The Life of a Horse in Assassin's Creed Brotherhood
You open your eyes to the warm glow of the morning sun. It's a beautiful day: the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, and the man in a white robe is running across the rooftops…wait, what? (Humans are weird), you think as you bend your head down to graze some hay, when the man suddenly swan-dives right into it!
You reel back as the crazy dude leaps out and—without so much as an apology-starts running after one of those 'Borgia guards'. You know them as, 'the idiots who put armor on their horses for no purpose other them to slow them down'. Really, they were already almost invincible, what was the point? You remember seeing those poor creatures struggle to walk under the heavy metal weight, gasping for air, their blight hidden by the pixels. Well, that isn't your concern right now.
A normal schmuck climbs onto you and starts going who-knows-where. She mainly just rides around Roma, not getting off anywhere, wandering aimlessly around for no reason other than to not use her legs. You sigh inwardly as you come up on a staircase. GOD FORBID that she should just walk down it herself. You magically float down the stairs using the same walking animation and leave the city, FINALLY.
(What happened to the old days, where almost nobody rode us, and we could be outside all the time?), you think. Your great-grandhorse, you remember, told stories of living only outdoors in the wide open spaces. He also spoke of a mythical fourth speed somewhere between a trot and a gallop that was activated by holding only RT, but you're sure that's just legend.
As you slowly walk down the lane, silently hoping the rider will let go of the A button already so you can go faster, you see a pickpocket run past. (Now, what's he running from?), you think, when all of a sudden the crazy man you saw earlier pulls down your rider and jumps on top of you!
"I don't want to die! I'm BEEEUUUTIIIFUUUL!" your rider whines while running away.
The guards seem oblivious to all that just happened. (Thought so), you think—the Borgia never seemed to care about you horses. Jerks. You feel the A and RT buttons suddenly pressed down and a loud voice shouting,"ANDIAMO! AYE, AYE!" (All right, all right, I'll go! No need to yell!), you think, and you are suddenly racing towards the pickpocket at high speed.
Your new rider leaps off of you, using your side as a launching pad, and tackles the pickpocket, taking back his money. (Ouch! Smooth move, dick!) You're prepared for him to start riding you again, when he unsheathes a hidden blade and stabs the robber! You can't help but run for the hills as he loots the corpse, but eventually he catches up to you and climbs on top of you again.
End of Chapter 1.