Presenting……. The return of Elysian! Yes, it's been awhile since I have written any fanfic, but I'm back!
In order for this story to make any sense, you really should read the original story: Scum. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!
I had nightmares throughout the entire night. Nightmares about Ezra falling from a hundred feet in the air when his cords snapped that had been lowering him onto the stage during one of his concerts.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that Ezra would go on to become a singer. A heavy metal singer. A goth, heavy metal singer. Not that I can say much. I used to be a goth myself. But not while screaming music to thousands of people. And this is Ezra we're talking about. Sweet, innocent Ezra. The Ezra I knew loved Shakespeare and animals, not loud music and black makeup.
I need to see him. Which won't be an easy task to accomplish since I don't know exactly where he's living now. And I'm sure he has a security guard or something like that. Don't all famous people?
Throwing a poptart into the toaster, I slump down in my chair at the kitchen table. I wrap my fuzzy, blue robe closer to my body and take a sip of my warm coffee. Black. You can't contaminate good coffee.
I never read the actual news in the newspaper. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to pay for the thing. I always skip right to the comics and the Arts and Entertainment section. I'm not a very worldly person, I guess. My college economics professor would hang me by big toe if he ever found out I don't keep up with the current events. By the way, who won the presidential election? Just kidding.
"Scum: Coming to Town" screams at me in bold letters at the top of the Arts and Entertainment section of the paper. Well, isn't it my lucky day?
Scum is coming to town this Friday night
at 7:00 at the Theatre. They hit it big last
year with their first single, "Get Away From
Me, Jerk". The metal band's lead singer,
Snake, will also be meeting ten lucky guests
backstage after the concert. Tickets are going
fast.
Well, then, I guess I need a ticket, don't I? This could be my only chance to see Ezra again. Maybe I can be his groupie. On second thought, maybe not.
This is the first time I'm actually thankful that I had bought myself a computer. I've never liked the things much. It never works the way you want it and then it crashes on you. I've never understood people that can spend all day in front of a computer. But today, I love my computer and ticketmaster.com is my new best friend.
Damn, tickets sure cost a lot. Ezra, you sure better be worth the $65 I'm about to shell out for you! And at that price I better get front row, too. After I purchase my ticket, I swing over to amazon.com and buy a copy of "Freakin' ". I figure if I'm going to his concert, I better get to know his music and try to understand what the big fuss is about. Last I knew, Ezra couldn't sing a note.
*****
Two days sure go by slowly when you're waiting impatiently for something. I had even shelled out extra money for that 2-day delivery thing. And I'm still impatient. But they're here! They're both here!
Opening up the envelope with the ticket inside, I can't wait to see what kind of crummy seats I'm getting. Instead my eyes bug out of my head. Front row seats! Today must be my lucky day!
And now it's time to open up the CD. Interesting. The front cover is pretty simple. Ezra and the rest of his freaky band are standing in the middle of a playground. I flip the CD over and proceed to read the list of songs.
1. Get Away From Me, Jerk
2. Ha
3. The Boathouse ---- uh oh, hope that's not about you know what!
4. Petals of a Daisy --- uh oh again!
5. Celebritism
7. Snake Eyes
8. Dark Child
9. Moonlight
10. Untitled As of Yesterday
Great. So there are two potential songs that might be about me. And to think I thought he had forgotten all about over these past few years. Or at least had moved on to someone else by now.
I put the CD into my stereo and crank up the volume. The first songs aren't too bad. I even find myself actually kinda dancing to the music. Not that you can dance very well to heavy metal music, but you know what I mean.
Uh oh. I was right. The third song is about me. It has a slower melody to it and Ezra sings with such pain and emotion. And I never thought the boy could sing. Guess I was wrong. And I also never knew how much I had hurt him when I had turned him down in the boathouse that night. Why do I still feel so rotten about it?
Maybe I did really like him back then. Maybe I was even in love with him. Maybe he was the best thing that was in my life at that time. Maybe not. I don't know! How come I've never been able to deal with my emotions? I guess I'll just have to see him again to know the truth.
******
I don't think I've experienced so many butterflies in my stomach in my whole life. They kept me up the whole, entire night. I'm finally starting to fall asleep (at about noon the next morning) when the phone rings and wakes me up.
