red lights through the windows; police lights. Suddenly he felt like someone had knocked the wind out of him and his chest tightened as he opened the door with shaking hands. There were two officers standing at the door, one male and one female.
"Are you the son of May and Josh Forester?" The female officer asked and Dean suddenly found it hard to take a breath. "Y-yes, what's wrong? What happened?" He suddenly became increasingly anxious by the second. The officers exchanged glances trying to decide which of them would give the young man the bad news; it was the female that spoke up. "We're sorry to have to tell you this but your family was hit by a drunk driver earlier tonight. The driver ran a stop light and hit the right side of the car. Your father is currently at Hartford General undergoing surgery. The younger girl, I presume is your sister right?" Dean nodded earnestly. "She is still in surgery as well, but your mother…" The officer swallowed, closing her eyes and opening them just as quick as she closed them. "Your mother was killed instantly upon impact. We are terribly sorry about your loss."
Dead. His mother was dead. How could this be happening? I saw her today after school and she was fine.
"Do you want a ride to the hospital son?" The male officer spoke for the first time. Dean just shook his head. "A car…" Dean choked. "I have a car." He closed his eyes wanting to fight off the wave of emotion, wanting to deny the fact that his mother was dead, and wanting to be able to move but he just could not. "It's alright son; we'll follow you to make sure you make it there safely."
Nodding, Dean turned to go back inside. Just move Dean. He commanded himself. One foot in front of the other. Keys, cell phone, keys, cell phone. Mom always said to bring your cell phone with you no matter where you went, even if it was just to the store. He could hear her voice. Don't forget your cell phone Dean!
Grabbing both he found the quick ability to get to his truck. I need to get to Clara and Dad. Mom would want me to get to them. Pulling out of the driveway, he started to speak out loud to reassure himself.
"My mother is gone, but I'll be fine. Everything is going to be okay. I have my dad and Clara. I still have them, they'll be fine. They are still in surgery, but they'll be fine and we can get though this together. Mom would want us to be able to move on and live without her. I'll…I'll be able to make you proud. Water started to leak from the corner of his eyes but he wiped them away furiously. He was not going to cry now. His chest was heaving and his arms were shaking but he had to get to the hospital.
Looking in his rear-view mirror he saw the blue and red lights flashing. He did his best to push his emotions aside, ignored his thoughts and drove.
Pulling into a parking space, he quickly jumped out of his truck almost before he could get his keys out of the ignition. He slammed the door shut and ran for the emergency room doors. He ignored the people sitting in chairs that looked like they could have possibly been waiting there for hours and headed straight for the reception desk. A nurse in blue scrubs looked up at him from her computer.
"Can I help you sir?" The nurse asked. "M-my family they were in a car accident. The cops said…they said my dad and sister were in surgery here." Dean panted almost out of breath.
"The name of your family sir…"
Cutting her off Dean nearly shouted. "Forester, its Forester!"
"Just calm down, Mr. Forester." The female officer's voice soothed from behind him. "They're doing everything they can I'm sure to save them."
The nurse looked up from the computer again. "Your father is till in surgery, I'm not positive about sister though; let me go check with the doctor. Why don't you just take a seat over there-" She pointed to a few empty seats near the desk. "And wait for the doctor to come talk to you." The nurse rose from the desk and walked down a long white hallway.
Dean walked over to the chair like a zombie. Dad. Clara. Please be alright. He prayed. Please.
"Is there any other family member you would like to contact?" One of the officers asked. Dean wasn't sure which at this point, he just looked at the wall in front of him. "My grandmother…she lives in Chicago. I'll…I'll call her later." How can I tell her that her daughter's dead? How am I going to do this?"
"Is there anyone else you can call? We have to go back out and we don't think you should be alone right now." Who could I…Rory! "Yes, I'll call Rory, she's my girlfriend. I'll call Rory soon." Dean could not bring himself to look at them so he continued to stare at the wall.
"Okay son, our condolences to you and the rest of your family."
"Th-thank you." And with that said they left Dean alone. He put his head in his hands and rocked slightly. My mother's dead. The realization finally hit him. She's not coming back, she is gone forever and I'll never be able to see or speak to her ever again.
"Dean Forester?" A deep male voice called out.
Mom…
"Dean Forester?" The doctor called again getting no response. Dean's head snapped up and his eyes met a male doctor dressed in scrubs similar to the nurse he had talked to earlier. "Are you Dean Forester?" The doctor asked.
Dean nodded. "Yes, I am. Is my dad okay? What about my sister? Are they going to survive? How are they? Please tell me!" He begged leaping out of his chair to stand up in front of the doctor. The doctor's expression didn't change.
"I'm Dr. Summers. I have viewed your father and your sister's cases.Your father is still in surgery." Explained Dr. Summers. "He sustained severe internal damage to his lungs, kidney, and liver. His right arm was crushed upon impact; we had to amputate it below the elbow. Both of his legs were broken in several places and his skull was also cracked. He has also lost a significant amount of blood but we are doing everything we can to save him."
Oh my God. Dad…
"What about my sister? Clara, how is she?" Dean asked becoming inpatient.
"Maybe you should sit down; this is a lot to take in all at once." The doctor suggested.
"I'm fine." Dean snapped. "Just tell me about Clara. Please." He added the please as an afterthought.
The doctor paused a few seconds before speaking. "Clara suffered some damage to the right side of her brain from the impact, a broken arm, both legs, and a few other minor injuries as well. After her surgery she slipped into a coma, she isn't completely stable yet but hopefully she will be soon."
"But she will come out of it right?" Dean asked.
"Honestly, if Clara does become stable within the next twenty-four hours she still only has a fifty percent chance of coming out of the coma."
"Can I see her?"
"Only for a short time I'm afraid. She is in ICU and you can only visit for five minutes every hour, it's hospital policy. ICU is on the fourth floor, would you like me to show you to her room?"
I should see her, I need to see her. "Yes." Dean replied. "Very well, follow me." Dean walked behind the doctor and kept his gaze forward. When they reached ICU the doctor stopped at the second door on the left and turned to Dean. "This is her room; her condition will probably alarm you." He explained opening the door for him.
Dean slowly took a step into the room and his eyes immediately focused on Clara. His baby sister lay helplessly on the bed; the right side of her head was covered in bruises. Her face also swollen and bruised. Her legs and left arm were held up in casts and a bandage covered parts of her right arm and hand. There were several wires and tubes connecting from different parts of her body to various machines next to her bed, all of which made various beeping sounds.
Dean approached the bed and stared down at his baby sister. She looked so small. So broken. "You can talk to her." The doctor said from behind him. Dean reached out and placed a hand over Clara's small bandaged one. "I'll leave you with her. A nurse will be by soon when your time is over." Dean only nodded in response.
He kept looking at his sister trying to take everything in. His eyes continued to gaze over her crippled form and followed the tubes from her body to the machine. What if she never wakes up? "Hi Clara." Dean's voice came out choked. "It's your brother Dean. I'm here munchkin." Dean used the nickname he used to call her when she younger but had stopped on her ninth birthday when she insisted to Dean that she was no longer a munchkin.
His thoughts were interrupted by a nurse entering the room. "I'm sorry. But visiting time is over; you can come back in an hour." Dean squeezed Clara's hand before leaving her side.
Suddenly Dean felt as if he was being smothered. The night's events flooded his head and reality really hit him this time. Dean picked up his pace down the hallway and quickly headed for the exit of the hospital. The humid air almost took away what little breath he had left when he reached the outside. Knowing things were only going to get harder from this point on, he reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.