It was midnight when she made her way into her room at Granny's. Their room really, although he kept a room across the hall to appease her parents. Her father mostly. Mary Margaret is far more progressive about things than he is. His traditional roots from the Enchanted Forest had followed him here and made him a bit old fashioned. She struggled with her coat as she closed the door, feeling the weight of the day bearing down on her. He was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the bed but stood up when she entered. He could see the weariness as though it was a physical mass sitting on her shoulders. She looked tired, and slightly defeated. She sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her boots but stopped when she realized that she didn't even have the energy to untie heer own boots and take them off. He knelt down in front of her and delftly undid the strings on the boots with his hook and slid each boot off with his good hand. She set her feet back on the floor and leaned forward placing her head in her hands. "Love, what is it? Was there a battle I was unaware of."
"No." It took nearly all of her energy to form that one word." He sat next to her, taking her hand in his. "Talk to me Swan."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I'm the Savior."
"And?" She sighed and she felt a dam burst inside herself. Her head snapped up and she looked at him with tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "The Savior doesn't get to do this. I don't get to come home tired and exhausted and just so done that I could scream." She took a deep breathe like it was an effort before continuing. "These people Killian. I love them and I take my responsiblity seriously but my goodness these people. They create problems and then look at me like I'm somehow failing them when I can't fix them."
"What happend today to make you feel this way?"
"Nothing happened today. It's just been from the minute I got here. From the minute I was born apparently. My life has just been one big means to an end. Getting out of a curse or getting a happy ever after and no one cares that I'm just so tired. I'm so tired. I'm only human. I may have magic but I am only human. I never get a break from being the Savior. Saving Storybrooke from Regina, saving Henry from Pan, saving Storybrooke from Zelena, and now these women trying to find the author ahead of us. An author that may or may not exist. When I don't get there right on time or when I miss a clue it's all my fault. I get sent to the past and save an innocent woman from nearly certain death and next thing I know I've got Regina's loss of her happy ending set firmly on my shoulders. I am just so tired and no one cares."
"I do."
"I know you do. So do Henry and Mary Margaret and David. I know that I have people that care. But some of these people only see me in terms of what I have done or could do for them. Can I really believe that they would still care about me if I failed? If I didn't manage to be the Savior for them? The things that some of them have said when I've come close to failing, as though their entire being is in my hands, it's just too much. Too much responsibility that I never asked for. They don't think so but their words are sharp and they cut me, but as long as it motivates me to save them and their happy endings it all seems like it's just fine. I'm not a person to them."
"Love do you let them see you as a person?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you allow them to see your tired and your weary? Do you allow them to see your frustration? Or do you only paint them the picture of the strong, infallible savior?"
"I suppose I've never really let my guard down with them."
"Perhaps they see you only as their protector because that's all that you've allowed yourself to be to them. You have friendly connections with everyone here in town but you've only allowed yourself to be vulnerable to a select few. Let them see every facet of you Swan. They will have no alternative but to love you and concern with your well being will follow suit." The tears that had fallen from her eyes had faded and she rest her head on his shoulder. She had never had this before. Someone to calm her down when she was upset. Someone to help her to feel better when the world got to be too much. She scooted up the bed, pulling him by the collar of his shirt with her, and curled herself into him. She pulled his arm around her waist, linking her fingers with his. "Thank you Killian."
"For what?"
"For being here. For being my rock. Before you I tended to feel adrift and now I have an anchor. Someone to hold me steady when I feel like the world is going crazy."
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be love. You have become the same for me. Now rest. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and exhausting as it may be the town will require its savior. But hopefully it helps in some small measure Swan to know that I will be here. If you need an anchor it will be my honor and privelege to be that for you." She smiled and pulled his arm more securely around her waist as she fell into slumber. A short time before she had been bone weary but as she fell asleep the weariness had left her replaced by a peace that allowed her to sleep peacefully. With his arms around his Swan it was only moments later that Killian followed her.