"Hello? Is this Daisy Lipenowski?" a woman's perky voice asks me on the other end of the line. She is way too happy this early in the morning.
"Yes," I say groggily back to the perky lady.
"Did you purchase a ticket to the Scum concert this evening?"
"Yes," I say a little bit hesitantly. I hope she wasn't taking back my ticket or something. Heck, I paid enough money for the thing.
"Well, ma'am-"
Ma'am? I hate being called ma'am.
"-Out of ten thousands tickets that were sold, your ticket was one of ten randomly selected tickets that were chosen to meet Snake backstage tonight after the Scum concert!"
I nearly drop the phone. I get to go backstage?!?! That means I'll get to see Ezra!
"Wow! I don't know what to say! Thank you!"
"Thank you, Daisy Lipenowski, for purchasing a ticket. If you bring a picture I.D. to the concert tonight and show it to any of the security guards, they'll give you a backstage pass."
"Okay. And thanks again!"
"Have fun tonight!" the perky lady says and then hangs up the phone.
Well, this little announcement certainly has waken me up. I couldn't go back to sleep now even if I wanted to. So, hopping out of bed, I decide to take a quick shower.
When I'm done with that, I stare at my wardrobe critically. What am I supposed to wear for a concert like this? Should I do the whole "teenybopper, white tank top" look, the "twenty-something jeans and a t-shirt" look, or should I dig out my black makeup and go goth?
I finally decide on this really cool vintage t-shirt I had found recently at a thrift store and an old pair of jeans. They have a hole in them. I'm hoping that will help me fit in a little bit better. But knowing me, I'll probably stick out like a sore thumb. A sore thumb? Where did that expression come from anyway?
So, I change, I eat something, I make myself look presentable. I even put on a smidgen of make-up. I rarely do that. I don't know even know what possessed me to do that. Okay, I do know what possessed me to do that. Visions of Ezra dance through my head. The rest of the day passes by slowly.
*****
I don't go to many concerts. I don't usually have much time. Work consumes most of my day. Believe it or not, I have a job at a computer company. I work on the company's website. It's very demanding work. I'm constantly being taught new programs and new and different ways to code things.
I don't have much of a social life. I've dated a little bit here and there, but nothing that's ever lasted more than a couple of months. Guys are kinda jerky where I live. I don't think any of them have adjusted to not being an adolescent anymore. You'd think they'd grow up by the time they reached their mid-twenties. Apparently not.
The Theatre is extremely crowded. I had gotten there early and there's still thousands of people milling around. My first task is to find myself a security guard so I can get my backstage pass.
"Um, hi?" I say to a big, burly man wearing a security guard uniform. He's very large and intimidating looking. He looks like he might crush me with his pinky finger if I look at him the wrong way. But he's the only security guard that I see around and the crowd is too thick for me to try and find another one.
"What can I do for you?" he looks down at me and gives me a warm smile.
"I was told to obtain my backstage pass from a security guard."
"Sure!" he says cheerfully and takes out a pad of paper from his back pocket. "I just need your name and a form of identification."
"Daisy Lipenowski," I tell him showing him my driver's license.
"There you go." He hands me a backstage ticket. "Don't lose it. And have fun at the concert!"
"Thanks a lot!" Maybe he isn't so intimidating after all.
With my backstage pass, in pocket, I go to find my seat. It's not that hard to find considering my seat is front row center. Yes, front row center. Sorry. Just felt like I had to brag again.
There are a lot of weird people that also seemed to get front row seats. People with green, spiky hair and people with piercings all over their faces. One girl even has "Scum" tattooed across her forehead. Scary. It's a little comforting to see that a few people are dressed in t-shirts and jeans like I am.
I have to wait around for about ten minutes before the concert starts. And then finally, the lights dim, a strobe light starts flashing, loud bass music fills the air, and the curtain slowly opens.
Ezra, aka Snake, is lowered down to the stage by wires just like he was at the Grammy's. He sticks his tongue out a few times and basically looks a little frightening to me. He looks like I would have dressed about 7 years ago. Once he reaches the stage, they start a rendition of their song, "Ha".
