A/N: So, as loyal readers may know, I have a very silly habit of writing raps for my beloved characters. My friends wanted me to do Sir Percy Blakeney, of The Scarlet Pimpernel-and so I did my best, though I doubt the man would rap! Therefore the verse is probably more stilted. =) Nonetheless, here it is, in its dubious glory.
Obviously, this is humor-not to be taken seriously. If it's not your thing, you're under no obligation to read or endorse it.
Based on the 1982 version.
A Rap, by Sir Percival Blakeney, Baronet
Sink me! 'Tisn't often that I get a chance to rhyme,
Why, these days in France or England, one can scarcely find the time!
I would trust that saving lives while in disguise is quite enough—
Though of course I do demand in pay fresh linen, and my snuff—
But if you do exact from me, a couplet (mayhap two)
I will happily oblige—as a gentleman should do
Though this rapping, that you asked for, strikes me as quite uncouth,
"Shorty" "yo" and "holla back" are unknown to me, in truth
Yet I'll do my best to tell you of my exploits far and near,
Of my men, the loyal League, and of Marguerite, my dear—
Oh, you fear to hear of Chauvelin? I assure you—worry not!
Odds fish, the man can hardly even tie his own cravat!
I untied it for him—rather neatly, you recall,
In that fateful final duel when we had won the day and all,
After intrigue, after chases, after melancholy days,
Justice reigned supreme amid the revolution's craze
And I take not all the credit—let us grant it to the flower!
In its humble wayside glory, it commands a rightful power.
For while some bless him to heaven, and some cast him into hell,
On earth there's no man like him—the Scarlet Pimpernel!