Just a funny little one shot that made me giggle so I thought I would share :)
Vincent Nigel-Murray balanced the box of bones carefully in one arm as he pushed open the door to Bone Storage. As he walked across the room, he heard Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth a couple of rows over.
"Hold still, Bones, I'm almost finished."
"That's what you said 5 minutes ago, and this is extremely uncomfortable."
Vincent froze, unsure if he should remain quiet or make his presence known.
"Stop being such a baby."
"I'm not being a baby, I just think it's in too deep for you to pull it out that way, and I've never had one this big before."
"The size doesn't matter, and I know what I'm doing, ok? Just trust me."
Horrified, Vincent began slowly backing out of the room - once outside, he practically ran back to the forensic platform. He set the box of bones down, and quickly began reciting facts in his head. Oh God, Agent Booth will kill me if he knows I heard them down there, he thought.
"Hey, man, want to grab some lunch?" Vincent jumped a foot as Hodgins came up behind him.
"Uh, yes, ok.... I just need to uhm... yes," Vincent stammered.
Hodgins raised his eyebrows. "I think it's time to lay off that British tea I see you swilling all day."
Just then Booth and Brennan walked up the stairs to the forensic platform. "Did I hear someone say lunch?" Booth asked.
Vincent whirled around, turning bright red as they approached him. Hodgins said, "Yeah, we're just about to head to the diner if you want to join us. Vincent, you coming?"
Vincent didn't think he could sit across the table from Agent Booth at the moment - he opened his mouth to decline and heard himself say, "Did you know that throughout history, men with the most impressive genitalia were also usually considered the greatest warriors?"
Hodgins and Booth stared at him incredulously, while Brennan nodded as she removed her lab coat. "Anthropologically speaking, it's quite fascinating really. It also holds true in today's society. For example, Booth...."
"Whoa!" Booth said, grabbing her shoulders and herding her down the platform steps. "Off the TMI train, and on to lunch. Let's go!"
"I don't understand what that means," Brennan said as he led her toward the lab doors.
"Unfortunately for me and my sanity, you probably never will," Booth muttered. "What would you know about my... you know, anyway?"
"I saw you in the bathtub, remember? You have nothing to be ashamed of," she replied.
"I know that, Bones, just don't go around talking about stuff like that ok?" As they crossed the street to the diner, he asked, "How's the finger, feel better?"
"No, it actually hurts more now than it did before you pulled the splinter out."
"Well, you couldn't just leave it in there....."