Scum goes through all of the songs on their CD, and a few other songs, too. Ezra has quite the stage presence. He sings and runs around the stage. I never knew he had that much energy. I even find myself singing along to the music and dancing a little from my seat. Everyone else is jumping up and down and sometimes moshing with each other.
The band leaves at the end of their set and everyone shouts and yells for an encore. Scum runs back out onto the stage for one last song. The music is slower this time. It's my song. I almost can't bear to listen to it. I can even see a tear slip down Ezra's face as he sings the song.
They finish the song and take one last final bow. And then they're gone. He was amazing. For a metal singer, anyway. My stomach starts to flitter as I now realize in just a few minutes, I'll get to see Ezra again.
I haven't seen him since we had graduated from Horizon. We had talked on the phone a few times, but then we had gradually lost contact with each other. Our lives had gone separate ways. I had thought about him a lot. Once, I had tried calling him, but he had moved, and the new owners of his house didn't know where they went. So, I haven't talked to him since. I just hope he's the same Ezra that, deep down inside, I knew I used to love.
I fight my way back to where I'm supposed to go backstage. A security guard stops me, but I show him my backstage pass, and he lets me through. I see that the other nine people are already there, talking with the band and getting things autographed. I just hang back and watch for a minute. I want to talk to Ezra without everyone else around.
Deciding not to just stand around and look like an idiot, I go and talk to the other three band members first. I shake their hands and tell them they did a great job and they smile at me. I don't really know what else to say to them. I didn't bring anything to autograph. I hadn't even thought of that.
Finally, I reach Ezra. He's wearing his stage make-up, but he still looks beautiful to me. He looks up at me and smiles and shakes my hand.
"Do you have anything you want me to autograph?" he asks me.
My heart drops. He doesn't recognize me. Maybe he doesn't remember me. No, he's got to remember me! He has a song for me! Well, I suppose I do look a little different, but he should know who I am!
"Ezra?" I whisper.
His eyes widen is disbelief. "Daisy?"
I nod.
"I can't believe it's you!" He engulfs me in the biggest hug I have ever received. "I thought it might be you, but I wasn't sure, so I didn't say anything! I've missed you so much! What are you doing here?" he says in one breath.
"I came to see you."
"And you don't know how happy I am to see you! Hey, guys, come over here!" he calls to his other band mates.
They all saunter over, not looking too interested.
"This is Daisy," Ezra says proudly.
"The Daisy?" one of the guys asks incredulously. "You mean the chick from your song?"
"Yes, the chick from my song," Ezra laughs.
"Well, nice to meet you, Daisy," the guy shakes her hand again. "Just don't go breaking his heart again. We're not into mushy songs as much as Snake is."
I smile out of politeness. I don't really like to be reminded all the time that I broke Ezra's heart. And it's also weird to hear people refer to him as Snake.
All the other backstage pass winners have already left and it's just me, Ezra, and the rest of the band.
Ezra continues to smile at me. He steps back and looks at me. "You look great, Daisy! Even better than when we left Horizon!"
"You look, uh, different," I say awkwardly. I can't really say that he looks great. I just don't see him as the make-up type.
He laughs. "I can't imagine what you must be thinking right about now. Come with me to my dressing room and I'll get all this make-up off and then we can talk."
I follow him down the hallway to his dressing room. I think his dressing room might have been bigger than my apartment. There is a couch, loveseat, chair, and coffee table in the center of the room. An assortment of other chairs are placed sporadically around the room. A vanity is in one corner and the bathroom in another corner. A huge bowl of fruit is placed on the coffee table.
"Have a seat. I'll just go get cleaned up."
He heads toward the bathroom and I sink into the big, soft couch. It feels so nice to be able to talk to him again. Hopefully things with him are good.
Coming out a few minutes later, he looks just like the Ezra I used to know. Well, except a little older anyway. His hair is still a mop of curls and his eyes are as blue and clear as a pool of water.
"So, you sing now," I say. I don't know what to say to him. What are you supposed to say to a person you haven't talked to in five years? "I didn't know you could sing."
"Neither did I."
"So, how did you get into the whole 'singing thing'?"
"Well, basically, I went to college at UCLA."
"You never told me you were leaving!" I interrupt his story. Despite how good it is to see him, I'm still a little mad at him for leaving and never telling me where he went.
