It was a late Tuesday evening when Howl had noticed that something was wrong.
He had just arrived at his and Sophie's flat after a long evening of dancing and socializing with the locals. This was his third night out this week, and each night he returned with a glassy but content look in his eyes. Probably from the few drinks he'd had. He usually lost count after his fourth glass. Or eighth.
Howl stood outside the entrance fumbling with his keys. It took him a few attempts to find the right one, but he dropped them and they hit the cool stony floor with a quiet jingle. He sighed, and bent to pick them up. The moon was high up in the sky, casting a soft glow on the town of Ingary. When he bent over to reach for his keys, a wave of nausea hit him hard, and he crouched over on his toes and brought his knees close to his chest with his arms. Damn it, he thought, maybe I shouldn't have gone out tonight. Howl lifted one arm to knock on the wooden door, hoping that Sophie would hear him.
As if on cue, Sophie opened the door before his arm could reach it, and because his equilibrium was off his weight shifted to one side and he nearly fell over. Sophie caught him by his shoulder and he squinted as the light from the candle she held blinded him. He smiled at her, but her face mirrored the exact opposite expression.
"Do you know what time it is?" Sophie asked, trying to control her temper. Howl was about to shake his head, but that nearly caused him to throw up. Sophie groaned under her breath, placed the candle on the side table, and pulled the drunken wizard up. She propped him against her, supporting most of his weight.
"For heavens sake, Howl; you may look lean but you weigh as much as a cow," she muttered irritably. He ignored that comment, much too tired to think of a comeback. The two slowly made their way past the den and into Howl's room. It was a complete mess, with books, clothes and potions scattered everywhere. Sophie kicked some of them away trying to create a path from the door to his bed through the rubble. Normally, Howl would have had a fit because Sophie was throwing around his possessions, but the fool was too intoxicated with alcohol Sophie could have dumped all his potions down the drain and he could not give a damn. Not until the next morning, at least.
"Come along now, take off your shoes," she murmured, helping him onto the bed. He kicked them off with his heels, and Sophie helped him to loosen the strings on his shirt. Then she reached into her pocket for a match to light the candle on his side table. Sophie looked up at him and saw that his eyes were bloodshot and his face was red, even under the candle's dim light. She wanted nothing more than to throw him back onto the streets with those barbaric friends he was with tonight, but her anger only masked her feelings of worry and fear for him.
"I'll be right back," she said, letting her fingertips brush his arm, and she quickly retreated to the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. She opened one of the wooden cupboards, grabbed a glass, and then searched for an elixir that would ensure he would sleep for at least twelve hours. When she spotted the familiar blue vial she reached for it on her toes and plucked it from the shelves. She filled the glass with water from the tap, and then stared at the blue vial in her hand. She twisted it in her hands, hoping that maybe she'd find the answer by looking at it from different angles.
Are you sure about this? Sophie asked herself. She wasn't, but right now she wasn't sure about a lot of things. She took a deep breath, and popped open the cap. She poured one tiny drop into his drink, knowing it would be more than enough. She watched as the liquid created a silky blue ribbon in his drink, and she stirred it quickly with a spoon, watching it disappear. Sophie picked up the glass and returned to Howl's room to find him curled up in a ball under his sheets. She almost smiled.
Sophie sat on the edge of the bed and silently handed Howl the glass. He stood up reluctantly, feeling his head throb. He moaned in pain, and then downed the glass of water in seconds. When he set the glass down, Sophie felt a lump form in her throat. She looked down at her feet before she spoke.
"Did you buy the fabric I asked you to get?" she whispered as loudly as she dared. She already knew the answer, but there was hope that she so desperately clung onto. There was an agonizingly long pause as Howl tried to remember what she meant. Sophie took the silence as a 'no', and smiled bitterly.
"That's alright… you must have been… busy," she said, and Howl wanted to explain with some petty excuse; he was on his way to the store when he had met some lovely people, whose names he'd already forgotten, when they invited him to go out for dining and dancing. Sophie would understand, he had thought; he was only trying to be politely. He wanted to tell her, but he felt like there was a giant weight on his shoulders. He felt very tired. His eye lids felt heavy, and his pulse was beginning to slow. He needed to say something, because in the pit of his stomach he felt there was something off about the way she was acting. Like a mother who was trying to think of a way to break the news to her son that their father was not returning home from his trip. That he never would.
"Sophie…" he tried again, but she just silenced him by touching her fingers to his lips. He felt a light flush creep onto his face from the gesture, and even Sophie was surprised at the boldness of her actions. She pulled her hand away quickly.
"Go to sleep, Howl," she said in an almost soothing tone. He murmured something, but his words were lost as fatigue took over him. He closed his eyes and his head lulled to one side of his pillow. He truly did look like a child, especially under the candlelight, Sophie thought; so peaceful and so unaware. She felt tears well up in her eyes, and she stood up before her urge to curl up beside him grew any stronger. She reached for the candle and carried it over towards the door. She turned and took one last lingering look at Howl. It was all set. Now, she had to pluck up the courage to finish what she'd already started.
Then, she stepped out into the hallway, closed the door behind her, and headed for her room to pack her things.