"I know. And I'm sorry. I had this huge fight with my parents and one day I just left. I didn't tell them where I went, I didn't tell anybody. I've never forgiven myself for not telling you where I went. I just felt like I couldn't."
"You could have told me anything, Ezra. I would have been there for you."
"I realize that now, but I was stupid back then. I just left and thought it would be for the best if I didn't tell you. I don't know, Daisy. I still don't know why I did it."
I sigh. I guess I can forgive him. I don't know how I can't forgive him. He put up with a lot from during our friendship and I at least owe him enough to forgive him.
"So, anyway, I went to UCLA. I had no idea what I was doing. No idea what I wanted to major in. I was just taking a bunch of nonsense classes. I didn't really like any of them and didn't even attend most of them all that often.
"One day, I was skipping my psych class and hanging out in a coffee shop somewhere when some guy came in. He glanced over at me, bought me another coffee and then came to sit down. He said, 'Young man, I can make you a star'. He became my manager and he has made me a star."
It sounds like a completely ridiculous story, but I believe it. "And what made you decide to be like this? To wear black make-up and sing heavy metal? That's so unlike you, Ezra. You look sort of like I used to," I give a little laugh.
Ezra moves from the chair to sit on the couch next to me. I can feel my heart starting to beat faster in my chest.
"I'm not happy, Daisy. This is never what I wanted out of my life. Bill, that's my manager, he decides everything for me. He picks my clothes and my make-up. He hired the band for me. None of the band really likes me that much. He wrote all of the songs for me. Well, all of them except for the two I wrote about you. At the time I didn't know what to do with myself and I knew singing would help pay the bills. I never imagined it would turn out this way."
"So, why don't you just stop?"
"I can't. I have a contract that doesn't expire for another two years."
"Oh, Ezra," I say sympathetically and wrap my arms around his shoulders.
"Enough about my pathetic life. How have you been?"
"I've been pretty good, I guess. I finally moved away from my father. He hasn't changed much. I work for a computer company now. I have an apartment. I'm happy."
He looks at me a little nervously. Do you have a significant other?"
"No. I've dated a little bit here and there, but nobody that I've liked enough to keep dating. What about you?"
"Well, I was dating a girl named Stephanie for awhile, but then she left me for the drummer. Since then I've just been waiting," he says quietly.
"Waiting for what?"
"For you."
For me? He's been waiting for me? I look up at his face. He's serious. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think. How can he have been waiting for me if I didn't even know where he was?
"Daisy, you know I loved you when we were at Horizon together. I've never stopped loving you. I know that I left and didn't tell you where I was going, but I knew you'd find me someday. And here you are."
His gaze is intense. So intense that I can't look away, even though my heart is in a state of confusion right now. He lifts his hand and gently brushes his fingers against my cheek.
"You're beautiful, you know."
And then he leans down and I feel his lips brush across mine. To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. The kiss was the most amazing kiss I have ever experienced in my life. Not because it was deep and passionate or even sensuous. But because it was filled with love.
"I've wanted to do that ever since the first day I saw you."
He leans back into the couch and looks at me for some sort of a response. He picks up my hand and starts playing with my fingers idly.
"Ezra, I have a confession to tell you."
His face falls like I have something horrible to tell him. "You do have someone, don't you?"
"No, no. Nothing like that. I think that when we were in Horizon, that maybe I did really love you. I think that I was just scared, Ezra, and I couldn't tell you that."
"Scared, Daisy? You never should have been scared to love me."
"I realize that now. But no one has ever really loved me before. Sure, my parents say they loved me, but they never acted like they actually did. Love was a new thing for me and I didn't know what to do with it. So I just ignored it."
"Don't ignore it again. Please." His eyes seem to be begging me.
"I won't ignore it again," I promise him.
"Then come on tour with me."
"What?" I jump up from my seat in amazement. "I can't come on tour with you! I have a job that I can't leave! I have an apartment and other things that I can't just forget about!"
"Daisy, I-I need you with me," he stands up to look me in the eye. Well, not really. He's still taller than me, but you know what I mean.
"I don't think I can," I whisper and stare down at the floor. I can't stand to look at him.
"Don't break my heart again."
"I'm sorry, Ezra, but I might have to."
END OF PART ONE
In order for this story to make any sense, you really should read the original story: Scum. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!
I had nightmares throughout the entire night. Nightmares about Ezra falling from a hundred feet in the air when his cords snapped that had been lowering him onto the stage during one of his concerts.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that Ezra would go on to become a singer. A heavy metal singer. A goth, heavy metal singer. Not that I can say much. I used to be a goth myself. But not while screaming music to thousands of people. And this is Ezra we're talking about. Sweet, innocent Ezra. The Ezra I knew loved Shakespeare and animals, not loud music and black makeup.
I need to see him. Which won't be an easy task to accomplish since I don't know exactly where he's living now. And I'm sure he has a security guard or something like that. Don't all famous people?
Throwing a poptart into the toaster, I slump down in my chair at the kitchen table. I wrap my fuzzy, blue robe closer to my body and take a sip of my warm coffee. Black. You can't contaminate good coffee.
I never read the actual news in the newspaper. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to pay for the thing. I always skip right to the comics and the Arts and Entertainment section. I'm not a very worldly person, I guess. My college economics professor would hang me by big toe if he ever found out I don't keep up with the current events. By the way, who won the presidential election? Just kidding.
"Scum: Coming to Town" screams at me in bold letters at the top of the Arts and Entertainment section of the paper. Well, isn't it my lucky day?
Scum is coming to town this Friday night
at 7:00 at the Theatre. They hit it big last
year with their first single, "Get Away From
Me, Jerk". The metal band's lead singer,
Snake, will also be meeting ten lucky guests
backstage after the concert. Tickets are going
fast.
Well, then, I guess I need a ticket, don't I? This could be my only chance to see Ezra again. Maybe I can be his groupie. On second thought, maybe not.
This is the first time I'm actually thankful that I had bought myself a computer. I've never liked the things much. It never works the way you want it and then it crashes on you. I've never understood people that can spend all day in front of a computer. But today, I love my computer and ticketmaster.com is my new best friend.
Damn, tickets sure cost a lot. Ezra, you sure better be worth the $65 I'm about to shell out for you! And at that price I better get front row, too. After I purchase my ticket, I swing over to amazon.com and buy a copy of "Freakin' ". I figure if I'm going to his concert, I better get to know his music and try to understand what the big fuss is about. Last I knew, Ezra couldn't sing a note.
*****
Two days sure go by slowly when you're waiting impatiently for something. I had even shelled out extra money for that 2-day delivery thing. And I'm still impatient. But they're here! They're both here!
Opening up the envelope with the ticket inside, I can't wait to see what kind of crummy seats I'm getting. Instead my eyes bug out of my head. Front row seats! Today must be my lucky day!
And now it's time to open up the CD. Interesting. The front cover is pretty simple. Ezra and the rest of his freaky band are standing in the middle of a playground. I flip the CD over and proceed to read the list of songs.
1. Get Away From Me, Jerk
2. Ha
3. The Boathouse ---- uh oh, hope that's not about you know what!
4. Petals of a Daisy --- uh oh again!
5. Celebritism
7. Snake Eyes
8. Dark Child
9. Moonlight
10. Untitled As of Yesterday
Great. So there are two potential songs that might be about me. And to think I thought he had forgotten all about over these past few years. Or at least had moved on to someone else by now.
I put the CD into my stereo and crank up the volume. The first songs aren't too bad. I even find myself actually kinda dancing to the music. Not that you can dance very well to heavy metal music, but you know what I mean.
Uh oh. I was right. The third song is about me. It has a slower melody to it and Ezra sings with such pain and emotion. And I never thought the boy could sing. Guess I was wrong. And I also never knew how much I had hurt him when I had turned him down in the boathouse that night. Why do I still feel so rotten about it?
Maybe I did really like him back then. Maybe I was even in love with him. Maybe he was the best thing that was in my life at that time. Maybe not. I don't know! How come I've never been able to deal with my emotions? I guess I'll just have to see him again to know the truth.
******
I don't think I've experienced so many butterflies in my stomach in my whole life. They kept me up the whole, entire night. I'm finally starting to fall asleep (at about noon the next morning) when the phone rings and wakes me up.
"Hello? Is this Daisy Lipenowski?" a woman's perky voice asks me on the other end of the line. She is way too happy this early in the morning.
"Yes," I say groggily back to the perky lady.
"Did you purchase a ticket to the Scum concert this evening?"
"Yes," I say a little bit hesitantly. I hope she wasn't taking back my ticket or something. Heck, I paid enough money for the thing.
"Well, ma'am-"
Ma'am? I hate being called ma'am.
"-Out of ten thousands tickets that were sold, your ticket was one of ten randomly selected tickets that were chosen to meet Snake backstage tonight after the Scum concert!"
I nearly drop the phone. I get to go backstage?!?! That means I'll get to see Ezra!
"Wow! I don't know what to say! Thank you!"
"Thank you, Daisy Lipenowski, for purchasing a ticket. If you bring a picture I.D. to the concert tonight and show it to any of the security guards, they'll give you a backstage pass."
"Okay. And thanks again!"
"Have fun tonight!" the perky lady says and then hangs up the phone.
Well, this little announcement certainly has waken me up. I couldn't go back to sleep now even if I wanted to. So, hopping out of bed, I decide to take a quick shower.
When I'm done with that, I stare at my wardrobe critically. What am I supposed to wear for a concert like this? Should I do the whole "teenybopper, white tank top" look, the "twenty-something jeans and a t-shirt" look, or should I dig out my black makeup and go goth?
I finally decide on this really cool vintage t-shirt I had found recently at a thrift store and an old pair of jeans. They have a hole in them. I'm hoping that will help me fit in a little bit better. But knowing me, I'll probably stick out like a sore thumb. A sore thumb? Where did that expression come from anyway?
So, I change, I eat something, I make myself look presentable. I even put on a smidgen of make-up. I rarely do that. I don't know even know what possessed me to do that. Okay, I do know what possessed me to do that. Visions of Ezra dance through my head. The rest of the day passes by slowly.
*****
I don't go to many concerts. I don't usually have much time. Work consumes most of my day. Believe it or not, I have a job at a computer company. I work on the company's website. It's very demanding work. I'm constantly being taught new programs and new and different ways to code things.
I don't have much of a social life. I've dated a little bit here and there, but nothing that's ever lasted more than a couple of months. Guys are kinda jerky where I live. I don't think any of them have adjusted to not being an adolescent anymore. You'd think they'd grow up by the time they reached their mid-twenties. Apparently not.
The Theatre is extremely crowded. I had gotten there early and there's still thousands of people milling around. My first task is to find myself a security guard so I can get my backstage pass.
"Um, hi?" I say to a big, burly man wearing a security guard uniform. He's very large and intimidating looking. He looks like he might crush me with his pinky finger if I look at him the wrong way. But he's the only security guard that I see around and the crowd is too thick for me to try and find another one.
"What can I do for you?" he looks down at me and gives me a warm smile.
"I was told to obtain my backstage pass from a security guard."
"Sure!" he says cheerfully and takes out a pad of paper from his back pocket. "I just need your name and a form of identification."
"Daisy Lipenowski," I tell him showing him my driver's license.
"There you go." He hands me a backstage ticket. "Don't lose it. And have fun at the concert!"
"Thanks a lot!" Maybe he isn't so intimidating after all.
With my backstage pass, in pocket, I go to find my seat. It's not that hard to find considering my seat is front row center. Yes, front row center. Sorry. Just felt like I had to brag again.
There are a lot of weird people that also seemed to get front row seats. People with green, spiky hair and people with piercings all over their faces. One girl even has "Scum" tattooed across her forehead. Scary. It's a little comforting to see that a few people are dressed in t-shirts and jeans like I am.
I have to wait around for about ten minutes before the concert starts. And then finally, the lights dim, a strobe light starts flashing, loud bass music fills the air, and the curtain slowly opens.
Ezra, aka Snake, is lowered down to the stage by wires just like he was at the Grammy's. He sticks his tongue out a few times and basically looks a little frightening to me. He looks like I would have dressed about 7 years ago. Once he reaches the stage, they start a rendition of their song, "Ha".
Scum goes through all of the songs on their CD, and a few other songs, too. Ezra has quite the stage presence. He sings and runs around the stage. I never knew he had that much energy. I even find myself singing along to the music and dancing a little from my seat. Everyone else is jumping up and down and sometimes moshing with each other.
The band leaves at the end of their set and everyone shouts and yells for an encore. Scum runs back out onto the stage for one last song. The music is slower this time. It's my song. I almost can't bear to listen to it. I can even see a tear slip down Ezra's face as he sings the song.
They finish the song and take one last final bow. And then they're gone. He was amazing. For a metal singer, anyway. My stomach starts to flitter as I now realize in just a few minutes, I'll get to see Ezra again.
I haven't seen him since we had graduated from Horizon. We had talked on the phone a few times, but then we had gradually lost contact with each other. Our lives had gone separate ways. I had thought about him a lot. Once, I had tried calling him, but he had moved, and the new owners of his house didn't know where they went. So, I haven't talked to him since. I just hope he's the same Ezra that, deep down inside, I knew I used to love.
I fight my way back to where I'm supposed to go backstage. A security guard stops me, but I show him my backstage pass, and he lets me through. I see that the other nine people are already there, talking with the band and getting things autographed. I just hang back and watch for a minute. I want to talk to Ezra without everyone else around.
Deciding not to just stand around and look like an idiot, I go and talk to the other three band members first. I shake their hands and tell them they did a great job and they smile at me. I don't really know what else to say to them. I didn't bring anything to autograph. I hadn't even thought of that.
Finally, I reach Ezra. He's wearing his stage make-up, but he still looks beautiful to me. He looks up at me and smiles and shakes my hand.
"Do you have anything you want me to autograph?" he asks me.
My heart drops. He doesn't recognize me. Maybe he doesn't remember me. No, he's got to remember me! He has a song for me! Well, I suppose I do look a little different, but he should know who I am!
"Ezra?" I whisper.
His eyes widen is disbelief. "Daisy?"
I nod.
"I can't believe it's you!" He engulfs me in the biggest hug I have ever received. "I thought it might be you, but I wasn't sure, so I didn't say anything! I've missed you so much! What are you doing here?" he says in one breath.
"I came to see you."
"And you don't know how happy I am to see you! Hey, guys, come over here!" he calls to his other band mates.
They all saunter over, not looking too interested.
"This is Daisy," Ezra says proudly.
"The Daisy?" one of the guys asks incredulously. "You mean the chick from your song?"
"Yes, the chick from my song," Ezra laughs.
"Well, nice to meet you, Daisy," the guy shakes her hand again. "Just don't go breaking his heart again. We're not into mushy songs as much as Snake is."
I smile out of politeness. I don't really like to be reminded all the time that I broke Ezra's heart. And it's also weird to hear people refer to him as Snake.
All the other backstage pass winners have already left and it's just me, Ezra, and the rest of the band.
Ezra continues to smile at me. He steps back and looks at me. "You look great, Daisy! Even better than when we left Horizon!"
"You look, uh, different," I say awkwardly. I can't really say that he looks great. I just don't see him as the make-up type.
He laughs. "I can't imagine what you must be thinking right about now. Come with me to my dressing room and I'll get all this make-up off and then we can talk."
I follow him down the hallway to his dressing room. I think his dressing room might have been bigger than my apartment. There is a couch, loveseat, chair, and coffee table in the center of the room. An assortment of other chairs are placed sporadically around the room. A vanity is in one corner and the bathroom in another corner. A huge bowl of fruit is placed on the coffee table.
"Have a seat. I'll just go get cleaned up."
He heads toward the bathroom and I sink into the big, soft couch. It feels so nice to be able to talk to him again. Hopefully things with him are good.
Coming out a few minutes later, he looks just like the Ezra I used to know. Well, except a little older anyway. His hair is still a mop of curls and his eyes are as blue and clear as a pool of water.
"So, you sing now," I say. I don't know what to say to him. What are you supposed to say to a person you haven't talked to in five years? "I didn't know you could sing."
"Neither did I."
"So, how did you get into the whole 'singing thing'?"
"Well, basically, I went to college at UCLA."
"You never told me you were leaving!" I interrupt his story. Despite how good it is to see him, I'm still a little mad at him for leaving and never telling me where he went.
"I know. And I'm sorry. I had this huge fight with my parents and one day I just left. I didn't tell them where I went, I didn't tell anybody. I've never forgiven myself for not telling you where I went. I just felt like I couldn't."
"You could have told me anything, Ezra. I would have been there for you."
"I realize that now, but I was stupid back then. I just left and thought it would be for the best if I didn't tell you. I don't know, Daisy. I still don't know why I did it."
I sigh. I guess I can forgive him. I don't know how I can't forgive him. He put up with a lot from during our friendship and I at least owe him enough to forgive him.
"So, anyway, I went to UCLA. I had no idea what I was doing. No idea what I wanted to major in. I was just taking a bunch of nonsense classes. I didn't really like any of them and didn't even attend most of them all that often.
"One day, I was skipping my psych class and hanging out in a coffee shop somewhere when some guy came in. He glanced over at me, bought me another coffee and then came to sit down. He said, 'Young man, I can make you a star'. He became my manager and he has made me a star."
It sounds like a completely ridiculous story, but I believe it. "And what made you decide to be like this? To wear black make-up and sing heavy metal? That's so unlike you, Ezra. You look sort of like I used to," I give a little laugh.
Ezra moves from the chair to sit on the couch next to me. I can feel my heart starting to beat faster in my chest.
"I'm not happy, Daisy. This is never what I wanted out of my life. Bill, that's my manager, he decides everything for me. He picks my clothes and my make-up. He hired the band for me. None of the band really likes me that much. He wrote all of the songs for me. Well, all of them except for the two I wrote about you. At the time I didn't know what to do with myself and I knew singing would help pay the bills. I never imagined it would turn out this way."
"So, why don't you just stop?"
"I can't. I have a contract that doesn't expire for another two years."
"Oh, Ezra," I say sympathetically and wrap my arms around his shoulders.
"Enough about my pathetic life. How have you been?"
"I've been pretty good, I guess. I finally moved away from my father. He hasn't changed much. I work for a computer company now. I have an apartment. I'm happy."
He looks at me a little nervously. Do you have a significant other?"
"No. I've dated a little bit here and there, but nobody that I've liked enough to keep dating. What about you?"
"Well, I was dating a girl named Stephanie for awhile, but then she left me for the drummer. Since then I've just been waiting," he says quietly.
"Waiting for what?"
"For you."
For me? He's been waiting for me? I look up at his face. He's serious. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think. How can he have been waiting for me if I didn't even know where he was?
"Daisy, you know I loved you when we were at Horizon together. I've never stopped loving you. I know that I left and didn't tell you where I was going, but I knew you'd find me someday. And here you are."
His gaze is intense. So intense that I can't look away, even though my heart is in a state of confusion right now. He lifts his hand and gently brushes his fingers against my cheek.
"You're beautiful, you know."
And then he leans down and I feel his lips brush across mine. To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. The kiss was the most amazing kiss I have ever experienced in my life. Not because it was deep and passionate or even sensuous. But because it was filled with love.
"I've wanted to do that ever since the first day I saw you."
He leans back into the couch and looks at me for some sort of a response. He picks up my hand and starts playing with my fingers idly.
"Ezra, I have a confession to tell you."
His face falls like I have something horrible to tell him. "You do have someone, don't you?"
"No, no. Nothing like that. I think that when we were in Horizon, that maybe I did really love you. I think that I was just scared, Ezra, and I couldn't tell you that."
"Scared, Daisy? You never should have been scared to love me."
"I realize that now. But no one has ever really loved me before. Sure, my parents say they loved me, but they never acted like they actually did. Love was a new thing for me and I didn't know what to do with it. So I just ignored it."
"Don't ignore it again. Please." His eyes seem to be begging me.
"I won't ignore it again," I promise him.
"Then come on tour with me."
"What?" I jump up from my seat in amazement. "I can't come on tour with you! I have a job that I can't leave! I have an apartment and other things that I can't just forget about!"
"Daisy, I-I need you with me," he stands up to look me in the eye. Well, not really. He's still taller than me, but you know what I mean.
"I don't think I can," I whisper and stare down at the floor. I can't stand to look at him.
"Don't break my heart again."
"I'm sorry, Ezra, but I might have to."
END OF PART ONE